013: Resonating through Authenticity with Dr. Todd Dewett

By May 18, 2016Podcasts

 

Dr. Todd Dewett says: "We are all projecting these polished images so hard so often that people really crave to know the real person."

In today’s selfie-filtered world, people crave authenticity more than ever. Dr Todd Dewett shows us how valuable it is to be your true self, and why being a genuine  person is just as important as being a professional at work.

You’ll learn:

1) The importance of being real, and how to safely reveal more of your authentic self at work.
2) The power of vulnerability, and how exposing your mistakes can actually make you a better boss.
3) How to approach self improvement without it being overwhelming.

Dr. Todd Dewett is an internationally-recognized leadership and success expert and author. After beginning his career with Andersen Consulting and Ernst & Young, he earned a Ph.D. In Management from Texas A&M University.  He now travels the world and speaks to thousands of people every year. His video courses consistently hold a first place rating by professionals in over 170 countries through Lynda.com at LinkedIn.  He’s been quoted everywhere, from the New York Times to Forbes. When not on the road, he can be found at local sports matches with his two boys, who are his greatest accomplishment.

You can visit his home on the web at www.drdewett.com.

Items mentioned in the show:

Dr. Todd Dewett Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Todd, thanks so much for appearing on the “How to be Awesome at Your Job” podcast.

Dr. Todd Dewett
My pleasure, Pete.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that is an impressive bio with many credentials on it. Can you tell us something fun that we won’t find on the bio?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Something fun. Yeah, I mean my favorite activity– it almost sounds boring but to me it’s fun and that’s being a dad. I have two responsible yet still precautious boys – nine and thirteen. They’re very involved in sports and other things. When I’m not on the road, I get to play a taxi driver and helper to them on all their activities, and frankly, that’s my crowning achievement in life.

Pete Mockaitis
What are their activities?

Dr. Todd Dewett
They’re sports nuts. Little bit of that, they get from me. Some from their mom started the family but they’re all over dominating local baseball and basketball leagues and trying to make their own way.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, congratulations. I’m sure if they don’t appreciate it or express that now, they will later and that’s fantastic.

Dr. Todd Dewett
I hope so.

Pete Mockaitis
So you’ve got a lot of irons in the fire. It seems that now and historically, you’re doing many things. Could you may be open us up by sharing a bit of the story for how you came to be interested in all of these tidbits associated with life and professional skills and authenticity and just walk us through that journey a bit?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Sure. Well, we all have a different journey. Mine goes like this. So I fell in love with starting business as an undergrad and I did what you’re not supposed to do. I loved school. I want to stay with it. Went straight through from the University of Memphis to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville and did an MBA. Then I knew I had to get a good job eventually like we all do. I had some entrepreneurial leanings but I wanted to get a big brand name under my belt too. I have gone that way. First, with Andersen Consulting or what is now called Accenture and then Ernst & Young.

Working for those major organizations,  made it clear to me business is a passion, a fascination for me. It also made it clear that I wasn’t a traditional player in that space. What I meant by that is being an insider in a large hierarchy wasn’t the best fit for me. I’m a cantankerous, loud, energetic entrepreneurial type. I knew I needed to find a different way to enjoy business and that lead me to think about something I’d thought about for years – getting a PhD and starting advising from the outside. So, I did that.

I got a PhD in management and loved indulging my dorky side, studying it as a scholar. Studying people and leaders and teams in what they do at work and why and using that new status as an outsider in different ways to corporations. I eventually got a job at a school that I loved where I stayed for ten years. It’s called Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. I just loved to be in there. I had a blast teaching MBA students for ten years. And then, Pete, something very weird– to answer your question finally, it happened couple of years into being a professor. I was doing well, winning awards, earned tenure all that. But then, the phone started to ring and former students– at first, it was former students.

“Hey, I’m a manager. So and so now and we’ve got a meeting or a conference we’re working on. Well, the guy last year was kind of boring. I remember you’re loud and funny in class. Would you come out and give a talk? Tell us some of your stories.” So it began. I did that for free for several years until someone changed my life when he booked me for a gig. He said, “Wait a minute. What’s your fee?”

Pete Mockaitis
There we go.

Dr. Todd Dewett
I had never even thought about that. Slowly, I started earning money and then the gigs became very numerous and the fees became something that approached having a real income. So, I eventually had to make a decision to focus on it full time. I retired as senior tenured full professor and focused on writing and speaking full time and then you never know. It’s an interesting question. I’ll try not to go too long. You never know where life’s going to take you. You have to be open. So, I let go of the professor thing. Very hard to do.

I’ve been enjoying speaking and writing. And then, other things start to happen. I’ve got ongoing conversations with people in the television world which I don’t know if they’ll ever go anywhere in terms of being a talk host or a business reality personality. Those are fascinating things. Just when I thought life was getting interesting- you read the bio, you did the research- of course, you know I was lucky enough to meet the people at lynda.com. Now, I’m making all kinds of videos and contacts around the planet because of the amazing people at lynda.com. So, just when I think I knew where I was going for the next chapter, a new one starts to write itself.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, thanks for sharing that. I do want to talk a bit about the lynda.com pieces on a couple of dimensions. One is– so you got the little claim to fame as being the two-time– its bestselling author or does that also mean like most viewed modules? Is that kind of synonymous there?

Dr. Todd Dewett
You got it. Those are synonymous. That means that at one point in time across the millions of users in 170+ countries, there can be only one most popular in a given day course.

Pete Mockaitis
It’s like Highlander. You cut off people’s heads. Could be healthy.

Dr. Todd Dewett
Something like that. Yeah.

Pete Mockaitis
Couldn’t resist. So, I’m curious then and so feel free to toot your own horn here, either in terms of your own perception or what you’ve heard from viewers on the lynda.com. What is it do you think about your style or sheer prolificness that results and you having accomplished this feat?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, that’s a great question. I have a similar attitude to people who ask me, “Hey, how do I become a speaker? I like what you do. How do I do that?” Well, you’ve just got to study yourself and great speakers and different contexts and become a better speaker.

You use the word “style” and that’s spot on. I say whether I’m talking about lynda. Certainly, the lynda people wouldn’t want me to say this and we’re very close. I love those guys in case someone hears this. But I would say there’s something about lynda as I would say about speakers in what differences shapes- the good from the great. There are tons of folks who want to be full time speakers and can barely get a few gigs and like that. There are also those who do it full time. Is it because our messages are so much better? No. And that is an affront that would shock some people.

The messages are very similar all around. There has been nothing new created under the sun in many, many, many eons. The difference is whether or not you can look in the camera in the case of lynda or look in the eyeballs of people sitting in your audience and make a genuine connection by being vulnerable and authentic and sincere. When you do that, it’s amazing how much they want to listen to what you have to say.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I love that. Now, well tell us, what are some key principles or tactics or takeaways or things that one should do to become vulnerable and open and more prone to making those connections?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, lots of things. The first and that pops in my head is authenticity. What I find in professional life in general and I find this in speaking as well in terms of the speakers that are out there is that we often work hard to add the polish that we think is necessary to look like a “professional’ while in fact, not working as hard to project an image that is a real reflection of who you are. What common sense and some good science suggest is that people respond to authenticity. People like real. I’ve used that term many times. It’s part of one of my go-to stories in my current keynote. In fact, my latest book called, Show Your Ink, which is kind of about authenticity and related notions on why they’re powerful in life. The truth is, we are all projecting those polished images so hard so often that people really crave to know the real person. Not the image you’re managing, but the real person.

So, for me just as one example, as a speaker, that means that every gig whether it’s a firm you’ve never heard of or standing on stage in front of people at ExxonMobil or Ernst & Young, I’m wearing usually black Doc Marten shoes, blue jeans and a black shirt usually a button down tucked in. I may or may not have shaved. And that is just who I am and the sleeves are rolled up and the tats are showing and that’s just who I am. That’s my version of authenticity. It’s not a brand I created. I just became my brand. I love to encourage other people in professional life or whether you’re a speaker or just a person in a queue to find your own honest version of authenticity and watch how people react to that.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I love that. Now, there are lots of I think fear or alarm bells can be triggered or fired off associated with that like, “I’m in a professional environment. Can I really just show off  tattoos or wear whatever?” What’s your response to that?

Dr. Todd Dewett
That’s a great question. I love preaching the way I preach because it’s a goal people can aspire to. But where do you start? That brings your comment into play there. I say this to everyone especially young people who want to say, “I am who I am.” That’s the way I’ve been saying to you.  And this is the truth, every performance context has a set of norms, rules, regulations, call them what you want and you have to understand them, learn them, respect them and then, this is one of my favorite punch lines, ‘You’ve got to earn the right to deviate from them.’

Here’s a great thing I love sharing with everyone especially twentysomethings, “It’s amazing what you can get away with when you’re great at what you do.” So if you want to wear blue jeans or show the tats, wear the earrings whatever it is, if you are a go-to for value-added indispensable, they can’t live without you resource. It’s amazing how they’ll tolerate those eccentricities.

Pete Mockaitis
I like that so much because it’s funny. It seems that a lot of times, people tolerate highly confident individuals who are jerks.

Dr. Todd Dewett
Correct.

Pete Mockaitis
And that’s what we tolerate from them. And so, you’re just saying, “Well, don’t be a jerk but instead just be you.” If you’re so great in terms of like the competencies and delivering, that’s cool with them.

Dr. Todd Dewett
You know, that’s a really interesting insight. It’s a whole other topic that, believe it or not, I was writing about today. Jerks. We very often tolerate horrible behavior because they do have really, really hard to replicate skills. That said, we should not do it nearly as much as we do, but it’s a similar principle. You’re right. I’m not talking about jerks. I’m talking about good people simply being a little more expressive and genuine about who they are. You will get away with that, the better you are at your job.

Pete Mockaitis
And so, it’s not about– if I would understand you correctly, you’re not just getting away with it but you’re saying it is in fact superior. You said there’s some real science behind that that these kinds of things are associated with genuine connections and a good positive result. Could you share some of those data?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Sure. Well, I mean both are true. Sometimes ‘you’re getting away with it’ meaning someone who doesn’t like something about you, tolerates you. Such as, someone who doesn’t like tattoos would tolerate me when they see the value that I am. Other times, you’re really converting people and changing their view of an issue.

Again, just to stay with tattoos which is kind of part of my brand. Sometimes they go from not having an opinion or having a negative opinion to having a positive opinion because of the type of person you are and that’s the connection. People, back to the science, will follow someone or respects someone if they’re confident and they have a title that makes them have actual authority but they will follow much faster, stick with you much longer through adversity if they know and respect you as a person, not just a professional. As a person with integrity and character and some interesting characteristics not just a boss with a title and a role above them, one is sterile and legit. The other is human and warm and legit. Only when they see both sides, you get a team that is truly maximized.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s great. It’s so funny. It’s almost an odd question but that’s my default go-to. I like to dig in and see the hows and the tactics and the practices and the action items. And to some ways, you’re just saying “Just be authentic.” In a way, is it fair to say there’s not much you really do? You just kind of are.

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, kind of. I advocate openly the toe in the water. Remember, every performance context has rules, regs and norms. Ways in behaving that are sometimes written down, very often not written down, but are apparent based on behaviors in the group or the organization. When someone hears me preach about authenticity and they say to me, “Well, everyone’s wearing suits. I can’t just walk in wearing jeans.” Well, no, you can’t. What you can do is put your toe in the water and wear something and don’t worry about suit that’s different that you enjoy and then maybe perform so strong that you can talk to your boss, your friends in HR and others and talk about why this company would be smart. What’s the business case for institute in some casual attire days? You can find a way based on your performance. You can find a way to start pushing that conversation forward. So to your point, no, you never just jump in and go “Here’s the real me!” but you can with the toe in the water. Slowly but surely you get there if you’re a good enough person and a great enough performer.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And so tell us what are some other key takeaways in “Show Your Ink” we should know about?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, vulnerability. Great bosses are now different than me in terms of communicating with people at some level. Everyone thinks you’re suppose to lead with competence and confidence like I mentioned a minute ago. I love to say it very clearly. Those things are important if not vital, but they are not enough. If you truly want people to listen, then you did see that a human thing, and vulnerabilities are big part of it. Bosses do not like to admit what they don’t know or mistakes that they have made.

I’m here to tell you that you what you don’t know and the mistakes that you’ve made when used correctly are overly amazing at building human bonds between people because they want to know-  they being the people who follow you– they want to know that you’re human and imperfect just like them. They can see the accolades, the awards and the accomplishments but they also need to see the hard work, the screw ups and the learning moments if you want them to be as forthright in following you as possible.

Pete Mockaitis
I love it. So now you’re telling me and the world, I guess, that you’ve got more to gain than you have to lose by sharing your mistakes. So are there any certain qualifiers associated with that?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Absolutely. I love to joke that you are not supposed to follow my advice twice a week that makes you very strange. But you are silly not to follow my advice twice a year. Just to pick a number, now every leader in every group is different but the right number is, is going to be rate probably widely. Less is more with my theory here.

But it works if you find a way and talk about the project that you lost- the time you got fired. I do it with the audiences just to make a point. Leaders are model of the way. Hey, let me show you by making fun of myself and telling them about the time when I was 16 that I got fired from the local frozen yogurt shop because I was caught giving away product to my friends and that other mistakes in my life. They are funny. They’re embarrassing and they were useful learning moments. Every leader has them, too many of them. Hide them. Your goal, once in a while, is to figure out how to openly use them to build a bond with the team.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, that’s fantastic. What else?

Dr. Todd Dewett
In terms of connecting with an audience?

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I think showing your failures seems like a brilliant kind of often overlooked thing that we might tend to not do because we’re scared and it’s just sort of a counter-normative. Are there any other practices like that?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, I would say back to being personal and vulnerable personal, you can make fun of yourself like I was doing just a minute ago and even if your not making fun of yourself, you can talk about issues that matter to everyone when you’re trying to belittle your boss running a meeting or me on stage. Issues that matter to everyone

So, for example, I got a story that I love about the power of the glass half full and involves some things my father taught me during his battle with cancer. Well, guess what? Love of your parents and dealing with illness. These are profoundly universal topics. So if you can make your message delivered– number one, through story– to answer your question. Stories are emotional and they seal learning better than any infographic ever could. Make them ‘you’ stories. Make them personal because the more personal they are, the more authentic you appear, and the more relatable you are to the people listening because general issues such as the ones about my dad are things people can relate to. I know that because gig after gig for years, they come up and tell me their version of these stories and thank me for being so forthright and talking about personal issues on stage.

Pete Mockaitis
Fantastic. Great stuff there associated with authenticity and the connection and the how- that’s the bigger point. At the same time, I’m also going to go into the content point. Within the lynda.com stuff, what would you say are your most viewed, shared, transformative nuggets within your portfolio of lynda.com offerings and why?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, it’s kind of a tough question because I’ve got 33 courses more than anyone else in that space by long shot and each one’s got lots of parts. So, here’s one answer. One answer is the management tips series. It’s by far my most successful. I think I know the reason. That series is not a course for 30 minutes or an hour and a half, which most are. It’s a series of– I don’t remember– 100+ three-minute give or take quick rants if you will, by me, on bite-sized topics. It’s instant, practical, useful, tried and true things on a given topic that someone can use quickly anytime they want to, 24/7, digestible on any device with the connection- even without a connection because they can download for now and view later. I could tell you the topics that are most popular are the most humanly universal.

Now for example, I’m grateful that my new manager in fundamentals and my managing team’s course– I’m glad that they’ve got 20,000+ users so far each. But you know what, there’s a reason that the time management course and the stress course and a few others that are about life skills are the most, have even more bigger viewership. It’s because they are fundamental things in life people struggle with and would love to have simple, honest, practical advice to help them with. When you combine practical content, this has been tried– let me give you one example.

If you’re trying to improve yourself, self-improvement, a wonderful classic issue. Most people who look at themselves which guys like me or recommend they should do and they reflect in certain specific ways and they realize, “Yes, I am imperfect and there’s about 45 ways I probably should change. That’s overwhelming. That’s scary. My efforts go nowhere fast because I can’t do all that. That’s just too much. That’s a mountain.” Well, what I do is remind people ‘every mountain is conquered one step at a time.’ So personal improvement and change does not happen by identifying 20 or 45 ways to move forward. It starts with a legit needed small win. One or two things. That’s it. What are they? One of the practical ways you can change your behavior tomorrow to address those one or two things and move them a step forward. Now when you do that, that’s data. It makes the way you think very different. It makes you believe more steps are possible. So what I just did ranting here with you just kind of ad libbing  is a very practical take on how to get someone who’s feeling cloudy about an issue and apprehensive about an issue and get them focused on a simple place to start in a believable doable way. Once again, you take good content with the communication ability that’s really strong, boom. Views go up and up and up.

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. Beautiful. Is there anything else that you just want to make sure you put out there before we shift gears into the fast faves?

Dr. Todd Dewett
You’re talking about lynda or in general about success?

Pete Mockaitis
Imagining a group of folks in their late twenties and are kind of hungry, and growing and learning, and developing. Is there anything else that you want to make sure you put out there before I kind of move into sort of a structured boom, boom, boom list of questions?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Sure. Absolutely. Let me just tell them, I’m glad you think you know everything. I’m glad you’re young and full of energy. I want you to realize that the ones listening right now, the folks who are going to be amazingly successful compared to the rest twenty years later are the ones should learn how to admit that they don’t know much compared to that which there is to know. It’s about learning on a continuous basis. When you do that, as opposed to thinking you somehow know something. It’s not about knowing nearly as much as it is continuous learning. That’s the group that succeeds. So stop bragging about your degree and realize that your degree is just step one.

Pete Mockaitis
Perfect. All right. Well, let’s kick it off then with the fast faves. Number one, can you tell us about a favorite quote something that inspires you again and again?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Yeah. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I’m not sure if I got that right. Socrates or Plato, one of those. I love that because I believe most people are unspeakably lacking in reflections and folks who are successful, look in the mirror no matter how much it hurts.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes. How about a favorite study? A piece of research or experimentation that like you find yourself thinking about or citing again and again?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Wow. That’s so hard. I mean I’m a recovering scientist. If I gotta pull one. I can’t remember the scholar’s name but if you Google this, anyone can find it. The marshmallow experiment. Those little kids and who could and could not resist the extra marshmallow. It’s an amazing comment on how human beings when they learn the ability to think long term and not just short term. When they think about resisting and indulging just because they can and they wait in the service of long term goals, well the study suggests and common sense suggests that the kids who could resist it long term understood goal-oriented behavior more and became far more successful than the kids who gobble up all the marshmallows.

Pete Mockaitis
Excellent. How about a favorite book?

Dr. Todd Dewett
I’ve got a  bunch. Just one. I would say and give you classic. I love one of the few books I’ve read twice. I think there’s this tiny short list from most of us. “The Goal” by Eli Goldratt.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh. That’s fun.

Dr. Todd Dewett
It’s such a great book. I was forced to read it by an operations professor, undergraduate business degree. I was mad that he said, “Go read it over the weekend.” Loved it and have referenced it in its teachings many times. Definitely worth people checking out.

Pete Mockaitis
I always think about those scouts trekking up the mountain with the slow guy. It’s a good visual. How about a favorite website or online resource?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Of course, Lynda. But that’s a paid resource. Well, I give you two that I love. I admit my bias here. But they are both very popular. This is not me promoting a product or making a dime, Pete. I was a founding editorial board member of the fascinating HR leadership-related website called ‘HR Examiner’ and the thought provoking daily writings and different ways that come out there are worth your time. The second one where I was also a founding member is called ‘Switch and Shift.’ It is one of the most popular leadership-related blogs in the planet. It’s won lots of awards. The writing there– I think of as a fast company style. You know the magazine Fast Company?

Pete Mockaitis
Yup.

Dr. Todd Dewett
I think of it that style kind of defines ‘Switch and Shift’ for me. Both of those, folks should check out.

Pete Mockaitis
How about a favorite habit? Game changing personal practice of yours.

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, I mostly not universally practice what I preach. I am human. I admit it. But I love micro rewards on a daily basis. What I mean by that is, “Hey, just because I want to go to this place over here for lunch today, I’m not going to do that. Unless, I agree to define some work product that will get done and then I get it done and then I earned a lunch. Otherwise, forget about it. Maybe tomorrow if I earn it then. But I love giving myself small little things to shoot for based on legit performance standards.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s great. Unless, that thing is a shower and you keep missing the mark.

Dr. Todd Dewett
Fair enough.

Pete Mockaitis
How about favorite tools? Any gadgets or software or frameworks you use often?

Dr. Todd Dewett
No, I’m pretty simple guy. I mean I’m a Mac junkie. I love their products and their general tools that come built-in. I also love old school. I like sitting down when I’m on a phone call not with a iPad and writing on the screen. I love the feel of pages. For my clients who gave me gifts, I’ve got this little tiny books. One I am using right now is black. My little black book where I write down all the conversations with client. I think something special happens when we’re writing for the people listening and who haven’t written for a while. Give it a shot because it’s a unique way to communicate your ideas into a medium. It’ll make you think because you’re not used to doing it as much anymore.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes. Any favorite time-saving tricks?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, I can tell you what works for me in terms of prioritizing everyday and of course, every one’s different. I tend to say “All right. What’s the monster under my bed? What’s the big bear, the big thing ‘I got to get it done.’ I take that as my first– for target practice straight up. Go after it. So, I find that once I mentally get over the hurdle of facing the biggest task and then go kill it, make some progress on it whatever it is- writing something or a big project call- whatever it might be, that everything else mentally feels great after I slayed the big dragon.

Pete Mockaitis
Wonderful. How about a favorite sort of nugget that when you share it to an audience, you see heads nodding and notes being taken, retweets occurring? What would be some other things that you share?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Probably, one of the most popular is a saying I’ve been using for a couple of years now, in high performing teens, candor always trumps stability. Now I could go on forever about what that means but I think it’s fairly self-explanatory. It’s true for individuals as much as teens. Stability is beautiful. Candor is even more important.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I love it. How about a favorite role model? Someone that you look up to and inspires you?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Well, I’m going to be choosy here. Hope you don’t mind. I’m being very honest. I thought about this for years. I’ve written about it before. I’m going to go with my dad. He’s not with us anymore. The reason I say that is not because of business accomplishments but because of how he changed life. He used to have a very bad drinking problem. He became an amazing guy for the last decade plus of his life when he got control of that habit, got rid of that habit. That was a model to me that proved real transformation is possible. Not a joke at all. It’s very possible and he gets credit for making me believe that’s true.

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. Favorite way to find you if folks want to learn more about you? What’s the best place to send them?

Dr. Todd Dewett
Easiest is just my main website, drdewett.com. It’s D-R-D-E-W-E-T-T dot com.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. As a final thought, a favorite challenge or a parting call to action for those seeking to be more awesome at their jobs?

Dr. Todd Dewett
I’m going to double down what I said a little while ago. This whole career thing– you need more than just dollars you’re chasing. You need purpose and it’s not a sprint to the next promotion. It is a marathon about real accomplishments that are involved. Things that benefit others, not just your self.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, fantastic. Thank you. Dr. Todd Dewett. It has been a real treat. Thanks so much for taking the time to be on the “How to be Awesome at Your Job” podcast.

Dr. Todd Dewett
My pleasure. Take care.

Pete Mockaitis
You too.

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