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1115: How to Earn and Keep Your Next Promotion with Mark Thompson

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Mark Thompson reveals the principles of readiness that he’s used to help aspiring CEOs get the top job.

You’ll Learn

  1. The one behavior that makes you more CEO-like
  2. Why to take on your boss’ problems
  3. The question that dramatically improves your appeal

About Mark

Mark Thompson is a globally recognized authority on CEO succession, executive readiness, and high-stakes leadership transitions. He has led more than a hundred board-level engagements to prepare C-suite successors to step confidently into enterprise leadership. He is the founding chairman and CEO of the Chief Executive Alliance and the CEO Leadership Plan Review (LPR). Previously, he served as chief executive of the CEO Academy, a SHRM company, in partnership with Wharton and McKinsey.

Earlier in his career, Thompson reported directly to founder Charles “Chuck” Schwab, serving as executive producer of Schwab.com, the first large-scale digital platform for online investing. In 2021, he was ranked by Marshall Goldsmith as the #1 CEO Coach, and in 2023 he was inducted into the Thinkers50 Coaching Legends.

Resources Mentioned

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Mark Thompson Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Mark, welcome!

Mark Thompson
Hey, great to be here. I love your work.

Pete Mockaitis
Thank you. Well, I love your work. I’m excited to talk about becoming CEO Ready, or just advancement ready, in general. But first I got to hear, you are the guy who calls Marshall Goldsmith regularly, asking him key questions. Tell us about this.

Mark Thompson
I mean, there’s nothing more powerful than to be held accountable about something that is your goal, and yet we don’t follow our own goals. So, we will set up a prompt that will be about, in his case and mine, “Did you do your exercise today? Did you tell your spouse that you love her? Do you make sure that you’re reaching out to your kids? Have you made progress writing the book?” “Oops!” Well, you can only lie about that for so long to a good friend.

So, there’s nothing better than to have kind of that loving critic in your life who is sharing with you the time, the kind of the precious gift of saying, “Hey, I’m going to support you. These are your goals, though, dude, because you need to show up for them.” And so, that’s what we do. We’ve done that for many, many, many years. And people will ask us, “Well, aren’t you guys supposed to be like master coaches?” And it’s like, “Well, it’s called a practice, whether you’re a musician or anything else.”

And so, what is so interesting is how you drift, and we all have that. That’s something we all have in common. So, think about that like personal board of directors or a set of people that you might think about setting up a series of goals that you’ve had for a while, and see if they can help you keep yourself accountable.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, yes, that’s exactly what I asked Marshall. It’s like, so you’re like the Mr. Top Dog coach here and you’re saying you have a person call you every day to say, “Did I do my best to…etc.?” And I thought that was pretty inspiring in terms of we humans can all benefit from some of that.

Mark Thompson
Also I love his framing because it’s not, “Did you accomplish the task of being happy? Did you make sure that all of these things were necessarily done?” It’s really more that life is about making progress, isn’t it, towards your goals? And so, the idea there is “Did I do my best towards this particular objective? And am I making progress?”

I mean, that’s what makes a life worth living, is when you kind of feel like you’re making progress, not that you always have to have the brass ring every day. So, his inspiration really was something that, actually, very few people do, but it’s surprisingly powerful when you know you’re going to get that call.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, it is. Well, right now, I got a buddy who’s trying to lose some weight, and I said, “Hey, I want to try something out here. Maybe this will become a service I offer or build an empire to offer.”

Mark Thompson
Indeed.

Pete Mockaitis
It’s, “Send me a screenshot of your calorie-tracking app every evening when you’re done eating for the day.”

Mark Thompson
Darn.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, sure enough, it’s like…

Mark Thompson
Busted!

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, he knows it’s coming. And so, you know, most days there’s a pretty solid caloric deficit. And so, that’s brick by brick, that’s how you build the thing.

Mark Thompson
It is. And, you know, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about making progress. So, I really admire the idea that, if you can be coachable enough to just take feedback, not on the other person’s goals, but on yours, that’s the thing that’s amazing about it. Marshall and I, for about 700 hours during the pandemic, we had these small groups that got together, and they were at all levels, all incredibly interesting people, highly accomplished actors, celebrities, CEOs, people from all walks of life.

Well, you know, it doesn’t matter whether you’re the most entry-level executive, or you’re a person working in a call center, or a teller at a desk, it is common to all of us to aspire for things that we’d love to accomplish in our lives. And yet, without that accountability partner, we don’t actually make that kind of progress or set aside the steps or time for it.

So, I couldn’t be more excited about the fact that we’re talking about this today because that’s probably the single most effective thing we could do to be even showing up awesomely in our job, is to, let’s say, just for a moment, let’s do a little check in. We’ll do a feed forward, “What could I be doing to make your life easier, boss?”

She or he is being judged by their bosses. It’s hard to feel empathetic about that, but they also have the same nerve-wracking transitions and reviews and feedback that they’re getting. So, hey, could we go and actually ask, “How could I make your life better today? How could I make it easier? How could I do a better job of showing up for you?”

Also, with your peers, this is a way to be kind of, in a sense, CEO-like. When I’m coaching CEOs to be ready for the job, they’re highly accomplished people. They’ve been doing a lot of successful impact in their companies or in the industry. But what’s going to really separate them apart is whether you’re willing to really help the organization move ahead, whether it’s your boss, your board, or an entire community organization.

So, this idea of actually doing the check-ins, people are astonished. They’re astonished when you’re asking them, “How can I do a better job of showing up for you?” That alone gives you disproportionate and outsized points with people, “I never thought Mark would, really? He’s not going to improve at that.” Like, “Well, how could I be a better listener, honey?” “Wait, what? You’re asking me?”

And so, I’d say that that ends up being, it’s disarming as well as empowering. And the good news is you don’t actually have to do all of that stuff. You can prioritize, right? Asking is really worth it.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, certainly. And I am a big believer that I have been asked before and I have been the asker, and it’s magic, it’s like, “Oh, well, thank you so much. Well, let’s see.” And it’s very beautiful.

Mark Thompson
It is.

Pete Mockaitis
So, let’s talk about your book, CEO Ready. You’ve coached a bunch of folks and you put together this book. Can you tell us any particularly surprising or counterintuitive discoveries you’ve made about us humans and becoming ready to take on the CEO job or just a bigger job?

Mark Thompson
Yes, I think that latter question is really what makes this the most profound surprise for me is because it ends up being relatable at all levels. Whenever you’re trying to, maybe, acquire the next level of responsibility, or step into the next role, or even be noticed and attractive for that next role, it’s important to do exactly what I’ve learned the titans of the world do when they’re being considered for the biggest job of their lives, running the biggest companies in the world. The very same attribute.

And it’s interesting, they often have a harder time than the most of the rest of us might because of the level of success that they’ve had, and that maybe overconfidence that they have in thinking that they’ve arrived at becoming a CEO as a destination. Your next promotion isn’t a reward for all you’ve done. It’s an opportunity to learn how you can now contribute at a higher level of skill.

In other words, the biggest surprise I learned is, no matter how far you’ve come, there’s always a little bit more to learn. And if you’re willing to ask, and if you’re willing to invest the extra time, effort, and humility to get better, that’s what you need to be promotable, to be attractive in that next job. That humility is attractive and disarming, very much like getting feedback.

And here’s the twist on it. It’s not that you’re humble because you’re afraid. It’s not that you’re humble because you don’t want to get out of bed because it’s too risky. That’s not the kind of humility related to fear. The humility has to do with being curious about what will it take to be successful at this next gig.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s right. Yes. And I see that connection between the humility and the curiosity is because, implied with the, “What will it take?” is the underlying assumption that, “What I’ve already been doing is not exactly perfect.”

Mark Thompson

Yeah, “I’d hate to think about it that way, so I don’t.” And if you do, the interesting thing is you get huge points for that. It’s one of the things that really differentiates people. Corie Barry, when she was being approached to think about being the CEO candidate, walking in the legendary footsteps of her predecessor who had rescued Best Buy as a Big-Box store, when he approached her, she sent him a seven-page expose, saying, “On the first page here, this is how I could really get the idea that I should be CEO, but I needed to work on these other six pages.”

And instantly almost, the board and he said, “You’re our gal.” The typical response for most folks is to either celebrate with arrogance, or celebrate with maybe denial that we have stuff to work on. And that we’re not quite ready. That’s the reason I really frame this as, “Are we ready for this?” It’s a matter of always preparing and practicing, and then having that sense of inquiry that allows you to understand what’s going to be needed next in that job.

I think a lot of people think that, as they go through their career, it kind of adds up to the next job. And now what you need to also is be kind of reaching and thinking about what is it going to take to be successful and to contribute success for your organization in that next role. I think that’s the difference, “Is it owed to me? Do you deserve it?” Probably.

“Are you ready?” No, because you don’t really know what’s going to be needed. It’s not that the boss who leaves even needs a mini me. They probably need something mini better. And that would be what, really, we found is kind of it’s both an enabler and it’s almost a secret career killer. It’s a blind spot to say that we were kind of avoiding it, being able to be talking about, “What do I need to learn for this next job?” It’s actually something that’s admired usually by leadership.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I love that a lot. We had the CEO of Korn Ferry on the show, Gary Burnison, and he talked about that very same concept. I think he might have called it, was it leadership agility or learning agility? One of the top competencies associated with successful executives is just this, like, “Huh, what do I need to know and how do I learn it?” And by being not a know-it-all, but a learn-it-all, you serve yourself very well for advancement.

Mark Thompson
Right on. I’d say that ends up being something that differentiates you from the crowd. And then also this idea that we’ve been talking about here, which has to do with being interested in making your boss successful, “What are really the attributes that has made that individual able to get through their reviews? And how are they being rated? And what’s their span of control?”

Because then, you can also do something that you’ve been hired to be in your swim lane, but to be really interesting for the next role, you need to think about all the swim lanes that would be under the responsibility of the job that you would get if you were promoted.

And so, to think more expansively and empathically about what it will take to be successful in that next job, in addition to your current one, is something that aligns you, really, as being an easier pick. They’d rather have an internal person who’s got that context and then has had the extra temerity to put in the effort, run some other drills so that they’re ready for that next job.

It’s usually something that we think is a privilege or a prize, and it’s really more matter of actually earning it again, which is why our subtitle is how to earn and keep it, is because what’s needed usually for the next person in the job that you might get promoted into is probably not everything that that person currently is doing. It’s something else, something more, something different.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, and keep it is striking. I believe that there is some spooky data associated with, I don’t know if you want to call it a bounce rate, but people rise to CEO and then they exit kind of fast. Can you unpack this?

Mark Thompson
Boom. It’s been happening at a higher rate than ever before in history. The other thing that really led Harvard Business Review to approach Byron and I. Byron’s at NASDAQ, and he coaches boards and helps them. And I’m the guy who’s known to coach CEOs. And we’ve been seeing a turnover rate like never before.

And, in fact, if you see some of the research that they’ve done and others, the boards that pick a new CEO are often, half of them, are disappointed within 18 months. Not that they’re fired yet. And the level of activism, which are these kinds of shareholders who make a complaint that, “We’re not doing well enough as a public company,” will often, well, I’ll put it this way.

Five years ago, if you had a knock at the door from an activist investor, there was maybe a one in 20 chance that you’d lose your job as CEO. Today, it’s maybe 20% of the time. And if you’re at a big brand, it’s 40% of the time you’re out. So, it’s almost too late because they haven’t been expressing the alignment with all of their stakeholders, which is what we can all do at any level in our career.

This is what’s so portable about the principles of readiness that, think about all the people who have a say in choosing you for that next role, and think about all the people who have to be impressed or have to ratify the approval of you making an advancement, and see what you can learn about each of those responsibilities, each of those stakeholders.

For a CEO, it ends up being, “I need to learn about those shareholders and those pesky analysts and activists, and my board, if there’s a board of directors. I need, of course, to be better aligned with my CEO in whatever dramas she is going through or he’s going through. I need to know what the HR department’s doing, and I need to be able to think about my peers across the C-suite.”

In other words, if I’m in the job of CFO, I need to be thinking about my head of marketing and all the other people, the head of legal, the head of operations. They’re going to have to weigh in a little bit on voting me into office because I’m going to go from peer to chief if I’m lucky. And if I’m just a competitor. So, think about how, you know, often when at any level in the business, when it may be your first time manager, you are kind of, in a sense, in competition and collaboration with all of your other managers around you, your peers.

And if you’re to be picked out of the group, you can’t just be the one fighting for your own department. You have to be one who’s also seen as saying, “You know, Pete’s work is amazing, and I’m going to enable Pete’s work. I’m the better option. But I’ve got to prove that. And I’ve got to prove it to Pete, because maybe he’s not going to decide whether I get the job.” But it can often kill the prospects if you’re known as the person who’s just about me.

And so, thinking about your ascent when they’re banking the selection process is important, “How does this guy, Mark or Pete, show up compared to the others in terms of being able to play with others?”

Pete Mockaitis
Very well. Very good. Well, so I like your story about Best Buy a lot. Could you dive into another story that illustrates some of the principles and the best practices and the top things you recommend for folks, as someone who was maybe not so ready, but they dug in, they did some key things and away they went?

Mark Thompson
Well, you know, one of the people that I admire so much in technology is Cristiano Amon, who is the CEO of Qualcomm, one of the biggest chip companies in the world, known for patents, technical excellence, was running the biggest division of Qualcomm. What was so impressive about him when I did the 360, which is this idea that I’m suggesting that all of us who are listening to this program do, get some inputs from people all around you and see what you can do better.

And it’s interesting. He was actually the most insightful in self-reflection. He says that the job of trying to advance to the next level of responsibility is a job which means that you’re constantly, once you’re in your comfort zone, you’re now pushing yourself beyond it. I mean, once you feel like, “Well, we’ve got this stable. We’ve got this. Now we’re saying, okay, let’s take on more. Well, how exactly would we do that?”

And he had a wonderful way of expressing it. He said, “If you aren’t also trying to test to your edge of incompetence, I’m not sure you deserve to be here a year from now.” You need to stretch and say, “Okay, this is where I am today. I’m a mediocre trumpet player, but I just get my jollies every time I’m sent a sheet music that says intermediate from beginner. I’ve graduated. Everybody wants to be able to do that. What’s it going to take to push yourself just a little further than you’re comfortable?’”

Once again, I think we often can look at our careers as thinking we’ve done a lot of work, we’ve done it well, and we do deserve the advancement, that’s for sure. And yet this next job is going to be involving maybe getting out of your comfort zone in addition to being curious and then doing some skill building.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes. Okay. I like that a lot. Well, then can we walk through some key steps? So, we’ve got a mindset associated with humility and being of service and trying to help those who are higher-up succeed. And then if we’ve got that in place, what are some of the other top things you recommend we do?

Mark Thompson
Well, I’d say that one of the things that would be helpful is to think about yourself as a utility infielder. In sports, you know, that’s the person they throw onto the baseball field who can play more than one position.

So, if there are other types of opportunities, projects, collaborations with teams in other parts of the organization, in other words, kind of branch out across and see if there isn’t a way for you to get support from your boss to be able to help her or him with their reputation and the position of the department by supporting your division or having involvement in a new strategic initiative. So, you don’t have unlimited energy. You obviously don’t have unlimited time.

But to show the interest, I’d say that your punch list should be for this next year as we look at this wonderful year ahead, if there’s any resolution you had, it would be, “What else could I be doing in this current organization that would allow me to expand my experiences, my impact, my reputation? And what would those be?”

And what that does is it allows you also to test, “What do I really am interested in?” You’re going to try some things, “Oh, well, I don’t need to do that again.” Others, you might find as even another step in your career path. So, to be very intentional about setting your goals for the coming year to be one where you’re thinking about growing and getting noticed by expanding what you volunteer to do throughout the organization.

Pete Mockaitis
And so, there’s many directions, as you mentioned, that we might choose to take on and grow in. Do you have a top listing of the key things to demonstrate, or your book cover has a checkbox with a check mark in it, like the key boxes that we want to check and show others that we’ve checked?

Mark Thompson
Absolutely. So, number one is this idea that you’re thinking about the success of your boss, which we noted a moment ago. What is it that will make them successful in the year ahead? What is it that you could be contributed to that would allow them to be able to build their reputation? So that’s step number one.

Step number two is to really start to map some scenarios so that you can reach out across the department or other organizations so that you can get more experiences within that organization. Step three is to think about what kind of skill-building that might involve. Maybe you need to take an extra class. Maybe you’re going to learn something more about AI. Maybe there’s an opportunity for you to double down on a skill that you want to complete, which requires some fluency in something that you need to accomplish.

The next step is then to think about the stakeholders who are going to be making the decision, “How can I spend time with the people that I know who they’re going to ask about whether I should be advanced or not?” And start to find reasons to hit them in the cafeteria or go to lunch or spend some time with all those who have an impact on the decision that’s going to be made, those stakeholders that are so essential?

And then make sure that you are part of a regular feedback process in your organization. What I found, and you’ll see in the book, is that there’s at least two dozen types of psychological and personality assessments that people can take that are often brought in by the HR department to try to see, “Do you really have the temperament and the background that we need for the next job?”

This is definitely the case at the C-suite and the CEO level. There’s probably more tests out there than ever. And so, what I like to do is give people a sense of patience in undergoing that kind of activity of taking an assessment or getting some feedback. But it can be a gift because you can learn so much about yourself by using these tools.

You just have to calibrate for the fact that, when you do get feedback, especially from assessments, that it’s not necessarily an attempt to find the truth about you. It’s an attempt for you to become more self-aware of what perceptions you might generate in other people’s thinking about you.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Well said. Well said.

Mark Thompson
In other words, it’s not the truth, right? I mean, when it comes to psychology, there’s never an absolute 100% correlation coefficient. It’s really more a matter of, “So, if I’m leaving the impression that’s like this, why are people having that perception?” If you can open your heart and mind to that, and it’s not easy, that makes you really incredibly accelerate your progress quickly.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I like that a lot because many times the way these tools, these assessment reports’ outputs are phrased, it’s like, “Oh, on this dimension, on this construct, on this competency, you are at a 2.3.” It was like, “Oh, no, that’s a low number. I am bad at this.” Just to remember, “Ah, the assessment is not actually capable of telling me that I’m bad at this. It’s only capable of telling me the people’s perception of me on this.”

Mark Thompson
Thank you. Yes, exactly. Right. And I think that’s the interesting thing about integrating that feedback into your life, because you might feel that that’s a statement of the facts and that might hurt, the way you’re describing it. It’s interesting how perceptions are actually harder to change on the part of others than the facts are.

You can actually demonstrably become a better listener in meetings six, seven, eight times, and on the ninth time, blurt, interrupt, get short, and then they’ll say, “Yeah, no, Mark never listens.” And part of that is on you and parts on them because part of it is that it can be a little more convenient to stereotype each other, “And he just, Mark just talks and nobody listens. That’s just how he is.”

And then, “I don’t have to really, if Mark’s my boss, then I may not have to really invest in trying to find my voice and finding a way to speak to power and scroll up the courage to talk to that person.” So, it kind of lets them off the hook, because I’m just not a nice guy. The perceptions, too, also kind of stick for the reason that we don’t practice them with enough rigor and enough regularity.

That’s why readiness is really about a practice. I mean, you know, if you’re a musician or you play a sport or there’s some skill that you’ve developed, you’ve probably noticed that you get better when you practice it. And for me, particularly, if I don’t, I atrophy really fast. So, I think that ends up being the opportunity that most people are facing. If you want to be ready for the next gig, then practice and see how you might be able to show up differently.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. I’m curious, when you talk about this issue of perception, it’s tricky. We, human beings, we think what we think, we perceive what we perceive, we form opinions and judgments of others, and sometimes they’re accurate and sometimes they’re not. But, nonetheless, individuals’ perceptions will influence or decide whether or not we do advance. So, do you have any pro tips on just common mistakes that make other people think less of us that we should be on the lookout for to avoid?

Mark Thompson
Absolutely. And the context ends up being in the book, with respect to this notion of what you’re describing for really reaching out across, because if you’re going to be a chief executive, you’re going to lead a whole organization. The biggest blind spot ends up being saying that, “Because I was great at what I was doing in this part of the company, and I assume that I understand all the other executive functions in the company.”

And so, to be able to slow down and consider what is really the context in which people are expressing their value set or their needs based on, as I mentioned earlier, they might be the general counsel, they might be a lawyer, they’re going to talk a little differently than a chief marketing officer. They’re going to show up in a way that frames what they care the most about.

In the case of the lawyer, it’s probably, “Well, we need to be in compliance, and we need to make sure that people are safe, and that we don’t get ahead of ourselves.” And the marketing person was saying, “Yeah, but we need to reach everybody, and we need to be able to have impact, and we need to be able to light up people’s emotions,” and you’re both right.

And so, to the extent that you can start to be willing to learn a little bit of the language, and I talk about kind of conversational, you don’t have to be totally fluent in the language of all the other stakeholders. But I think what happens is that people will very much appreciate your interest in them. People appreciate when you ask about their functional area, when you are, we talked about curiosity earlier.

If you really show that, you get a lot of points in terms of their perceptions of your openness, your intelligence, and your appeal because you’ve talked about them, and you’ve talked about what they care about, and you’ve been able to explore in a deeper way what lights them up.

I wrote a prior book called Admired, which I have here, which is entirely about this, where we looked at the most admired people in companies. And what we found is that we all expect to be valued, respected, and admired for what we contribute. And we want to be valued, admired, and respected even for our intentions, not even what we’ve accomplished, but because we have good intentions.

And then we asked people, we did a national survey on this, then we asked people, “Well, how well have you come to understand what the people who you are relying on for that feedback, what they value, and what they’re interested in? I mean, do you know how they want to be valued and admired and respected?”

And the process of actually finding out what that is for your boss, for your peers, for the people who have impact on your boss, is an incredibly engaging and exciting prospect for…People love talking about themselves. They love talking about their journey and then, all of a sudden, they cut you slack when you share your point of view.

There’s very little of that. There’s not enough today, I think, in society of that kind of conversation of trying to understand. Steve Covey, who wrote, The 7 Habits of Most Effective People, and is famous for all of that, he used to always talk about, “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” And that would be game changer.

That would change the stakes, you know, “Once I’ve demonstrated that I’ve heard you and that I understand you.” I think people are reluctant to do that because I may have to, it sometimes implies that I agree with you by saying that I understand what you’re saying. And it’s not the case. And what I’m saying is, “I respect and admire and value what you’re saying. I’ll decide later whether I agree. But I’m not giving anything up.”

I think people think it’s zero sum that way. It’s either my way or your way. And I think if you consider, why it is people are thinking the way they are, why your boss is triggered by something, it’s probably because she or he is being judged by their bosses for something that you could help with that would get you promoted.

Pete Mockaitis
Right. And when you’re having these conversations to try to gain this understanding, are there any of your favorite go-to questions you love here?

Mark Thompson
One of the things that’s probably the most surprising is, “Who do they admire?” It’s interesting, when I asked you that question and I asked you to kind of form a picture in your head or your listeners right now, think about somebody that you really, truly value, admire, and respect, who you know, not just someone from history, but someone who touched your heart that you feel that way about.

And what’s nice about that is you can know a person really well and ask them, “I could ask Pete who I don’t know at all, ‘Who do you admire?’” Neither way would it be creepy. But it is actually rather intimate because people give you a very deep answer. They’ll talk about that mom who had endless patience, who supported the family and exhibited the kind of grit and effort to support to make this family successful.

And then you’ll ask them, “So, what is it about her that you’d like to be?” They’re almost always anyone you describe that you admire is someone who’s exhibiting attributes that you aspire for. And, all of a sudden, you ask this of a board member or your boss or someone that you can’t maybe say, “Could we sit down and have a deeper conversation about what drives you?” It’s like, “No, you’re not going to get that option.”

But if you ask who they admire, and really lean into it, people love talking about that person. And if you’re listening deeply, you’re going to find out that, “Wow, my boss really, okay, she really admires grit. She really admires the hours that I put in, maybe kind of even more than something else that I thought she needed.”

So, the people we admire is a metaphor for the goals and aspirations of the person you’re asking, which is something that we learned from our prior research. And it’s certainly true for great CEOs who go from having one boss, a supervisor, to 12 bosses, the board. And so, they have to do that with everyone, “Who do you admire? What’s driving you? What are you looking for in my job?” And those are the ones that get the job and keep it.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, thank you. Okay. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Mark Thompson
“You’ve got to be the change that you wish to see.” Often, that’s attributed to Gandhi. I don’t think that’s actually a precise quote from him. But to role-model what we’re seeking or hoping is a very hard and high standard to hold yourself to. And yet that’s what really is the most convincing.

If you’re going to be in a position, in a role right now, where you’re asking people to do things, well, how are we showing up that represents that so that ends up being a reinforcement, not hypocrisy? So, that’s one, I think, that’s very powerful in leadership.

Pete Mockaitis
And can you share a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Mark Thompson
Yes, we did a study on one of the most surprising attributes of who you can stand to work with. And many situations in which people work, collaboration is really, really hard. And one of the studies that was conducted by Bonita Thompson, actually at Vanderbilt, who owns the construct in collaboration, found out that you can actually work with someone you don’t like, but you can’t work for somebody you don’t trust, and there’s miles difference between the two.

Because there’s plenty of times where we’re working with people that we don’t exactly feel great about being with. You can’t always like everyone all the time. But if you feel like you’re in a situation where there isn’t that bridge of trust, that there isn’t kind of at least a mutually held trust that we’re both sharing the same goal, that’s an absolute game changer in terms of demotivating folks to work together.

I think a lot of folks find that surprising. It’s like, “Really? You can work for somebody that you don’t like?” I think that’s really important to understand, because the circumstances of work today are certainly stressful enough that that can often be the case.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. And a favorite book?

Mark Thompson
My favorite book was Contact, actually.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, about the aliens?

Mark Thompson
Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s fun. So, I was like, “So, is that about networking or building relationships?” “Oh, no, that’s the alien movie.”

Mark Thompson
I knew you wouldn’t see that coming. I thought it would be obvious or not be obvious. What’s interesting about that one is, actually, there actually is a way to segue anything back to the dialogue of leadership, right?

Because we talk about wanting innovation, we talk about wanting to have out-of-the-box thinking, and I think often the reason most organizations and most of us actually have a hard time innovating is because it feels a little bit like you’re talking about little green men or something that is not relevant, and so we instantly reject it.

And we don’t see what, you know, if we dig a little deeper, while we’re hoping for creative change, we’re hoping for innovation, sometimes, you know, once we hear it, we reject it so soundly that we never do advance. And I see a lot of organizations lose their way because they don’t take a little bit more of a Star Trek approach to saying, “Okay, it’s not here in the known universe or in physics, but if we really want to innovate, if we really want to be creative with something, we start there.”

My most actionable fun book on this topic, it was Creativity, Inc., where the folks at Pixar talked about making billion-dollar bets on movies. I mean, that’s the riskiest thing. And they always started there. They always said, “Okay, we’re going to hold our brainstorming sessions in three rooms. And the first room is going to be the one where “no holds barred” on the creativity.” So as crazy as it could be.

There’s nobody shooting anything down there, and they capture all that. It’s not until the next session in the next room that they start to curate, “Okay, so how do these ideas fit with what we’re good at doing and what we have the talent here to do, and that we think that we could accomplish in the time that we have?” And then you start to winnow it down to those framings.

And it’s not till a third meeting where you’re saying, “We’re not doing that. We’re not doing that.
We’re not doing that. We’re just doing this. We’re just doing this,” and they start to winnow it down. I think we close too early on our brainstorming sessions. And do that with your career. Think about kind of what would be the boldest thing you could do in the new year and how you might go about it.

The critics aren’t invited to that first meeting. It’s really more about you continue to imagine, because the self-critique and the critique by others doesn’t usually get you to first base or even second base. So, let yourself go nuts about the year that’s coming forward, and then think about then how to get a little more practical about how to operationalize that in the context of a real life, and then set it into goals going forward.

And that’s how I’ve found the highest achievers, those who become CEO-ready or ready for the next gig, kind of, are able to open their heart and mind and start to really put a plan together, because you deserve that. You really do deserve that if you aspire to be ready.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Mark Thompson
The tool that I use to be the most awesome thing in my job was the 360. Get one, have one, be a part of it, make sure that you get the regular feedback in all directions. I always had to breathe deeply to realize that maybe not all the feedback I got would be ideal. And it’s always been an unlock. It’s always been an accelerator. It’s always been something that allows me to kind of get better faster than anyone else when I was wanting to be promoted so I could get noticed.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite habit?

Mark Thompson

The habit is gratitude. It’s not something that we naturally, or at least I naturally, leap to every day. Be grateful for the people and the opportunities you have. Actually, Hubert Joly, going back to the Best Buy story, he said, “Pressure is a privilege.” If you have the pressure of doing something really hard, that’s also an opportunity to be kind of grateful for that, “Well, I’m getting a chance to do this. It’s hard. It’s really challenging, but I get a chance to really make a difference.”

Pete Mockaitis
And is there a key nugget you share that people quote often and you’re known for?

Mark Thompson
What I’m known for is you can’t really scale your organization or scale your ambitions any faster than you can scale yourself. You’ve got to be able to invest in a way, in yourself, before you can expect it ever to be an outcome in that wonderful, cool company of yours.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, that’s good. And, Mark, if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Mark Thompson
I’d point them to ChiefExecutiveAlliance.com or just look up CEO Ready, which is just being released.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Mark Thompson
I think that you deserve a promotion in this next year. Map a plan. Think about that as strategically as your biggest project and get some loving critics around you. Get some feedback, and most of that from your boss, and then put it in motion. That’s what you deserve.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Mark, thank you.

Mark Thompson
Thank you.

1114: How to Achieve Authentic Thriving with Jon Rosemberg

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Jon Rosemberg discusses how to break free from limiting beliefs and reclaim control over your life.

You’ll Learn

  1. The difference between succeeding and thriving
  2. How to shift out of survival mode with A.I.R.
  3. How to spot and challenge limiting beliefs

About Jon

With over two decades coaching Fortune 500 executives and global teams through deep transformations, Jon Rosemberg has learned firsthand that growth begins when we courageously reclaim our agency. His personal journey, forged by immigration, loss, and career reinvention, inspires him to blend hard-won business insight with cutting-edge research to guide others toward greater meaning. Driven by his belief in human potential, Jon co-founded Anther, a firm dedicated to transforming uncertainty into possibility. He previously led high-impact initiatives at Walmart, Procter & Gamble, Indigo, and GoBolt.

Jon holds an MBA from Cornell University and a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where he serves as an assistant instructor. Originally from Caracas, Venezuela, he now lives in Toronto with his wife, Adriana, and their two sons.

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Jon Rosemberg Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Jon, welcome!

Jon Rosemberg
Hi, Pete, it’s good to be here.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’m excited to talk about thriving. You got a whole guide to thriving, so let’s discuss that exactly. But first, could you maybe contrast? You talk about thriving versus survival mode. Could you paint a little bit of a picture of what each feels like in practice?

Jon Rosemberg
For sure. And, Pete, have you ever felt like you’re in survival mode?

Pete Mockaitis
I think the answer is yes.

Jon Rosemberg
Yes. And what does that feel like?

Pete Mockaitis
Well, it’s not pleasant, you know? It’s sort of like I’m just trying to get through the day, and the responsibilities, and the stuff, and the calendar, and the to-do list. It’s a little bit harried, hurried, rushed, stressed, maybe elevated heart rate and more.

Jon Rosemberg
That’s a beautiful definition of survival mode. And what I especially loved about your definition was that initial exhale, the “Ahh!” So, yes, that is survival mode. And survival mode, evolutionarily speaking, is a highly adaptive mode to be in.

A few thousand years ago, if you were in the savannah and you heard, you know, like a rustle in the bushes, going into survival mode was really helpful because it allows us to focus all of our energy on what we need to do to survive. And it can be really, really helpful.

However, today, most of the challenges and threats that we face are not physical, they are psychological. So, survival mode sometimes gets triggered in moments that may not necessarily be the most helpful.

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. And that picture is nice. I just recently saw a Kurzgesagt video, they have these amazing animations, all about stress and it painted that very picture in terms of, you know, a beast in the wilderness and what that’s like. And so, I’ve heard that kind of a storyline, if you will, before about, “Oh, in the ancient times, this is very helpful, and now it’s almost counterproductive for us.”

But I’m wondering, you know, we feel what we feel. Jon, to what extent do we even have control over that? I mean, stuff happens. Emotions, reactions naturally flow from those things. So, to what extent can we have mastery versus we are a victim of these circumstances?

Jon Rosemberg
I love that question because it goes exactly to the heart of the book. The capacity to make intentional choices, which I call in the book agency, that realization that even in the most-dire of circumstances, we still have a choice, is the foundation for going from survival mode to thriving.

What is thriving? Most people think that thriving equals success. So, I’m going to say this very clearly. Thriving is not success. How do we measure success? We measure it with money, power, and reputation. These are three things that if you see somebody who’s got a lot of them, you say this is a successful person, right?

Thriving, on the other hand, it’s about agency, so the capacity to make intentional choices. It’s about belonging, i.e., being able to connect, to have meaningful social connections with other people. And it’s about meaning. It’s about seeing something in life that gives you a sense that your life matters, and that the people around you matter, and the way you navigate this world matters. So, it’s slightly different.

Now, I want to be very clear. I’m not arguing against success, because I think success is very helpful and very useful. And, by the way, I want success just as much as the next guy. What I’m suggesting here is that, maybe there’s a bit more of a balance that we can have between what success is and what thriving is. And that, in that balance, in that nuance, there may be a lot of well-being for all of us.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, that sounds pleasant. Could you perhaps share some studies, research, or case studies associated with folks who made the leap from frequently being in a survival mode to doing the thrive thing regularly?

Jon Rosemberg
So, last year, there was a study published at Oxford that studied, I think it was 1,200 companies. And what they wanted to understand was the correlation between the well-being of employees, i.e., thriving, and stock market performance, the value of the company. And what they discovered is that the top 100 companies that had the highest levels of well-being outperformed the S&P 500 by 11% on average.

That’s a really compelling business case for anybody to say, “My business is going to outperform the S&P because, partly, it’s one of the variables,” and I’m implying causality now. This is just a correlational study, but I think it’s still a very compelling data point.

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly, I could see you might argue it both ways, “Well, yeah, well, it’s easy for them because they have so much ample cash flow and appreciation, etc. They can afford to invest in their employees.” But I suppose it is also the case that there are large flourishing companies that are big in revenue and profit, and yet are low on thriving, and could see all the more goodness with more thriving. Can you paint a chain for how more thriving means more profit?

Jon Rosemberg
Exactly. Well, what we know is that when we’re thriving, we can lean into our agency. So, this capacity to make intentional choices. And thriving usually means that we’re in this space where we’re calm and we can think more clearly. And that drives innovation. And we know that innovation is a great way to create value.

It also drives better social connection and stronger social connection. And it’s interesting because, Pete, if there was a medicine out there that increased your survival rate by 50%, decreased your risk of cardiovascular disease by 29%, decreased your risk of stroke by 32%, decreased depression and increased your well-being, if there was a drug that did all of those things for you, would you take it?

Pete Mockaitis
Sounds good, sure. It could have side effects, but looking good, yeah.

Jon Rosemberg
No side effects. The drug is social connection. So, when we are thriving, we are more capable of connecting with other folks. And that social connection is what creates great organizations. You know, what I learned, I spent over two and a half decades in the business world, climbing the corporate ladder as fast as I could.

And one of the things that I learned too late in my career, I might say, is that there are two types of value that you create at work. One of them is productive value. So, this is how good you are at your job. Can you create an Excel spreadsheet that beats everybody else? Or, today, can you work with AI better than everybody else? Can you create a project plan? Can you deliver a project on time and on budget? All of these things are productive value.

The other value that sometimes gets really overlooked, especially for folks that are getting into leadership positions, is relational value, is the ability to create those relationships and those connections that allow big groups of people to work together and do really amazing things together.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, that sounds super. Can you share, when it comes to social connection, what’s the state of play with regard to humans, professionals, workers, and social connection?

Jon Rosemberg
Well, Surgeon General for the US, Vivek Murthy, published a report a couple of years ago where he spoke about, or he described the loneliness epidemic. We know that there’s people more lonely today than ever before.

And if you think about this, Pete, today, somebody who’s 18, 20 years old can get a job, and they can rent their apartment. And if they don’t want to, they don’t have to see anybody else for the rest of their lives, right? You could order food in, you could get everything that you need delivered to your doorstep, you get a paycheck working remotely.

So, technology has given us a lot of advantages, but it has also created certain gaps in places where we, otherwise, had to interact with people. So, there is a loneliness epidemic out there. And one of the ideas that I present in the book is this notion that when we’re thriving, it’s easier to connect with others. And when we connect with others, that has a ripple effect.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, so the social connection contributes to thriving, and the thriving contributes to social connection.

Jon Rosemberg
You got it. Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
Kind of like a circular, I guess, virtuous cycle up, or a doom cycle down.

Jon Rosemberg
I love that you just use that, Pete, because that’s exactly how I describe it in the book, as a spiral. There’s a spiral from survival mode to thriving. And sometimes we’re up and sometimes we’re down. And I think one point that you made at the beginning of our conversation, which is that, sometimes, external circumstances are outside our control. And that happens often, right?

We get laid off or we get fired from a job or, you know, a disease, we get sick. Like, there are many things that happen. What I’m trying to suggest here is that even in the worst of circumstances, and by the way, one of my teachers, I would call him, is Viktor Frankl, who wrote a great book called Man’s Search for Meaning, and Viktor Frankl was in concentration camps in Nazi Germany.

And it was him who argued in that book that even within all that suffering, he discovered a place where he could choose his attitude. And what he noticed was that the people who survived that horrible situation were those who could find meaning in their suffering and were those who could see a different perspective of what they were experiencing. Not the strongest ones, not the ones who had the most muscle, the ones who were taller or bigger, the ones who had more money. It was the people who found meaning.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes, and fun fact, I believe Man’s Search for Meaning is, when I ask about favorite things, comes up the most often as favorite book, favorite quote. So, it’s a powerful book and a beautiful one. And so, in practice, let’s say stuff happens and we’re freaking out, what do we do in the moment?

Jon Rosemberg
So, I went deep into the research and tried to understand, “How do we create more agency? If agency is the capacity to make intentional choices, supported by the belief that those choices matter and have an impact on the world, how do we increase that?”

And as I reviewed the research and I reviewed all the fantastic work that has been done by scientists over the past two and a half decades, because this is a relatively new topic, this topic of thriving, in science, I mean, philosophers have been talking about it for thousands of years. So, there were three things that came up that seemed really, really important. And I summarized them in an acronym, AIR.

And AIR stands for A for awareness, I for inquiry, and R for reframing. And when we are faced with a difficult situation or a difficult emotion or a negative thought, using AIR as a practice, can be a really powerful way to develop the skill that is agency and go a little bit more from survival mode into thriving.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, awareness, inquiry, reframing. Could you share with us, what that can look like in practice?

Jon Rosemberg

Of course. So, my youngest son, who’s nine, went to summer camp earlier this year. But three days before going to summer camp, he broke his arm and he had a cast all the way up to his shoulder. So, while his friends were jumping in the lake, he was playing with a Rubik’s Cube. And I’m going to try and use this Rubik’s Cube to explain a little bit how AIR works.

So, when we’re going through a difficult moment, it feels like the Rubik’s Cube is right next to our face, right next to our eye, and we can only see one of the little squares, right? You’ve probably heard people say, “I feel like I’m seeing red, right?” Like, we’re actually just seeing one color, one square of the Rubik’s Cube.

What awareness does is it allows us to create some distance from the situation. It allows us to actually notice that, “Hmm, okay, what’s happening here is not just red. Red is actually just one square amongst nine other squares. And if I actually start kind of looking at the Rubik’s Cube, I can see that it has six sides and each side has nine squares. So now I have a lot more information.” That’s what awareness does for us.

Then we go into inquiry. And inquiry is actually getting to understand what the situation looks like. And that’s asking a lot of non-judgmental, curious questions about the situation. And that means, basically, it’s like playing around with the Rubik’s Cube, just figuring out the different formulas and the different combinations that you can see in a Rubik’s Cube.

And reframing is when you find a combination that works for you. And that might be solving the Rubik’s Cube or it might be something different, but it’s a combination that works for you in the moment. So that’s a short, brief description of how AIR works.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, so understood, with the Rubik’s Cube analogy, you can visualize that and notice that you could be way zoomed in and that’s not so helpful. Could you walk us through that as applied to a situation?

Jon Rosemberg
So, after two and a half decades in the corporate world, I decided to go into a startup, and we did great. We raised a Series B of $150 million. The company was growing at double digits every month. We were, as the kids would say, crushing it. And as we raised this money, I flew to LA to buy some new facilities because we were expanding the business to LA.

And when I flew back, I got hit with COVID and I was on a call with the technical team about some sort of technical stuff, and the call got really heated up and I was deep, deep into survival mode.

Pete Mockaitis
Heated up, tell me more, Jon. Were they pointing the finger at you?

Jon Rosemberg
They were pointing the finger, or at least that’s how I interpreted it in the moment. That was the interpretation. I was so close to the situation, I was seeing red. So, what I did is I shut off my laptop and turned off my phone. And in that moment, I was able to gain some awareness. I got some distance from the situation and I said, “Goodness gracious, am I angry right now?” I noticed the heat rising in my body, my chest got tight, my breathing got shallow, my shoulders got really tense.

So, I heard my kids playing in the basement, and I went downstairs to the basement and they were sitting on the floor playing with Legos. So, I sat on the floor with them and I started playing with them for about an hour. And as I was doing that, I started, well, number one, I was present with them. I was able to actually sit with them and share with them, which is something that I hadn’t done for months.

So, that experience, to me, it allowed me to find a little bit of thriving in that deep, deep state of survival mode. After that, I went and sat on my chair and I started reflecting in one of my favorite chairs, and I started reflecting on the situation. And the reframing for me was, in that moment, it was, I had two kids because I wanted to be a dad, and I’m not actually being a dad. I’m present, like they see me at breakfast, they see me at dinner, but I’m not physically present, but I’m not present with them. And that was really, really challenging.

So, Adriana walked in, my wife, and she said, “So, are you okay?” And I said, “I’m done, I think I’m done.” And within two weeks, I decided to unwind myself from that job and to walk away. So, my reframe in that moment was seeing the other option that I hadn’t seen before. Because for the longest time as I was working, I said, “If I quit this job, I’ll be living under a bridge in two weeks.” And that felt very real to me.

In that moment, I realized, “Well, what’s the point of all of this that I’m doing if I cannot be present for the people that I love and that I want to be with?”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, the awareness of, “Hey, I’m getting really angry. It might be wise to go do something else.” And then you’re inquiring, asking those questions and then reframing the prior belief that you had, and sort of seeing new things come from it. Understood.

What’s interesting with regard to the inquiry, can you share a few more of those specific questions? Like, “What’s the point of this?” What are some more questions you were inquiring there?

Jon Rosemberg
Yeah, so, “What are my options right now? What’s important to me? What are my values? What is it that I want to do with my life? What does this look like for me if I continue down this path for the next two years, three years, five years? How is this impacting my health? How is this impacting my relationships? How is this impacting my sleep?”

So, all of these questions, asked in a non-judgmental way, and what I mean by that is that we have to actually be curious about it. Because if I’m asking a question and I already have the answer, it’s not really a question, is it? So, we want to challenge ourselves to do this.

Now in that moment, it was a process that I did internally as a result of burnout and a very difficult experience. But in day-to-day life, we can do this in partnership with other people, with our friends, with a coach, with whatever it is that people that are around us, some people do journaling. This exploration can be a really powerful way to get to know ourselves better and then to make decisions that are more agentic.

Pete Mockaitis

And I like what you had to say about the genuine curiosity because I think it’s quite possible in that state, some of your questions can sound like, “What’s their problem? Why do I always have to deal with this bull crap? Why is this happening to me?” etc. Like, any number of questions that are not guided by a wholesome curiosity, but rather just stoke the rage beast.

Jon Rosemberg
You got it. And often, we tend to focus on things that are outside our locus of control. Instead of focusing on what we can change on what’s under our capacity to influence, we focus on what everybody else is doing. And, unfortunately, it’s really hard to change other people. Trust me, I’ve tried for many years and it’s very difficult to change other people. But we do have the prerogative to change ourselves and to grow in the way that feels most authentic to us.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, could you give us another example of awareness, inquiry, and reframing in action that don’t result in a full exit, but rather being able to better deal with a current situation?

Jon Rosemberg
Yeah, what I love most about that question, Pete, is that you are hitting the nail on the head on the spectrum of agency, right? So, very low agency would be, “I have no choice here.” And if there is a moment in your life where you say, “I have no choice here,” number one, you are likely in survival mode. And, number two, there’s an open door there to practice AIR, to practice awareness, inquiry, and reframing.

Then if we go a little bit higher on the spectrum of agency, you could say, “Well, I can stay or I can leave, right? So, I only have two choices here. I either have to walk away or I can stay in my job.” If you had really high agency, once we’ve really developed agency, then you start seeing, instead of black and white, you start seeing a rainbow of options and opportunities in front of you.

So, you could say, “Well, I could stay and modify my job, change my hours, go to part-time, change my boss, move to a different division, whatever that looks like. Or, I could leave and go to another job or rest or, you know, paint for, I don’t know, whatever it is.”

And I understand that for a lot of people, there’s actually not a choice available to them, right? Because if you have to pay the rent and you are living paycheck to paycheck, this doesn’t necessarily happen. And this is why the developing agency in the moment is so important.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes. Whenever I hear the phrase, “I have to,” or, “I can’t,” I get skeptical. And so, you know, and maybe I am on the autistic spectrum and I take things super literally at times. But I think, “Is that really true?” And I’m thinking about the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.

Jon Rosemberg
Marshall Rosenberg. Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
And he really brings up some points, like even if you think you’re stuck, it’s kind of wild what you can do. And he gives an example of, he thought, “Well, I have to keep…” He said, “I don’t like paying taxes because they’re supporting…” at the time, I think, the Vietnam War. And he was against the war. And he said, “Well, I guess I have to pay taxes because, you know, I mean, that’s the law and I’m a citizen.”

And he said, “Well, you know what? I suppose if I didn’t have income, I wouldn’t have to pay taxes.” And so, he made some dramatic changes. And then he also challenges teachers who say, “Well, I have to do all this frequent testing of the students because it’s required by the district, and that’s just a part of my job.” And he’s like, “Well, you also have the option of changing your job.”

So, it’s a more accurate framing of the situation is, “I need to do this testing for my students frequently if I want to retain my job and my income here. So that is my choice. Do I choose to play the game and maintain my job and my income here? Or do I choose something else? Well, I guess I am going to keep my job here.” But even working through that process contributes to more of the thriving feelings.

Jon Rosemberg
Absolutely. And I love so much that you brought up Marshall Rosenberg, because I think this is exactly what he’s arguing for in these examples, is this idea of reframing, changing the framing of the situation. And we get to do that. And one of the important concepts here is that we tend to buy into these absolute truths, right, that something has to be true.

And one of the interesting things in science that I don’t think has become as widely popular as it should be, is that science thrives on dissent. It thrives on challenging. If you’re a scientist that agrees with all of his, hers, their peers, you are highly unlikely to succeed. The whole point is that we want this type of creative dissent.

So, when somebody presents you with a premise, is there an opportunity to do a lot of inquiry and challenge that premise and figure out if it’s really true? So, one good example that has worked really well is a lot of people say, “Well, but two plus two is four.” Well, but two plus two is not always four, right? There’s an axiom that tells us that the first number is zero, and then you add one and it’s one and then two and then three and then four. That’s the axiom that we, a lot of us do math with or arithmetic.

But if you’re looking at a clock, right, after 23:00, so if you say 23 plus two, it’s not 25, it’s one, right? So, it’s a different axiom that we’re using. So, what I’m trying to present here is that we get to challenge the things that we believe to be true. And this is a uniquely human capacity and it’s incredibly powerful.

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. And then, you get me thinking in terms of, well, if our objective is to get to four, there’s many ways that we might achieve the getting to four. And perhaps addition is not even the operation that we’re after in a given situation.

Jon Rosemberg
You got it. So, we can come at things from different angles once we have awareness. Once we move that Rubik’s Cube a little bit away from our face, we can actually start exploring all of the angles. And it’s a practice, right? It sounds easy when I say awareness, inquiry, and reframing, right? It sounds so simple. But many of us spend years, if not decades, trying to bring more awareness to our lives.

So, mindfulness is something that can work to bring more awareness, and a mindfulness practice, being able to be present in the moment. Those are some of the things that we can do in order to hone our skill of awareness. And then inquiry, learning to ask good questions, that’s a difficult skill. That requires a lot of practice, right? And then reframing is actually seeing different angles. And all of those things require, they’re like a muscle, right? And if we go to the gym to get buff, we can practice this to gain more agency.

Pete Mockaitis
And one place you advocate practicing this is by examining our beliefs and seeing if there’s some limiting beliefs. Can you expand on this?

Jon Rosemberg
Yeah, so beliefs are like lenses that we have over our eyes, and they kind of filter the world for us, right? There’s lots of evidence to suggest that beliefs are so powerful that they can even change the way in which we react to pain.

For example, the placebo effect, and this has been documented many, many times that when you’re in pain, you can take a placebo, and they tell you that it’s pain medication and your pain actually decreases. So, our beliefs are very, very powerful filters with which we navigate the world.

One of the things in the work that I do coaching clients is trying to name the belief, right? So, in my case, I said, “I believe that if I walk away from this job, I’m going to be living under a bridge in less than two weeks and I’m not going to be able to pay my mortgage, etc.” I had to challenge that belief and say, “Well, is that actually true? Or, is there a different way to look at this belief?”

And I said, “Well, I have friends, I have a family, I have a social support network, I know people will help me out if I can’t have income, I have some money in the bank, or I can move to a smaller place.” So, there are all of these things. The moment you take that belief and you challenge the belief, then you can step into a world of options. Then you step into that rainbow of options as opposed to seeing the world in just white, just black, or black and white only.

Pete Mockaitis
I like that a lot. Can you give us an example of some other limiting beliefs that you’ve seen folks successfully challenge and have great results on the other side?

Jon Rosemberg
I think the toughest belief to challenge, and I struggle with this every day, and I think it’s one of the big reasons why I wrote the book, and it’s a true line in the book, is the belief that, “I am not good enough.” The flip side of that is the belief that I have to prove myself.

Because we live in this system where productivity defines value, productivity equals value, I’ve asked dozens of clients the question, “What would your value be if suddenly you could not produce anymore?” And people are stumped. It’s really hard to respond to that question, “What happens if I can’t produce?” “Well, I could still talk my way through something, or whatever it is,” but you cannot produce.

So, challenging the belief that our worth is tied to our productivity is very liberating work, and it’s very challenging work, because this is a deeply ingrained belief.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so walk us through the process of that challenging and what might come out the other side.

Jon Rosemberg
I think it’s sitting with it. The first thing that we do is creating awareness, naming it, “Is this a belief that you’re buying into? Do you buy into the belief that if you don’t produce, you’re not good enough?” Pause for a second and just notice, “Is this something that sounds true to you? If it does, then get really curious about it.”

So, “Where does this belief come from? Whose voice do I hear in my head when I say that I believe this? What has this belief, how has it served me in my life? What has it done for me?” In my case, that belief allowed me to climb the corporate ladder ruthlessly for decades, right? So, it served me really well in many, many ways.

And, eventually, I came to the reframing of saying, “There’s fundamental value in just existing in just being a human. We are a wonder of nature.” Think about it. You know, earth has been around for what? Four billion years? And we’re here, you and I, Pete, having this conversation. That in itself, it’s a miracle. We’re sitting in this, you know, one galaxy out of, I think, there’s like two trillion of them in the universe, and this universe continues to expand. So, it’s really magical the fact that we exist.

So, is that fundamental value? And what challenging that belief did for me was allow me to give myself the space, for example, to end up thinking about the ideas that, eventually, I decided that I wanted to put into a book. So, I started to question. It’s existentialism. You start questioning why we’re here and what does that mean?

Pete Mockaitis
Well, it is a powerful belief to look at directly, and we covered this on episode 500 with Victor Cheng, talking about Building Unshakable Confidence, and having the belief that I am valuable or worthwhile simply because I exist. And you could see that in wisdom traditions, or religion, Christianity being made in the image and likeness of God, or the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

It’s interesting because it’s an idea that I purport to believe, and I like to believe it on my best days, and yet I do feel some discomfort. If I imagine a universe in which I am, say, in a vegetative state at a hospital, I am existing, but I am not doing or “adding value,” I sometimes think, “Well, yes, I value just because I’m existent, I am a human being.”

And other times it doesn’t feel that way, that the belief doesn’t feel true. So, yeah, no pressure, Jon, but how do we deal with that one?

Jon Rosemberg
I don’t know. I don’t know. This is a profound existential question that you’re asking, Pete. And I think the exercise of just questioning it is a pathway to thriving. Just being able, for a moment, to hold that notion that you have fundamental value just by existing, and just believing that 0.00001% in your life, I think that in itself, it’s a gift.

Listen, Pete, I struggle with it every day. You know, I’ve been doing this work, I went back to school and learned psychology so I could challenge that belief. I’ve read lots of papers and lots of books trying to challenge this belief, and I don’t have a clear answer. I don’t think there’s a recipe.

I actually, as a matter of fact, what I would suggest, and this is one of the things that I did in the book, and it was hard for me to find a publisher because a lot of the publishers kept telling me, “Jon, you have to be more prescriptive. People want to know exactly what they need to do.”

And I kept saying, “Well, I’m writing about agency. If I’m telling people that the whole point is that you learn what’s right for you and that you have to develop or you can develop, you don’t have to do anything, but you can develop this muscle that gives you access to thriving in your life, how am I going to sit there and tell you exactly how you do it?” I don’t have a recipe for it. I think we each have to find our own way through.

Pete Mockaitis
And it’s funny, where my brain is going is thinking that I have value just by existing even in that, you know, comatose state, because by providing an opportunity for others to be of service and reflect upon their gifts, their blessings, their capabilities that is of value and beneficial. And yet, I could see I’m already drifting into territories, like, “Well, then that’s not intrinsic.” It’s like, “It’s what I’m doing for other people by doing nothing.”

Jon Rosemberg
Exactly. Yeah, it’s a tough idea to grasp, especially because the system where we are living is built on this belief of productivity equals value, right? So, it’s really hard to think outside of that unless, you know, maybe we go to meditate in some mountain for 20 years, maybe we can access that. That’s not my choice.

Agentically speaking, that’s not something that I want to do, and I do want to be able to sit there sometimes with the discomfort of feeling like I’m not good enough or that I have to prove myself. And as I’m sitting with that discomfort, having a small window where I can challenge it, and I can say, “Well, maybe I do have fundamental value. Maybe I do have intrinsic value just for existing.” And that in itself can be quite comforting. At least it has been for me. And also, anxiety-inducing.

Pete Mockaitis
One perspective I like to bring to this is, as I think about my children when I watch them sleep, they’re beautiful, adorable, I love them, and they are doing nothing there, but I am not disappointed with them. I don’t want or demand or need them to be doing anything. Them just existing in that space, I find valuable and beautiful and excellent and full of love, with them doing nothing at all. They are just existing.

Jon Rosemberg
What a beautiful and powerful reflection, Pete. And I think that the emotion and the moment in which we experience that type of connection that you’re describing that you have with your kids, that’s thriving.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, cool, yeah. So, more of that would be great.

Jon Rosemberg

Oh, goodness. It’s not easy, right? It requires effort because we are designed for survival. Our bodies and our brains are designed for survival, right? There’s this evolutionary mismatch that has occurred where technology has taken us to this point where we have, listen, by all measures, we are living in the golden age of humanity.

And I know we see different things on social media. We see different things in the news. But if you look at access to water, access to food, access to education, access to healthcare. Longevity, Pete, 100 years ago, you and I would be buried six feet underground, because the life expectancy, well, I’m not sure how old you are, but life expectancy was 32. Today, it’s more than double that, right?

So, we are in this golden age of humanity. And for some reason, anxiety and depression seem to be one of those persistent things that we don’t understand what is happening. And one of the explanations that seems to make a lot of sense is that our brains and our bodies have not evolved to keep up with the world that we’re living in today.

So, what I’m suggesting is that agency may be one of the antidotes to this experience that we’re having as humans living in this age.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Well, that’s big stuff, and you can sit with it for a while. And I think the word value is key there. And so, in terms of economic value, I say it may be true, you know, that if we’re not doing anything, we are not producing, you know, money, dollars, economic value, but in a deeper sense, our human value remains.

Jon Rosemberg
Exactly. And, you know, why do we see so many people who have supposedly made it, billionaires, trillionaires now, we’re going to start having trillionaires soon, why do we see so many people who have access, economically speaking, to all of the resources? I mean, the wealth distribution gap has never been larger in humanity either. So, why do we see people who have all of this and still struggle to thrive?

And we see it in the way they communicate. We see it in the way in which they relate to the world. This is a challenging thing to experience. And so, that’s why I want to make sure that we separate the ideas of success and thriving. And I’m sure there’s a Venn diagram where the two overlap, and that’s a happy middle. And that’s what I’m arguing for. For trying to find more moments of thriving, even if it’s at the cost of letting go some of the success, which is the hardest thing to do.

Pete Mockaitis
I like that Venn diagram approach because it also gets you thinking it’s entirely possible to thrive without being successful.

Jon Rosemberg
Yes. Yes. A resounding yes.

Pete Mockaitis
Cool. Well, Jon, we’ve gone into all kinds of profound places. Can you tell me, before I hear about your favorite things, a few of your top tips, your do’s and don’ts for getting more thriving going?

Jon Rosemberg
I would say the first thing is find time for reflection or for a practice that works for you, whatever that is. I tried to meditate for two years. I have a meditation pillow right here in my office, and I sat in that pillow. For two years, I sat on that pillow trying to meditate, and I hated it. My goodness, could I not do it. I just couldn’t do it.

I decided, one day somebody suggested a walking meditation. So, I put on my headphones and I went for a walk and I was like, “Oh, I can do this. This suddenly changed my life.” So, today, I go for even two hour-long walking meditations that I can do with or without headphones, guided or unguided. I had to find the activity that was the right fit for me.

So, a do is, find activities, test many different things, call them little experiments, or however you want to name them, test many different things until you find the one that works for you because there are lot of prescriptions out there that will work for many people. Listen, even cognitive behavior therapy, which is the gold standard for therapy in that world, only benefits about 40%, in the best case, 80% of people. So, it doesn’t mean that it’s for everybody. So, find whatever works for you. That would be the do.

The don’t is just waiting for something magical to happen. We have to use our agency, our capacity as humans to make change happen. It has to come from inside, right? Nobody can make change happen for you. It’s something that we all have to own and take it upon ourselves. And it’s hard and it’s painful. But in my experience, a lot of times the discomfort of staying the same, it’s much worse than the discomfort of changing.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. Well, now could you share with us a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Jon Rosemberg
One of my favorite quotes is from William James, one of the fathers of psychology, and I actually have it here on my wall, and it’s, “My experience is what I agree to attend to.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, you can work on that for a while.

Jon Rosemberg

Yes, attention is a powerful resource and it’s non-renewable for humans. Once we’ve given it, it’s gone. And we have so many things fighting for our attention today. If we can be more agentic as to where we place our attention, that can be a life-changing practice.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah, that’s powerful. What I agree to attend to is, like, we need not attend to necessarily anything just because, “It’s all over Twitter,” “The headlines are saying this,” “My feed, all my recommended YouTube videos.” It’s like, “Yeah, and we always have that choice.” I can choose to attend to that. I can agree or I can disagree to attend to a matter, and we’ve always got the power.

Jon Rosemberg
So, let’s look at the numbers on this just very quickly. Every second, the sensory input that we get, it’s between 10 and 100 million bits of information. Every second. Only about 10 to 50 filter into our conscious awareness. And of those 10 to 50 that filter into our conscious awareness, usually there is a five to one negativity ratio. I mean, that’s the negativity bias that we look for.

You post something on Instagram and you get 20 likes and 300 comments saying, “You’re amazing.” But there’s one comment that’s negative and we will focus on the negative comment, right? That’s the negativity bias at play.

Imagine if we can actually learn how to better manage what we agree to attend to. It’s life-changing because you have 100 million choices, and you only get to do 10 to 50. So that’s a really powerful practice.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite book?

Jon Rosemberg
It’s a book about therapy, actually. Her name is Marsha Linehan, and she created something called dialectical behavior therapy, and she wrote her autobiography. And one of the powerful ideas in that book that really resonated with me is the idea of dialectics, that two things that seem opposing can be true at the same time. And I think that’s a really powerful way to look at the world and to understand complexity.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Jon Rosemberg
You can go to my LinkedIn. I’m very active on LinkedIn, Jon Rosemberg. You can go to my website, JonRosemberg.com, and, yeah, that’s the best way to reach me.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Jon Rosemberg

Yes, take the time to hone in the skill of agency. However, it works for you, just take the time to understand it and to play around with it. It can be life-changing.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Jon, thank you.

Jon Rosemberg
Thank you, Pete. I appreciate it.

1113: How to Make Memorable and Lasting First Impressions with Rebecca Okamoto

By | Podcasts | No Comments

Rebecca Okamoto helps transform your introduction from boring to powerful.

You’ll Learn

  1. How to introduce yourself in 20 words or less
  2. How to project confidence in your introduction–both in person and online
  3. Best practices for crafting great first impressions

About Rebecca

Rebecca Okamoto is a communication and clarity consultant, and the founder of Evoke Strategy Group. She helps people with something to say but struggle to say it. 

Rebecca is on a mission to change the way overlooked and misunderstood voices are seen, heard, recognized and rewarded. She works with professionals to communicate, align and influence senior stakeholders, showcase strategic thinking and explain the commercial value of complicated concepts.

Resources Mentioned

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Rebecca Okamoto Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Rebecca, welcome!

Rebecca Okamoto
Thank you very much, Pete. Super great to be here.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to chat with you. And you have a bit of a claim to fame. You are known as the 20-word person. What on earth does that mean?

Rebecca Okamoto
It means that I teach people how to introduce, market, and promote themselves in 20 words or less.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I didn’t count those words, but it feels like you just did that to us right now.

Rebecca Okamoto
I did. It was less than 20 words. Trust me on that.

Pete Mockaitis
Perfect. Okay. Well, I mean, that sounds catchy. But, Rebecca, tell us why is this an important skill? Why does it matter?

Rebecca Okamoto
Well, I think it matters because we live in a multitasking, attention-deficit, highly-distracted environment right now, and introducing yourself is super important and making a great first impression, I think everyone knows, is important. But in this day and age, it doesn’t matter how smart you are, what a great fit you are, how much value you add, if no one’s paying attention. So, you have to be able to grab people’s attention in as few as 20 words.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And can you maybe tell us a story of what’s the impact of being able to do that versus not do that? Have you seen sort of any cool dramatic before-after transformations when people really master this skill?

Rebecca Okamoto
So I had a client who really struggled with explaining what made her unique. So, the reason why she came to me was to say, “I know people’s eyes are glazing over, I know I’m going into the weeds, and I just can’t explain what makes me unique, and I can’t stop myself.” So, we just worked on how to introduce yourself in 20 words.

So, I don’t know, a couple months later, she writes to me, and she says, “Oh, my gosh, I was at a networking event. Everybody went around the room and introduced themselves. I went the 20-word route.” Afterwards, some CEO comes up to her and says, “Man, you really stood out compared to everybody else. I’d like to talk about opportunities to work together.” Two weeks later, they’re meeting in New York to discuss those opportunities.

So, she went from zero opportunities and people saying no and, “I don’t understand,” to, “My gosh, everybody gets the value.” The thing that she loved was, “People get the story I’m trying to tell.”

Pete Mockaitis
Lovely. Okay. Well, so tell us, can we maybe hear a demonstration of what’s a typical, “Oh, so tell me about yourself,” or, “So, who are you or what are you about?” So, people give you that invitation, the prompt, like, “Do the thing now.” And what’s sort of a typical answer versus an optimized Rebecca-style 20-word or less answer?

Rebecca Okamoto
I think most people try to explain all of their qualifications and experiences, “So, I’m a 20-year supply chain professional, and I worked for Procter & Gamble for 15 of those years. And I worked in Singapore. I worked in New York. I worked in all these different locations. And I managed many, many, many people, and I started a plant.”

So, what people end up doing is they just talk about themselves. And, in my case, when I used to do it, I would go on for like three minutes, thinking that was an optimized pitch.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes, I remember. I remember the corporate days. I’ve been sort of on my own for a long time here, but I recall many meetings where like, “Hey, we’re doing a kickoff. It’s an interdisciplinary team with representatives from different functions and business units, and we’re getting together.” And so, we all go around and say the thing.

I remember finding that so boring, and maybe it’s like, “Oh, maybe I’m just selfish because I don’t care about what these people are saying to me right now.” But, Rebecca, you’re making me feel comforted that it sounds like this is the default way people feel when they hear most people’s introductions.

Rebecca Okamoto
It is. And I used to go, I had large organizations when I worked for a large corporation, and people go around the room like that, and I’d have to say, “Thank you,” because the first person goes on for 10 seconds and the next person does 20, and then 30, and then 50, and then two minutes, and all the time gets sucked up, and I still didn’t know what anybody did.

But if you say something more like, “Well, I help organizations struggling with transformations engage and embrace change with excellence,” so really helping people understand the value that you bring or the difference that you bring.

A really simple example I typically tell people is you’ll say something like, “I’m an award-winning bestselling author,” which is I describe myself. These are my accomplishments. But it leaves the listener to kind of guess, “What does that mean for me?” But if you said, “I help new authors get published faster,” “Oh, I get what you do.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yes.

Rebecca Okamoto
So, the reaction you’re trying to get instantly is someone saying, “Oh, that’s me,” or, “I know someone who needs that.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And as you say these things, I’m thinking, I see a lot of LinkedIn taglines that sound exactly like this. I’m imagining, in an interdisciplinary team assembling kickoff at a corporate environment, if you were to say that in that environment, they might want more. I mean, it’s intriguing.

Rebecca Okamoto
That’s correct.

Pete Mockaitis
But it’s like, “Yeah, okay, but, like, so which department are you with? And what are you doing for us here in this team?” Do you expand upon that and sort of that’s your starter, and then you add in different contexts? Or, what’s the strategy?

Rebecca Okamoto
I think it depends on your environment. So, if you’re in a corporate setting and everyone’s just going around the room and the leader’s just sitting there, you don’t just, it’s just like, it’s just you one way. So, you just give a simple introduction, “So, I’m Rebecca. I’m from the Demand Planning Organization. And I tell stories with data that turn forecasts into actionable, profitable insights.”

So, now they know where you work, your name, and what you can do for them. Instead of, “I have 15 years with Procter & Gamble, and I did demand-planning, but before that I was a market planner. Before that I was in a plant. Before that I was an inventory planner.” That’s what people normally do.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. And I wonder what’s behind that? Maybe just because that’s what we’ve seen. But, in other ways, it’s almost like, “This is my only opportunity.” It’s like a little bit sad in terms of like the human need, you know, for validation, for acknowledgement, for mattering and significance. It’s like, “This is my time that I get to share my career arc, journey, history, because most people don’t want to hear it. But now is my moment.”

Rebecca Okamoto
Yes, or, “I don’t know what else to say. I saw everyone else doing it,” or, you just think, “I’m hoping that you understand that this is impressive and I’m impressing you.” And what you learn, instead of trying to impress people, “I’m smart,” is trying to tell people, “Here’s what I can do for you.” They remember that. It’s like, “Oh, wow, she can help me, like, with insights or with profit.” You want to be remembered for that. Not with, “Well, she worked in a lot of places. She sounds smart.” And then forgettable.

Pete Mockaitis
“I hope you understand that I’m smart. That’s like, ‘I’m kind of a big deal,’” Anchorman style.

Rebecca Okamoto
Yeah, but, you know, I was someone in a corporate career who started off super timid and I longed to be recognized. So, when I had an opportunity, I was just like, “And I worked here and I worked here and I worked here,” and I just assumed they would know that made me valuable. It made me forgettable, unfortunately.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Okay. Well, so now it’s not just a matter of thinking, “Okay, Rebecca said I should do it in 20 words, and word count 18. I guess I’m done.” You actually have a process or a sequence that you walk people through in order to land on a winning 20 words. Can you share that with us?

Rebecca Okamoto
Yeah, I will say the most important thing about your introduction is that you want the person on the other side to visualize that you can do something for them. They’re like, “Oh, my gosh, we were just talking about that,” or, “Oh, I know someone who needs that.” Here’s a framework that I didn’t share, I don’t share a lot, but I tell people, “Just describe your audience really clearly.”

So, for instance, a friend of mine is an excellent executive coach, and she tells people, “I help high-potential leaders who find themselves in high-stress, high-stakes or no-win situations.” And people are like, “Oh!” And then she said the first time she did it, people are like, “Oh, my gosh, you have to meet so and so. She’s in a no-win situation.”

It makes it so clear, you just say, “Here’s who I help.” And if you’re vivid, “I help women over 50 rebrand and relaunch new meaningful careers.” “Oh, I know someone who’s just trying to relaunch their career.”

Pete Mockaitis
You know, Rebecca, what I really love about that is this is clicking for me because I recently listened to Dan Allison. He since moved on to new ventures, but he achieved great renown and fame amongst financial advisors as the guru who told them to crack the referral code, because financial advisors, they always want referrals. And this guy figured out in great detailed studies what leads clients to refer and not refer and some of the key things.

And that was one of the big ah-has, is that, from a financial advisor’s perspective, it’s like, “Who do we help?” It’s like, “Well, anybody who’s got $2 million in investable assets.” It’s like, “But that’s not very helpful in terms of being referable on the client side,” because like, “Well, I don’t know how much assets my brother-in-law has. That feels rude to ask.”

But if you describe that audience very clearly, such as, “I help doctors and lawyers in their 50s figure out how to make their money work for them,” or something like that. It’s like, “Oh, I know a doctor, a lawyer, in his 50s and he actually seemed to have some questions about how to make his money work for him.” So, now all of a sudden, it’s become super-duper clear, “Oh, you two perhaps need to know each other.”

Rebecca Okamoto
Right. I work with a lot of law firms, and some of the law firms are like, “Well, okay,” or they’re lobbyists and they say, “Well, it’s not good to say you’re a lobbyist.” And I said, “Well, can’t you say something like, ‘Well, I help companies who suddenly find themselves on the wrong side of the national conversation’?”

So, like you’re the ship that just ran into the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore, and you suddenly find yourself on the wrong side of that equation, like, “Oh, yeah,” you can describe your audience’s problem. So, that’s one way.

Pete Mockaitis
“I help corporations rewrite the rules so they make more money.” That’s, like, that feels a little off-putting to most. Although if you run a corporation who wants the rules rewritten to make more money, then you would like to be talking to that lobbyist, I guess.

Rebecca Okamoto
Well, I think you want to say it in whatever they’re looking for or saying, but I normally say, “Like, I help my target audience achieve a benefit they desire.” That’s the easiest one. “And the benefit they desire is something that they say they want. So, I help worried job hunters confidently explain why they’re the ideal candidate to hire.”

So, I interviewed a lot of, when I started my career, like job hunters, and they always use the word worried, confident, not confident, and struggle. So, I decided, “I help worried job hunters confidently explain why they’re the ideal candidate to hire.” And people are like, “Oh, my sister is really struggling,” “Oh, my kid is really struggling.” They can identify. So, that’s a really effective way of introducing yourself.

Pete Mockaitis
It is really good. It reminds me of some kind of basic core principles associated with copywriting, is that, ideally, if you know the words people use, when you speak them, it’s like, “Oh, this guy is for me. That’s how I think about it. That’s what I’m looking for.” Even though you might use perfectly valid synonyms, but it’s like, “Well, that’s not what I…and I’m not sure if that’s for me or not.”

Like, I remember, one time I was doing a lot of Myers-Briggs trainings, and so, you know, I could call myself an MBTI practitioner because that’s what we call ourselves when we get certified. But most folks are just like, “Oh, what I want is someone to do a Myers-Briggs workshop for me.” It’s like, “Oh, well, I do Myers-Briggs workshops. So, then we got to talk.”

Rebecca Okamoto
Right, exactly. So, then if you’re talking to your peers, it’s different than talking to your executive, for instance. And when you’re pitching to them, you’re talking about, “What I can do to help you with your margin improvement.” But you might be telling your boss, “I can save you money.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that’s a good thought.

Rebecca Okamoto
So, your introduction changes depending on your audience and what they say.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, Rebecca, you make it sound so quick and easy. Is it so quick and easy or is there a bit more of a deep research process underlying the landing on these up to 20 words?

Rebecca Okamoto
It’s quick and easy now, but I will say that when I started, funny you should say copywriting, because I am obsessed. I’m not a copywriter. I’m a mechanical engineer.

But engineers like to figure out how things go together and I’m obsessed with the concept of copywriting. Because to me, they had to be persuasive with words. And how do you give a headline that grabs someone’s attention to get someone to want to click? So, I learned about persuasion is a journey and it’s about getting someone to want to know more. That’s how I designed my frameworks.

And then I always thought, “Well, what if you don’t have work experience? What if you’re my nephew and he’s just starting off work, and he doesn’t say, like, ‘I’ve done all these things and I can tell stories with data,’ what should he say?” And I go, “Maybe you should use your passion or your mission or your strengths.” But it’s all about getting someone to say, “Oh, tell me more.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. I like these rules of thumb. So, we want them to say, “Oh, tell me more.”

Rebecca Okamoto

Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
Super. So, we want to clearly describe, “I help target audience get the outcome they want.” Any other rules of thumb or things you have in mind as you’re crafting these?

Rebecca Okamoto
Yeah, I would say think about your introduction answering the question, “What do you do? And how does it help me?” So, “I help my target audience achieve a benefit they desire.” Because a lot of people say, well, 20 words, they completely miss any of my frameworks, and they’re like, “Ask me to find your purple unicorn.” “What? What’s a purple unicorn? Like, why am I asking you that?”

Because they think it’s most important to think to be clever, “I’m a process architect and I help calm chaos and spread glitter.” And I’m like, “You spread glitter? I’m sorry, why do you spread glitter?”

Pete Mockaitis
“I got to clean that up! That’s going to be a hassle. I don’t want you to spread glitter.”

Rebecca Okamoto

But they’re trying to be clever. So, it’s like, “What do you do and how do you help me?” And I’m pretty sure people are not looking for some, “Well, in the context of process engineers spreading glitter.” So that’s the other thing to think about is be clear. You don’t have to be clever.

Pete Mockaitis
“You spread glitter in our manufacturing plant that’s going to be…”

Rebecca Okamoto
That’s a problem.

Pete Mockaitis
“…problematic for our processes, in fact.”

Rebecca Okamoto
Yes. Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And I think that’s really good to think about it for in terms of their word choice and selection because “spread glitter” might be super resonant for you and, in a way, you know, a very lovely little motto or inspiration, you know, print up accessory for your office wall. Cool beans. But to share it with others who don’t have that same perspective is just going to fall flat.

Rebecca Okamoto
Right. Or, you could just say, “I solve your problem.” Someone from 2018, he came to one of my workshops, and he said, “I read your blog and I redid my entire introduction. It’s now in six words, ‘We make Salesforce easy to use.’” And he said, now, when he introduced himself, people would stop him and say, “Hey, Bob, come over here. This guy makes Salesforce easy to use.”

It was so easy for them to understand they were recruiting people for him and they were able to repeat his personal brand, and it’s six words. So, I tell people it’s not about 20. It’s about the fewest number of words that makes the person go, “I know who that is,” or, “I want that.”

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. Lovely. Well, Rebecca, it feels like you are a master of concision or a succinctness. It seems, like, understood. What else do we need to say about this matter?

Rebecca Okamoto
So, the first thing is, then, remember it’s about your audience not yourself, and don’t try to be clever, and then you have to practice. So, I have a lot of people tell me, “Oh, yeah, I’ve worked on my introduction. Wait, let me…It’s in my phone.” And I’m like, “Okay, that’s actually not going to work.” You have to memorize it and then you practice it, because you want the intonation to sound confident. You want to be able to say it anytime someone waves a microphone in front of you.

I’ve had people try to, like, sneak up me and say, “Introduce yourself” at a lunch thing and say, “Stand up and introduce yourself.” And I’m like, “That’s never going to be my problem because I’m always going to be able to introduce myself because I practice.” And first impressions really matter. So, I would say practice, practice and practice.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. To the point about practicing, we had a previous guest, Laura Sicola, on the show, and she made a phenomenal point, is that we know our names so well, or maybe anything that we know super well. We have a tendency to speak it super-duper fast.

And I think I’m guilty of this in my own podcast intro, like, “To check out the show notes, or the transcript, or the links to the items that we’ve referenced, go to awesometeourjob.com. So, I was like, “Okay, hold up. If it’s a new person, like, ‘Oh, what, what, what, what, what all is there? Huh?’” It’s, like, I have to continuously remind myself, and sometimes I fail here.

It’s to think about them hearing it for the first time. And she says, many of us were saying our names wrong, like, “I’m Pete Mockaitis.” Like, “What? What?” It’s like, “I’m Pete Mockaitis.” So, there’s the pause, and then the intonation movements, that the name itself is heard very clearly, which is actually a genuine risk because we know our names so well, we might spit it out too darn fast.

Rebecca Okamoto
Right. And people tend to go, like, “My name is Rebecca Okamoto?” Like, you’re asking a question, “You don’t know your name?” You’re not realizing that you’re just saying it so fast. Yeah, so I tell people record themselves. That’s what I do. I practice all the time to get that muscle memory, because introducing myself is important and I do it for a living. So, I do that.

And then I always say the last tip is test it out because it makes sense to you, but it may or may not make sense to someone else. So, a different executive coach, I was in a workshop with, and he said, “Oh, I have one. I help high-potential managers having problems right now.” And I’m like, “Well, what does that mean having problems right now? What kind of problems?”

And he said, “You don’t understand?” I’m like, “No, I don’t understand.” He goes, “Well, that’s because you don’t understand.

Pete Mockaitis

Health problems? Money problems? Marital problems?

Rebecca Okamoto
I know. Exactly. And I’m like, “I think it’s unclear.” And he goes, “It’s not clear. You don’t understand.” I’m like, “That’s what I’m telling you. I don’t understand.” So, he was angry at me, and I’m like, “I’m the listener. How am I supposed to recommend you to someone?” So, if someone tells you it’s not clear, you get defensive. It’s a sign that it probably isn’t clear. Just because you understand it, your introduction is for the listener, not for yourself.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Certainly, because, in a way, I’m imagining that that could become super resonant shortly, it’s like, “I help managers who have problematic employees they’re worried about firing or something,” or something. Or, “Who may need performance improvement plans.” It’s, like, that could be like, “Oh, my goodness. Thank you. I’ve been worried about this and didn’t know what to do about it. And here’s a guy who can help.”

Rebecca Okamoto
Right, yeah. And what you find is, if I tell people, like, “I help new entrepreneurs introduce market and promote themselves in 20 words or less,” people say, “Well, do you help, like, not new entrepreneurs?” They’re like, “Who else can you help? Can you help students?” If you’re really clear about your audience and it makes a very clear impact on the person, the chance of them saying, “Do you help someone else go way up?”

But if you’re like, “Oh, I help this group, that group, and the other group,” when people say, “Oh, I’m the,” – what is it? – like, the generalist or whatever, or, “I’m some kind of, I don’t know, multi-tool,” and you’re just like, “It’s too broad, and no one can envision what that will do for them.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Yes, the visualization point, again, coming back.

Rebecca Okamoto
Yeah, “I’m a jack of all trades,” and you’re like, “What would I do with a jack of all trades? Can you help me troubleshoot this type of problem within 90 days or less? Can you help me get this result without, you know, using a lot of capital? That’s what I’m looking for.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, let’s talk a bit more about when we do the practice, we talked a bit about the pacing. And then we talked quite a bit about the actual word choice themselves. Can you give us some perspective on tone, rhythm, body language, anything else when it comes to the delivery of these up to 20 words?

Rebecca Okamoto
Laura Sicola, I’ve seen her TED Talk. I actually heard the same advice she gave in her TEDx Talk from a Dale Carnegie class, which is saying your name is really important. And as someone who have been on the receiving end of people from all over Asia, where I didn’t know their language, you don’t want to be like, “What was your name again? What was your name again?” So, saying it slowly and practicing is really important.

And then from the pacing standpoint, you don’t have to say it super-fast, because you’re trying to get a conversation. So, it’s like, “Here’s what I do.” And I like to say mine with a lot of confidence. So, it’s just like, “That’s what I do.” And I make my tone bend down at the end, “I help people introduce, market, and promote themselves in 20 words or less.” And just give it a pause.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And then, hey, facial expressions, hand gesture, posture, anything to think about there?

Rebecca Okamoto
Well, I guess if you’re just sitting, you know, you can only do so much. I would use your hands. Palms up is a very famous one, where speaking with your palms up. Smiling is a really big deal. It’s been shown that people who smile are, like, just genuinely more likable from a first impression standpoint. So, you want to sit up straight. You want to have good posture. If someone told you have good posture, it makes a difference.

I also think that if you’re standing, that whole thing about eye contact, but if you’re on a Zoom call, you want to look into the camera and you want to simulate what eye contact is so that it looks like you’re looking someone in the eye.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. Well, I was just about to ask about this in the digital world, any perspectives on making great first impressions when you do have that digital domain going on?

Rebecca Okamoto

So many people turn their cameras off. You want to have your camera on.

Pete Mockaitis
Whole time?

Rebecca Okamoto
Yes, whole time. And you want to look into, when you’re speaking, you want to look into, whatever, you have a red dot or a green dot, whatever you want to look into that camera. A friend of mine is a coach for people who do a lot of things on Zoom. And one of the things he told me to do is stop using big hand gestures and moving back and forth.

He said, “So, you want to sit and ground yourself. Think of it like a close-up on a camera.” So, he said, “When you’re on a stage, yeah, big arm gestures, big, bold gestures are good. But when you’re sitting there, moving around is very distracting. It makes you look nervous.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Understood.

Rebecca Okamoto
Yeah. Oh, I have one other tip from an introduction standpoint, which is I have multiple introductions for people. You have different audiences. They’re at different levels, if it’s in one organization. You don’t need one introduction that fits for everyone. You have an introduction for the type of people that you’re meeting.

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. So, in a social environment, in which you are not expecting to generate business or professional anything, we would be going in a totally different direction.

Rebecca Okamoto
Right.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, now I wonder, is this, so we probably no longer use the formula, “I help target audience get result they want”?

Rebecca Okamoto
Sometimes you can, it kind of depends on what you’re doing, but you might want to do like your passion, mission, or strength, you know, “I work in the healthcare field and I’m passionate about helping people in need, creating opportunity for vulnerable communities.” You might want to talk about it that way.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay.

Rebecca Okamoto
Who you serve, so they’re like, “Oh, I love that you help people in need.” But again, it’s all about creating a visual in your audience’s mind so they can be like, “That’s really great. So, tell me more.”

Pete Mockaitis
And how about purely social?

Rebecca Okamoto
Well, I mean, I still tell people what I do. So, it’s like, well, you know, if I’m sitting on a plane and I don’t know the person, and they’re like, “What do you do?” “Oh, I work with…” I’ll just pick something that I think is generic, because I’m just looking to, well, I’ll say spark a conversation, “I work with personal branding and I help people introduce themselves in 20 words or less.” So, it just makes it clear what I do, whether they say, “I know someone,” or not. I just want them to be like, “Oh, that’s interesting,” so they can see what it is.

Pete Mockaitis
Sure thing. Got you. I guess I’m imagining, so we’re at a barbecue and it’s, “Oh, hey, what’s going on?” “Oh, hey, I’m Pete.” “Hi, Pete. What’s your story?” Like, “Well, there’s many ways I could go with that, sir.”

Rebecca Okamoto

Yeah, I mean, you could say like, if you want to talk about your work and then you want to put it in like, “I work in the supply chain and it’s like being a…” well, maybe this is not a good example for today’s environment, which is like, “I’m like an air traffic controller that helps, you know, products go from A to B, crossing the country,” something like that. Or, “I make things make sure that they show up on your shelves on time.” Really generic, the way you would describe it to your seven-year-old nephew or niece.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Certainly.

Rebecca Okamoto
Yeah, that’s a good way of doing it so that if you’re like, “If I could explain it to a kid, it’s probably a generic enough one to use in a social environment.”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Rebecca Okamoto
No, I think that that covers it. I just really love it when people tell me that it made a difference where they felt seen and heard. That’s the greatest part about having a great introduction.

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Rebecca Okamoto

I say that my favorite quote is from JFK’s “moon talk.” So, at Rice University, 1963, he said, “We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.” So, I find it very inspiring that, and he said something similar when he gave a, I think it was at a prayer meeting. He said, you know, “Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men.” I think it’s really important that we try, and I think that adversity is a good thing. So, I find it very inspirational.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Rebecca Okamoto
I’m obsessed with the dilution effect, the dilution factor. So that is, it means that the more you speak, the more you try to explain, the less impact your message has, which is just another reason to say why you want it in 20 words or less. You don’t need a lot of things. You just need one thing for someone to grab ahold of.

So, I’ve been studying a lot of the dilution effect. And then I try to tell people when I coach them, “You’re diluting your message. You’re making it hard for me to understand. So just give me one thing and let me ask you about the rest.”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite book?

Rebecca Okamoto
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, who I believe was one of your guests, yeah.

Pete Mockaitis
He sure was.

Rebecca Okamoto
I mean, I recommend his book because then you can help people with the intonation and they can understand how important it is to get someone to say, “Oh, my God, that’s me.” And that’s what your introduction is, very similar to that.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite tool?

Rebecca Okamoto
I’m obsessed with copywriting. So, the tool I use when I work with people is it’s called problem agitation solution. So, when you’re pitching yourself, you give them the headline, which is, “I help people with something to say, but struggle to say it.” Then you talk about a problem that people have and you sort of agitate it, and say, “Here’s how I solve it.” So, I love that tool.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite habit?

Rebecca Okamoto
I have a new habit. I have been working on using rituals. Rituals are a sequence of things that you do to focus yourself and really imbue purpose to the activity that you’re doing. A really famous person that does this is Rafa Nadal, a tennis player. Like, before he serves, he goes through a sequence of things to get himself ready. He sits down between points, and he like straightens his water bottles, and he’s just ordering his mind and he’s getting himself set.

So, I’m like, when I write, instead of procrastinating, instead of getting popcorn, I’m going to have a ritual that makes it really meaningful for me to sit down and, whether it’s 20 minutes or two hours, focus and purpose.

Pete Mockaitis
And what is the ritual?

Rebecca Okamoto
I grab a mug of a hot beverage, I take a few deep breaths to center myself, and I ask myself how I’m feeling, because if I’m feeling purposeful, that’s good. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, nervous, whatever, I ask myself, like, “Hey, what’s going on? Why do you feel that way?” And then I tell myself, “Be grateful for the moment and the opportunity that you have, that you get to write, that you get to help people. And what is your purpose?”

And when I center myself on my purpose and who I’m trying to serve, all of that stuff goes away. And it takes me – what? – two, three minutes, kind of center myself. But it always starts with a mug of like a hot beverage. I don’t know why, but I just like that. And now every day, and I used to do it randomly. Now every day, either at 7:00 a.m. or 10:00 a.m., I have a mug of something and I start my day really focused.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate, and they quote it back to you often?

Rebecca Okamoto
So, since I gave this TEDx talk about how to introduce yourself and get hired, people play it back to me all the time. I didn’t realize that it’s about you versus about me. So, I tell people about me is something like, “I’m an award-winning bestselling author.” About you is, “I help new authors get published faster.” They play this back to me all the time.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Rebecca Okamoto
They can come to my LinkedIn profile, which is just Rebecca Okamoto, or they can go to my website, which is 20Words.com, the number 20, words.com, or Rebecca@20Words.com.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome with their jobs?

Rebecca Okamoto
Yes. So, I will tell you my challenge to them is to think “What if?” What if that inner critic inside your head is wrong? What if that inner voice is wrong? So, when you introduce yourself before, and you’re like, “Oh, I’m no good. I shouldn’t have even tried,” what if the only thing, the only difference between that being seen and heard and recognized was your introduction, was your ability to be clear? And it’s a skill, not a problem – “What if?”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Rebecca, thank you.

Rebecca Okamoto
Thank you.

1112: How to Beat Digital Exhaustion and Reclaim Your Energy with Paul Leonardi

By | Podcasts | No Comments

Paul Leonardi reveals how notifications, multitasking, and endless tools quietly burn us out–and how you can reset your energy.

You’ll Learn

  1. The two hidden forces behind your digital exhaustion
  2. Simple ways to reduce attention-switching
  3. How to reclaim your energy from your devices

About Paul

Paul Leonardi, PhD, is the award-winning Duca Family Professor of Technology Management at the University of California, Santa Barbara. He is a frequent consultant and speaker to a wide range of tech and non-tech companies like Google, Microsoft, YouTube, GM, McKinsey, and Fidelity, helping them to take advantage of new technologies while defeating digital exhaustion. He is a contributor to the Harvard Business Review and coauthor of The Digital Mindset.

Resources Mentioned

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Paul Leonardi Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Paul, welcome!

Paul Leonardi
Hi, thanks for having me, Pete. I appreciate it.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’m excited to be chatting. We’re talking Digital Exhaustion. But first I want to know, I understand you are the youngest blackbelt in U.S. Aikido history. Tell us about that.

Paul Leonardi
Well, I was, at least circa 1992, or somewhere around there.

Pete Mockaitis
I assume 12-year-old or someone just have to usurp you. The nerve.

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, well, they might have in the last couple of decades. Yeah, I started practicing Aikido when I was in second grade, and I didn’t like it when I started because I just wanted to be like Bruce Lee or the Karate Kid and punch and kick stuff. And my parents didn’t like that idea very much, and said, “We’ll put you in a defensive martial art,” and I didn’t really understand what that meant.

But Aikido is about using your opponent’s energy and reorienting it so that you can throw and pin and do things like that. And I think it’s actually turned out to be a pretty good metaphor in my life. Like, how do you take energy that’s moving in one direction and recast it so that you can move in other directions and do productive things?

And so, I’ve really enjoyed, you know, I don’t practice regularly anymore. But it’s certainly an important part of my identity. And what was kind of interesting is I did it with a bunch of kids, and several of those kids ended up going on to graduate school and getting PhDs. We didn’t come from like an affluent or highly educated area.

But I think there’s something about the discipline of doing a martial art, combined with, and Aikido is very much like this, where you have to do improvisations all the time on key techniques to deal with opponents that are doing different things. And that kind of focus of technique plus improvisation is something that lends itself really well to doing research and focusing on topics, you know, sort of ad nauseum for a really long period of time.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m glad you mentioned directing energy because that’s exactly where I thought this might go. This is we’re talking about digital exhaustion. Well, first, can you define what do mean by this?

Paul Leonardi
It’s a hard thing to define in words, but let me try to define it in actions, behaviors. So, here’s the story I get from a lot of people. “I get midway through my day. I’m staring at my screen. I realize I’m just scrolling. I’m clicking on some random stuff. I know that there’s an email that I should respond to, but I just don’t want to do it. My eyes are sore, but I can’t look away from the screen. And I just feel this sense of bleh, even though I still like my job and I like the work I’m doing.”

I think that really characterizes the feeling of digital exhaustion. It’s that we are so enmeshed in this world of communication and tools and data coming at us. And we need it, and it’s useful, but it’s also just wearing us out.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, could you share with us, I think many of us can relate to that, like, “Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, mm-hmm, understood.” I’m wondering if you discover anything really shocking as you dug in your research here.

Paul Leonardi
One of the things that I expected to hear from people was, “I’m going to…like, I want to give up my tools. I want to go on a digital detox. I want to stop using…” name your social media platform. And rarely anybody said that to me. Most people said, “I want to be able to do all the things, but I need to figure out how do I do it better? How do I do it in a way that feels like I’m in control and isn’t sapping all of my energy?”

And I thought that was interesting because most of the discourse that we have today seems to be you have this sort of either/or choice. You’re on social media or you decide not to be on social media. You get a dumb phone or you get a smartphone. You stay away from your tools, right, whatever it might be. And we just don’t live in a world where you can choose to walk away from most of our technology. And most people don’t want to because our tools do great things.

If it weren’t for the internet and video conferencing and USB mics, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. So, we like our tools, we want to use them, but we need to reorient to them in ways that are making sure that they’re energizing us, allowing us to be productive, being engaged and not sapping us of all our enthusiasm and excitement.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I wonder, are they? I mean, I think some of us feel it, like, “Yes, my phone is a problem.” And I wonder if others among us are not even aware of damage being done. Can you orient us to the lay of the land with the research here?

Paul Leonardi

I started questioning people about feelings of digital exhaustion in, roughly, 2001, 2002. And I did that because I had a few experiences when I was doing some research at this large atmospheric weather science organization.

And the scientists and the admin people there kept telling me about how they love doing research about atmospheric conditions, and they loved working with these fancy computer models. And they thought they were really making a difference by giving reports to the FAA to help with plane routings and things like that.

But that they just start were feeling like there was so much data coming at them and so many different tools that they had to learn, that they were kind of feeling overwhelmed. And almost everybody that I talked to said that. And when I asked them, “Okay, well, do you feel like you are exhausted by your tools?” roughly half of them said immediately, “Yes!”

And the other half said, “What do you mean exhausted by my tools? I mean, I kind of feel like worn out by them, you know, but exhausted? I don’t know. I just use them.” So, I’ve been asking that question ever since. And I’ve asked it thousands of times. And I’ve got over 12,000 people that I’ve interviewed and surveyed for the book.

And what’s happened over time is that, each year, it seems, that I asked that question, more and more people from that 50% that said, “No, I don’t feel exhausted,” have been moving into the exhaustion camp. I think we’re becoming more and more aware of the toll that our tools take on us.

And when you read a lot of the popular press and books and things, like Jonathan Hyde’s The Anxious Generation that talks about these big problems associated with social networking sites amongst adolescents, in particular, I think more and more of us are becoming reflective about the role that technology is playing in our everyday lives in ways that we hadn’t really considered before.

So, there’s this dark side that comes with all of the positives of using our technologies and that awareness has been growing.

Pete Mockaitis
So, boy, 2001, those feel like quaint, simple times as compared to today.

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, I know. It’s true.

Pete Mockaitis
So, what’s our percentage at nowadays with your surveys with regard to digital exhaustion?

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, so I survey people on a scale that goes 0 to 6, and it’s probably not super interesting to talk about why that scale is 0 to 6, but what in 2000 to 2001 timeframe, the average response was about a 2.5. So, you know, like, “Okay, I feel a little exhausted,” but sort of low. In 2022, which is the last time that I really conducted a large-scale survey of this, it was up above 5. So, it’s doubled in that 20-year period.

And what’s interesting is there’s been two major inflection points, so two points at which the graph just sort of trended up. The first one was right around 2010, and that’s a particularly important period because we had just seen the introduction of the iPhone two and a half years prior, and Facebook reached a hundred million monthly active users at that point. So, 2010 represents a period of time where social media, in particular, really has, you know, arrived en masse for most people.

And then the second inflection point was 2021, and that’s right after COVID. And, of course, we all know that even for those that worked really intensely on screens and in a very digitally mediated world before COVID, the move to mass working from home, interacting with everybody through digital platforms really seemed to create another spike in that graph.

And what surprised me is that I would have expected at both of those points, as I was watching those numbers increase in real time, some decline afterwards. But I’ve not seen a decline in either of those trends after 2010 and after 2021. The numbers just sort of remain flat. And so, I wonder if we just kind of keep adding a digital tax to our lives and have not been finding a way to reduce that burden.

Pete Mockaitis
And I also wonder, you asked about exhaustion associated with the use of the digital tools, are we pretty sure folks are attributing it accurately or correctly, there’s not some mystery third force bringing in exhaustion upon us and we just blame the tools?

Paul Leonardi
There absolutely might be. You know, there’s a whole confounding set of factors that are important to consider when we talk about exhaustion. One is stress. We get stressed by lots of different things. Not all stress is bad, right? Some stress is good. It creates an adrenaline and cortisol release that allows us to do good things. But we get stressed, and stress is different from exhaustion, I would say. Stress is kind of the more momentary feeling of, “Oh, you know, I just have to respond to these emails. It’s driving me nuts.”

And exhaustion is the cumulative effect of those stressors over time. Now, we get stressed by many things other than our technology, right? We get stressed by the demands people placed on us. We get stressed by, you know, the way people act or behave towards us. We get stressed by the volume of work we might have. So, there’s lots of other stressors that are kind of mingled in with the digital activities that we’re engaged in.

Also, stress and exhaustion are both kind of driving forces that can lead, ultimately, to burnout in our jobs. But burnout is a much bigger concept than exhaustion because burnout is about how we orient to our work more broadly. Are we getting opportunities for promotion? Are we feeling like we’re making a difference? If we don’t have those kinds of things, the research suggests that we tend to feel more burnout.

Exhaustion, though, is a critical component of burnout. Christina Maslach, who developed one of the best burnout inventories, talks about emotional exhaustion as being one of the key predictors of burnout. And it’s perhaps the one that is most prevalent when you are talking about burnout is like how emotionally worn are you. So digital exhaustion is certainly a part of that. Is it the only thing? No. But I do think it’s one important factor that we can control through some changes in our behavior.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, shout out to Christina Maslach, a guest of the show. Yes, understood. Well, then, I’m curious, theoretically, these digital devices “should” be making our lives easier, simpler, better, lower stress, right? Like, whereas, before we had to do all these old-fashioned things, like, you know, find an envelope and a stamp, to send an old-fashioned letter before email.

Or, you can just ramp it up, or we have to mosey on over to a computer to send a note as opposed to getting it on our phones, etc. So, in some ways, or at least that’s part of, I’d say, the promise or the marketing or the hype associated with tech tools, and we’re hearing it now with AI, “It’s going to make your life so much easier.”

Paul Leonardi
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Pete Mockaitis
How is it that it is a factual statement that I can spend fewer minutes of my life achieving a given outcome by utilizing these digital tools, and yet, I feel more exhausted instead of less exhausted with this empowerment?

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, it’s a great question and it feels like a paradox of sorts, doesn’t it? But let’s take a look at two major drivers of our digital exhaustion – attention and inference. And let me try to give you an example of why what you’re saying, you know, our tools help us to do these things that are supposed to make our life easier, but at the same time end up contributing to our exhaustion, like how both of those things can exist simultaneously.

Okay, so let’s start with attention. We, as humans, appear not to be very well made to move very quickly across lots of different tasks. Our brain takes a beat to disengage from what it’s doing and reengage in a new context. And there’s lots of good science that shows that the kind of disengagement that needs to happen makes it difficult for us to multitask.

But our devices are demanding more and more switches and attention from us all the time across different applications, across different areas of work, across different arenas of our life, from work to home and etc. And we’re just not made for those rapid switches in connection and disconnection that technologies create for us.

So, you’re right on the one hand that it’s wonderful that if an urgent work problem presents itself when I’m at a soccer game for my kid, I don’t now have to, like, you know, maybe 15 years ago, I got the phone call and I’m like, “Oh, no, I need to leave the soccer game and run into the office.” And that would have been really disruptive. Now I can deal with that problem on my smartphone pretty easily from the soccer field.

But what that has created is this fracturing of our attention between my home life and my work life. And I’m now, all of a sudden, situated physically on a soccer field doing work, disembodied, right, and I’m working through my screen in order to sort of be in the office. Not to mention that I’m on an application and, like, I’m working in Google Docs, and all of a sudden, I get an email notification, and I quickly switch to go see what that email notification is.

And then I go back to my Google Docs, and I don’t seamlessly pick up where I left off, because it takes a while for me to re-adjust and port my attention over from the thing I just left. And there’s lots of good research. Gloria Mark is one of my favorite scholars who does a lot of work on attention. And she gives an example that I love, which is that our attention is like a whiteboard.

We think that we’ve written all over the whiteboard and we just erase it and we can write something new. But if you look at most people’s whiteboards, you realize there’s still residue left over from what they wrote before. It’s really hard to erase everything.

Pete Mockaitis
Got to get the spray cleaner going.

Paul Leonardi
Oh, yeah, that little “pst, pst, pst” going. And that’s what our minds are like. And so, it takes time for us to reorient to different activities. And that reorientation, those switches in attention that those reorientations require, are really a great source of our exhaustion, even though the technologies that are allowing us this access in multiple ways are making our lives easier. So that’s one example right around attention.

The next one is what I call inference. And inference turns out to be a huge driver of our exhaustion. And let me kind of take it this way. We are inundated with many, many, many data points all the time. Pieces of emails that come at us, right? We see images that are posted on Instagram or little videos on TikTok. And we get a glimpse about, “Well, what is this person interested in? What is this report really saying? I got this little bit of data from our customers about how many emails they open or whatever it might be.”

And we are constantly forced to grapple with the fact that we see a little and we know we don’t see the whole picture. And so, we’re always trying to fill in the blanks or make assumptions about what’s going on behind the scenes. And that inference-making is like turbocharged now, because we’re constantly inundated with pieces and half-truths and little examples and almost never the full picture. And it takes a lot of cognitive and emotional work to be in a constant state of inference-making.

One example that I love is that I talked to, in interviews for the book, this guy by the name of Dean, and Dean was telling me how, when he was just after graduating college, his buddies wanted to go on a bicycle trip through Europe. And he decided at the last minute he couldn’t go because it just wasn’t a financially prudent move for him.

But he kept watching on Instagram, you know, all the great places they were cycling, the beautiful vistas that they saw, the great pubs that they went to along the way and the friends they were making, and he was making all of these inferences about how they were having the time of their lives, how he felt like a loser because he couldn’t go on the trip with them, so on and so forth, right?

And this might just sound like, “Okay, so what? You’re looking at a bunch of pictures of people’s posts on Instagram.” But having to contend with a world out there that’s giving you pieces of information and making sense about, “Where’s my role in that?” is a really exhausting experience. And we do that all the time. Sometimes it’s through images. A lot of times it’s through just pieces of data that are coming in.

And we’re always looking at ourselves in these platforms also, “How do I appear to other people?” And then making inferences about, “How must they think that I appear given what they see about me? And, oh, did I give the right impression? Did I not?” So, if that all sounds tiring as I’m explaining it, think about what it’s taking in our minds and in our hearts to do that.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, boy, you really put a nice point on that and in terms of inference being exhausting. And I’m thinking and talk about half-truths, I find it, I feel that when I watch the news, because I’m doing exactly that, I’m trying to make sense of what’s being communicated to me. And, particularly, I’m going to say politicians, or statements by leaders of technology or business, in terms of, “Is that true? Why do you suppose you said that? Am I being lied to right now? And is that partially true?”

When you said half-truths, I could imagine, in a way, that’s how I feel about most also marketing communications, particularly around AI products, I’d say in terms of, “Okay, what you’re saying seems to be technically not a lie. Like, this application does, in fact, do the thing you say it does. However, it does so unreliably and inconsistently with such need for correction, fixing, editing, redoing, babysitting, it’s like, I’m not quite sure it’s actually useful or value added at this stage of the game in late 2025.”

And, in fact, I saw a study associated with software engineering, for example, which says, “Hey, we actually did a randomized control trial associated with folks who are using AI versus not using AI, their experience, they know their code base and what they’re up to. And when you measure it on the clock, it was slower, fixing the AI errors.”

And yet it feels faster because sometimes it gets it right, and it’s like, “Whoa, that’s impressive.” And it’s just a good feeling and it is sort of, like, wowing. And so, I think you’re right, in a world where we’re getting lots of half-truths, it is exhausting. And I’m coming back to flashback. I had to check out, potentially getting a new roof.

We own a little multifamily home in Chicago, and it was over a hundred years old, the building. And so, it seemed like, “Oh, yeah, that roof may need some care.” And so, I was having a heck of a hard time getting anybody to come on over. So, I was like, “You know what, the heck with it. I’m just going to call 20 roofing companies.”

Paul Leonardi
See who shows up? Right.

Pete Mockaitis

“And we’ll see how many people show up.” And I got about five, which, I mean, is striking there.

Paul Leonardi
That’s about par for the course these days. Yeah.

Pete Mockaitis

You know, 15 out of 20, just don’t even want your money, but, okay. So, I got about five, and it was so tricky because some people say, “Oh, no, you got to tear off the whole thing and just start again.” And others were like, “Oh, no, we can just put another layer on the existing.” And it’s like, “Well, putting another layer is much cheaper, and so I would like to do that if I can, but can I?”

And I found it very mentally exhausting because, here I am, it was about three versus two, the opinions on just another layer versus just tear the whole thing off. And I think that this is just so common of so many situations. It’s like there’s ambiguity and we’re getting different messages from different people.

And you’re wondering, “Am I being straight up lied to by one of them? Is there a nuance I’m not understanding? Like, how can I deduce what is true?” And it’s exhausting. I see the same thing when I’m evaluating potential marketing initiatives. It’s just like, “Well, who knows what’s going to happen?”

Paul Leonardi
I like your roofing example. It rings true. Maybe we’re just unlucky and need to buy roofs, the two of us, but I think this sort of puts it into perspective. In 2000, or like early 2000, I also owned a rental property that needed a new roof. I’m not making this up. And I also got some conflicting bids.

And I remember thinking at the time, that I know nothing about roofing and I still don’t really know much about roofing today. And I had few ways of really knowing what was the best course of action. And, more importantly, I didn’t know, I didn’t think that I could find out. I really needed to figure out who was the best expert or who could I trust and I would lean in on their expertise.

Today in 2025, if I needed a new roof, and I got conflicting estimates that said, “You needed to do things,” the first thing I would think is, “I can figure out what really I need here.” We have this impression that the world’s information is at our fingertips, and if I only look in the right places and if I do the right kind of research, I’ll be able to determine what the right course of action is. The reality is, even though we might think that, it’s really hard to do.

But knowing that the possibility exists, and thinking I should be going and looking for it is exhausting. And for many people, it’s demotivating. And this is one thing I found over and over again as I was doing the studies for this book, that when you reach these kinds of critical decision points where you feel like, “The world’s information is at my fingertips and I should be able to make a great decision out of this, and I’m an idiot if I make the wrong decision,” people just don’t act a lot of times. It stalls them.

A kind of a funny related story, this was maybe 10 years ago. I was doing some work with a really large company, a software company that is, I won’t name, but is very into search. And I was with a group that sort of, that helped advise companies about ad buying.

And what was really funny to me in these meetings was, somebody would come, like a project manager would come, and they would say, “Okay, here’s the strategy that we think we’re going to use to advise this company on how to make their ad purchases,” how to increase click through rate, let’s say.

And someone on the team would say, “Oh, do we have data to test your hypothesis?” And then everybody would kind of giggle, and be like, “Yes, we have all the data.” And so, they would say, “Well, go test that hypothesis and then come back and then we’ll decide if we should advise the company to do this or not.”

So, they would come back, and then someone would say, “Hmm, what if this?” “Oh, do we have the data for that?” And then they’d all laugh and then they’d go back. And it was this whole, like, analysis, paralysis by analysis. It’s like they almost never made decisions about what to do because they realized, “We have all the data. We should just keep going back and looking at it.”

And this is the kind of thing that I see people doing all the time, is we just don’t act because we feel that we should do more. And the act of trying to do more is exhausting, and knowing that I’m never going to get the complete amount of information wears us out just thinking about that. So, it’s this matrix of data and technology and expectation and inference that we’re trapped in these days, I think, that creates these real deep feelings of like, “Aargh, why do I have to do more? Why can’t I just break free?”

Pete Mockaitis

Understood. Okay. Well, I think this is hugely valuable already, just surfacing what’s going on, “Oh, hey, you’re doing a lot of attention switching, you’re doing a lot of inferring, and you have too much to look at with regard to your switching of attention and your potential extra data points to go about your inferring.” So, Paul, lay it on us, if we want to find more energy, less exhaustion, what’s the most leveraged stuff we can do to achieve this?

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, so where I like to begin is to say, if you understand that these attention switches, this inference-making, these are the key contributors to our exhaustion, then what we need to do is figure out, “How do we reduce the amount that we are switching our attention and the inference making that we have to do?” So that’s the big picture. Those are the things we need to work on.

So, then we can start to talk about very specific strategies that help us to do that. One of them that I love that I call, it’s rule number three in my book, it’s called make a match. And the premise is simple. The execution, though, is harder. So, here’s the premise. We often are dealing with situations that are ambiguous. The answer is not straightforward. There’s going to be some amount of negotiation or conflict that I need.

These are regular occurrences in our work days and in our lives outside of work. We also deal with some situations that are pretty straightforward. You know, like, “Are you going to pick up the kid or am I going to pick up the kid?” “Do we send this email to the client tomorrow morning or this afternoon?” We don’t need to reduce a lot of ambiguity, have a lot of discussion around a lot of those issues. They’re pretty easy to resolve.

What I see happen often, though, is that we choose the wrong medium, the wrong tool for the job given the level of ambiguity, disagreement, discussion that needs to take place. So, think about an issue, I’ll just give an example of something that happened to me. We needed to do some re-budgeting in the department that I worked with, and I chair a department and I was working with one of our assistants.

I happened to be traveling. I was in Europe when this issue came up and we needed to sort of quickly talk about the budget and recategorize some things. And I just kept thinking, “This is like a straightforward issue. Let’s just do X, Y, and Z.” And my admin person that I was working with kept, like, responding in these kinds of weird ways. And it wasn’t clear that she was going to make the changes that I was suggesting.

And then, like I would get kind of more upset and my email became a little tenser, and I said, “Look, we just need to act on this.” And then there was a day of response, compounded by the fact that I was overseas, and I was eight hours’ time difference. And this became such an emotionally exhausting interaction for me because I began to think, “Oh, man, she’s trying to subvert me. Like, she’s not responding on purpose to this.”

And I was kind of spiraling, having these negative assumptions. And what I realized kind of in the process was, “You know, this is not a super simple issue. My first impression was this was simple, but if I really thought about it, this is much more complex. And I’m trying to resolve this complex issue through email asynchronously. And we have this time difference.”

“And the best thing that I could do to reduce this ambiguity and to stop me making so many assumptions and her making so many assumptions is just to hop on a Zoom call.” And we did, and we hammered out the whole issue in like 10 minutes. But it was two days, or almost three days, of me like wasting my life away, it felt like, being upset about this. I talked to my wife, I was like, “Oh, I’m so frustrated by this interaction that I’m having.”

But what didn’t I do? I didn’t stop to say, “What am I trying to accomplish here? And what’s the best mode of interaction to deal with this problem? It’s an ambiguous situation. It’s going to require some collaboration, some real time discussion.” And if I just had picked up the phone, just had done the Zoom, I would have resolved this so much faster.

But when we don’t do that, things escalate. We send more emails that are pulling us out of our attention that we’re paying to other things at the moment. We’re forced to make more inferences about, “Why didn’t this person respond faster? What did they mean?”

And the same goes in the opposite direction, that if we have a super simple issue and then we have a big meeting to discuss it, when really it was like, we pretty much could have just decided this via email, we waste a ton of time and attention and emotion talking to death about something that we could have resolved much more easily.

So, we can reduce our attention, we can reduce the amount of inference that we’re making, if we’re matching the complexity of the challenge with the capabilities of the tool. So, the shorthand here is, if you’ve got a more complex challenging issue, you want to use a tool that’s going to put you in real-time collaboration and discussion so you can resolve those issues interactively.

And if you have a pretty basic kind of thing that you’re trying to solve, then switching to a low-fidelity medium that just like allows you to say yes, no, agree and move on, probably is going to be the best bet. So, making a match between those information requirements and the capabilities of the technology is one key way to reduce that inference-making and attention switching.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s handy. And I’m also thinking about making a match associated with the time necessary for something. I think if you’ve got a mismatch on either side, it’s frustrating and annoying in terms of, “Why are we having a three-hour meeting about this? This is ridiculous,” versus, “Okay, we’re just going to figure out this tricky challenge that’s been vexing the business for eight years in our little 30-minute call.”

Paul Leonardi
Exactly.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, either way, you’re going to find frustration if you have a mismatch of the tool, the medium, or the time. And then I think that expectation piece as well is tricky in there because it almost seems like you “should” be able to resolve it in the time that you have scheduled for it when you may just have scheduled the wrong amount of time.

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, and then everybody feels frustrated and demotivated because, “Well, clearly, we didn’t do our job right. We should have figured this out in an hour. We must be a dysfunctional group or we must not have brought the right information to this meeting.” When, to your point, perhaps it was an inappropriate time allotted for this in the first place, “And we never could have done it. And now we just all feel worse for having tried.”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. So, make a match. What’s your other favorite approach?

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, another one that I really like is the first rule that I talk about, which is reduce half your tools. And this is one that a lot of people give me the side eye about when I say it, like, “What do you mean by just like stop using half of my tools? Am I really going to be able to do that?” The answer is, yes, you’re really going to be able to get most of the way there at least, you know, 50% is just a rough number anyway.

But if you think about these ideas of attention switching and inference, the fewer tools that we have in our toolset, the less likely we’re going to be to suffer the problems associated with those two drivers of exhaustion. So, one of the things that I really suggest that people focus on is to look at, and really make a list of, “What are all the different technologies that I’m using on a daily basis?”

I used to ask people to do this 10, 15 years ago, and they come up with about 10. And a lot of those were hardware. So, they would say, “I use my laptop, and I use my BlackBerry, and I use…” you know, whatever. Today, the number is more like 30. People come up with about 30 different tools that they use in a regular day, and most of those are applications. Many of them are at work, “I use SharePoint. I use Zoom. I use, whatever it might be, ChatGPT.”

And many of those are at home, “I use Instagram and I use Zillow and I use Game Changer app to keep track of my kids’ games.” And one of the things that I recommend is, when you make this list, that you first start going through and you say, “Okay, well, which ones of these do I have the actual power to cross off this list?” And, usually, we have more power at home than we do at work.

And then I say, “Well, which ones are functionally duplicates of each other? So, are we using two tools to do roughly the same job? So, do I have a Zoom meeting sometimes and then I have a Microsoft Teams meetings other times? Or do I use Canva and Photoshop, when, really, they’re doing the same thing and I don’t know why I use both of them anyway?” And so those are candidates for reducing from our list.

And then there’s other ones where, “I’m actually just sort of in charge and there aren’t network effects.” So, you know, it may be that I say, “I really would love to give up Slack in my organization, but I can’t just give up Slack because everybody uses Slack, and they depend on me.” However, I’ve talked to a lot of people that have two or three team chat applications. And when I ask them, “Well, why in the world does your team have two or three?” nobody can really recall.

And so, what I find is that many people have told me that they actually will raise this in their organizations, and say, “You know, like we’re chatting on Teams and on Slack and on this third application. Like, is it possible we could just reduce to one?” And usually the team is like, “Yeah, like why don’t we just stick with Slack or whatever?”

And so, we actually do have the power to reduce the number of tools in our toolset. I think, in more ways, we have more degrees of freedom than we typically think we do. And doing that just means that now we’re switching between fewer applications and we’re doing fewer things that are creating those attention-switching and opportunities for inference.

You know, just a super quick example in my own life, it used to be that in a given morning, I might be on Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and Cisco’s Webex, you know, I would be doing video conferences on all three. And that doesn’t sound like a big deal except that I’m very comfortable with Zoom, because that’s the one my organization uses most often.

And when I switch to a different one and I’m trying to share my screen or engage in the chat or create a breakout room, there’s those moments of, “Oh, where’s the button for that? And how do I create the breakout room because I’m not as familiar with the other platform?” And it’s those little moments of friction that add up to be exhausting.

And reducing those, as much as we possibly can, just give us a cleaner starting point and is going to reduce the odds that we’re going to feel exhaustion from our tools if we can reduce the toolset. And my advice to leaders in organizations is that, often it’s difficult to really make a noticeable difference in the volume of tools that we have unless you step in and you make some decision.

I had one senior leader tell me, “You know, I think of this like the Smokey the Bear slogan, ‘Only you can prevent forest fires.’ It’s like, I feel like I’ve really realized only I can prevent technology proliferation.” And that’s because you’ve got the model for many of these SaaS vendors who sell tools in your company, is to price it in just a way that anybody can buy that application with their credit card.

It sorts of sneaks in right below the spending limit of, “I need formal approval from IT.” So, you get all of these applications that kind of spring up everywhere. And unless you have someone looking and saying, “Look, we’re not paying for 20 different subscriptions to the same kind of tool,” or, “We don’t need three different kinds of computer rendering platforms,” it’s really easy to get stuck with too many tools and increase our overload.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, it’s interesting how I’ve experienced this and, it’s so funny, it doesn’t seem like it “should” be that big of a deal. But if I have to hop into six different tools to accomplish a task, even if it’s only like a 10-minute task, it really does take a toll, more so than if I were just cruising through email, say, for 10 minutes. And it’s just so funny that that’s just kind of the human condition.

Paul Leonardi
It’s true. And we don’t notice it. I think I liken it to running sprints, okay? So, if you run all out on a sprint, let’s say for 10 seconds, and you cover a hundred meters, you feel pretty good. And the next sprint that you run, if you’re not resting adequately, you might cover a hundred meters in 12 seconds. And then the third one, you cover a hundred meters in 14 seconds.

You feel energetic, right? You feel like, “I can do it,” but it’s the accumulation of that fatigue over time that eventually hits you, and someone says, “Okay, run one more hundred-meter sprint,” and you’re like, “No, I can’t do it. I’m too exhausted.” And it’s those little micro moments that add up to big exhaustion feelings at the end of the day, just like you described.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, Paul, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Paul Leonardi
I just want to say, okay, AI, this is where I think AI, if we do it right, because we’re still in the early stages, could be really useful. If we can figure out how to put AI in a role that helps us to stay engaged in a task, keep our focus without having to switch across so many different applications, without having to go look for so many different pieces of information, that’s where these tools could be most useful in helping to reduce our exhaustion.

So, I’m optimistic. I wouldn’t say that I think that that’s where everything is going, but I’m optimistic that these tools might be helpful as they keep us in our workflows, keep our focus and engagement in areas that we want by reducing the number of tools we need to switch across and reducing the amount of attention changes that we constantly have to make.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now could you share with us a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Paul Leonardi
It’s attributed to the philosopher Voltaire. I’m not sure if there’s any real record that he said it, but the older I get, the more I appreciate this quote. And it’s, “Cherish those who seek the truth. Beware of those who find it.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, one of my all-time favorites is The Jam Study that was done by researchers at Stanford, Iyengar and Lepper. And what they looked at was people buying jams. And it was a really neat little experimental condition where they showed people, I forget the exact number, but like three or four jams, and then said, “How many did people buy jam?”

And then they gave them a display that had like lots of jams, like 20 jams on them. And then they said, “How many people bought jams?” And you’re way more likely to buy a jam if you saw three or four jams than if you saw 20 jams. And their conclusion was too much choice is demotivating. And I love that. It’s a simple study, a powerful finding. And every time I go to a restaurant and get one of those menus that seems to span 30 pages and can’t decide what I want to eat, I remember that study.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. And a favorite book?

Paul Leonardi
One of my favorites is At Home by Bill Bryson. I just really love the way Bill Bryson writes. He does a couple of things. One, he just takes these, what you would think are mundane topics, like At Home, he has a 17th century English farmhouse that he lives in, and he uses that, he walks through every room in the house, and uses that to talk about, “Well, what was life like four centuries ago?” And that’s cool.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite habit?

Paul Leonardi

This is one that I’ve been cultivating much more since writing the book, and it’s about being intentional. So, when I pick up one of my devices, or I’m going to get on my computer, I really take a beat and think, “What am I trying to accomplish? And how will I know that I got there?” And what that does for me is it allows me to bookend my experience.

It tells me, “You did it. Time to close your browser,” or, “Okay, you finished doing this. Time to put your phone down.” And if I don’t start with that intention, it’s easy to spiral into just continuing to scroll and doing all the things that make me exhausted. So that’s my new favorite habit, be intentional every time I sit down in front of a device or pick one up.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that really connects and resonates, and people quote back to you often?

Paul Leonardi

Yeah, they say about this, the idea of, “I don’t want to give up all of the technologies that do great things for me. And I haven’t been able to figure out what I’m supposed to do then to find the right balance.” And the fact that you give some rules and say, “Technology is not the problem. It’s how we use it, how we orient to it, that it really is,” they tell me that’s been empowering.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Paul Leonardi

Yeah, I say go to PaulLeonardi.com, or you can find me on LinkedIn. I think P. Leonardi is my handle there. Those are great places to find me, or at UCSB’s Technology Management Department.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome with their jobs?

Paul Leonardi
Yeah, I would say really practice being there, wherever you are. We live in a world that makes it very easy for us to be everywhere else but here, which we can teleport in our minds to places, we can be on our devices and be halfway across the world. But there’s a real power in just being where you are, be in the meeting, be in the conversation, be with your kid. Try that and I think you’ll see there’s a big difference.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Paul, thank you.

Paul Leonardi
Thanks so much for having me.

1111: How to Get Better Results from AI to Amplify Your Productivity with Gianluca Mauro

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Gianluca Mauro discusses the mindset and habits for getting the most out of AI tools.

You’ll Learn

  1. How to avoid the trap of AI “workslop”
  2. What you can and can’t expect AI to do
  3. The CIDI framework for better prompting

About Gianluca

Gianluca is the Founder and CEO of AI Academy, an AI education company founded in 2017. AI Academy has trained more than 12000 individuals and teams to harness the power of artificial intelligence for more productivity and better results.

Gianluca has over 10 years of experience consulting and building AI for organizations and currently teaches at Harvard’s Executive Education programs. He’s also the author of the book Zero to AI and the investigation on AI gender bias “There is no standard’: investigation finds AI algorithms objectify women’s bodies”, published in The Guardian.

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Gianluca Mauro Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Gianluca, welcome!

Gianluca Mauro
Hey, thank you for having me.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to be chatting with you about AI. You are a genuine expert. You’ve been researching and studying this stuff way before even normal folks had heard of this ChatGPT business. So great to have you. And tell us, any super surprising discoveries you’ve made along the way as you’re researching and teaching this stuff?

Gianluca Mauro
Well, first of all, I think something that is interesting to think about is when ChatGPT came out three years ago, it was the “Oh, my God” moment for most people, right? But AI has been out there for quite some time in different shapes and forms and with different levels of usefulness, let’s say. And I think the first “Oh, my God” moment for me was when I realized that, basically, every industry and every professional could find a use for AI.

And I’ll tell you probably what was the most interesting, or strangest maybe, project I worked on. I worked on an AI project to control the quality of diapers in a factory. So, yes, you can use AI for pretty much everything.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, now I just can’t let that go. How does AI help do quality control for diapers?

Gianluca Mauro
Well, so are you ready to go on a journey on how a diaper factory production unit works?

Pete Mockaitis
I imagine AI might be able to analyze rapid photographic imagery of diapers as they come off of the line to assess quickly potential for defects and fix the issue more quickly upstream prior to them being packaged and having to be thrown away. But I’m totally making that up.

Gianluca Mauro
You got it.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I feel like a genius. Yes!

Gianluca Mauro
Oh, my God, you are. This is extremely accurate. Extremely accurate. We had this issue that, you know, they basically have, a diaper is basically two layers of elastic material with something that is absorbing in the middle. And then if you pull this elastic material too much, it breaks, especially when you’re cutting it into shape.

Pete Mockaitis
Been there.

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, exactly. So, if you had kids, you know that that’s not fun. So, we were looking at all these pictures in the factory as they were cut into shape to try to understand, well, what was the ideal size of those big elastic rolls and try to basically optimize productivity. So, that was quite a crazy moment because, think about this.

I did this project maybe seven or eight years ago, so three or four years before ChatGPT came out. It was not obvious for anybody or for any company that they might have a use case for AI.

So, imagine me when I went and pitched a diaper production company, “Hey, maybe you should look into AI to minimize the mistakes, the defects that come out of your factory.” It was not obvious at all. It was quite interesting to find actually amazing use cases in that context as well.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s very, very intriguing. Well, so we’re talking about everyday professionals utilizing ChatGPT or other AI tools to be more productive. You’ve got a LinkedIn Learning Course on exactly that. So that’s pretty handy. Could you maybe start us off by sharing what’s perhaps a fundamental misconception or mindset shift that helps make all of this stuff make sense?

Because I imagine we could spend all day talking about, “Oh, here’s a really cool prompt,” or, “Oh, here’s a fun little tactic,” “Here’s a nifty little thing you might try.” But could you maybe set the stage for us on a more principled foundational level to help us scaffold the rest?

Gianluca Mauro
Absolutely. And I think the most important thing for everybody listening, you need to understand that, in order to really get value from AI, the number one thing you should focus on is your mindset and changing your habits. This is not anymore about necessarily getting the right tools. Most tools are pretty good today, not perfect, but, you know, they’re pretty solid, especially compared to three years ago. And it’s not even about having the most amazing prompting skills.

The biggest bottleneck is your habits. How much have you embedded AI tools and new different workflows and ways of working in your day-to-day work?

I’ll give you an example, I love making this metaphor. It’s like going to the gym. So, let’s say that you have the best equipment. That’s the equivalent of having the best tools. And let’s say you also have amazing skills. You have a squat with perfect technique and you know exactly how to do a really good bench press. And that’s the equivalent to having really good prompting skills.

But then let’s say you never go to the gym. Guess what? Your muscles ain’t going to grow. You’re not going to lose the weight that you want to lose. That’s not going to happen. I would rather see somebody with okay tool selection and with okay prompting skills, but, really, somebody who’s invested a lot in rethinking the way that you work and is curious and is constantly trying new things out than having somebody who has read all those scientific publications about best prompting techniques and has bought all the AI tools, but then has not adapted the way that you work to work with these tools.

That’s the most important thing today in this context. I wouldn’t have said that three years ago, but that’s where we are today. You need to really change the way that you work and embed them in your workflow. And that requires a little bit of effort.

Pete Mockaitis
I hear you. It does require a little bit of effort. And I would also say some discernment, because I think that my impression is, and you can tell me if this is accurate or not from your research-based perspective, it almost feels like a lot of companies, CEOs, products, just kind of want to shove AI into something because investors want it, the stock market seems to like it, and maybe some people are impressed.

But I’m almost at the point now, when I see a tool say, “Oh, now we have AI,” I’m like, “Oh, geez. Is it any good or is it just going to disappoint me again like all the rest, you know?” And so, that’s my take is that, yes, we should take a look at our habits and get into the groove of using AI tools where they’re genuinely helpful and useful and handy. And that requires a little bit of change management on our own parts.

But my hunch is there are also times where you say, “No, AI has actually no place in this little piece whatsoever, and so we’re going to deliberately choose to not stick it here but instead put it over there.”

Gianluca Mauro
You’re spot on. And there was actually research about this that I found really interesting. It was done by Stanford with a couple of other people, and then the Harvard Business Review wrote an article about this that went quite viral. The title of the article is “AI-Generated ‘Workslop’ Is Destroying Productivity.”

Pete Mockaitis
That’ll get some clicks.

Gianluca Mauro
That’s going to get some clicks. Exactly. And so, the main outcome of this research was that if you ask people, “Hey, what do you think about your colleagues who use AI?” You’re going to find that colleagues who use AI are often perceived as less creative, less capable, less reliable, less trustworthy and less intelligent. And that is not great.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, fair.

Gianluca Mauro
You do not want to be perceived as less intelligent, trustworthy, reliable, capable and creative. So, the interesting thing in this case was I honestly don’t think, and that’s also what the researchers found, that that’s a problem of AI per se. The problem is that a lot of people are using AI just in the wrong way. What does that mean in practice? Well, AI workslop is basically when you are trying to use AI as an amplifier of your laziness, basically.

Pete Mockaitis
Ooh, tweet that!

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, and I want to give a practical example, okay? Let’s say that you ask me, “Hey, Gianluca, I want to know how I might use AI in my podcast,” okay? And let’s say that I am just so lazy, I don’t want to think about what are your challenges. I don’t want to think about what are your objectives. I don’t want to think about your audience. I just go on ChatGPT and I ask, “Hey, how might a podcast producer or host use AI?” I get a research. I copy it. I send it to you. What happened?

I got a generic piece of, like a bunch of text basically, on a PDF. I gave it to you and it took me no time to produce that. It took me, like, 30 seconds to get like a bunch of text that sort of makes sense. But I’m going to waste your time reading something that is so generic that you could have found on one Google Search. So that is something that damages you because you just wasted your time reading the report that is generic and has wasted my time as well, because now you’re going to ask me questions I need to go and fix it and you’re going to think less of me, etc.

Now let’s see what I should have done if I wanted to use AI to make it way, way better, way more interesting. I would have started asking you questions, “Hey, Pete, what are the top challenges that you have? What are your objectives for next year? What do you think could be the thing that helps you the most? Do you want to be more productive? Do you want to repurpose your content more effectively? Do you want to be able to research your guests better? Like, just tell me, tell me what’s going on.”

You provide me some context. Context is a keyword that is super important in today’s AI era. You give me some context. Then with this context, I go on ChatGPT, and I say, “Hey, I interviewed Pete. These are his top challenges. What do you think might be a relevant use of AI?” Now start getting something interesting. I start getting something that is more relevant.

And then I might say, “Okay, cool, ChatGPT. Now go and find top case studies of similar podcasts to How to be Awesome at Your Job that have done something similar. Now find some tools. Now tell me what could be potential risks.” The output, then, that I send you is going to be much higher quality and it’s going to actually give you value.

But notice how the difference is not the tools. It’s not that I used a different tool that is not ChatGPT, or is that I had some special prompting skills. It’s just that I’ve been mindful. I’ve been mindful of what might be interesting, what might be relevant for Pete, and how might I use ChatGPT to basically boost my productivity and make my suggestions for Pete even more and more relevant and useful.

You see the difference. It’s not about the tool. It’s not about how good am I in prompting. I didn’t talk about doing anything particularly fancy here, okay? It’s not fancy prompting technique, there’s no coding involved, it’s just a different mindset. I tried to use AI to amplify what I would have done if I didn’t have AI. And that really works.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes, it really does. And what you’re reminding me, and you’re talking about amplifying your laziness. I’m thinking about there was a fabulous interview on The Copywriter Club Podcast, which I listen to, even though I’m not a professional copywriter, but we’re doing copywriting all the time. And there was a famed copywriter on there. We’ll look him up and put him in the show notes.

And he said, “When I’m using AI to assist me with copywriting, I don’t say, ‘Write me a sales letter.’” It’s like, “What I do is…” well, first of all, he’s using the custom APIs of an AI tool as opposed to any off-the-shelf chatbot. And then he’s saying, “Okay, I’m going to write this part of a sales letter, given all of these instructions that I have previously written for what I’m into, as well as several examples, as well as what the product is and how it’s helpful to a certain user base on these needs and want and preferences and desires and pain points. And then, so voila.”

And so, there are numerous multi hundred-word prompts associated with doing a thing. And then he was like, “Okay, this is a pretty good draft. And from that I can tweak.” And so, we’re not amplifying laziness. In fact, a tremendous amount of thought has gone into what we’re doing here. And then, because he’s done it many, many times, and he also said AI does not account for taste.

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, exactly.

Pete Mockaitis
And then from there, you can get it. And that was a real lightbulb for me, which I’m connecting now with your amplifying laziness comment. It’s like, yeah, if you just say, “Hey, do this thing,” you’re going to be disappointed. But if you put a ton of thought into it, it can kind of get you to a draft substantially faster.

Gianluca Mauro
Absolutely. And I’ll tell you what, you can amplify laziness, but you can also amplify your expertise. You can also amplify your perfectionism, if you’re a perfectionist like me. And I will give everybody a very simple thing that they can try right now. So, I’ll give you a simple prompt structure that you can use. And it’s very simple, okay? Just four lines.

So, start with some context. Context is basically the who, the why, and the what. So, you might say, “Hey, I am a podcast host. I need to…” whatever, “…prepare for a new interview with this person. My objective is to make sure that I ask the most interesting questions about this person.” Okay, that’s context. What are we talking about? I’m assuming I’m putting myself in your shoes, by the way.

Okay, so that’s the context. Then you say, you ask AI, “I will give you, for instance, a list of questions I prepared.” Something you’ve done, okay? Something that, you know, maybe 50% effort, something that is almost there. And then it will say, “You will tell me…” that’s what you’re telling the AI, “You will tell me three things I’ve done well and three things I could improve.”

“For each improvement opportunity, provide suggestions on how I could implement them. Make your feedback concise and reference specific parts of the text I gave you.” And then you just paste in your work at the end. I use this all the time.

And it’s such a simple way of using it, right? It just takes something you’ve done, and you just say, “Hey, this is my context.” Again, context is super important. It’s super important, because if you don’t put your who, why and what, then you’re get generic advice that might actually lead you in the wrong direction, right?

So, if you put the right context and if you ask this, so much value and, honestly, you can get to some pretty amazing return investment in like two minutes. Every skeptic I have, every skeptic I speak with, and, you know, I still meet quite a lot, I ask them to do this, and they always come out quite interested in the tool after that.

An example I can give you is I worked with lawyers. Gosh, lawyers are an interesting crowd, because obviously, they’re very critical for really valid reasons.

And I always tell them, “Look, take a case that you have that you can share publicly, take a response that you have written or something that you’ve produced, and just ask for three things that you’ve done well and three things that you could potentially improve and how.” And, usually, they get one thought, and they’re like, “Huh, I haven’t thought about it. Interesting.”

Then they might decide not to use it. That’s up to them. But having a really expert second opinion with a one-minute effort and for free, honestly, “Where do I sign?” It’s amazing, isn’t it?

Pete Mockaitis
Yes. And I’m thinking about, when you said expert opinion, it’s funny, when I heard that, I reacted a little bit because I’m thinking about Sam Altman talking about, you know, doing his very Sam Altman storytelling thing that he’s good at. Talking about the release of GPT-5, it’s like, “You know, before it was like you’re talking to a high schooler. And now it’s like you’re talking to a PhD in any area.”

And so, I was like, “Hmm, this is really not my experience at all, good sir.” But I think it’s expert in the sense that it’s been around the block. It’s like, “Yo, I’ve read the whole internet, okay? So, in that sense, I’m expert.” And I’m thinking about, there’s this book called Obvious Adams. It’s all about thinking, “Well, what would be the most obvious thing?” Or, Tim Ferriss says a question, “What would this look like if it were simple?”

That’s often my experience is it says the thing that’s not crazy, innovative, and brilliantly never before seen, but it’s like, “Huh, I probably should have thought of that, but I didn’t, and you did. And because you’ve surfaced that, we’re moving this forward, and that’s helpful. Thank you.”

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, absolutely. So, I think one thing that is really not intuitive is that AI sometimes feels extremely smart and sometimes feels extremely dumb. And it’s really hard to predict, whether for my specific task is going to be, you know, the former or the latter, like, “Is this a 10 out of 10 question or is it going to be a one out of 10 question?”

There was this famous viral thing, viral experiment that came out, which is if you asked AI to count how many Rs are in the word strawberry, it would just say two, and there are three, right? I think a five-year-old can do that, probably, you know, but AI can’t do that. But, hey, it can write a pretty good legal letter for, you know. It’s just like so weird. It’s like it can do math, it can write code, but then it can’t count Rs in the word strawberry. Like, what is this?

And I think we just need to understand that it’s called artificial intelligence, but it’s not intelligent in the same way that humans are. It’s a different kind of intelligence. It processes data in a different way. It’s really hard to just give people a sort of like cookie cutter, very simple rule of thumb to understand when you’re in a good space to ask questions to AI and when not.

You just need to develop a little bit of sort of a gut feeling for, “Hey, this is something where I might get something good, and this is something where I might not get something good,” but there are guidelines. And the guidelines are, there was this research done by Harvard Business School, and they basically came up with a very simple classification of skills that AI has, so to say, AI capabilities. They call them within the frontier skills.

And these are four, very simple. Copywriting. AI is amazing at taking text and just turn that into other text. Now, a professional copywriter might argue whether that’s good copywriting or not. That’s a different conversation, but it’s amazing at just manipulating text, writing poetry or, think about this. It can write poetry and a legal document. I can’t do either, okay? So, it can do all these things. So that’s the first one, copywriting.

Second one is persuasiveness. So, it can write pretty good arguments if you ask it to, which is interesting. The third one is they call it analytical thinking. And it’s quite interesting if you give it a complex problem, and if you ask it to analyze it, it can give you recommendations or different ways to look at it.

And that’s the example that I gave you before, right? If you give it something that you have produced, legal letter, interview questions, whatever, and you say, “Tell me three things I have done well, three things I could improve based on the context,” it does it really well. So, this sort of like analysis, analytical capabilities.

And the fourth one is creativity. Now, people argue whether that’s real creativity or not. I don’t want to get into that philosophical conversation, but from a pragmatic point of view, it is quite creative, honestly. I had this thing a few days ago where I had a framework that I came up with to support companies in finding use cases for AI. And I was like, “How do I call this thing?

And I just gave it to GPT-5 Thinking, and I said, “Just please come up with an acronym.” And I would have never come up with any of them. It was super interesting and creative and it worked quite well. So, these are four things where you can feel quite confident. So analytical thinking, copywriting, persuasiveness, and creativity.

Now they also found where AI does not perform well at all. And that’s when you’re asking it to give you a recommendation, analyzing a bunch of different conflicting pieces of evidence. Let me give you an example. What they did is they took a few researchers, sorry, a few consultants from Boswell Consulting Group.

They took these consultants and they asked them to analyze a bunch of evidence of different strategies that a business might decide to go for to launch a new product, okay? Three different strategies. There’s a PDF with a bunch of interviews. There’s an Excel sheet with a bunch of numbers. All of these things, you need to look at this evidence and ask AI to help you in identifying the right strategy.

What they found is consultants perform better if they did not use AI to come up with the right strategy. Why did that happen? Well, because when you have conflicting evidence, conflicting pieces of information, in this case, imagine data said, I’m just coming up with stuff now, data said that sales were going up. But in an interview, somebody’s sales are going down. There was this conflicting piece of evidence.

AI was basically just like going with one. It was really hard for the AI to understand what was true and what was not. Whereas, for humans, it just made more sense to, for instance, look at Excel sheet, but ignore the interview because they thought maybe this person doesn’t know, doesn’t have the most updated data, for instance, that’s an example. So, AI was just like misled by the data that you provided.

Unfortunately, that’s how a lot of people use AI. A lot of people use AI today this way. Get a bunch of PDFs, a bunch of data, a bunch of emails, a bunch of stuff, throw it in, and they just ask for a quick answer to the problems. AI doesn’t work that well when you provide an insane amount of information and just ask, “Hey, tell me what I should do.” You should go step by step. You should use it to, again, amplify your thinking.

So, a better way would be, put this data in and say, “Hey, can you summarize the key takeaways from each one of these documents?” You take them and then you say, “Okay, what might be a good strategy? What might be good arguments for strategy one? And what might be good arguments for strategy two and strategy three?”

You see how you’re using it as a co-pilot. And that’s a really good branding from Microsoft, by the way. You’re using it as something that assists you in thinking rather than a, “Hey, I’m going to throw all my data. Just go ahead and do my thing. I’m lazy. I’m just going to copy your output and give it to my boss, you know.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, I like that a lot. And, in a way, it really makes sense that it is that way because it just says, “Hey, I just know what words mean and what words tend to come after and next to other words. I don’t actually know that some dude’s opinion is of less importance and should be given less weight, gravitas, than a summary sales data reflective of millions of transactions.

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, and it’s sycophantic as well, so it’s trying to please you. Imagine like, you know, you go to a doctor and say, “Hey, I have some headache,” and the doctor tells you, ‘Get this. Get this pill and just go.” Well, that’s not a good doctor. You should ask a little bit more questions and trying to understand.

What AI, and this is improving by the way, but historically, has been trained and, you know, it’s used to just get an answer. And so, if you provide maybe conflicting piece of information, as we said in the case study before, it’s just going to try to give you an answer rather than pushing back. And I go back to what I was saying before. This means that the tool is powerful, but it all comes down to the mindset that you have when you use it.

Do you want to have quick answers and you just want to get as fast as possible to a bunch of texts you can send to your boss or you can publish on LinkedIn? It’s probably going to just boost your laziness and just not get anything high quality. But if instead you use it as an amplifier for your curiosity, for your expertise, for your capabilities, well, now we’re talking. Now you can really get to some amazing outputs.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes, I like that a lot, the amplifier. And it’s interesting, is sometimes, I think when you look at the prompt that you’re sharing, it really does kind of garbage in, garbage out, and it’s the opposite, you know, magnificence in, magnificence out. So, I could say, “Hey, give me some information about sleep apnea.” And so, it can say, “Oh, well, this is a common affliction, blah, blah, blah.”

But then what I’ve said is, “Show me the results of several human randomized control trials that utilize novel interventions for the treatment of sleep apnea, i.e., not a CPAP machine. And give me a summary of the quantified impacts associated with the apnea hypopnea index reduction associated with each.” Now that, and sure enough, that has led me to some interesting places. And I found this thing called inspiratory muscular training. You breathe against resistance. And what do you know, that really helps.

Gianluca Mauro
Interesting.

Pete Mockaitis
And I’m not using a CPAP machine. So, thank you AI for putting me in some good directions. But I think it shows that, “Are we amplifying laziness or are we amplifying a targeted, ferocious curiosity?” Like, “No, find me precisely this, and then we can play ball.”

Gianluca Mauro
Absolutely. You’re spot on. It’s perfect. But, to me, the interesting thing about this whole concept is that there’s quite a lot of responsibility on the user.

It’s basically telling people, “Hey, if you don’t get the right output, it might not be because of the tool. It might be because of the way that you are using the tool,” which from one point of view, I think is empowering because it’s basically telling me, “Hey, amazing, I have some agency over the output that I get.”

But from the other point of view, I think some people might find it a little bit stressful, “Now I need to learn about A, B, C, D, all these different things so that I can actually use this machine well.” Well, yes, but at the same time, honestly, as I was saying before, it’s about changing habits. It’s not that hard. You don’t need to get a PhD in Math to understand how to use one of these tools.

And so, what I recommend to people who might feel a little bit maybe overwhelmed, or maybe afraid that you’re using it wrong, I always tell people, “Hey, find your little safe space to experiment. Take a hobby that you have. Maybe you’re interested in, I don’t know, Formula One.”

That’s one of the latest things that I’ve been nerding about. And just go and try to do your researches and prompts and test things about Formula One that’s maybe not related to your job so you feel safe. There’s no fear of putting sensitive information into these tools, and just try to get a sense of how the tool might be helpful and useful for you in a setting where you’re free to experiment. And then you can take all these learnings and apply them to your job.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so you are somewhat famous for your CIDI framework – context, instructions, detail, and input. And it sounded like you were giving us exactly that in the context of, “Hey, give me some feedback on a thing.” And so, can you give us a little bit of detail for how we might think about applying this in all kinds of different ways?

Gianluca Mauro
Absolutely. So, the CIDI framework is a framework that I came up with, I think, a couple of years ago, maybe. And my objective was to find a simple recipe to get people to think about their prompts in the same way that I think about my prompts.

And so, it’s quite simple. It starts with C stands for context. Tell me who you are. Why are you doing this task and what do you need to do? Just try to make AI get into the zone of, “What are we talking about?” Think about this, AI might act like a lawyer, might act like a doctor, might act like anything, right? So, you need to zone in.

The second part is instructions. When I say instructions, it’s important that you’re very clear, and you’re talking to a thing, not to a human so you can be very direct. And I typically give my instructions this way, “I will tell you this, you will do that.” “I will give you an email I wrote, you will give me feedback on it.” That’s the instructions part.

The third part is details. Details are, basically, I look at it this way, it’s very simple, “Explain what good means for you. What does a good output look like for you?” And that’s an interesting question. I feel like it’s almost meditative. It’s almost like therapy. You need to ask yourself, “What do I want? What do I really want? How does a good podcast script look like? How does a good LinkedIn post look like?” And just describe it in plain words.

Pete Mockaitis
Or, I guess this could also be examples, like, “And here are three instances that I consider good.”

Gianluca Mauro
You got it. That’s the part of the prompt where you might want to put, for instance, something you’ve done in the past, and say, “Hey, look, this is something that I consider to be really good,” or, “This is something that represents my tone of voice, and I want you to try to replicate that.” That’s the details part.

And the last part, the input, is when you put actually what you need to produce. So, for instance, if you need to have feedback on a legal document, you put it all the way at the end. The reason why I structure it this way – context, instructions, details, and input – is that it’s very easy to reuse.

So, if I write a really good prompt that explains exactly who I am in the context and what I need to do, exactly what I want out of it in the instructions, in the details, and then the input is, let’s say, this legal case that I need to analyze, the next time I have a new legal case to analyze, I just need to replace the last part of my prompt. The first part of the prompt, the context, instructions, and details are the same.

So, it makes you, number one, think about all the important things in a prompt and leaves really little room for error, because you need to think about all of them – context, instructions, details, and input. But it also makes your work scale a little bit. Because some people, and I get it, get stressed, “I need to write a good prompt. How long is it going to take me to explain who I am, what I need to do, yadda yadda, yadda. What does good look like?” I understand it can be a little bit of a pain if you want to write a really long and cohesive and complex prompt.

But if you write it this way, then it’s very simple to reuse. And that’s your copywriting podcast guy. That’s a perfect example. I think he was prompting, using, maybe without knowing, but he was using that sort of structure, it sounds like, because he had some things that you could probably copy and paste again.

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. I think it is John Morrow is his name, and we’re going to include that in the show notes. Indeed, the context is, “Hey, we’re a sales letter for this product for, you know, which serves this user with these needs, wants, concerns, who use language like this.” And then the instructions are, “Write the headline of a sales letter.”

The details are, “Here are some other headlines that we think are fantastic, as well as the general guidelines of copywriting that we find to be effective in this industry.” And that might be hundreds or thousands of words, and that’s acceptable, right?

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, I mean, always try not to go too crazy because then it becomes too much context, right? I think AI could maybe process it, but I always say, you know, if you try to put too much stuff and you’re not fully sure about what you actually put in, then you might have added something that is actually misleading. So, try to keep it in check. Don’t put too much if you don’t know what you’re putting in. But, yes, conceptually makes sense.

Pete Mockaitis
And to that point with the context, I mean, I believe, you know, we’re like a hundred thousand plus tokens. So, is it your professional opinion that, okay, you might have a hundred thousand tokens, but don’t use 50,000 words? Or, what’s your take?

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, so, I mean, for people who don’t know what tokens are, tokens are basically AI breaks down your messages into parts, parts or tokens. So, if I say, for instance, “Hello!” it might be two tokens, “Hello” and the exclamation mark. And there’s something the AI models have called a context window, which is basically how many tokens they can take a look at, at once. And I think GPT-5, the latest model from OpenAI, is at 400,000 tokens. Some models are up to one million tokens.

So, while you can add a million PDFs and resources into a prompt, then you risk getting into a situation in which you’re adding, if you’re adding not high-quality context, you’re just misleading your model. An example that I always make is the following. You go to a doctor and you say, “Hey, as I said before, I have a headache. What do I do?” That’s way too little context.

But if you say, “Hey, I have a headache. Let me tell you my medical history. When I was two years old, I once fell and hit the knee on the floor, and it was really painful. Then when I was three years old, I once ate spoiled milk. When I was four years…” that’s too much. You’re just confusing your doctor, right? So, you want to try to select some context that might be relevant.

Because, again, you never know if you’re just putting something that is just misleading or it’s just not very relevant to your question. Don’t stress too much about not putting enough but also don’t go crazy.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I guess what I’m saying is, what I want your professional judgment on is, if I throw in the full transcript of a meeting, or a book, you know, is that likely to help or hurt me or under what context?

Gianluca Mauro

Oh, I do this all the time, by the way. Like, if I take the whole transcript of a meeting, and I need to write a sales proposal, transcript of the meeting, the whole thing, because it’s all relevant. It’s my meeting with a customer, it’s all relevant. And I take that, I take an old proposal that I wrote, and say, “Adapt this proposal to the context of this meeting.” That’s perfect. But think about what I added in. I added only relevant material for my task.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s helpful. You mentioned it’s bad at analyzing conflicting information. And I’m thinking, sometimes it also seems bad at giving me precise pinpoint pieces. For example, if I say, “Give me verbatim quotations of something,” it seems to really struggle.

And maybe it’s just trying to not violate a copyright or something, but I feel like the more I want it to be super precise, specific, narrow, exact, data point or quotation, it seems to struggle.

Gianluca Mauro
Yes, and you will be correct in saying that. And, I mean, there’s a technical reason why this is happening. It’s just in the way that these tokens are processed. It’s basically making a big average of everything that it has read up to that point. But conceptually, you can look at it this way. This is not a truth machine, okay? This is not like a search engine.

A search engine takes a bunch of data, the entire internet, and it just points you to the right point. It tells you, “Hey, this is the link that it’s the most relevant to your query.” This is not that. A good way that I look at AI is it’s a compressor of knowledge. It took all the knowledge of the internet, compressed it into a thing. And then when you ask questions, it can decompress it and give it back to you.

So, what this means is that sometimes you lose some information in that, say, decompression. And I mean, I think this is a metaphor that is, really, maybe it makes sense just to people who are into audio and this sort of stuff because you have this thing. You’re losing quality as you compress it. It’s the entire internet, but you can just like quit it like this in a second. So, you lose a little bit of quality. And so sometimes you have these errors. But I have to say it’s improving really fast.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, is there anything else that it’s bad at?

Gianluca Mauro
I think a good way to look at this is thinking that it’s an amplifier, okay? So, it’s bad at telling you, “Hey, what you’re doing, it’s not ideal.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, “You’re asking the wrong question,” you know?

Gianluca Mauro
Exactly. It’s not going to do that, which is like, I think, the most important skill today is not being able to find answers. I think it’s being able to ask the right questions and being able to look at answers and be like, “Oh, this isn’t, actually, this doesn’t make any sense.” I’ll give you an example. I think this is quite funny.

I asked AI to give me feedback, as all of you know that I do that quite often, on a PowerPoint presentation that I created. But instead of, like, uploading the slides, I just took all the texts and I put that in. And in the feedback, it told me, “Hey, you’re not using enough visuals.” And I was like, “Of course, you’re telling me this. I didn’t give you the visuals. I just gave you the text.” It makes no sense, right?

But looking, you know, critical thinking, and this is a very simple example, but I had to take that piece of feedback. And even though the best top AI model in the world told me that I need to add more visuals, I discarded that feedback because I was like, “I know that you’re just lying to me. You’re just coming up with random stuff.” So that’s one important thing.

And, by the way, I think something that really scares me is a lot of people are using AI for almost as a therapist to get support in relationships with their loved ones. And, again, remember AI is sycophantic and it’s going to try to please you, so you’re always right. It’s really rarely going to tell you, “Hey, Gianluca, you know, your…”

Pete Mockaitis
“Your behavior is toxic and causing problems. Look in the mirror and fix it.”

Gianluca Mauro
Exactly. It’s always the other person’s fault. Yeah, I had this friend of mine who came to me, and was like, “Hey, I have an issue. Every time now I have an argument with my partner, she goes in a room and then comes back and has a perfect, like, perfectly phrased argument to explain to me why I’m wrong. And I know that’s coming from ChatGPT.”

So, she’s just getting in a room, and saying, “My boyfriend did X, Y, Z, you know. How can I just try to win this argument?” which, again, I think there is some value in that if you use it correctly. Again, I feel like I said it a few times, but I really want to make sure the audience comes back with this. Think about if you instead use it this way.

Go back to your room and say, “Hey, I had this argument. What might be the other person feeling that I’m not thinking about? What might be some blind spots that I might be having? What are things that I’m not considering when I’m accusing, I don’t know, whatever my partner of, X, and Z?” Now you’re actually going to use it as an empathy machine rather than as a, I don’t know, ego booster kind of thing, right?

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, well said. Are we amplifying the, “I’m right, they’re wrong,” make the case, or are we amplifying, “I’m trying to be understanding and compassionate”? And it will seek to please you. And so, yes, if we amplify the wrong thing, we’re just getting farther down a bad path.

Gianluca Mauro
Correct. And isn’t this cool? Like, the idea that I have so much agency and power over the outcomes of my use of AI, depending on how I use it, depending on the questions I ask and what hat I decide to wear on this day. “I want to wear the hats of the empathetic person who tries to understand what this person might be feeling.” I can have vastly different outcomes. I found this really empowering.

I understand it might be a bit scary, because it’s like, “It’s all of me?” Yes, I get it. But, again, if you have that approach of being curious and just trying different things out, I find that super empowering, honestly.

Pete Mockaitis

Cool. Thank you. Well, now I’d love to get your take in terms of, boy, there’s a lot of different chat bots and AI tools, if you want to do ChatGPT or Gemini or Claude or Grok. Is there a way, and this is going to change every few months but, you know, for now, is there a way you think about for certain use cases, “I prefer this tool over the others”?

Gianluca Mauro
Yes, but in a way that might be unusual for the audience to think about. So, I think about it this way. I think in my AI, I call it my AI tool stack, like all the tools that I use, I think about three main categories. The first one is generic AI tools. These are ChatGPT, Gemini, Copilot, Claude, Grok, basically these five. And, for me, it doesn’t matter too much which one you’re using. All have each respective strengths and weaknesses, but they’re all quite similar at the end of the day.

I personally use ChatGPT. That’s the tool that I started on. That’s just the tool that works the best for my use cases. But, again, I don’t have a strong argument for people to say, “You must use ChatGPT.” Use whatever you want. But the interesting thing is when I look outside of these generic AI tools and I start looking at specialized AI tools, and these are tools that are specifically built for one use case.

An example, I use a note taking tool called Granola, which I really love. I have a lot of meetings in my life, and Granola is specialized in note taking during meetings. Absolutely beautiful. And I’m not affiliated with Granola at all, so I can tell you there are other tools that do that as well. Otter is one. It’s pretty good. There are a few ones.

But, again, for me, who, I take probably too many meetings. Having a specialized tool for note taking during meetings is super valuable. But there are specialized AI tools for lawyers. There’s a tool called Harvey. There’s a tool in Europe called Legora that’s amazing. And these are specialized for lawyers. They give you a bit more features that you might be interested in. They’re a bit more accurate. They have maybe all the laws of a country already loaded in. You know, they’re more helpful.

I have a startup called Epiphany and I built a specialized tool for instructional design. It helps people who create training, create better training faster. And it’s really interesting when you start looking at those specialized AI tools, because, again, you might find something that, for you, specifically for you, can have a lot of value.

I know, for instance, there are tools for podcasters. Like Riverside has some pretty interesting tools to, like, repurpose content. You might find a lot. Curious to know if there’s anything that has really changed the way that you work in that space.

Pete Mockaitis

You know, it’s funny, we do a little bit here and there, but we’re actually still transcribed by humans, which could shock some people. So, we use it in specific, narrow targeted places, but, still, each episode is getting many, many human hours to put out the door.

Gianluca Mauro
And that’s perfect. Again, for me, what I advocate for is thoughtful AI use, not just like take it and put it everywhere. That doesn’t work for me. So, it makes total sense. But that’s the second sort of area that you might want to look at. So, pick one generic tool. That’s like saying Excel. You can use Excel if you do marketing, if you want to track your campaigns. You can use Excel if you’re in finance. You should use Excel if you’re in finance, but you understand where I’m going.

Same thing, ChatGPT or Gemini or Claude can be used by people in every single industry. But then look at those specialized AI tools that might help you even more.

And then the third area is those custom-built automations that you might want to build for yourself. That’s when we’re getting really nerdy, okay? But I love that. And the interesting thing is that the barrier for building your own custom automations has gone down so much. It’s crazy. There are all these AI no-code tools that allow you to plug different tools together so you can build an automation like, look, I’ll tell you one that we have in my company, in AI Academy.

Whenever somebody writes on our website, “Hey, I’m interested in a custom enterprise training.” There’s this custom automation that researches the company and just gives to our salespeople on Slack a message, and says, “Hey, this person has reached out. This is who this person is. This is what the company does. This is what they want.” Research is done already. It’s like a sales assistant, basically.

We built it ourselves. It took us, I don’t know, we know how to do it so it took us a couple of hours maybe, maybe three, I don’t know, something like that, okay? Hours, not days. All right? But we have seen people starting from very limited technical skills, being able to build those custom automations for their business or for their freelance profession in just a few weeks.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. That’s good. Well, talk about dorky, even though I am not at all a coder or a developer, my favorite YouTube channel is Fireship, which has all these jokes and stuff. And so, I’ve heard, I know a couple of the buzzwords associated with AI automation, like the MCP, the model context protocol, as well as the N8n.

Gianluca Mauro

Amazing.

Pete Mockaitis
And so, I know those are key words I might Google and research. But you tell us, if we are just starting to tiptoe down the, “Hey, I got a thing in my life I need automated. I think AI could probably do something about it,” what are the first steps to explore pulling that off?

Gianluca Mauro
Yeah, so I’ll just tell you basically how we help people go from, “I might want to automate something” to “I’ve built an automation.” And that’s just because we know that that’s a process that works. The first thing you have to do is understand what to automate, what not to automate. And it sounds very basic, but I guarantee you that’s where you decide if you’re going to be successful or not.

Most people want to automate too much. And then they start building spaceships that are never going to work, never going to give them the result they want. They’re going to get tired after some time when they try to build it and it doesn’t work, and then give up.

Instead I always tell people one day I’m make a T-shirt with this sentence, “Find the smallest possible thing that could possibly work.” The smallest possible automation that could give you some value. Start with that and then you can expand, all right?

The second part is don’t stress too much about the tools, you know, the N8n or Make.com or Crew AI, all these tools that are coming up, but try to write a pretty good prompt that should power your automation, okay? So, focus on the AI component, and find a way to test it well.

What do I mean by this? I’ll give you an example that I had. There was this one of our students, he was a doctor and he wanted to not just build an automation. He wanted to build a product to give to his colleagues so that they could easily write referral letters, okay? And so, he had to make sure that this thing worked really well because, again, doctors, you know, it’s a lot of responsibility.

So, what did he do? He just found a bunch of referral letters, or he wrote a few with ChatGPT, and he corrected them by hand. And that was his set of examples to test whether his prompts were actually producing something that was good enough.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, like, “Can the AI actually achieve the thing I’m hoping it to do? Let’s test that before I build out a whole thing and go oopsies.” Love it.

Gianluca Mauro
Correct. Another one of our students, I saw this last week, so I remember really well, did something to create LinkedIn posts. This guy works in marketing and risk is very low in that case. What’s going to happen if you publish a really bad LinkedIn post? I might get annoyed, but no one is going to die, right? But still what he did is he used his prompt to create a bunch of LinkedIn posts and then he wrote some and then he gave them to some of his friends and said, “Hey, which one do you like the most?”

And he tried that with a few different prompts, with a few different models. He tried with GPT-5, he tried with Claude, he tried with Gemini, and then he just found the best. And then he knew, he had the confidence that this automation was going to work because he had done the work of testing it and collecting the data.

After you’ve done this, step three is now, build your automation. And, you know, there are different tools that are pretty good at this.

Make.com is one that I really like. I use it a lot. Zapier is probably the easiest one to use. If you want to get started and don’t want to waste too much time learning how to use slightly more sophisticated tools, Zapier is a great place to start. N8N is probably the one that gives you the most flexibility on things that are the most capable. And I like that a lot as well.

But again, does it matter? Not really. At the end of the day, if you had a good idea about what to automate and there’s real value, then you can just swap tools and you’re going to be good. So, I suggest that that’s the last thing that you start thinking about.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. Well, shoutout to Zapier. We had Wade Foster. Or is it Zapier? I don’t know. Zapier or Zapier, we had Wade Foster on episode 466 back in 2019, and they are still going strong.

Gianluca Mauro
Amazing. Super strong.

Pete Mockaitis
Good, handy stuff there. All right. Well, Gianluca, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about a couple of your favorite things?

Gianluca Mauro
No, I think we’re good.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now can you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Gianluca Mauro
I wish I could say who it comes from, but it unfortunately comes from a random guy on the internet. And the quote is, “The hardest part of getting what you want is figuring out what that is.”

Pete Mockaitis
I dig it. And can you share a favorite study or experimental or piece of research?

Gianluca Mauro
I will share the research that I was talking about before, the one from Harvard, where they looked at all the different capabilities of AI. And the name of the research is “Navigating the Jagged Technological Frontier: Field Experimental Evidence of the Effects of AI on Knowledge Worker Productivity and Quality.” It’s really cool, still very relevant from a couple of years ago, but, honestly, I still quote that, basically, in every workshop that I do because it’s really valuable.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite book?

Gianluca Mauro
Ruined by Design.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Gianluca Mauro
Another tool that I started to use recently is a tool called Wispr Flow. It’s quite interesting. It basically allows you to dictate and it just puts whatever you said into a box. But again, it uses AI to just change that a little bit so that it’s, first, it’s formatted already.

So, when you’re writing emails, you might want to just record and say what you want to say, and say, “Here, I want some bullet points,” and you’re going to see the bullet points. I’ve been using it for a couple of weeks and I might see that becoming a key part of my tool stack.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Gianluca Mauro
You can go on GialucaMauro.com. That’s G-I-A-N-L-U-C-A-M-A-U-R-O.com or on AI-Academy.com where you can see all of our trainings so you can get better at AI.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, this has been so fun. Thank you and good luck.

Gianluca Mauro
Thank you. Thank you for having me.