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Finding Fit Archives - How to be Awesome at Your Job

1122: How to Find the Work You’re Wired to Do with William Vanderbloemen

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William Vanderbloemen discusses how professionals can find both success and satisfaction in their careers.

You’ll Learn

  1. The one habit that puts you ahead of 90% of people
  2. How to learn what you don’t know about yourself
  3. The one skill to work on—regardless of your job

About William 

William Vanderbloemen has been leading the Vanderbloemen Search Group for 15 years, where they are regularly retained to identify the best talent for teams, manage succession planning, and consult on all issues regarding teams. This year, Vanderbloemen will complete their 3,000th executive search.  

Prior to founding Vanderbloemen Search Group, William studied executive search under a mentor with 25+ years of executive search at the highest level. His learning taught him the very best corporate practices, including the search strategies used by the internationally known firm Russell Reynolds. Prior to that, William served as a Senior Pastor at one of the largest Presbyterian Churches in the United States.

Resources Mentioned

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William Vanderbloemen Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
William, welcome!

William Vanderbloemen
Thanks so much, Pete. Appreciate you having me here.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to talk about some of your wisdom. Your book, “Work How You Are Wired,” great title, great messages. I want to kick it off right at the beginning, I’m intrigued, we’ve got right off the bat, chapter one titled, “Almost Everyone Hates Their Job.” What a bummer! Can you tell us, what’s the underlying research data for this assertion?

William Vanderbloemen
If you do a pretty thorough search, and we did, of reputable surveys, of really honest looks at happiness and engagement in the workplace, the resounding conclusion is most Americans hate their job.

And it’s probably also true globally, but most Americans hate their job. Not we’re mildly dissatisfied or we’re a little bit unengaged or when is hump day or that sort of thing. They really don’t like their jobs. And life is just too short to spend the majority of your waking hours doing something you hate.

And to add onto that, most Americans hate their job, most managers say their team is just okay. Now that’s a really messed up world, where you’ve got people that hate doing what they do and managers thinking on your best day you’re okay. Is it possible to find work that you enjoy and are good at?

That’s like the alchemy we were trying to study from an empirical, data-driven method to figure out, “Who is happy at their work and good at it? And how do we distill that into a pathway for readers to be able to find work they’re happy with?”

We wrote a book on how to behave at work and get promoted. It did wildly well. It’s called, Be The Unicorn. It’s like, “Wow, if I just do all this, I’ll get promoted,” and it works. However, if you’re getting promoted within a workplace that you don’t enjoy, that’s really not the whole ball game, you know, “What does it profit a man if they gain the whole world, but lose their soul?”

Pete Mockaitis
Yes. Okay. Well, so now I’m intrigued by the almost part. So I know that we’ve heard about the Gallup Engagement Study many a time on the podcast. It’s a favorite research piece to cite. So with that and other sources, are we looking, William, at 2%, 6%? How many people are digging their job and flourishing in it?

William Vanderbloemen

Yeah, not many. Not many that I can find. If you look at who’s disengaged, you’re going to find a widespread of this percent, that percent, but the majority is more than half. Some will go as high as three-fourths. So I guess you could deduce that less than half of people are really enjoying their job. And then you get to, “And are they any good at it?” It’s pretty small.

I run an executive search firm, which means companies hire us to find their best talent. And we’ve been doing it a long time. We would do a pretty high volume of that, so we have lots of data at our fingertips. And we went and found the people that are the absolute best at their job and happy with it, that we know, and I mean, like 30,000 of them.

And we tried to draw some common denominators about, “What work did they choose based on what kind of personality they have? And is there a way to distill that so that somebody reading could pick up a book like that, and say, ‘I need to find work that’s going to be fulfilling and make me feel good and that I’ll be good at’?” Because it doesn’t have to be that way.

And, thank goodness, we’re no longer in a day where you get one job out of high school, you stay with the company 55 years, you get some form of watch at the end, and, “Yay! Yay!” No, there’s a lot of career mobility. If you’re not happy, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Understood. Well, could you give us perhaps the overview mindset shift or perspective that we should take on as we’re exploring these kinds of questions?

William Vanderbloemen
Yeah, you need to get to know yourself. That’s it. Get to know yourself. Get to know what you’re good at and what you’re not. Get to know what you like, what you don’t. Get to know what gives you energy, what doesn’t. Know yourself. And that sounds so simple, but to go way back in the wayback machine, I don’t use my philosophy degree for a lot, but Socrates, maybe the founder of Western thought, his top teaching was, “Know thyself.”

And when we studied the 30,000, we called them unicorns because they just stand out in the crowd. They’re this kind of people. Pete, you ever get in an elevator and ride for 30 seconds with somebody on the elevator, and by the end of elevator ride, you’re like, “I want to know more about them. I want to sign up for their email list. I want to be a part of their…”?

Or, you run into them at a cocktail party, there’s something different about their countenance, right, and you want to engage. Those are what we call unicorns, and it bleeds over into work. They behave a certain way. They choose a certain type of work based on their knowledge of themselves. And what we found, when we studied these unicorns, is they have about 12 habits they follow that are not hard to follow, but very few people follow them. And one of them is the practice of self-awareness.

Now, this is a little long, so stay with me just for a minute. But we surveyed the 30,000 unicorns we had, and we said, “Force-rank these 12 habits, what are you really good at and what are you not?” And the “What are you really good at?” was different all across the board because some people like speed, some people like studying methodically, people are wired differently.

But the one common denominator, when they’re force-ranked what they’re good at, the unicorns, the best of the best said that their worst habit of the 12 is self-awareness. Like, across the board, they’re all like, “I got to work on that.” Now, hold that thought.

We also surveyed a quarter million people, just Gen pop, you and me, everybody out there. And when it came to self-awareness, the average people, like me, 93% of us said we were above average in self-awareness.

Pete Mockaitis
Ninety-three percent?

William Vanderbloemen
Now I’m not a math major, but there’s not a group on the planet where 93% is above average. Average is 50% and half’s above and half’s below.

Pete Mockaitis
It’s like Lake Wobegon going on over here.

William Vanderbloemen
Right, people think they’re exactly, exactly. That’s exactly what it is. And the best way I can describe it is, do you remember the first time you heard your voice recorded?

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah.

William Vanderbloemen
Oh, it was terrible for me. I don’t know, how was it for you?

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, well, it was not pleasant. It was a voicemail situation, and that’s a whole other thing.

William Vanderbloemen
Oh, and you heard, and you’re like, “That’s not me.”

Pete Mockaitis
It was disappointing, like, “Oh, really?”

William Vanderbloemen
Yeah, I mean, I was like, “Who’s this guy talking, and why is his voice so bad?” And it was me. It’s that disconnect. People are not willing to take objective, hard looks in the mirror and see what they’re good at. If you really want to find work that you’re wired to do, you need to spend some time getting to know yourself on a, “How am I wired?” basis.

And the good news is we’re living in an age where you can find that stuff out quicker than ever, whether you use an Enneagram, or a DISC inventory, or Myers-Briggs, or what have you. You can figure out how you’re wired easier than any generation in human history. And if you’ll start there, get to know yourself, “What do you enjoy? What are you good at? What drains energy from you?” if you start to get to know yourself, you’ll be able to find work that you’re wired to do.

In the book, we took the 12 habits that unicorns practice, which is in the Be the Unicorn book, and we said, “This sounds like 12 lanes of work.” And, sure enough, it is. So, like, one of the habits is speed, “Do you get back to people quickly? Do you do it intentionally? Are you driven to go faster and faster?”

There are types of work that are really good at that – sales, marketing, executive assistant. That is speed driven. Neurosurgery is not, right? So you can have good, talented, smart people with different wirings that don’t need to be in certain kinds of jobs.

I sat with a friend of mine who actually is a neurosurgeon, and we met years and years ago. It was the first time I’d met with him. We went to a nice restaurant he picked for lunch. And let’s just call him Pete to save the identity, okay?

So, Pete sits down next to me, and the table gets set. I looked at my watch, he spent three solid minutes, arranging his forks and knives and silver just perfectly. And I just kept watching and watching. And, finally, he looked up and saw me watching him, and he kind of smiled, and I said, “Pete, have you ever considered studying OCD?”

And he kind of laughed and he looked at me, and he said, “William, here’s the thing. You want your neurosurgeon to be OCD.” And I was like, “You’re right.” So he understands himself. He’s in a field of work that requires that. He’s in one of those 12 lanes.

And the book is basically a 101 guide to saying, “How do I figure out myself enough to know which of these 12 lanes I’m most naturally wired for? And what are the jobs that really show up in those 12 lanes?”

Pete Mockaitis
Well, William, to rewind a smidge, that notion of self-awareness, it’s fascinating. We had Dr. Tasha Eurich on the show, and that’s one of her big pieces, is you’re not as self-aware as you think. And that is the case for, I guess, 93% of those folks there.

And it’s intriguing that the unicorns think their self-awareness is worst. The rest think their self-awareness is great. And so, it kind of speaks to that notion of the true master recognizes that there is much more to learn in a given domain. And it is the sort of amateur or intermediate who thinks, “Oh, yeah, I got all that figured out.”

So, I’m intrigued about that very notion, is that sort of, I’m sure there’s a riddle or a quotable gem about this notion that, “If you think you’ve got it all figured out, you sure don’t. And it pays to have some humility and dig deeper into gaining a greater mastery of that thing.”

William Vanderbloemen
And if you’ll just commit just a little bit of time to it, learning a little bit about yourself, you’ll be ahead of 90% of everybody. It doesn’t take a lot of work.  That’s the good news about these statistics. Just learn a little. It’s like I’m a level two sommelier. And level one, I thought I knew something. Level two, it’s like, I don’t know anything.

But by just getting to level two, where I don’t know anything, if I’m at a dinner party, I know way more than most everybody around the table. It’s the same with self-awareness. We’re so bad at it. If you’ll just get a little bit better, you’ll have a competitive advantage in all of your human relationships and definitely in finding work that you’re wired to do.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, so let’s talk about the self-awareness notion in terms of what does good self-awareness look like such that we might have a wake up call, and be like, “Oh, wow, William, I guess I’m not self-aware at all now that you mentioned it”?

William Vanderbloemen
Well, how about we do a little, here’s a fun little exercise. Nearly everyone, I think, listening has probably interviewed for a job where one of the questions is probably the one out of the gate is, “So tell me about yourself.”

It’s a pretty paralyzing question, “Okay, I came home from the hospital. I was born on a Saturday. I came home from the hospital on a Tuesday, I didn’t walk till I was…” I mean, does it need to be that thorough?

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, there’s a thousand directions you can take with that one. Yeah.

William Vanderbloemen
It’s so liberating, it’s paralyzing. How’s that? It’s not specific, right? So what if you did this instead? What if you said, “Tell me about yourself,” and I’m interviewing to work for you, Pete, and you’re running some really fast-growing podcast? I mean, Joe Rogan is nervous about you, right? So, like, you’re moving big time up the chart.

Pete Mockaitis
But more because of my ultimate fighting skills, William.

William Vanderbloemen
That’s right. Well said. So, you are interviewing me for a marketing position, and you said, “Tell me about yourself.” Well, this is very careful sentence, “Here’s what I’m learning about myself,” that’s interesting. Just steal that line, use it if you’re listening, “Here’s what I’m learning about myself.”

And that shows I don’t have it all figured out and I’m very aware of it. I am working on it. That’s great. Now what you can’t do is say, “Let me tell you what I’m learning about myself,” and then go into what you’re talking about with your therapist about childhood trauma, and, like, not that, right? That’s certainly something worth learning.

But in a job interview, what if you said, “Here’s what I’m learning about myself, Pete. I’m learning that, you know, on the Myers-Briggs, I’m a very high I. I like to plan the next party. And, you know, if you look at me on the Enneagram, I’m a seven. That’s like the social coordinator, the rush chairman. And what’s really interesting about people that are I’s and 7’s is they love trying new things. Okay, so that’s me.”

“If you look at my last three jobs, and where I’ve listed on my resume, the things I actually accomplished,” which, by the way, is a freebie thrown in there. Don’t talk about objectives in your resume. Talk about things you got done. “If you look at where I got the highest marks in my last three jobs, every single job, it was when the boss asked me to, ‘Go figure something out we’d never done before.’ That gives me energy, right?”

“What doesn’t give me energy is showing up at work and being told, ‘Do the same thing every day and make it a little bit better every day, same routine task and engineer it better.’ Like, I can do it, but I’m going to lose energy. You’re not going to give me a good review. Put me in a place where I’ve never seen it before and I have to. And I know that about me. I’m learning it. I’m a seven. I’m an I. I’m learning these things.”

“Let me tell you why I’m saying all this. I’ve looked at your company, Pete, you’re growing like crazy. It’s not just Joe Rogan. Mel Robbins is talking, too. They’re worried. And I’m guessing you, with all this world of algorithms and AI and marketing changing, you don’t need somebody who has a fixed playbook that’s going to come in and try and run it their way. You need someone who really enjoys the curiosity of trying to figure something out.”

“Someone who says, if you said, ‘Jump out of the plane and build a parachute on the way down,’ I would get excited about that. And I’m guessing that’s what your company’s facing. So what am I learning about myself? There’s a lot more to learn. But the way I’m wired might match the kind of challenges you’re facing with this job. And I’m super excited to dive into that with you today.” That’s a whole different way to answer.

And, by the way, you’ve just won the interview and you’ve prevented them from asking you the question, “Well, what is your greatest weakness?” I hate that question. So, does that help?

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. So, it’s ongoing. We’re learning about ourselves and, in so doing, there’s great stories to be told and matches to be found and options to be ruled out based upon what you’re seeing there. That’s super. So you mentioned the DISC, the Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, and those are cool. Do you have any other go-to approaches, methodologies, questions that are super impactful in terms of getting meaningful self-awareness upgrades?

William Vanderbloemen
Well, the main thing is do you have friends that will actually tell you the truth? I mean, that’s the ultimate test. And one of the ways you can look for that is, “Do your friends always tell you things you like or not?” My wife, I love her, there’s no one I’d rather spend time with on the planet than her. And I’m not saying that to be like saccharine or anything. It’s true.

And she tells me things I don’t want to hear every day. And it’s usually to pull something out of me, some self-awareness I need to develop. So, do you have friends who actually tell you things you don’t want to hear that you reflect back and say, “You know, they’re right about that”?

And then the second way is to use some of these inventories – DISC, Myers-Briggs, Enneagram. We developed one around these 12 lanes called the Vander Index, which will very quickly tell you, “Here’s my top lane of these 12, and where I probably ought to look first. And here’s my bottom one where I’m probably not going to be happy. And then some things in the middle that maybe are worth a look and maybe not.”

Pete Mockaitis
And I am digging the notion of you need friends to tell you the truth. You’re bringing me back to, in college, I was selected to be the student speaker at the College of Business Commencement ceremony at the University of Illinois, and that was kind of fun and cool and yay. But I played this joke on people, and they said, “Oh, you’re going to be the speaker. What are you going to talk about?”

And so I would do the shtick, and I’d say, “Okay, I got a crazy idea. All right, check it out. So people think graduation rite, it’s like the end? But, no, no, I’m going to flip it on its head and say, ‘No, check it out.’ Actually, it’s the beginning. And that’s why they call it commencement, right?” So that’s like super cheesy, been done way too many times speech.

And so, I like to mess with people by getting super fired up about it, right, just to see what they would do. And you could tell good friends, they’re like, “You’re joking, right?” That’s what a good friend says. And then the not-so-great friends are like, “Oh, interesting.” You know, they just sort of smile, nod, and move along.

So, I love that, is to have the friends and then to, you don’t have to subject them to joke tests. But I think it does pay to, and again, Dr. Tasha Eurich had a technique she called the Dinner of Truth, where you’re actually asking these good friends the key questions because they might not know that that feedback is welcome, needed, desired from you to go there.

William Vanderbloemen
And here’s a little secret, Pete. Maybe you’ve experienced it as well. I’ve had the chance to be around a lot of successful people, way more successful than I am. I’ve also been blessed to see this company grow more than I ever thought it would.

I think most uber successful people will tell you, “The more successful you get in life, the fewer people there are that will tell you the truth.” I have a friend who says, “The first day you’re the CEO is the last day you hear the truth because everybody wants to tell you how wonderful things are.”

My COO, and I hired her, said, “What’s the main reason you’re hiring me?” And I said, “To tell me the truth. Like, that’s all.” And she’s like, “That’s it?” I’m like, “That’s it.” So, as you, I imagine people were taking time to listen to your podcast are progressing in their career, they’re moving up.

Probably a lot of listeners, mid-30s or under, just realize, establish those friendships now before you hit the top of whatever ladder you’re climbing because once you get to the top, it’ll be very hard to find friends that’ll be honest with you.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, good friends, ask questions, take the Vander Index. Can you give us the rundown? What are these 12 lanes?

William Vanderbloemen
Yeah, sure. They are, we can start with the fast, because it’s my favorite. But, you know, the fast is people who respond and respond quickly and love doing it. Like, I probably ought to be in therapy. If you text me, it really doesn’t matter what time of day it is, I’m probably looking at it.

And I know that’s on the way out and the Brick is the thing everybody’s putting their phone on, all my kids want it, to disconnect from the addicted phone and all. But there is still an art. Business is won by speed of response. And there’s all kinds of research in the book to talk about it. But that’s one.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah, Jay Baer, on the show, talked about this. It could be huge, in sales particularly.

William Vanderbloemen
And it’s not hard. The reality is it’s just not hard, but very few people follow through on it. Very few, but that’s one. If you’re one that’s like, “I just need to get back to them real quick,” if you find yourself constantly answering a text, that might be a sign that you’re one of the fasts.

And rather than run through all of them, I’ll give you just a couple others. The prepared is another one. And it’s almost the opposite of the fast. The prepared is someone who comes to work with everything neat. Like, my wife’s pantry is this way. She is prepared. Everything is in the same place. And if we rent a house for vacation, the pantry gets set up pretty much the same way.

So there are some people like that and those are people that you want in compliance roles, train masters, brain surgeons, pilots. These are people that speed isn’t as important as quality control.

Another habit that I’ll just hit on real briefly is some people have a lane where their work needs to matter more than just what they get to do. Like, I love selling stuff. I always have. I am a salesperson at heart. However, if I were selling something that didn’t leave the world better than I found it, I’m not going to be as energized. We call it purpose driven. Are you driven by something higher than just getting the check?

And some people aren’t, or some people are, but just by little things. Some people are about giant things. If you are purpose driven and you go into a business with zero purpose, you’re going to be very, very unhappy. Authenticity is another one. Do you have to be authentic? Is that who you are?

And not to use too many personal stories, but we had one of our seven kids that didn’t pass the Driver’s Ed test when it was time to go get the license. Like, they just messed up one turn. Perfect on everything but that one thing.

And they’re like, “Oh, my gosh, I don’t know what I’m going to tell my friends.” “Well, just tell them you’re taking the test tomorrow.” But that’s a lie, “Well, are you taking the test tomorrow?” “Yes, but it’s not telling them I failed today.” Like, this particular child is very authentic, “I’m not going to hide the truth.” You know what she would be terrible at? Politics.

Pete Mockaitis
Politics.

William Vanderbloemen
She’d be horrible at it. Because there is, you say, “Well, politicians are disingenuous.” Actually, to run for president of the United States, you have to know how to talk to people in Yakima, Washington, which is way different than Seattle, Washington, and in Illinois, which is way different than in Texas. And so you have to mold and adapt and shift.

And people who are very driven by authenticity will not do well in that role, nor will they do well in a sales role. There are other jobs for them. And the cool thing about the book is we actually unearthed jobs that you would think all the jobs that are listed are CEO, CFO, COO. No, no, no, no, no.

Mailman is in here. Like, things, brick mason, which is a great career to go into right now for a whole lot of reasons, not the least of which is AI. But there are clear examples within each lane. You should read the chapter about a lane and say, “That’s me.” You don’t have to go take a test. “That is actually who I am. Okay, here’s the kind of work I need to look for. Here’s the kind of work that’s going to make me crazy.”

So, hopefully, within each, and you can read them in any order, but by the end of the book, you should find one, two, or maybe three of these lanes that are like, “I was made for that.” And one, for sure, and maybe two, I don’t know about three, that you’d say, “I don’t ever need to go near work like that.” Because you can behave well at work and be awesome at your job and hate it, and what’s the point if you don’t enjoy what you’re getting to do?

Pete Mockaitis
Well, William, I dig this. So fast, prepared, purpose-driven, authenticity. Could you share one that’s maybe surprising? Like, folks say, “Huh, that’s a strength, that’s a lane I can lean into? I thought I was just weird”?

William Vanderbloemen
Yeah, well, there’s something about curiosity that is a lane for work, it’s a habit of unicorns, and it’s a bit counterintuitive to how a lot of people were raised. I was raised, “Don’t ask too many questions. Do what you’re told and you’ll do well at your job.”

In today’s world, you need to always be asking questions. You need to always be curious, “Why are we doing it that way?” The greatest value add of a longtime employee is their institutional memory which cannot be transfused in a day, right? But the greatest gift of a new team member is their ability to look at how we do things, and say, “Well, why do we do it that way? Why don’t we do it that way?”

The curious, who are always looking and always shifting and always asking the why, that might have been out of favor in an old-school world. But now that we’re in an open source, AI-driven world, it is everything. And one other that shows up that it’s not counterintuitive, but there’s a counterintuitive piece to it is agility.

There’s a lane for people who want to try new things. They’re always learning a habit or a hobby or something. The unhealthy version of it is the person who you say, “So what’s your favorite book you ever read?” And they say, “Oh, I just finished it.” And you ask them six months later, “What’s your favorite book?” “Oh, I just finished it.” It’s almost like a shiny object thing.

But the agile are the kind that can…I hate this word. It’s been five and a half years since the shutdowns and I still can’t hear the word pivot without thinking it’s a four-letter word. But people who can pivot will own the future because the world isn’t just changing annually now. It’s changing minute by minute with technological advances and such.

And here’s the surprising piece about agility, okay, “Oh, William, that makes sense. Agility, that’s a no-brainer.” Agility atrophies. It goes away a little bit every single day. And here’s the living example of that. I’m a jogger or a runner, it’s probably a matter of opinion, but I got into my 40s and I had to start stretching so I didn’t get injured. I hate doing all this stretching and preparation and I just want to go run.

Well, the stretching turned out to be harder than the running. And one time I was stretching, trying to touch my toes, and our littlest one walked in, and she sat down next to me, she tied herself into some form of human knot, and she untied herself, looked up at me, smiled, laughed out loud, left the room without saying a word. Just making total fun of me, because little kids can bend more than super Stretch Armstrong, right?

And as she left the room, it dawned on me, “Little kids can stretch, old men can’t.” Every day I’m alive, I get less flexible. So even if you’re naturally wired for agility, you have to work on it or it goes away. Every day a team is alive, it gets less flexible. Every day a company is alive, it gets less flexible. This is like a law of thermodynamics.

So the surprise about agility is not that it’s one of the lanes that you’d be looking at. The surprise is, even if you’re good at it, you’ve got to keep working at it. And if you’ll work just a little tiny bit every day, you’ll be way ahead of people as you get farther down the career road.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that’s interesting. In some ways, it’s sort of inversely correlated with wisdom because it’s, like, you do some things, “Hey, that worked great. Let’s do that next time,” “Hey, that worked not great. Let’s not do that next time.”

And so then, over time, you’ve got a series of associations and memories in terms of, “This is good. This is bad,” “That works. That doesn’t work.” And then you’re naturally, I felt it in myself. I’m naturally less inclined to go try that wild thing. It’s like, “Hmm, that seems a lot like these other four things I’ve tried that didn’t work. So I don’t think I want to do that.”

William Vanderbloemen
But the pace of change, I read a study some years back that said there’s been more change – this is pre-pandemic – more change in the last 10 years than in the hundred years prior technologically. And now we’re on the other side of a pandemic, and we’re into the AI world. And the study went on to say, “More change in the last 10 years than the hundred prior. And the next 10 are going to make the last 10 look slow.”

So even if you aren’t working in a job where agility is your main lane, everyone needs to work on their agility because the world, where everything stays the same, first of all, it never existed. But, secondly, if it did exist, it exists a little less each day. The rate of change is growing. My personal ability to adapt to change is shrinking. And no matter what kind of job I’m doing, I’ve got to do everything I can to narrow that gap.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, William, tell me, anything else you really want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

William Vanderbloemen
No, I would just say, if you’re interested at all in these things, you can just go to Vanderbloemen.com. You don’t have to know how to spell it. Just try in whatever search browser you use, and you’ll find us. And there are probably five or 6,000 resources on how to be awesome at your job, how to win at work, how to manage employees, how to ask for a raise. There’s lots of stuff there that might help people past the two books we’ve talked about.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

William Vanderbloemen
“Know thyself.”

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

William Vanderbloemen
The easy answer is go read Atomic Habits. There’s great stories in there about how to build habits. And I think probably 15 million people have done that now, so it’s doing all right as a book.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

William Vanderbloemen
I have made a switch to trying to write things down rather than type them, and to try and be more present with people. So I have ditched the laptop in meetings now and I’m using reMarkable. I don’t know if you know this device.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah.

William Vanderbloemen
It’s a Notepad that feels like paper and then it uploads straight. It digitizes everything and it uploads straight into my Google Drive. I have all my notes from all my meetings, and I’m writing. And it’s, like, if you don’t have that laptop open.

It’s like the Simon Sinek talk, where he’s like, “Hey, let me show you the difference between distracted and not.” And he talks to people, and he says, “Now, you in the front row, give me your phone.” And he just holds it, and he says, “I’m not looking at this. Do I feel more or less engaged with you right now?” And, of course, the answer is less.

So I’m trying to remove things that make me less engaged with people, and one of those is the screen. It makes it hard to get back to people with a text within a minute, but I use my little reMarkable in every meeting now.

And I’ve heard it, growing up, I’m actually believing it more than ever, “What’s written is what’s remembered.” So the actual slowness of writing out each letter instead of typing 120 words a minute, there’s something to that that ingrains it in my brain, and I’m hoping it makes me more engaged and present with folks in the coming years.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks, you hear them quoted back to you often?

William Vanderbloemen
We have nine core values. They’re built around how we behave. One is called ridiculous responsiveness, and it’s just the power of getting back to people quickly and intentionally. And it’s in both books. You can read about it.

And I’ve had people say, “I took our whole staff of 500 people through the first chapter of Be the Unicorn and we built an entire strategy on getting back to people quicker, and it changed our business.” Like, over and over and over, I’m hearing people quote ridiculous responsiveness. I don’t know whether we came up with it or not, but it’s what I hear.

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

William Vanderbloemen
Try spelling Vanderbloemen into any search engine, you’ll find it.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

William Vanderbloemen
Yeah, just get to know yourself. And that sounds selfish. It’s not. Once you know how you’re wired, you’ll know where you’re going to flourish the best.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. William, thank you.

William Vanderbloemen
Thank you, Pete. Appreciate you having me on.

1116: How to Take Control of Your Career with Confidence with Kimberly Brown

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Kimberly Brown shares practical steps on how to take charge of your career and steer it with intention.

You’ll Learn

  1. The framework for improving your reputation
  2. How to cultivate relationships that advance your career
  3. How to identify and amplify the one thing that makes you stand out

About Kimberly

Kimberly Brown is a globally recognized career and leadership strategist, bestselling author, and international keynote speaker. As the founder and CEO of Brown Leadership®, a premier learning and development firm, she helps mid-career and senior professionals amplify their brands, accelerate growth, and drive performance. Her bestselling book, Next Move, Best Move: Transitioning Into a Career You’ll Love, has empowered thousands to take control of their careers with strategy and confidence. 

She also hosts the Your Next Move Podcast, where she shares actionable insights on career advancement. A trusted expert, Kimberly’s work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Forbes, CNBC, NPR, and more. Find her online at kimberlybonline.com and brownleadership.com and follow her (@kimberlybonline) on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Threads.

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Kimberly Brown Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Kimberly, welcome back!

Kimberly Brown
Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited to be here again.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to chat. We’re talking about reputation and legacy. Could you start by sharing what do you think is the top mistake most people make when they’re thinking about building reputation?

Kimberly Brown
I think the first big mistake folks make is that they think reputation is just tied to execution. And I think, earlier on, I think folks are just really focused on task execution, “I got A, let me finish it. Okay, now we’re going to do the next thing. Now we’re going to do the next thing.” And they don’t think about the personal side of their reputation, how people feel when they’re around them.

And then I think the other side is exactly the opposite. Some people think that their personality, that the relationship can supersede not doing great work. But I think that not doing great work catches up over time. And people are always surprised when that happens. Like, “Oh, I know, but we were so good. Like, I thought we had a great relationship. Like, we get along.”

But it’s like, “No, they can’t trust you because the work quality is poor.” I think it always ends up being on both sides of the coin, that people don’t consider bringing both of those together. You have to do great work, but also have the great relationships and how you make people feel matters in that reputation as well.

Pete Mockaitis
Tell us more about how we make people feel. It’s interesting because I totally know what you mean, in that working with some folks is a delight and working with others isn’t. And it’s not that folks are being total jerks. You know, there’s no screaming or outrageously, clearly, bad problematic behavior but, overall, there are vibes in terms of, “I really enjoy being on that team, and I really don’t enjoy being on that team.” So, what’s behind the vibes?

Kimberly Brown
So, I think when we break down executive presence, I think that’s where it comes in. And, again, this is another term that people here, don’t necessarily know what it is. But when I teach executive presence, I say that it’s the gravitas, it’s communication, and it’s your appearance. And the vibes you’re talking about is that gravitas. And I think that’s the most confusing part about executive presence.

But that gravitas is your approach. It’s how you talk to people. It’s how you interact. It’s how you respond to positive and negative feedback, how you give positive and negative feedback.

When I think about someone who really has that gravitas, it brings me all the way back to college. There was a, I think she was a provost at the time at the university, and she used to do these meetings with student leaders. And students would come and have these grandiose ideas of all the things they needed to do.

And it was the first time I saw someone get turned down, but it felt good. Like, it was clear that she wasn’t going to move forward, clear that she didn’t like the idea, but the way she thanked them for giving their feedback, the way she acknowledged their presence and allowed them to speak within reason about whatever they wanted, that was the first time.

I didn’t know it then, but I always kept that in mind that you could say no and it doesn’t have to be nasty. It doesn’t have to hurt someone’s feelings. And I think about that in the workplace when we think about how people feel. When I talk about your brand, I think about the moments people have with you.

So how do people experience you when you’re having a really good day, when you’re running late, when you just got terrible feedback and now you have to show up in another meeting, when you are giving feedback to someone who’s doing well, someone who’s doing poorly, when you are being super casual. I think a lot of folks mess up their reputation sometimes when things get a little casual after hours, happy hours, conferences.

I used to do a lot of work with sales organizations, and we used to joke at sales events, it’s like, “Hmm, many people will have their job after this conference?” Because when people get casual and alcohol, someone always ends up losing their job because they did too much in front of someone who was super senior who they didn’t recognize.

So, when we think about reputation and how people feel around you, it’s like all of those moments that you create, related to your work and unrelated to your work, “What is their overall feeling in being around you?”

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m curious, do you remember what this provost said, did, that made rejections feel just fine?

Kimberly Brown
I think it was the acknowledgement. So, my master’s is in counseling. So that whole like building rapport, reciting back what someone says for clarity, she did that consistently. How she responded to good ideas and bad ideas were exactly the same. I think a lot of times leaders, when they hear an idea that’s bad, they’d be like, “Oh, yeah, no.”

But she still gave them the same respect. She acknowledged, “Thank you for sharing.” She recited the idea to make sure she understood it. Sometimes she’d even explain, like, “Well, why this couldn’t work.” Or other times, if she needed to like wrap the conversation, like, “You know, I will get back to you on that.” And she always did. She just knew in that form it probably wasn’t the time to go into a deeper explanation. She just always gave people the moment and didn’t rush them.

Pete Mockaitis
You know, I’m thinking of the kookiest things connecting in my brain here. So, are you familiar with Nathan Fielder, the comedian?

Kimberly Brown
No, I’m not.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, he’s got a show called “The Rehearsal.” And so, it’s just thought-provoking. And he was exploring how people are interacting in different contexts and, specifically, in cockpits with co-pilots, and why the co-pilot doesn’t speak up when the other one’s making a terrible error. And so, it’s comedy, but it’s also like kind of high stakes.

And so that’s what he likes to do. He likes to confuse everybody with, “What are we doing?” But he had a situation where he was seeing how it is possible to reject people, but them to feel okay. And so, he is videotaping all this stuff and seeing all of these judges rejecting people for like an American Idol-type singing contest.

And it’s fascinating how it’s quite possible to do that. And he had a transformation where, and he gave a little speech about, “Hey, you know, unfortunately, we can’t make you move on, but I want to congratulate you because many people have this dream, but they stay in bed and you came out here, you waited in line, you showed up.”

And it was kind of inspiring in terms of, “That’s true.” And we all have that ability to take the other perspective and bring some good feelings and some acknowledgement about where folks are coming from, and what’s great about what they put forward. And it’s easy in our busyness to just kind of totally overlook doing that.

Kimberly Brown
Every single time. I tell folks, so many conversations in the workplace, we just need to slow it down. We just need to slow it down. We don’t give, especially tough conversations, the time that’s needed to do any of those things. It’s always like, “Oh, nope, onto the next. You did it wrong, fix it. It’s due tomorrow, figure it out.”

And if we give people just a little more time, not every situation is high stakes. I always tell people we’re not saving babies all the time. Like, the fate of the world is not in our hands nine times out of 10. Even if we feel like it is, most of the time it’s not, unless we’re like a doctor, right? So, we can slow things down a little bit to give people a little bit more time and give them a moment to process to feel the feels and then come back to the conversation later.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so can you share some specific actions that folks who are proactively thinking about their reputation, their legacy, and they want to make it great, what should they do in terms of surfacing these blind spots or some top best and worst practices to implement?

Kimberly Brown
Definitely. So, number one, I’d start with reviewing all the information you currently have. If you have formal performance appraisals, if you have anything documented, go through and really try to read it with an open mind. Now, I will be honest and I’ll be candid in that I know some people feel like the performance appraisal process doesn’t actually give them the thing. So, if you’re one of those people, just go right on to step two.

Step two, I want you to reach out to people who interface with you and your work. And I want you to think about various levels. So, I want top. I want people who are more senior than you, people who are at the same level, and people that are more junior. Because your reputation could be different at each level of how people see you based upon their experience.

And I want you to ask them simple questions. If you can do it in a meeting, even 15 minutes, that’s great. Some folks, they may want to do it over email. Some people I’ve seen do an anonymous Google Form, just so people can write in, “Can you describe my brand to you in three words? Can you give me an example of a situation that I handled really, really well, or an example of a situation that I didn’t handle so well?”

Other folks may like to do a start-stop-continue exercise and apply that to themselves. So, what do you need to start doing in your career and in your job? What do you need to stop doing? And what should you continue doing? So, essentially, what are the good things you’re already doing? So, when you get your feedback from either, you know, step one step two or both, and then I want you to sit and really think about, “Is how you’re showing up, is how people describe you congruent with where you’d like to go?”

One of the things I share with folks is how people describe you needs to be congruent with not only where you are, but aligned with the next logical step. People need to already see you there. So, if it’s congruent, you’re like, “Oh, how I feel like I am, what I want to do, this is aligned, great.” If not, we need to understand what those gaps are.

And then the last step I’d say is it’s time to connect with either a mentor or a coach of some sort. If you’re really conflicted and not sure what specific moves that you should make, this is a great time to bring all of this data, bring all of this information to a trusted mentor or coach, internal or external to your organization, and really work through what are the specific steps that you can take to rectify any image issues that you have.

And I think the secret that I tell folks who I work with is that when there is a gap, we have to think about, “What are the experiences tied to that gap?” So, for example, let’s say your reputation is aligned with being really short with your junior-level staff. They don’t feel like they’re coached by you. They don’t feel like they know who you are. They don’t feel mentored. They just feel like you are a task executor, “Do this, get out. Do this, get out.”

Then you’d want to think about, “So what are the moments that I’m interacting with my junior-level staff? And how can I provide a different experience in each time I’m interacting with them?” So, is it giving more time in your one-on-ones? Is it doing a little team outing? Is it scheduling dedicated career conversations?

What are the moments you need to kind of change what your image is, change what your reputation is, and then consistently do that, right? Because it’s not one time. It’s not something you can do one time and everything’s great. Someone needs to see consistent improvement in order for your reputation to actually change.

Pete Mockaitis
I want to zoom in on the simple question part. What are some best practices to make sure that folks actually give us the input and it’s actually true and real?

Kimberly Brown
That’s a hard one, right? And the caveat I’d always say is that every organization has a different temperament for feedback. So, I think that it’s best if you have a good relationship with a person, and you can really sit down and really position the conversation of, “I’m really working on my personal brand, and I’m working on bettering my reputation here. I really want to have an open and candid conversation about your experience with me, and make sure it’s as specific as possible so that I’m able to make some changes.”

So, I think setting the conversation up so someone knows that this is a safe environment for them to provide feedback. This is informal feedback. This is something that you’re taking upon yourself. I think that written feedback sometimes can be hard to get. It’s hard. People sometimes don’t want a paper trail of saying, like, “Hey, well, you messed up in this meeting. And in that moment, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.”

So, if you can have a conversation, even if it’s like a brief 15 minutes, and lead, try and lead as much as possible with giving them both positive and negative, “So, what are two characteristics about my brand that you’d say are positive, and two characteristics that you feel like need improvement? What is one situation I did really well? What is one situation where I did really poorly?”

And then kind of dig in, “So, what was it about that situation where I did poorly? What would you have liked to have seen? What behaviors would have been more helpful for you?” So, it’s kind of giving those follow-up questions to gracefully lead the conversation to get the information that you need. Getting feedback is probably one of the hardest things to get in the workplace, especially really specific, tangible feedback.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, absolutely. And I’m imagining that many of the people you’re having this conversation with are like, “Hmm, no one has ever actually done this with me as a conversation, outside of formal channels, in terms of, okay, sure. We have our regular performance review and this is a thing that happens. But in terms of here is, say, a peer, or even a more senior individual that I report to.”

I guess, as I zoom into that conversation, I’m imagining folks could quite likely have all sorts of guards up and not really give you the raw, dirty, ugly truth about yourself that you really need.

Kimberly Brown
Absolutely. I think that the basis, I think, for these conversations, it’s great if you already have an existing relationship. Ideally, you need some type of relationship because you’ve been doing work and they can answer questions about you. In the most ideal world, it’s someone who works with you frequently.

So, while the conversation is new, you can’t ask someone who really has an interface with you, someone who’s only managed you for a short amount of time. And I think it also could say something if people aren’t willing to have this conversation. So, then you got to keep on poking and try and find some folks who can. Find some folks who would like, “Do you know why so and so probably wouldn’t want to have this conversation with me?”

Pete Mockaitis
Could you tell us, perhaps in some good detail, a tale of someone who did just this and what they discovered and what they did differently as a result?

Kimberly Brown
So, I had a client of mine who is currently a director in big finance, and she was looking to move into a vice president-level role, which was a really big leap at that organization. And she had applied for, I think, two other VP roles, but things just weren’t landing. She was top two, but didn’t get the final offer. And she really had a hard time, again, getting feedback, asking like, “Was there anything else that could have been better?”

Asking the interview panels, asking people who were connected, and she wasn’t really getting anything tangible. It’s like, “You know, this person just was a little bit better or had a tinge more experience here.” It wasn’t anything that was like, “Why didn’t I get it?” It felt like they kind of tossed a coin and just decided on the other candidate.

So, when she came to me, she was very frustrated obviously, because going through these big searches, and the more senior level you go, the more time you invest multiple, multiple rounds of interviews and presentations, so she was exhausted. So, we kind of did what I call like a speaking tour or a listening tour about her.

We made a list of the key areas where she wanted to go in the organization, and there were two main areas. And then we took about 60 days for her to start to schedule conversations and ask some of the pointed questions, like, “What do you know about my brand? What have you heard about my brand? What do you feel is crucial to what you need in this level of the organization? If a role were to open here, what would you be looking for?”

And the combination of asking pointed questions about her and pointed questions about the organization and the type of roles that she’d be interested in, we were able to essentially take all this information, and be like, “Okay, this is how she’s seen. This is what’s needed.”

For her, in particular, people felt like she didn’t have deep relationships. That role was heavily rooted in the organization where a lot of people needed to know that individual. She had to collaborate across the organization. And while people knew her, they felt like she didn’t essentially have roots, or her roots weren’t deep enough in the organization. And it was based on her conversation.

When she’d go into meetings with folks, she kept a very high level, very at the top, top, top, so people didn’t really see her depth of knowledge, understand her relationships. So, she wanted to stay at the organization so we spent some time really mapping out where her relationships needed to be, being much more strategic about more casual conversations, not just when there was a task at hand, so people were really able to get to know her. And she was able to make that transition in about six months.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, and what I love about that is that’s the sort of underlying root cause you’re going to have a hard time just stumbling into. Like, you’re either going to have to have someone who’s really looking out for you, say, “Okay, hey, here’s the deal…” You know? You just got to get lucky in terms of that, or you’re going to have to, as this person did, proactively pound the pavement to see what’s going on.

Kimberly Brown
Absolutely.

Pete Mockaitis
Because that is a factor, that it’s real, but it’s a little bit difficult to say, and even feels risky in terms of like, “Oh, so you just like the other person more than me.”

As opposed to, “Well, hey, know what? You made some mistakes on this thing and that cost us a lot of money.” Like, that’s very open shut, you know, clear cut, as opposed to this fuzzy, gray zone, nebulous stuff. And I imagine that that’s the only way you might ever surface it is if you really get super proactive and, as you said, a listing tour, we’re getting after it.

Kimberly Brown

A hundred percent. That’s why I say you want to talk up, down, across, like, so you can really get some good facts and start to hear.

I think, in business, we joke and call it a swipe file. So, as a business owner, when you want to launch a new service, you need to hear “What do your customers want?” And you start to swipe their words so that when you market, you can throw those words right back out at them, and they’re like, “Oh, my God, this is exactly what I need. How did you know?” It’s like, “Oh, because I was listening.” And you take all those things.

But I think, as professionals, we need to do the same thing. What is like the common thread, even if it’s said in different ways, but it still means the same thing? How can we figure out what that thing is so we can change our reputation and align with wherever we’d like to go next?

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so let’s say we’ve deduced, “Okay, here’s the thing,” what are some of your top tips in terms of getting the buzz, the reputational associations of you to transform, “Well, hey, before, Pete was this. But, you know, now I’m really picking up this other side”?

Kimberly Brown
It’s really about figuring out what are the experiences that are tied to whatever that gap was. So, if we take it back to this client of mine, she needed to have more one-on-one meetings that weren’t just like, “Execute on this task.” Because people only knew her as the functional expert in their area. They didn’t understand that, “No, she’s ready. She’s ready to be over a much larger room and she understands all these different areas.”

So, we had to kind of look around, and be like, “How can we have more conversations, career-based conversations, more casual coffee chat conversations, as well as like tactile conversations?” And that’s how we kind of set up. Because we thought about, “How many experiences, how many moments do people need to change their reputation or change their brand?”

I wish there was a science, where I think in marketing, they say someone needs to see something seven times to know that it happened or understand that, like, something was done.

If they’ve been seeing you as A, A, A, A, A, but now you’re A and B, they need to see it for whatever amount of time. And all of these different things come into play.

If you’re someone who has a very visible role, you may need to just go to that one conference and speak and people see and feel the difference. But if you’re someone who’s kind of behind the scenes, it could be a little, like little micro moments that need to happen over the course of six months or a year for someone to understand like, “Oh, huh, Pete’s different. He’s very different. Like, before he used to do A and now, I always see him do B. Like, wow!”

And, especially, layer on more time if you’re someone who’s made a mistake and that’s attached to your brand. I see that a lot when people have a reputation that’s aligned with not being diligent or not being strategic, someone who makes a decision but isn’t able to see, “Oh, it would have gone bad if we did this instead of that.” Those folks, especially where they’ve had that bad moment, it takes a little bit longer.

Pete Mockaitis
Now when you say, “Oh, Pete was just A, but now he’s A and B,” could you give us some more examples of reputational deficiencies that folks have uncovered from this diligence and how they rectified them?

Kimberly Brown
So, I’d say one of the biggest, the hardest thing to change in the workplace is someone who has been an individual contributor and wants to be a manager. Generally, and especially if you have not had management-level experience, it’s like, “How can you become a manager if you haven’t become a manager?” That’s what people feel like.

So, for that individual, I’d say one of the reputational deficiencies they need to work on is, “How can they at least manage projects? How could they manage their workload better? How can they manage cross-functional teams? So maybe they don’t have a direct report, but it’s people seeing them interact with multiple people across the workplace.

Another deficiency I often see is someone who lacks being strategic, who isn’t able to do that good, better, best. They just kind of make a decision and they just hope it works. And when it doesn’t, then everybody has an idea, but they weren’t able to see that ahead of time. And for them, it’s really slowing down, and allowing people to understand how they did the work.

And in the workplace, I tell people it’s very similar to long division and being able to get partial credit when you were a kid. It’s, “Can someone understand your train of thought and how you got there?” So maybe you didn’t get the right answer, maybe things went wrong, but when someone can understand that you actually went through the steps and it wasn’t just shooting from the hip, that’s also really helpful.

I think the last example I’ll give is also someone who has been shy, someone who’s been behind the scenes, someone who doesn’t share their ideas, someone who doesn’t show that they have an opinion. I think, again, it’s finding those moments, “When can you insert yourself? When can you speak up in rooms you haven’t spoken in? When can you ask for moments to kind of have the light shine on you just a little bit?”

And, I think, for introverts who have no desire to say anything but know they need to, I try and work with them and coach them through planning for those moments, like, “Don’t just expect that it’s going to come to you and, all of a sudden, you’re going to know the right thing to say.”

If you are someone who’s an introverted and shy too, the moment may not come. You need to plan and prepare like, “Okay, in this meeting, this is generally how the meeting flows. This is where I’m going to insert myself, even if I have to clear my throat to get people to pay attention.”

Pete Mockaitis
Well, and what’s cool is if you are behaving so starkly opposite of a way that you have historically, it may really be sort of shocking or head-turning in terms of, “Huh?” in a great way in terms of, like, it’s making a strong impression. So, I guess we don’t know the magical number, but if it’s a really 180-type of shift, it might not take that many of those like, “Oh, okay. This is how it is now.”

Kimberly Brown
Absolutely. I think that the bigger the moment, the more the magnitude, sometimes it takes a little less. Folks may want to see it again though, just to make sure it’s consistent, especially if we’re thinking about like that public speaking. Don’t think you’re going to speak out at a town hall one time and then you’ll get promoted. They need to know this is a part of who you are.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, talking about public speaking, you speak about thought leadership as being tremendous for folks’ careers. Can you first define what does thought leadership mean? I lead thoughts, Kimberly, what does that mean?

Kimberly Brown
So, the way I think about thought leadership, it’s not the way that we think about it in terms of like being a John C. Maxwell or a Michael Hyatt or Brene Brown or Oprah Winfrey. When we hear thought leaders, we think of these like big greats who have these massive brands.

But I teach professionals that thought leadership is really you having a way of doing things, having a methodology, having an opinion that is both respected and influential in your organization. And I think it’s one of the hidden factors that help people get into leadership, that people want an opinion.

I explained it today for someone on my team recently, I said that thought leadership is two people of the same position. One of them is invited to the meeting, the other one wasn’t because you don’t need the two people there. But when that meeting happens, they’re like, “You know what? Can we get so and so to join this meeting? I just want to hear what they have to say on this. I think that how they would approach it would just be interesting.”

And if those two people are rated the same, both great at their job, it’s like, “Well, why didn’t you let person A talk about it? Why wasn’t it okay, because that person was there?” But they’re like, “No, no, no. Call B. We need to talk to B. Like, we just need to hear what they think.”

That is, generally, what thought leadership looks like in the workplace. It’s having an opinion, having an approach, having a methodology that people know, like, and trust, and they want more of. And I think it’s important that people start to cultivate a way of doing things that is unique to them, that they can maximize and share.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s really great. We had Kara Smith Brown on the show, and, it’s funny, you mentioned these huge names, like, John C. Maxwell, Brene Brown. And I think Kara Smith Brown, as far as I could tell, is one of the preeminent thought leaders when it comes to the sales and marketing of B2B logistics-related products and services.

And so, I mean, there’s a niche, and she’ll point out that she has a point of view in terms of she’ll say, “Well, hey, do you own the email address of everybody in your related market?” And that’s a thing that’s kind of unique, like, “Huh? What do you even mean? How would we do that? What?” And so, she’s got that.

So, she’s got a niche and she’s got a point of view there. And it makes it such that, if you’re considering sales and marketing-related questions in the logistics industry, you very well would say, “It’d be great to have Kara in here right about now.”

Kimberly Brown
Yes, indeed.

Pete Mockaitis

And so, you can have a niche of a niche of a niche in terms of, “This software platform we’re using for this issue in this business, by golly, Kimberly knows the insides and outs of it. So, she should probably be in any meeting where we’re discussing tinkering with it.”

Kimberly Brown
Thought leadership is, I think, a combination of unique viewpoints. It could also be like a deep knowledge in something. So, I think my last corporate job, I served as the director of Diversity Talent Acquisition Strategy. It was an inaugural role at a Fortune 100 company in financial services.

And I remember, if anyone was talking about diversity recruiting, talent acquisition, they would call me. I’d be in one meeting and I’d get a Slack message, “Can you leave that meeting to come to this meeting?” There was no conversation that happened where I was not called out to speak about it because of my knowledge.

And, at that time, it was new. It was something that was so important. People were like, “Oh, no, we need to do this.” And I would get pulled out to talk about the thing. It didn’t matter how big or how small it was. I think it could be knowledge and it could also just be a point of view.

I know, for me, in the career space, I get called in when people want to talk about building reputation, they want to talk about visibility, they want to talk about being a better leader, being a better manager. That’s what people know me for. Everyone has to have like their little thing.

Pete Mockaitis
Indeed, we do need to have our little thing. And it seems that you’re unlikely to have your little thing unless you proactively, thoughtfully, try to identify something distinctive and go deep into it. Because I can imagine it’d be quite possible to just be a great team player and say yes to anything and everything that people want your help with. And then what are you known for? Well, kind of nothing.

Kimberly Brown
Yeah, I call that being like a Jack or Jill of all trades and a master of none. You’re just that go-to person. And I think there’s a point where it’s good to be that go-to person because you learn a lot of things, you meet a lot of people, you have a lot of great relationships. But I found that those folks have a hard time getting promoted.

So, if someone has their sights on climbing whatever proverbial corporate, non-corporate, nonprofit ladder, whatever ladder they want to climb, those folks have the most trouble because people, as you get higher up, people become specialists naturally. They manage a smaller area. So, if you’re attached to all these things, it’s sometimes hard for someone to see you doing the one.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, any pro tips on how we become amazing at a thing that’s distinctive?

Kimberly Brown
I think start thinking with what you like. Start thinking about what you like. Think about what makes you feel good. Like, the title of my book is Next Move, Best Move: Transitioning into a Career You’ll Love, and something I always say is that, if you love your work, it’s a lot easier every single day. And it’s not that you have to love it like you’re like, “Oh, my gosh, I would do this every single day. If I won the lotto, I would still keep the job.”

But I believe in there being an element of happiness and love for your job because we spend 40 plus hours a week at work every single day. So, if you don’t like it, I’m pretty sure your life kind of stinks too, because we can’t make up that big of a block of time. So, I think start with what brings you joy. What are you excited about? What comes easy to you? What are your strengths?

I always tell folks, like, imagine if you were building a career where you got to strengthen your strengths every day. I think, earlier on, I felt like when I worked in higher ed back in the day, when I learned career coaching, we’d always talk about how do we address the weaknesses.

But I’m like, “Imagine if you didn’t have to work on the weaknesses. Like, if they weren’t mission critical to your job.” Like, for me, I am not a data person. If you want to see real tears, start talking to me about Qualtrics, Excel, SPSS, turning the graph into a chart and bringing it to a deck. Mine doesn’t work like that no matter how many tutorials I watch.

I had just decided I’ll hire someone to do that. Even when I’ve worked in corporate, I’m like, “I need an analyst. Someone, who their role is to do this, that’s not what I do.” But my thing is strategy. I’m really great at making a strategic plan, finding whatever the problem is, and building out the roadmap, “How can we solve this?” Whether it’s resourcing, infrastructure, people, “What is it that we need to solve this problem?” I can build up the plan, resources and execute it. That is my thing.

That’s where I spend most of my time. If I had a job, I would never put myself in a position now where I’d be in analytics all day. I’d be miserable. It’s also just not my strength.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find it inspiring?

Kimberly Brown
I believe it’s by Earl Nightingale, and it says, “Your problem is to bridge the gap that exists between where you are not and where you’d like to be.”

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Kimberly Brown
I’m a little old school. I use a combination of ClickUp and a paper planner.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that folks really love and quote back to you often?

Kimberly Brown
Create a career that creates opportunities for you. I want professionals to have a career that by the function of who they are, how they show up, and what their goals are, opportunities come back to them. It’s not always this rat race of applying for the job and trying to get the opportunity and fighting for it. But who you are, your reputation, your level of visibility, attracts opportunities that you get to benefit from and enjoy.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Kimberly Brown
They can go to KimberlyBOnline.com or BrownLeadership.com.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Kimberly Brown
I would want them to, at least, ask one person, what are three characteristics they would use to describe how they show up every single day at work.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Lovely. Kimberly, thank you.

Kimberly Brown
You’re very welcome. Thanks for having me.

1101: Navigating the Four Seasons of Leadership with Carolyn Dewar

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Carolyn Dewar shares insights from top CEOs on how to master each season of your leadership career.

You’ll Learn

  1. How to avoid the nearly universal blind spot of leaders
  2. How
 to thrive in any leadership role
  3. How to nail your first impressions and set the right tone

About Carolyn

Carolyn Dewar is a senior partner in McKinsey’s San Francisco office. She coleads McKinsey’s CEO Excellence service line, advising many Fortune 100 CEOs how to maximize their effectiveness and lead their organizations through pivotal moments. She has published more than 30 articles in the Harvard Business Review and McKinsey Quarterly and is a frequent keynote speaker. She is also the founder of and faculty member for many of McKinsey’s client master classes for sitting CEOs and those preparing for the role.

Resources Mentioned

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Carolyn Dewar Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Carolyn, welcome!

Carolyn Dewar
It’s great to be here. Thanks for having me.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, thank you. I’m excited to be chatting about CEOs. You and your co-authors studied 200 of them to write this book, A CEO for All Seasons. Tell us, how was scheduling all those interviews? That must’ve been a nightmare.

Carolyn Dewar
It was quite busy. These are very, very busy people. So, certainly, we were a taker on the calendars. Whenever they offered, we said, “Great,” and we made it work.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’d love to hear, so engaging with all these folks, any really fascinating or surprising discoveries bubbling up here?

Carolyn Dewar

Oh, my goodness. I mean, there’s so many we can dive in. First of all, it wasn’t just 200 CEOs. We tried to find the best 200 CEOs, and there’s lots of questions around what makes best, but we wanted to take advice from people who were awesome at their job, right, which is, I love the whole ethos of the conversations you have.

And so, we were looking at these folks who’d all been in role for at least six years, had been outperforming and doing really, really well, and there were so many surprises when we talked to them. I mean, we can dig in. I guess one would be, you would expect folks who are so successful like that, you would wonder if maybe they’re a little arrogant, maybe they think they know everything.

It turns out the longer they were in role and the more successful they were, the really good ones actually realized that they still needed to be learning. And so, they were curious, they asked questions, they were always trying to find new information. Maybe that’s why they’ve ended up doing so well, but they never stopped learning and growing and trying to get even better.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, beautiful. I mean, we’re all about that here. Well, since you brought it up, I have to ask, your research revealed that the average CEO, does that mean not the super high performers, or does that mean a representative group of your CEOs scored themselves higher than their boards and their direct reports? Can you dig into that a little bit? Are you suggesting that the top CEOs don’t fall for that or this is prevalent with this grouping as well?

Carolyn Dewar
So that research and survey was sent out to all CEOs, all CEOs, in general. And we were asking them to assess themselves around the elements of the role and how well they did. And it’s fascinating. It’s the only time I’ve done research where the answer was 100% of the CEOs that we surveyed scored themselves higher than the direct reports scored those CEOs, 100%, which is fascinating, right?

And it says, gosh, when you’re in these roles, I don’t think it’s that you suddenly think you’re amazing. I think a lot of people stop telling you the truth. You run the risk of being in a bit of an echo chamber. Are people really giving you input on whether things are going well, how it’s landing? And so, for all CEOs at all 10 years, it’s really important to think about, “How do you break through that echo chamber and make sure you’re listening and learning and growing?”

And the CEOs, the high performers we looked at, though, they didn’t hit that sophomore slump that you see from other CEOs, where they got off to a good start and then it whittles away. These are all folks that continue to go from strength to strength. And that’s why we wanted to really understood what they did differently.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, boy, I think we could chat for half an hour about this alone because, yes, that is striking whenever 100% of anything happens in this kind of a research, that is wild. And we had Dr. Tasha Eurich on the show talking about how we’re not as self-aware as we think, and here’s a dimension. When you say score themselves, could you give us an example? Like, score them on like what kind of dimensions or what kind of questions are we talking about this scoring?

Carolyn Dewar
So, it’s very much grounded in research we’ve done on, “What is the CEO role and what does it mean to do it well?” So, there’s six parts of the role. You set direction, you align your organization, manage your team, your board, external stakeholders and yourself. And on each of those, we have a view of “What does really great look like?” And we had each of the CEOs score themselves on how well they thought they were doing. We had their direct reports do it and we had their boards do it.

Now it’s interesting. For new CEOs, the board often actually thinks they’re doing a better job than the newbie does, which maybe isn’t a surprise because you’re new, you’re a little bit nervous, and you’re probably at the peak of the honeymoon period where the board thinks you’re great because they just picked you, so they obviously think you’re great.

So, there’s these different moments where the self-awareness flexes and flows. But the most important thing we were trying to figure out is, “What are those blind spots? And what do you do to make sure that you get ahead of them and you don’t fall into those traps?”

Pete Mockaitis
Well, why don’t we just go right there? What are some of the most common blind spots?

Carolyn Dewar

Well, the reason we anchored this work in the four seasons of the CEO is it turns out a third of CEOs don’t even make it past three years. So, they get out of their gates and they stumble. And I think it was 68% of CEOs, who were experienced that we talked to, said the job actually wasn’t what they thought it was when they started, and they weren’t maybe as well prepared as they thought they were.

And all of that got us to thinking, “Gosh, isn’t it important to help people understand each step of the job, right? When you’re a candidate, when you’re new, in your middle years, and then as you’re thinking about finishing strong and exiting, there’s different expectations at each of those stages that your investors have, your employees have, your organization has, and what do you need to be doing as a CEO in each of those?

And so, we kind of went through and said, “What do the greats do? What are the blind spots at each of those stages?” So happy to dig in on any of those, but that’s the four seasons, essentially, is this cycle that CEOs and companies go through.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, yes, we are going to hit the four seasons. That’s a clever little metaphor. It reminds me of the “Gilmore Girls,” spring, summer, fall, and winter. But perhaps, first, could you share with us, what is the biggest mismatch or surprise CEOs have in terms of, “Oh, wait, this is the job?”

Carolyn Dewar
I think when you dig into that 68% who say, “Gosh, the job was not what I thought it was,” if I think about these six aspects of the job, the first three, anyone with a big role has done. You’ve set direction and strategy, you’ve figured out how to align your organization, your talent, your culture, and you’ve worked with the team. So, I think on those three elements, CEOs are like, “Well, yes, it’s new, it’s bigger scale, it’s more complicated, but I’ve done it before.”

The other three parts of the job is the ones they feel least prepared for. Suddenly, you’re engaging with the board, you’re working with your board, you have 12 bosses. It’s the only job where you actually have 12 bosses. All the external stakeholders, you’re suddenly the public face of the company. There’s a million people with opinions externally on what you should be doing. Especially in the last few years, we’ve seen a lot of CEOs struggle with, “What issues do you get involved in? How do you interact with government and regulators and all these things?”

And then the last part is your own personal operating model, which is how you spend your time, how you show up as a leader. I think a lot of CEOs are just overwhelmed in the first year about the magnitude of the role. There is just endless demands on your time. And it’s up to you to be really quite ruthless about, “What are those critical few things that if you don’t do them, no one else can, right?”

The mindset on that is “Do what only you can do.” What’s the work that only the CEO can do? Because, frankly, that alone is going to fill your whole week. And so, how do you make sure all the other things that can clutter your calendar, you find another way to manage?

Pete Mockaitis
Yes, that notion, “Do what you alone can do” is a nice mantra there. And so, what are some of the most insightful questions these ruthless prioritize-rs are using to identify and surface and truly say, “Yes, indeed, only I can do this”?

Carolyn Dewar
It is one of the questions people struggle with the most, right, is having that clarity. I think it needs to start with a real grounding in, “What are the priorities of the business?” So, what are the two, three, four big moves, big priorities, big strategic shifts that you’re going to drive that will create value? And if they’re at that level of importance, they probably need some involvement from you. So, you should be spending time on really driving the priorities that matter.

I think leaders also recognize they need to shift into a mode where they’re not only the ones, they can’t be doing everything anymore. They need to lead through others, lead through leaders. And so, how do you get your leadership team working really well, not just with the right bums in seats and the right people, but actually aligned on the vision, making decisions well together so that they could make great decisions even if you weren’t in the room, right? That’s another big piece.

And then there’s some invisible work. There’s kind of the running the company. But there’s invisible work that, while the company is running, you need to be the one that pops your head up and looks around corners, and sort of says, “Well, what are the trends that are coming next? What could be some of the threats coming? What do we need to be thinking about for years two and three beyond this?” That’s your job, too.

And so, recognizing these pieces that, if it’s not for the CEO, no one else can set that kind of clarity. And then, honestly, working with your EA or your chief of staff to be really disciplined about, “Are you actually spending time on the things you said you would? Or, are you letting a bunch of firefighting creep into your calendar, which can just overwhelm?”

Pete Mockaitis
Well, you mentioned working with your EA, and I want to get your hot take on this. Most of our listeners are not CEOs. But I’m curious, having such a deep inside perspective of CEOs and what makes them great, what are some of your top recommendations for, when a professional in a more junior role is interacting with the CEO or a senior leader, given all you know, how can we be maximally helpful, insightful, differentiated in how we interface with these executives?

Carolyn Dewar
I think it’s a great opportunity to practice kind of putting on that CEO hat, right, because the one thing about the CEO job is they’re the only one that sees all the pieces. Everyone sees a part of the elephant. They’re the only one that kind of sees it all together.

So, the more you can try and put yourself in their shoes, and say, “If I was solving not just for my team or my function or my business or my geography, and I was actually solving what’s right for the company, would I think about this differently? Would I pose different questions? Would I answer them differently?”

Because the CEO job, they talk about it being lonely, and part of it is they’re the only ones sometimes trying to take that high-level view. Any of us can do that. Any of us can try and put ourselves in those shoes, and say, “Okay, if I’m thinking like a CEO, is this keeping me up at night? Is it really about, is the enemy me versus my other business unit I’m battling with? Or, is there kind of a bigger fight we’re fighting out there and we need to be working together?”

I think having that enterprise mindset is a big deal. It was Brad Smith, who was the CEO of Intuit, he talks about a sports jersey. Now I’m not a great sports person, but the thing that appealed to me is, “Your team’s name is on the front and your individual name is on the back. And he says, “When you’re coming to those situations, are you coming, representing and doing what’s right for the team? Or, are you trying to just optimize for your piece of the business, your piece?”

I think that’s the biggest shift in terms of thinking like a CEO and working with them is you got to put yourself in that enterprise-mindset view.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s so helpful. And it’s funny because, in a way, it seems like, “Yes, of course, they would appreciate that.” And yet, boy, there’s so much working against that.

Carolyn Dewar
It just drags you down.

Pete Mockaitis
In terms of, “Okay, there’s urgency, there’s complexity, there’s too much to do. And then there’s, frankly, you know, my goals, my KPIs, what shows up in my performance management, reviews and process. It’s, like, I don’t so much get credit, if you will, for thinking about that and raising that.” And so, but call me an optimist, I think that just makes that an even more delightful opportunity in terms of, if you go there, boy, what a breath of fresh air.

Carolyn Dewar
You’re refreshing when someone does it.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. It’s like, “Wow, that’s so thoughtful.” It’s like, “Hey, we’re making this but, boy, it seems like this is going to be a nightmare for the sales team to be able to gather all of these requirements from their customers when they’re trying to win them over at the same time. Is there, hopefully, some easy process by which we’re collecting that information?” Like, “Oh, none of us have thought about that yet. Thank you for bringing that up. That’s huge.”

Carolyn Dewar
Exactly. I think it’s huge, right? And it differentiates yourself as a leader and you stand out, but it’s also just the right thing to do for our customers and our clients.

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. Well, let’s hear this metaphor. So, we got the four seasons: spring, stepping up, preparing for the role; summer, starting strong, leading with impact; fall, staying ahead, sustaining momentum; and winter, sending it forward, succession planning, lasting legacy, sorts of things. Could you perhaps share with us a fun story and perhaps a best and worst practice that you see among CEOs within each of these four seasons?

Carolyn Dewar
Yeah, absolutely. We can start with the first one, which is really about when you’re preparing for the role, and it could be the CEO role or, honestly, any next big job that you aspire to. What do you do to get ready? I think a lot of folks fixate on, “What do I have to do to get the job?” and they don’t think about what it means to be great at the job.

It may be an unrelated but interesting analogy. There are some people who are focused on having a wedding and they forget that the prize is now you’re married to this person. It’s the same kind of mindset. You have to think about the long game.

And so, the candidates that do really well, take time in the two, three years leading up to it, really thinking about two things. One, “Why would I even want that bigger job?” Because if the answer is just, “Because I deserve it,” or, “It’s my time,” or, “I want a promotion,” that’s not going to give you the energy to sustain it when those jobs get really hard.

You’ve got to be motivated by something else. Is it that you have an exciting vision for what you’ll do in that role? You’re excited by a mandate you could set, or a customer journey you could create, or some value you could create, or the people you’re going to help to be successful.

You need some bigger purpose in taking on the role or, frankly, the honeymoon period weighs out pretty quick and then you’re just stuck in this job and you weren’t sure you wanted it. So that’s one mindset shift is really thinking about the motivation and the why.

Pete Mockaitis
If I may pause right there, and say that is so valuable to not just fall for the trap of, “Oh, it’s the next step.” I’ve lived it myself. I remember, in a volunteer organization, one time I was the seminar chairperson, which was fun. I’m in charge of this whole event. And I’ve got my team and volunteers and all the thing.

And so, I’ve been volunteering for a long, time and I say, “Oh, the corporate board president for the state is the next role, so, naturally, of course, I should do that.” But I was just a fool. I didn’t stop and think, “What is this role about? Oh, this is about, like, compliancy things and like running a board, and making sure we have the audits done, and the bank account in good shape, and things are filed with the right entities, ensuring that we are in good standing with the mothership, the parent organization.”

It’s like, “Oh, I hate all of those things.” Like, I love being in the mix, and running it and, and doing the creative things. And then that wasn’t there. And I’m reminded of Star Trek. Jean-Luc Picard got some advice from an Admiral at Starfleet, saying, “Don’t ever let them take you out of that chair because this job, it’s more senior, but it’s not nearly as cool.” And so, having a good picture, eyes wide open in advance, can save everybody a lot of heartache.

Carolyn Dewar
Absolutely. I sit here in Silicon Valley, and so tons of tech friends and tech people around me. You can get someone who’s amazing at technology and, somehow, we’ve decided the way to reward them is to promote them into a people-leader role where they’re no longer doing the tech and they’re just managing.

A lot of them, they hate it. They’re not good at it. And it’s not the highest and best use of that person’s talent, right? So how do we really make sure you even understand what’s involved in that next role and have an honest conversation with yourself on, “Is that a great fit?”

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. Well, let’s hear about the next season, summer.

Carolyn Dewar
So, the next season is, you’re now spring, you’ve sprung out as a little bud, you’re in flower, you know, it is summer, you’re in the role. And a lot of folks think about, “Okay, I’ve got the job now. Now what?” And a couple of ways to think about that first time, absolutely important to spend time listening and learning.

Frankly, people are going to tell you stuff when you’re new, honest things, hard things that they may not tell you a little bit later on in your tenure. So, when you’re doing that listening tour, you’re getting around talking to employees and customers and regulators, whoever it is, ask the hard questions.

One of the CEOs talked about, when he initially went out, he said, “Well, what’s the thing that you were all afraid to tell my predecessor? What is it that I need to know that they didn’t know?” It’s such a great question.

And because you’re new, they know you’re not fully associated with the track record so far, and so they’re willing to be honest, “What’s working? What’s not working? What are some of those elephants in the room that no one’s pointing out, but we really need to address?” And so, really use that time to soak up and learn.

I say it’s not enough, though, just to listen. You actually do need to start acting and hit the ground running. And we talked about nailing your firsts. Your first top team meeting, your first town hall, your first board meeting, your first quarterly earnings. You really do only have one chance to make a first impression.

And so, how do you go into those moments being really conscious of, “What’s the tone you want to set? How do you want to show up as a leader? What signals do you want to set in terms of your expectations and where you’re going to take the place?” And so really being mindful because, whatever you do in those moments, will have a ripple effect down through the organization, whether you were intentional about it or not. So, you want to set the right tone.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, that is powerful. And I love that question. And, boy, it really speaks to a reality that we, people are quite reluctant to criticize folks who are more senior than them or even, tangentially, criticize them in terms of like, “This thing isn’t working and you are kind of the person in charge, so it’s, in a way, kind of your fault.” So, yes, seize that window and a fantastic question, “What were you afraid to tell my predecessor?”

And I also want to get your perspective, when getting, nailing these first and having big wins. It’s funny, because, of course, your predecessor was also, hopefully, you know, trying hard to win a lot and nail things well, and you’re new and have less experience, so that kind of seems like a tall order. Do you have any pro tips on, is there any way we can identify some easy quick wins or any little tips and tricks and hacks to be able to pull that off?

Carolyn Dewar
I think my brain is going in two places. One is the practical, and we can get into how you identify what you’re going to do to lend value and what the strategy should be. That’s one thing. But the hacks and tips, it’s a bit of a delicate time, especially sometimes your predecessor is still around. They might’ve gotten promoted too and they’re your new boss. Or, even for CEOs retiring, I think 17% of them now stay on as executive chair and they’re still coming to work and they’re still involved.

And so, how do you both set a new tone without completely throwing them under the bus in a way that’s unproductive? And I’ve seen folks do this judo move a few different ways. One is, it’s usually true, the context has changed. So how do you celebrate the past and say, “Here’s how we got here, here’s what’s great, here’s all the things that we all should feel proud of”? Because people want to feel like you see them, especially if you’re coming in from the outside. You get with how they got there.

“But, look, here’s what’s changing. Here’s what’s going on in the external world. Here’s what’s going on with our aspirations that’s changing and implies that we might need to do something differently. What got us here might not get us there.” That’s sort of an elegant way that I’ve seen a lot of leaders nuanced that, especially when they want to be really respectful to the past.

I think it’s different when you’re stepping into a complete turnaround and everyone knows there’s burning ships and you’ve got to just wreck and rebuild everything. I think, in a way, it’s easier to drive change in those moments. You don’t have to be quite so nuanced. I think, when things are going reasonably well and you just want to continue and make it better, that’s where you’ve got to be a little bit more thoughtful in how you communicate.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Thank you. Okay, well, let’s hear about fall.

Carolyn Dewar
Sure, let’s go into fall, and this hits on your question a little bit, too, about how you know big moves. The big risk in the fall, this is your middle years. You’ve gotten out of the gates, you’ve done well, the initial strategy, the initial team have delivered, and now you’re trying to think about what to do for years three through 20, however long those are going to be.

The biggest risk is your own success makes you complacent. Things have been going well, and so you hope you can just keep running that play and it’s going to continue to go great. That’s when leaders feel caught out. I know Jamie Dimon at JP Morgan talked about that was his biggest risk. And even when the “London Whale” happened and things that he dealt with, he said, “I got a little complacent. I assumed the things that have been working would just keep continuing.”

So, how do you break through that? I think about Michael Dell, the Founder and CEO of Dell computers. He’s been a CEO since he was 19. So now it’s been, gosh, I think half a century, if you think about it, or almost, that he’s been a CEO. He’s had a few of these times where he’s had to say, “How do we refresh? How do we not sit back on our laurels?”

And one time, he went into his leadership team, and he said, “Imagine it’s three years from now, and there’s a new player, a new attacker that understand our customers, understand our business. They’re better than us. They have new products. People love them. They’re really threatening our business. Now let’s assume that that attacker was us. What would have to be true? What was it that we were doing that we could disrupt ourselves and be the greatest threat to our current business? What would we look at?”

And it forced them to take a real outsider view, to look at it from the outside, and say, “Where are the opportunities? Where are we getting lazy? What could be possible given what’s happening in the world?” and they kind of reinvented themselves. You see companies do that reinvention several times. Lego has done the same, right? Who would have thought they would have ended up in theme parks and movies and adult Lego and all these other things?

It’s because they stepped back, and said, “I don’t want to just be a little plastic bricks company that, hopefully, you don’t step on in the middle of the night.” And so, how do you ask those questions of your team, ask the questions of yourself and really provoke yourself to not get too comfortable?

Pete Mockaitis
And to this point, I also want to hear, how do we become the rare, less than 1%, or 0% right now, CEO or a leader who is truly getting the full scoop from their team, from their direct reports, and able to have an honest assessment of their relative strengths and weaknesses?

Carolyn Dewar
Yes, so important, right? And I think you have to be really, really deliberate about it because, as soon as you’re made CEO, your jokes are funnier, you’re taller, all these things happen, and people start treating you differently. I think the CEOs we talked to put very deliberate things in place. Most of them had kind of a kitchen cabinet or an unofficial mini board that they went to for advice. It might just be three, four people.

Maybe someone in the organization, often people outside, maybe it’s other peer CEOs, maybe it’s other advisors they have, but they’ve got a small group of people who will hold up the mirror and tell them the truth about how things are going. That’s kind of one technique that we’ve seen. I think there was one CEO who had a reverse mentor.

So, they picked someone two, three levels down in the organization, someone who normally wouldn’t have direct access to the CEO. And they built a relationship with that person over time and gave them permission. In fact, really asked them to teach them, “How are things landing two, three levels down in the organization? What’s the chatter that I need to know about? What’s the feedback for me?”

But also, it turns out, that person, in this case, were younger, they were more tech savvy, they were kind of further ahead on some of the changes that were happening in the industry, and they learned a lot. And it became this kind of reverse mentoring relationship, which was very, very cool.

One more final just tactical one is, even in your meetings, you can use things like devil’s advocate, for example. If everyone is getting excited about an idea, especially if they think the CEO wants the idea, the risk is people fall in line and they all just start agreeing. Can you appoint someone in the meeting explicitly to say, “For the next five minutes, we want you to critique our idea and tell us all the reasons why it’s terrible and what aren’t we thinking of.”

It gives permission to someone to play that role and they can be purposely edgy and no one can be mad at them because they’re like, “Well, I was just playing the role you asked,” right? That’s a simple technique, but any of us can use that to make sure we’re really getting into it.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that’s excellent because, I think, a lot of folks really need perhaps dramatic intervention to contradict those instincts of, “Be agreeable and do what the person in charge seems to want.” And so, I think that’s a very clear and direct way to achieve just that.

Carolyn Dewar
Yeah, absolutely. You have to create a safe space for people to do it. And they recognize pretty quickly, if you react badly to the honest feedback, you’re not going to get it again.

Pete Mockaitis
Yep, certainly. Okay. And winter?

Carolyn Dewar
So, winter, by design, and it is a cycle because it does overlap very much with spring. As you’re preparing to hand over the reins and to finish strong, that’s the same time where that new candidate is getting ready to take on the role, so you need to think about them together. I think it’s a phase that is really under, people don’t talk about it enough. There’s a lot about first hundred days. There’s almost nothing about last hundred days or last year, and what does that look like.

I think there’s a few things going on. One is there is a very personal journey, that outgoing leader, especially when it’s planned and it’s a retirement, is going through. It’s been a huge part of their identity, usually for years. And they have to get comfortable with it’s time for them to go. So, they actually set timing and talk to the board about when it’s time to go. Are they excited about what’s next for them, whether it’s, you know, friends and family or boards or whatever it is they’re going to do?

They need something they’re excited to go to or else sometimes you see people hanging on too long, to be honest, and that’s not good for anyone, especially if they’re hanging on because they’re worried about not being relevant or what’s next. And the best CEOs have this conversation all the way along. So again, Brad Smith of Intuit talks about he had this conversation 44 times with his board, which meant every quarter for the 11 years of his tenure.

Right from the very beginning, he started with, “How am going to prepare my successors? How are we going to start putting people in place to be a great bench of leaders going forward?” Because sometimes it feels awkward if you wait till the end. Who’s going to be the first one to say, “Hey, maybe it’s time to move on, right?”

But if you’ve had the conversation all the way along, you’ve built a great bench of leaders, then your focus can be on the right things, which is how to hand over with grace. Is there some cleanup you’re going to do to make it easy for the next person? Maybe there’s some lingering talent discussions that have to happen that are overdue or some budget issues.

Clean that up. Use your political capital to get some of the hard stuff done so that the new person taking over can do really, really well. I think we’ve seen a few of these boomerang CEOs in the last while, where they leave and then the new person doesn’t work out and they have to come back. I don’t think that’s a great sign of your legacy. Part of your legacy is that the organization continues strength to strength after you. You shouldn’t want to have to boomerang back.

Pete Mockaitis
Well said. Well, so walking through all this, I’d love it if you could share with us any story of a CEO that’s really stuck with you in terms of it’s made an imprint in terms of a lesson or a way to play the game a bit differently that made you go, “Yes, that is excellent.”

Carolyn Dewar
I think it comes back to where we started, which is the learning mindset of these excellent CEOs. And not only is there just a natural curiosity and humility, but they built it into their calendar. They made time for it, right? So, Satya Nadella spends one day a month doing nothing but learning. Now he’s Satya, so he can, like, cast the net wide and he has the world experts on everything submit things for him to spend and read during that time.

But the number of CEOs who really had something deliberate about how they would learn, they show up in their peers, they attend different sessions. Again, Brad Smith at Intuit used to do job shadows with other CEOs. All the way in, it’s like a 10-year, he would go and like shadow, you know, the Ford CEO or, he would shadow Zuckerberg at Facebook and learn from him. I mean, this is someone already a decade into an amazing career.

I think their willingness to admit they have something to learn and then making the time for it is role-modeling for all of us, as well as it makes them better CEOs. So that’s one that really stood out for me.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s beautiful. And, yeah, I’m reminded of Bill Gates as well. He has the “Think Weeks” just disappears with the books and Diet Cokes, and that’s what he’s doing. It’s like, “Okay.”

Carolyn Dewar
And goes off to a cabin somewhere? Yeah, absolutely, right?

Pete Mockaitis

Super.

Carolyn Dewar
And we can all do that even in micro ways, right? Maybe you can’t take a whole week, but it’s not selfish or self-indulgent to invest in time for you to learn because it’s going to make you better at your job. And so, how do we not treat it as just sort of a nice-to-have that always gets punted off the calendar?

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, Carolyn, tell me, any final things you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Carolyn Dewar
I think these were the biggies, other than these amazing CEOs, it’s easy to be sort of wowed by them, but 90% of what we learned and what we talk about in the A CEO for All Seasons applies to any leader. These are phases we all go through. We’re getting ready, we’re new, we’re kind of in role, we’re thinking about what’s next.

And so, I think there’s learnings for everyone. There are also learnings for anyone who’s supporting a CEO. It’s good to understand their journey so that you can work with them well and support them over time. So, investors, boards, others have also looked at this, and said, “Oh, wow, it’s worth being really thoughtful about what happens at each stage.”

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Carolyn Dewar
It’s probably a quote and a tip that we heard. So, this was Michael from Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. He talks about your to-be list. And he doesn’t just talk about it, he does it. So, as well as your to-do list with your agenda every day, he writes next to each meeting, “Who does he need to be in that meeting?” which is interesting, right? It’s not just about being inauthentic or not being himself.

But he’s recognizing like, “What does the organization need of me as its leader in that moment? Do they need me to be decisive and just stop the swirl? Maybe in this town hall, even if I’m having a crazy crummy day, I need to be inspiring. I need to show up that way.” So, this whole idea of how you show up and how you are is just as important as what you do. Really, I always come back to that thought.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Carolyn Dewar
There’s an old experiment called the lottery ticket, which is about, recently, they’ve done it thousands of times. A room full of people. You give half the room a number with their lottery ticket on it, and half the room a blank piece of paper, and you say, “Write your own number between one and X. That’s going to be your lottery ticket number.”

Just before they’re pulling the winning ticket at the front of the room, they call time out, and they go back out on the floor. And then the question they’re trying to answer is, “How much more of anything do we have to pay the people who wrote their own number versus those who were given a number?” So, quick picks versus filling out your own lottery number. How much more do you think you have to pay the people who wrote their own number, if at all?

Pete Mockaitis
You mean, to take their ticket from them?

Carolyn Dewar
To buy it back, oh, sorry. To buy it back. Apologies. So, you’re offering to buy back the ticket. How much more do you have?

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, this is juicy. This is fun. Well, it’s like, I’m thinking about the IKEA effect in terms of they put effort into it, or these numbers are special to them, so it’s more than zero, but I’m guessing it’s irrationally high if you love it so much. So, I don’t know, 20% premium?

Carolyn Dewar
That’s a good guess. It turns out it’s five times more, which is completely irrational, right? It’s completely irrational. I think what it means for leaders is, if you can involve people, if they feel part of shaping it, if they feel like they’ve had their fingerprints on your strategy, your planning, whatever it is you’re doing, their level of buy-in and commitment is irrationally high.

And that’s a great superpower for you to tap into as a leader. And so, just telling someone the right answer versus bringing them along, it might be faster in the short term, but it doesn’t get you as far.

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. Thank you. And a favorite book?

Carolyn Dewar
I like ones about people and dynamics. So, it’s older now, but the Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, it’s just a fascinating one. It puts you in a different mindset of, “Gosh, we can’t all assume that the way we grew up is the way everyone does.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. And a favorite tool, something that helps you be awesome at your job?

Carolyn Dewar
I am starting to play around with AI. I think I’m very much a newbie. I saw Sam Altman was talking about how Boomers use it versus how Gen X and Gen Z use it. I’m probably somewhere in the middle. I’ve moved beyond using it as Google, but I’m just starting to play around with little ways to build it into my day.

Pete Mockaitis
And is there a key nugget that you share, in your writings or with your colleagues, that people really dig and they quote back often to you, a Carolyn original?

Carolyn Dewar
I think the to-be list one that I shared is a big one. I think the only other one is this idea of doing what only you can do and how freeing that can be. And so, if you really think about the hours you have in the day and what’s the highest and best use of that time, and you lived your life that way, it’s freeing for you, it’s higher impact for others, and I think we’d all be better served if we kind of operated in that mode.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Carolyn Dewar
Sure, you can always find us. I think if you type in A CEO for All Seasons and McKinsey, it’s going to get you to our homepage, and there’s access to any of our authors and video clips and things to read. So that’s probably your best bet.

Pete Mockaitis
And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Carolyn Dewar
So final call to action is probably this idea that, ultimately, it’s not about you. You’re being given the privilege of being in this role, and your goal is to leave it better than you found it and to do everything you can to sort of serve all your stakeholders while you’re in the role. And I think that prompts all of us to think bigger and bolder about what we’re trying to do, and also get out of our own way a little bit.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Carolyn, thank you.

Carolyn Dewar
Super. It’s terrific to talk to you. Thanks so much.

1030: Building a Career that Lights You Up with Mary Olson-Menzel

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Mary Olson-Menzel reveals her strategies for aligning your strengths with career opportunities that excite you.

You’ll Learn

  1. How
 to discover what truly lights you up
  2. Effective LinkedIn outreach approaches
  3. The key thing that grows careers

About Mary 

Mary Olson-Menzel, bestselling author of What Lights You Up?, is a career expert and executive coach with 30+ years of leadership experience. As CEO of MVP Executive Development, she helps individuals and organizations unlock their potential through her compassionate, results-driven approach to “Humane Leadership.” A member of the Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches Community, Mary is dedicated to guiding leaders toward greater success and fulfillment.

Resources Mentioned

Thank You, Sponsors!

Mary Olson-Menzel Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Mary, welcome!

Mary Olson-Menzel
Thank you, Pete. Great to be here.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to hear about what lights us up and how to think about that for career and more. So, I have to open up, Mary, with what lights you up?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Writing the book lit me up, for sure. But really, really helping people find what they love to do, find what lights them up, helping them elevate their leadership in the world, is what lights me up, along with my family.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so you’ve worked with a lot of folks, executive coaching and looking at career matters, any big surprises or counterintuitive discoveries you’ve made about us humans when it comes to this sort of thing? What do you know that we don’t and should?

Mary Olson-Menzel
One of the big things, Pete, is that people think that your pedigree is the only thing that matters, right? My degree, my work experience, everything else. The truth is who you are as a human being and what you bring to the table, the energy that you bring to the table, matters even more than your resume and your pedigree and all the degrees in the world.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. I think that really resonates and makes a lot of sense And I just love that the book title, the question, “What Lights You Up?” So, pedigree doesn’t matter so much, and what we bring to the table matters a whole lot. Could you share with us, why the title “What Lights You Up?” What makes that a super central and important question to address, as opposed to a nice to have somewhere in the mix?

Mary Olson-Menzel
What lights you up is so meaningful because it’s really truly about what drives you every day. What gets your head off the pillow? What are you passionate about? Where are you finding purpose in your life? And, to me, that all encapsulates your inner light and really what it is that makes you happy on a day-to-day basis in your work.

Pete Mockaitis
And so, it’s almost like, in some ways, your play, your fun, can speak to your destiny, for good or for ill, and I thought, “Oh, that’s maybe a little heavy-handed.” But I’m going to lay it on you, Mary, who wrote the book What Lights You Up? what do you think of that?

Mary Olson-Menzel
I love it. I mean, because what lights people up is different, right? And so, what we really need to think about is, “Where is our sweet spot? What is it?”

There’s a term, Pete, that I love called Ikigai, and it is the Japanese word for the intersection of this, it’s basically a Venn diagram of “What’s your passion? What’s your purpose? What are you good at? And what does the world need?”

Pete Mockaitis
You know, we had the CEO of Korn Ferry, Gary Burnison, on, and he was speaking to a similar thing with regard to, if you really know what your strengths are, what your purpose is, what makes you happy, then if you’re happy, you’re probably motivated. And if you’re motivated, you’re going to outperform.

And I was like, “Okay, well, here’s a guy who’s got a vantage point on careers and talent and progression,” and that seems to resonate and synchronize with these very same concepts. It’s like when you’re into the thing, you pour yourself into that, and then you get good at it, and then you’re distinctive, and you can really kind of build a career, a brand, a reputation, a legacy from that.

Mary Olson-Menzel
Absolutely, and it’s so true. When you’re into what that thing is, you start to feel like you’re in the flow. You know, those moments when you feel like you lose track of time, you lose track of everything because you’re so into what you’re doing, and you’re so excited about it. So, that is what we want more of for everyone. Because what we want is for people to be able to amplify and elevate their own natural gifts in order to make the workplace a more enjoyable place to be.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. And could you share with us a story of someone who, maybe they were in a career that was not lighting them up, they did some introspective research to discover some things, and then rejiggered their activities and the job role they were in to see cool results?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Absolutely, there are so many. Part of why I wrote What Lights You Up? is because I developed a 10-step pivot program to help people do exactly that. And so, the myriads of stories are so much fun, but I really like this one. There was a media executive in New York City who was at a crossroads in her career. And she kept looking at all the usual places, right, other media outlets, everywhere else.

And I said to her, “I challenge people to tap into ‘What is it that they’re passionate about? What are their side hustles? What are their hobbies? What are they doing outside of work that’s getting them excited and lit up?’” Well, she was really into horses. And so, we went down this whole path where she said, “Gosh, you know, I mean, if I really didn’t need money, I would just work with horses.”

And I said, “Hold on. Listen to yourself. Maybe there’s a way that you can work with horses and make money and use your existing skillset to do it.” And so, she ended up pivoting into a role up in Saratoga Race Course, where she was the head of marketing and media relations for Saratoga Race Course. She did all kinds of really cool programs with the horses.

Pete Mockaitis
That is really cool. And I love that notion that, in terms of the flow, you’re getting yourself lost in it.

Okay. Well, can you walk us through the process, the steps by which we determine this?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Yes. Well, first, you have to take a good look in the mirror, really, really get very, very clear on who you are and what stage of life you’re in, and what you need from that stage of life. We’re all in different spots. We could be just starting our careers and we need to make money, and we just want to make enough money to travel and go out and have a couple drinks on a weekend, but then your stage changes.

There are other stages where you get married, you start a family, and your needs in your career change. So, it’s about getting very, very clear into where you are at this moment in time, what it is that’s making you happy currently, and then starting to think about, “Wait, am I where I want to be in life?”

And if you can answer “Yes,” well, that’s great. Then let’s just look for ways to keep growing and keep going down a path that you already have started that is really great for you. But what if your answer is no? If your answer is no, then it’s really about thinking, “Okay, what’s working in my life? What’s not? And how do I change that? How do I create a roadmap for what could be next?”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Very good. And so then, any other key questions that you find super helpful at this stage of the game to elicit insights?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Absolutely. There’s so much that you can start to think about at this stage of the game. You really tap into, “Where are the moments in my day when I’m at my best?” From there, you really think about, “Okay, where are the moments in my day that are draining my energy?” We all have them. Even those of us that love what we do, there’s moments or there’s tasks in our day that drain our energy.

And so, really starting to think about, “Okay, where can I go from here? How can I get more of what it is that I like, what it is that I enjoy, and also what I’m good at? Where can I make the biggest difference, not only in my career and how I feel about it, but in the world?”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And then what’s our next step?

Mary Olson-Menzel
The next step is to dust off that resume and start getting really very serious about updating the resume, updating your LinkedIn profile, thinking about who you’re going to reach out to in your network, because you cannot do it alone. You have to tap into your network and the people around you. And in the book, I say, “If your inner light is your superpower, your network is the super-highway that’s going to get you your next job.”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, in the course of resume and LinkedIn tweaks, any top tips or tricks, do’s or don’ts, things that you see again and again and again that we should all just be doing or not doing?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Yes. Stop stressing about the resume, number one. The resume is kind of now what I would say your calling card. It’s that little thing that’s going to get you in the door so it has to tell a story, yes, the story of your career. It has to be clear, concise, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated. And so many people get so stressed about their resume that they lose sight of the fact that this is only one piece of a job search.

So, take the pressure off yourself on the resume. Make sure that it’s clear, concise, easy to read. The average recruiter spends six to ten seconds looking at your resume, so it just has to be eye-catching, clear, so that it catches their eye, because then the next thing they’re going to do is go to your LinkedIn profile. And your LinkedIn profile, these days, as of 2025, is exactly where it’s at.

This is where people are networking, this is where people are finding jobs, and this is where hiring managers and recruiters take a deeper dive into who you are as a human being and what your professional profile looks like.

Pete Mockaitis
Tell us more. LinkedIn profile, content, conveying who I am as a human being, how does that work?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Okay. Well, you have all of the information from your resume on LinkedIn, so you’re transferring all that data to your LinkedIn profile. But what LinkedIn does is it takes it up a big step further. You’ve got your profile picture, you’ve got your connections, you’ve got what people are saying about you, you’ve got all kinds of different things that you can put on your LinkedIn profile to make it very robust, to kind of give a fuller picture of who you are as a professional, who you are as a human being. And then, even more importantly, once you’ve gotten that all set, the next thing is to engage on LinkedIn. And so, that is really a very, very important part, starting to put your thoughts out there, professionally, not politically, hopefully, not in other ways, but, really, professional thoughts, like, “Oh, I saw that Google is doing this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”

Then engaging with other people. So, Pete, if you put something really interesting out on LinkedIn, I’m going to like it, I might share it, and I might even repost it with my thoughts. So, this is where you’re starting to create some momentum, positive momentum, with the algorithms of LinkedIn so that more and more people are noticing you on there.

Pete Mockaitis
And so, you said don’t do the politics. When you said who I am or who you are, and LinkedIn is sharing this, I guess I’d love some more of your perspective on that with regard to what belongs there and what doesn’t. Because I think who I am, I think is much broader than the career business-y facet of Pete Mockaitis. But, in your view, is LinkedIn then for more than just the job career business-y part of a professional?

Mary Olson-Menzel
It has become a little bit more than, which is actually kind of nice, in my opinion, because when you’re looking for a job, when you’re living out there in the world, you are not just what you do. You are a whole human being, and so I think that’s the really important part. I mean, I have shared things about my kids on LinkedIn.

My mom passed away last year. I shared a whole post about her and how she inspired me in my life.

So, it has become a little bit more personal, which is, I think, really great, because I think it just shows the kind of person that you are with the things that you’re sharing. You do run the risk, though, of unconscious bias from a hiring manager if you start sharing things that are too personal.

Pete Mockaitis
Could you give us an example of what’s too personal?

Mary Olson-Menzel
I tell most people to stay away from politics and religion on LinkedIn. That is much more for your own private conversations or other kinds of conversations. I think that when you’re sharing things on LinkedIn, it’s really about amplifying and elevating who you are as an executive, who you are as a professional, but also who you are as a person.

So, if you can keep it with a more productive and positive spin, what you’re sharing, or from a learning, “I went through this really hard thing, and this is what I learned from it. I want to share this with the rest of you so that you all can learn from this, so that you don’t have to go through this hard thing.”

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. All right. So, we got our introspection, we got our resume in LinkedIn, looking fabulous. What’s next?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Next is reaching out to that network to start having conversations. And the one mistake, there’s many mistakes, but one of the top mistakes that a lot of job seekers make is that they just look for the openings. So, I’m going to use Google as an example again. Pete, you want to go get a job at Google? You’re going to look for, what does Google have open? What are they hiring for?

And in my book, I basically say flip your job search inside out. Don’t just look for the openings. Don’t just scroll on Indeed or scroll on LinkedIn. Start to create a target list of companies that you’re inspired by, a target list of companies that feel like companies that you might want to work for. And I put those companies into three categories that I call the three Ps.

One is your usual prospects. Like, our friend from New York City in media, she was looking at usual prospects just in other media and entertainment companies. The next category is your pivots. She could have taken those media tools and skills that she has into environment where she could have done something really interesting but then she really was focused on her passions, and that’s the most fun area to focus on. That whole area is like, “Hey, if I can make money doing something I’m passionate about then I’m winning.”

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, cool. All right. And so, any pro tips when we’re doing this reach out? What do we say? What do we not say?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Yes. So, you’ve got the target list of companies, that’s the place that you start. And so then, you go on to LinkedIn and into your network, and you say, “All right, who do I know that works at Google? Who do I know that…?” For Google, I’m just using them as an example today, but, “Who do I know that works at Korn Ferry? Who do I know that works at 3M?”

Whatever is on your target list, starting to look into your network, and say, “Okay, who can I talk to that’s working there or that knows somebody who’s working there?” And then that’s when the very warm connections start.

Keep it short because people’s attention spans are not very long these days. Stay really, really focused on, “Hi, Pete, I’m very interested in talking to you. I’m in transition and I’d love to hear what the opportunities are at XX company.” Simple. And if you have mutual connections, “Hey, Pete, I’m connected to you by Joe. Joe says great things about you and thinks we should talk.”

Keep it so simple. Because, immediately, they’re going to look at your LinkedIn profile and check out who you are anyway, so you don’t have to give a lot of words into who you are and what you’re looking for. Just, “I’m looking for my next career adventure, and I’d love to talk.”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And what’s our next step?

Mary Olson-Menzel
The next step is having the conversation. You can do it, obviously, in the good old-fashioned way of a phone call. You could do it on Zoom. You can do it on Teams. You could meet for coffee. But just remember that people are busier than ever these days, so ask for 15 to 20 minutes of their time. And if it goes longer, that’s just a bonus. It means you guys are clicking.

But 15-20 minutes just to connect, and then talk to them about what they’re doing. Just be curious, I mean, curious about human beings, curious about what they’re doing, curious about what it’s like to work at that company. And then when you’re wrapping up the conversation, number one thing to never forget is to ask, “How can I help you in return?”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Beautiful. And then, while we’re asking them questions, are there any key pieces of insight or questions that are super powerful that you recommend to try to include within that conversation?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Definitely delve into what the culture is like. You want to make sure that that culture, of whatever organization that you’re targeting, is a good fit for you and for what you want out of the workplace. But also try to ask them to introduce you to people, “Are there three people that you could introduce me to or three names of people that I should be reaching out to, to get some help?” And then, of course, always ask, “What are the next steps?”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, after you’ve had these conversations, what’s next?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Well, then you hope that Joe, our friend Joe, who connected us, will say, “Well, great. You know what, Mary? I’d love for you to come in and talk to the hiring manager. I know that we’ve got open positions in this, this, and this.” And then if you’re lucky, sometimes it’s a much longer game than this quick and this what’s next.

But if you’re lucky, you get in, do an interview, and then you tell your story, and that’s where the magic happens. The resume just tells me who you are, but the way that you would tell your story is what’s going to draw me in and want to hire you.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And how do we do that well?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Well, we start at the beginning. People, just remember this. Literally, don’t start from where you are currently. Start at the beginning because the brain is wired to listen to a story that’s in chronological order, “I started at undergrad here. I did this.” Talk about the transitions to, for example, I worked at Tribune Company in Chicago for almost 10 years.

The transition of why I left Tribune Company was because we had a job opportunity in New York. So, make sure that you’re not only talking about your accomplishments, but also the ways and the reasons that you left one particular job to go to another one.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And then, let’s say that conversation went smashingly well, and we have an offer. What now?

Mary Olson-Menzel
What now? This is fast forward career coaching. I love it. So, what now? You’ve got an offer on the table and you really have to think about, “Okay, is this offer…?” Yes, it’s amazing, you’ve gotten this far, “But is it an offer that’s going to work for me and my stage of life right now?”

So, you really want to weigh out all of your options with the offer. Is it compensation-wise what I want? Is the quality of life that I want going to be there? Is the culture that I want going to be there? going to be there? Where are the growth opportunities? Where are those? How can I make sure that I have forward momentum once I get into this job?”

And then, benefits package. All of it falls into a whole package for the whole person. And, once again, you are a whole person who’s negotiating a whole package for your life.

Pete Mockaitis
Alrighty. And so, when it comes to the negotiation, do you recommend we go ahead and do that?

Mary Olson-Menzel
That’s a tricky one. There are ways to negotiate, but you don’t want to push so hard that you turn them off and potentially rescind the offer.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay.

Mary Olson-Menzel
Yeah, I know. This is it. The stakes are really high. You’re at this point, and so you have to know exactly where you can negotiate. There are a lot of hiring managers who will tell you, “I mean, you’re at the top of my salary band, and this is as high as I can go.” All right, well, then you’re not going to negotiate on the salary, but you can potentially negotiate on the softer things, like maybe more paid time off, maybe a little extra vacation time, maybe a sign-on bonus, maybe they’ll pay for you to go get your graduate degree or pay for some professional training. Those are all negotiables that will help you get to a better place where you feel really good about the offer package.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And then, in terms of the actual dance or conversation, are there any things you recommend, magical words or phrases that we do say or we don’t say?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Well, I think the number one thing to think about is gratitude. Gratitude is everything when it comes to a negotiation, but also, when it comes to life. I mean, truly. I think that if you come to it from a place of appreciation, “Thank you so much for this offer. I am really excited to start at this company. I just have a few questions. Is there any room to move on the salary? Is there any room to negotiate something else?” So, coming from that place of appreciation and gratitude and really helping them understand that this is a place you want to work and you want to make it work for both of you.

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. Okay. So, you’re just asking about the flexibility. And that’s sort of an interesting question in that, I suppose, it’s in the employer’s interest if they really want you to be honest. Because, I mean, if you just wanted some savings, you’d be like, “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. No flexibility whatsoever,” you know? Rigid as a bar of iron.

Mary Olson-Menzel
Right.

Pete Mockaitis
However, hopefully, you’ve got them really, really fired up for you, in particular. And I guess it also varies a great deal in terms of, it might not even be very emotional at all in terms of, “Well, actually, no. This compensation package is standardized across all of North America, and so that’s kind of what it is.” So, “Okay, glad I asked. Now we know,” and you can sort of make the thumbs up, thumbs down decision on those terms.

As opposed to, I’ve heard other people say that they just have carte blanche authority to give a 10% salary increase to anybody who bothers to ask without approval from anyone higher up. It’s like, “Oh, wow. Well, that sure sounds like if that’s a semi-common policy…” you tell us if it is, Mary, “…then I should probably make sure to ask.”

Mary Olson-Menzel
You know, Pete, you brought up the most important thing – honesty from day one. Truly. So, when you start going through the interview process, a recruiter or a hiring manager is going to ask you, “What are your compensation expectations? What do you want to make? What do you need in this job?” And, hopefully, both sides are being very, very honest and upfront so that there are no surprises by the time you get to that point.

And, by the way, I can’t remember who said this recently, but they were saying, basically, it was an actor who said, “I’ve got this magic word is, ‘Thank you so much. By any chance, can you do this? By any chance, can you do this?’” So, you’re not saying, “I demand,” “I want.” You’re saying, “Hmm, is there a little wiggle room here? Is there a chance that this can go up 10%?”

And if they can, hopefully, they’ll be honest with you, and say, “Yes, absolutely,” and then they just made your day and you made 10% more that year. But if they can’t, they’re going to be honest with you, too, about that. And then you’ll start to be able to see where the negotiation space is.

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. Okay. Well, let’s say, “Hooray! A deal is made. A job offer made. A job offer accepted,“ any pro tips for the first weeks and months?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Yes, lots. So, the first 30, 60, 90 days of your tenure at this company are so important. You really, really want to become a sponge, you want to become a student of that organization, and you want to work side-by-side with your boss, with HR, to make sure that you’re meeting all the key clients, key stakeholders, and making sure that you’re having one-on-one meetings with these people so that you’re getting to know all of the people that are going to be surrounding you on a day-to-day basis.

And in What Lights You Up? I have a whole sheet of talking points to have those meetings, like, “Tell me about a typical day. What’s a day in the life for you? What keeps you up at night, Pete? How can I help with that by coming into this role?” All of those things, “How can we best work across departments?” You shouldn’t just be meeting with people in your department. You should be meeting with other departments, too, so that you can see where there’s room for cross-departmental collaboration.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And, tell me, we sort of walked through a process timeline. Are there some things you recommend that we just do always outside of when we’re specifically thinking about maybe a new opportunity or a transition, but just a regular wise thing to do to keep our careers and trajectories sharpened in a great spot?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Well, always remember that your career growth is in your hands, so don’t always rely upon your boss or the people in the organization to be constantly looking for opportunities for you. You’ve got to be open to those opportunities and be looking for them, and have it be a conversation with your boss too. So, one, never stop growing once you’re in that role, but also even if you’re so happy in this role, make sure that you’re keeping your network strong. Make sure that you’re having a friend at another company every once in a while.

Make sure that you’re watching what’s going on with other companies so that you’re not only growing within your own organization, but you’re creating a presence around you that can support you if, all of a sudden, the worst thing happens and you get laid off the next day. You want to have that network strong all the time.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, Mary, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Mary Olson-Menzel
Yeah, I would just reiterate that. Be open to the opportunities that are around you. Be open to conversations around you. Become a student of not only the industry that you’re in, but a student of life. Be curious about what’s going on around you, and just remember that you can focus on what lights you up. You can focus on what makes you happy. And I’ve seen thousands of my clients do it, so just don’t lose hope.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Mary Olson-Menzel
One of my favorite quotes is “The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what one’s destiny is, and then to do it,” and that is by Henry Ford.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Mary Olson-Menzel
I mean, I’m really kind of loving Mel Robbins right now. She’s just written this book called Let Them. It’s “The Let Them Theory.” And it’s all about how other people are going to do things that maybe you don’t like but you don’t have control over that. All you can control is what you react and how you react and what your mindset is. So, in life right now, somebody’s doing something you don’t like? Let them. But you can control how you react to it.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite book?

Mary Olson-Menzel
One of my very favorite books is a book called Leading with Gratitude by two of my fellow Marshall Goldsmith “100 Coaches” colleagues, Chester Elton and Adrian Gostick. Just a great, great book, all about bringing gratitude into your day-to-day life and how it just changes everything.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite tool?

Mary Olson-Menzel
My favorite tool that anyone can have access to is one called StrengthsFinder. And you can get it on Amazon, you can take the test, you can get your top five strengths. But what I love about it most, Pete, is that it throws away the notion that we were talking about earlier that, actually, that your CEO of Korn Ferry was talking about.

When you’re leaning into your natural gifts, you can amplify everything you’re doing. When, in America, companies many, many years ago would be like, “Well, Pete is a really great interviewer, but how good is he at finance? Maybe we should send Pete to some finance classes.” No, Tom Rath just blows this out of the water, and says, “No, let’s just continue to amplify our own strengths so that we can continue to get better and better at what we do and what we’re good at, and looking at our own natural gifts and bringing those to the workplace.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite habit?

Mary Olson-Menzel
My favorite habit, which has become a must-do most days, is, as soon as I get the kids off to school, I do a quick meditation, and then I get into a Peloton workout. And that, before I’ve started my day, work can go off in different directions, and you can be fighting fires or doing whatever you have to do all day, but I already know that I’ve gotten my kids off to school safely, I’ve grounded myself with a meditation, and I’ve taken care of my body so that I have more energy for the rest of the day with my clients.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with clients and readers and audience members?

Mary Olson-Menzel
I really think that my favorite quote from the book, is it’s imperative to work, to keep the lights on in your house, but it’s even more important to keep the lights on in your heart and do what you love. Because when you’re doing what you love, you’ll get hired faster, you’ll get promoted faster, you’ll make more money, whatever money is to you, whether that’s time or cash or whatever, and the byproduct of being happier.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Mary Olson-Menzel
They can connect with me on LinkedIn, as I said. It’s the best place to connect. Mary Olson-Menzel at my LinkedIn profile. You can also go to MaryOlsonMenzel, all one word, dot com, for anything you need to know about the book. And then for any work that we do is MVPExec.com.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Mary Olson-Menzel
There’s no better time than today to start doing it.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Mary, thank you. I appreciate this and wish you the best.

Mary Olson-Menzel
Thank you, Pete. It’s been fun.

1008: The Nine Steps for Making Career Progress with Ethan Bernstein

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Ethan Bernstein reveals the process for finding and seizing career opportunities you won’t regret.

You’ll Learn

  1. The four quests driving every career transition 
  2. The exercise that keeps you relevant 
  3. The problem with job descriptions—and what to focus on instead 

About Ethan 

Ethan Bernstein is the Edward W. Conard Associate Professor of Business Administration in the Organizational Behavior unit at the Harvard Business School, where he teaches the Developing Yourself as a Leader and Managing Human Capital courses. He spent five years at The Boston Consulting Group and two years in executive positions at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, including Chief Strategy Officer and Deputy Assistant Director of Mortgage Markets. Bernstein earned his doctorate in management at Harvard, where he also received a JD/MBA.

Resources Mentioned

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Ethan Bernstein Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Ethan, welcome.

Ethan Bernstein
Thank you, Pete. It’s great to be here.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m so excited to hear some of your wisdom. And I’d love to know, you are teaching and researching organizational behavior, and that was a field of study that I did and I love it so much. Can you share with us a particularly surprising or fascinating discovery you’ve made about us humans and organizations that has really struck you and stuck with you?

Ethan Bernstein
So, I spend my days and sometimes nights studying workplaces, particularly trends in workplaces, like increased transparency, increased connectivity in workplaces today, the way that affects employee behaviors, and the way those behaviors affect performance. And one of the things that’s captured my attention, I suppose you call it a surprise, is that we’ve been two-plus decades in the field of organizational behavior telling people to chart their own path, find their own way, create their own journey, and people still don’t really know how to do it, and it shouldn’t be a surprise because we really haven’t told them how.

And so, that’s what led to this interesting bit of research that we’ve been doing around how people hire jobs for the job they want to do in their career as opposed to just being hired by organizations.

Pete Mockaitis
How people hire jobs. That’s a fun turn of a phrase right there.

Ethan Bernstein
Well, Clay Christensen, who was one of my dissertation advisors, created a theory called Jobs to be Done Theory, which Clay used to solve one of the key frustrations he had. He saw great organizations, great people, creating new products that didn’t sell, and for him, that was frustrating because it just seemed like a waste. All these great people, all the material and time and everything else that went into it and then ultimately didn’t work.

And the Jobs to Be Done Theory suggested that the reason for that was that people don’t just buy a product, they hire a product for a job to be done in their life. And so, if you sell a product based on attributes, like an apartment has granite countertops and an open kitchen, that’s not actually why people buy it. People buy it because they can imagine themselves cooking in that kitchen, talking to people.

That the experiences, not the features, are what matter, and that if you really understood the experiences people were looking for, the struggling moment that led them to hire that product for a job to be done, then you could create other products to solve that job to be done better. And if you think about why people move jobs, that’s oftentimes why they move jobs. They realize that they’re struggling, they want to make a certain kind of progress, that progress isn’t being delivered by the organization or the role they’re in, and so they seek a different role that could do that.

And that was the surprising moment, I suppose, for me in 2009 when I saw Bob Moesta, who worked with Clay on the protocols behind Jobs to Be Done, do one of his investigative journalistic interviews of a consumer who bought a product to understand the causation behind why that person had bought that product, what job they’d hired that product to do.

And I sat there thinking, “I gave some advice to somebody on their career this morning. I should have done this because then I would have been able to provide better advice.” And 15 years later, that’s what we’ve done over and over again, over a thousand times to collect the data for this book.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. That’s cool. And when you say, with regard to the data in the book, any really striking themes, patterns, insights that just pop off the page for you?

Ethan Bernstein
So, as an academic, I expect there’d be huge variation in the causation. People, it seems, choose different jobs for a whole variety of reasons. When we actually took all these interviews, these 60-plus-minute interviews, coded them, all the rigorous research that keeps me fully employed, we actually found that the things that push people away from a particular role and pull them towards a particular role, that there’s actually a lot of commonalities.

We clustered it all down to 30 pushes and pulls, which is a remarkably small number if you think about it. Now, I will say, to me that’s a small number. To the outside world, 30 was too many. So as publishers said, “Wait, wait, 30, that’s too many for us to remember,” we then went back and looked at patterns across and found even more so that if you look at the patterns across those pushes and pulls, people are largely just on one of four quests.

And what stage of your career you’re in, what stage of your life you’re in, can have impact, but people will filter through each of those four quests over the course of probably their career. But understanding what quest you’re on then provides a person with the ability to make them more awesome at their job because that’s when the advice matters. You can give great advice to a person on a different quest and it can be bad advice because they’re on the wrong quest for that advice.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that’s really resonating, and I’m chewing on this. Could you perhaps bring this to life for us with a particular person and a transformation that they saw as they were thinking through this stuff and coming up with fresh insights by thinking about it this way?

Ethan Bernstein
So, let me explain the four quests a little bit, and then I’ll do what Michael Horn, my co-author, made me do in the book, which is I put myself in the book, and I’ll write myself into the framework as well in a prior role, not in my current one, just in case the dean of Harvard Business School is listening to this podcast.

So, the four quests. One is, get out. These are people who genuinely find their energy drained by the role they’re in and find that the capabilities they want the organization to be drawing on aren’t the capabilities that is actually being asked for. So, they are both not happy with how their work is going and the what of their work. And for them, they’re just looking to reset both those dimensions, they’re trying to get out.

Think of the opposite dimension. If you’re trying to build on both things, you’re actually quite happy with the work environment and you’re happy with the capabilities you’re asked to deliver, you just want to take the next step. So, for some reason you’re ready for that next step and you want to take it, and the organizations of the world and the world in general is pretty much designed for the take-the-next steppers. That’s so-called progression in most organizations.

The off dimensions are more interesting. So, if I love what I’m asked to do, the what, and some of us are out there right now thinking, “I love being what I am, like, what I’m asked to do. I’m respected for the work I do, and so forth, but I hate the how. I don’t want to commute anymore because it wastes my time. I’m working too hard because I have a new family. I’m not working hard enough because I’m an empty nester.”

“The manager that’s now managing me because that person switched doesn’t respect me for the way I’m doing my work, and so they’re asking me to do work differently for their purposes, whatever the case might be. The work drains my energy more than drives it. And so, I want to reset the how, I want to regain control.”

The people who, on the other hand, love the work environment they’re in, everything about it, or most things about it, but they’re being asked to do things, that the reputation they’ve got, the work they’re actually being asked to deliver, is not drawing on the capabilities they either thought that they have or want to have, those people are trying to regain alignment. And so, once upon a time, Pete, I was a consultant.

Pete Mockaitis
Me too.

Ethan Bernstein
I thought we might have that in common. And I had been asked, at a firm I loved, I really actually, I loved the job, and I had been asked to step in for somebody who’d left a project midstream, and it was a restructuring project. And I stepped in, we delivered the product to the client, we delivered the project, all was good, and then another such project came along, and because they needed someone with that expertise in the local office, they asked me if I would do it, and I said, “Okay.” I mean, I was still at the stage of my career where I was like, “Sure, of course, I’m happy to help where I can.”

So, now I had two projects in restructuring under my belt, and we all know that restructuring projects oftentimes involve certain amounts of layoffs, and so that was something I was, apparently, getting good at. So, when the third time around, right, a client came to ask for this and wanted the same team that had done the previous projects, I got called and brought into the conversation with the client even before the project began, and was introduced as the expert on that.

And that was the moment I knew I needed to regain alignment because that had never been my intention. And this happens to a lot of people on project-based work and other work. You just develop a reputation and expertise that wasn’t what you wanted to do, and you love the how, but the what? And that’s how I ended up at the Harvard Business School doing a doctoral program.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. Well, I can’t help but chuckle, here we are, former consultants, and we find ourselves discussing yet another 2×2 matrix. We can’t help ourselves.

Ethan Bernstein
If it weren’t an actual 2×2, it would have to be a 2×2 in the sky that we would be seeing in our own imaginations. But yes, and I will be clear though, this is not categorical as a 2×2 typically is.

So, get out, take the next step, regain control, regain alignment. These are like poles on a map – north, south, east, and west. There’s a lot of space between the North Pole and the South Pole. There’s a lot of space between regain alignment and regain control, and people are in that space. So, these are just likelihoods.

In fact, we offer an assessment based on the pushes and pulls so people can try to figure out where they might be on the quests using an assessment at JobMoves.com. It’s available for free. But the assessment will just give you likelihoods and then you ultimately have to pick based on those likelihoods.

This is not about telling you what you are. This is about helping you be more aware of where the pushes and pulls are so you can understand if those forces are aligning enough that they overcome the habits of the present and the anxieties, the new solution that might keep us in our role feeling stuck, maybe silently quitting, I don’t know quiet quitting, I don’t know, but it’s understanding the alignment that might be drawing us to something new.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, that’s handy. So, we can think about things in terms of “Do we have a fit on the what side and on the how side?” You’ve got a juicy teaser, I can’t resist, there’s a mindset shift that helps us love instead of regret a new job. Is this it or is there another one you want to unpack for us?

Ethan Bernstein
So, that’s the broad one. So, if Clay’s frustration was around new products that didn’t get sold, my frustration is around people who disrupt their lives, sometimes their family, certainly their career trajectories, in order to take a new role only to find, six to twelve months later, they’re unhappy with it, which, if you just asked a room, “What’s the fastest you’ve ever gone from taking a new job to knowing it wasn’t right for you,” over three-quarters typically say between a month and a year.

That’s my frustration. And that’s not leading anybody into a good place. It is causing us a huge amount of disruption and it’s an indication, I think, of a process that’s broken. And so, my goal here is to try and help people do that better.

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. Well, I’m curious then, on the outside looking in, it could be a little bit tricky to know, “What’s my experience going to feel like in that month to year in which I go, ‘Uh-oh, oopsies.’” Do you have any pro tips in terms of, like, top research methodologies or questions to ask or steps to take to prevent this regret?

Ethan Bernstein
So, let me offer you a few a few thoughts from the book and from our research and from my course “Developing Yourself as a Leader,”

So first, I think having the pushes and pulls is helpful. That list, you ask somebody, “How do you do it? How are you feeling about this job?” they have no idea how to answer. You give people a list of 30 items and ask which ones are operational for them, it’s much easier. It does prime them, but given the data, suggests that most of those are going to be covering what people are feeling, it’s just an easier place to start with a menu as opposed to start with a blank slate.

Then, once you’ve got a sense of your quest, you know which dimension you’re on and where that likely is, then you start asking yourself the question, “Okay, so what drives my energy and what drains it?” And this is, again, not about attributes. It’s not about the granite countertop and the open kitchen. These are experiences. In the job world, those are titles.

Titles have a huge return to ego, and you’ve got to get a better one. Those return, that return does not last long. What you really want, actually, is to think about what you’re going to do, not what you’re going to be. That has a much longer life cycle in terms of its return to you.

On the capability side, similarly, we talk about strengths and weaknesses. I’m sure, Pete, when I talk about strengths and weaknesses to you, you have a sense actually, those are sort of ingrained in you, what we’d say their trait instead of state. Instead, think of something like a balance sheet that describes you in the current moment in time. Just like a company, you have assets, things that are acquired by you at material cost, that you are hoping will deliver future value in your career, acquired, by the way, and funded by liabilities, usually the expenditure of time, effort, and potentially money.

Those assets depreciate over time. If they depreciate without you replenishing them, thinking about the next role, you’re not staying relevant. So, you can think about a much more deliberate approach to building and keeping, maintaining, your capabilities, given the change of the world around you, than strengths and weaknesses really gives you permission for.

And all of that begins to then shape up what it is you’re hoping to achieve. Once you’ve done that, I have another set of five steps after that. So, we’ve gone through steps one through four, five steps of advice for how you actually get what you’re looking for.

Pete Mockaitis
Could you give us a few examples of assets to help shake off static strengths, weaknesses kind of a framing we might be operating with?

Ethan Bernstein
When I do this with my students, a couple typically show up routinely. There are skills out there, hard skills, technical skills. If you’re a software engineer, then your degree of knowledge about a particular platform of engineering, that’s an asset. These platforms, these languages change. That’s something you need to reinvest in if you want to stay relevant. And there are many other kinds of technical. For market analysts, your knowledge of the market, any one of these pieces of technical knowledge, that’s certainly an asset.

Pete Mockaitis
I’m thinking about marketing too. It’s sort of, like, things are constantly changing in terms of, like, just the rules for Google ads or Facebook ads. And then it’s like, “Oh, yeah. Well, that strategy worked three years ago, but, oh, you’re doing that now? Oh, wow, that’s really out of date.” And it’s funny, these, it seems like some skills have a short shelf life and some almost seem eternal.

Ethan Bernstein
There are some evergreen skills, but there aren’t very many. We want there to be more than there actually are, I think. And so, most technical skills today depreciate much faster than they used to. So Boris Groysberg, who once upon a time, he’s a faculty member here on the Business School’s faculty. Boris explained to me this exercise, and his favorite example is mechanics, an auto mechanic.

An auto mechanic of the 1960s, you learned a car, you leverage that for 20 years. You learn a car in 2020, 2024, how long does that really last? Things are changing much faster, especially the degree to which it’s about coding and not about the actual mechanical skills. It’s different. It’s changing. And part of the reason people are so so desperate for progress, on a daily or weekly or monthly basis, is because they’re just trying to remain relevant. So that’s one, technical skills.

Another one that comes up frequently? Relationships. Networks. Network might seem evergreen. My friends will always be my friends. My contacts will always be my contacts. Weak ties will remain weak ties. That’s, oftentimes, the way we find information. Not by the strong ties, not the people that we’re closest to, but the friends of friends, if you will.

And yet, really think about it. If you don’t invest in those relationships, how long do they actually last? Maybe a couple years? Maybe you can go back to someone five years, ten years down the line and say, “Hey, remember those great times we had? By the way, I’m looking for a job. Do you know any interesting openings?” But a network depreciates, too. Most things depreciate.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that’s heavy, and you’re right. We wish more stuff lasted longer, because just the way we wish our roof lasted longer. We didn’t have to spend the money to replace it as often. So, I would like your thought then, what does really, really last?

Ethan Bernstein
Well, my own view is actually what lasts is the constant effort we put into refreshing our assets. So, remaining relevant is a deliberate act, and the more deliberate you are, the better off you are on that capabilities dimension. Now, if you’re in a build, not a reset mode, you’re just trying to refresh what’s on there.

The good news for most of us, though, who are oftentimes finding ourselves on the reset capabilities front, where we’re trying to, for example, regain alignment, if all assets do depreciate over some amount of time, there’s actually quite a bit of flexibility as long as you anticipate it. And so, our advice, our core advice, is not to go for the evergreen product, but instead to think about where you want to be in five years’ time.

Worry a little bit less about your income statement, if you will, today, and a little bit more about your balance sheet tomorrow, because that’s what’s likely to be able to influence what you’re going to be considered for on the next job.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And do you have a general approach by which we attempt to deduce, “Okay, what assets do I need in the future? And how shall I prioritize the cultivation of them?”

Ethan Bernstein
So, we find that most people enter a move, either because of pushes or because of pulls, either they’re being pushed away from something, or they’re being pulled towards something. It’s an opportunity that looks too good not to consider, or, “I’m frustrated with my current situation.” Whichever one you enter in, the next step is to think about the other side of it. What are you leaving behind? What might draw you in?

We have not written a book about finding your dream job because we don’t believe in dream jobs, we believe in good tradeoffs. So, we encourage people to not answer the question, “What do you want to do next?” We, instead, ask people to answer the question, “What are three to five prototypes of what you might want to do next, given the quest you’re on?” It’s a much easier question for people to answer. And the more contrast you create across those prototypes, the more contrast creates meaning for you and you understand the relative nature of these things.

And that conversation then, combined with your energy drivers and drains of past jobs and the capabilities you have and the balance sheet you might have or might not have and want to build, help you begin to think about how to prioritize certain tradeoffs over others for your next move. So, it is about choosing, not about designing from scratch.

This is not just a two-by-two or pie in the sky, but it is about choosing wisely based on your particular progress, the kind of progress you want to make. Because what we saw in The Great Resignation, when people want to make a certain kind of progress and the world offers them progression that doesn’t match, what do they do? They leave.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Now, when you say three to five prototypes, could you articulate, like, “Here’s what I mean by a prototype, like how someone might articulate that sketch?”

Ethan Bernstein
It’s three to five versions of a job you might want to have. Just like if you’re a new product developer, it’s three to five versions of the product you think that people might want to buy. I’m not going to ask you, Pete, what you’re looking to do next, but…

Pete Mockaitis
I might do this until I die. We’ll see.

Ethan Bernstein
But maybe there’s a version of this. Maybe there’s another podcast around the corner. What does that look like? How is it that you would change this or change that? Would it be within an organization? Would it be outside an organization? A side gig? Is it a set of side gigs? Is it a part of my portfolio? What dimensions could I change? Could I change geography? Could I change role like a functional role? Could I change any one of a number of aspects of this?

If I took the core central quest that I’m on, let’s say it is regain alignment, and wanted to change some of the capabilities I’m being asked to do, okay, what are the three to five versions of that role I could imagine that would allow me to do that, that would still take into account the fact that I like the way my energy is driven currently by the job?

Those pushes and pulls don’t exist for me. And also took into account the capabilities I might want to keep, I might want to build on, so that I’m just focused on changing the dimensions that would allow me to achieve what I’m trying to achieve in the next round.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, I think I hear the conceptual idea of what you mean by a prototype. Could you now say, for yourself or someone, students that you’ve encountered recently, how they would articulate all of that in a conversation?

Ethan Bernstein
So, here’s an example. One story in the book is of somebody who believed the next job she wanted to have involved working with scientists and travel. So, a travel coordinator at a top scientific magazine sounded great, until she discovered that actually a travel coordinator neither works with a scientist nor travels. But the job description sounded fantastic. The party material was great, but what she was going to do wasn’t what she ultimately wanted to do.

But that’s where the prototypes come in, so that would be one potential prototype. And you can go out there and find these roles, if you need to, but most of us have the ability, especially if we have one or two or three jobs in the world, to get a sense for, “Okay, so based on what I’ve done, which are the pieces I keep, which are the pieces I don’t?” But that’s an example of it.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. And I think, so often folks get the wrong idea about a job from the outside. And I’m thinking about sort of early career or picking majors, and our folks will say, “I’m going to go to law school because I like arguing, and in the courtroom, I could do that.” And so, hopefully, they’ll learn pretty early in the research process that, “Well, hey, most of the work of a lawyer is not that most of the time, and you’re mostly researching stuff and writing stuff and talking about why this paragraph or clause needs to go or be adjusted in such a fashion. So, you want to know that earlier rather than later.”

Ethan Bernstein
And once you’ve specified five prototypes, you would do what any new product developer would do. You’d go ask people about them. So, you can actually learn before switching if you have the material to go have those conversations, and we’re not talking about just people talk about informational interviews. That is part of this.

But you’re not actually looking for a person’s job, or a job like theirs. You’re actually looking to truly understand that lawyer, “What does she do on a daily basis? Does it match this prototype or not?” Because if it doesn’t, then you’ve been sold a bill of goods by the world that doesn’t actually exist, and it’s good to know now before you switch than after you switch and discover that you’re one of those people who, one month to 12 months in, took a role that you didn’t want to take.

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. Thank you. Okay. Well, you say we got nine steps, and you say we’ve covered some steps and there’s more to be covered. Just so we get it on the record, could you enumerate, “Step one is this. Step two is that”?

Ethan Bernstein
So, nine steps, and you’ll notice in the book, it looks like a little bit of a Chutes and Ladders view. But step one, we’ve talked about, understanding the pushes and pulls. Once you’ve understood the pushes and pulls, we’re going to try to start putting those on the dimensions. So, step two is understanding the energy drain and drivers of prior jobs, and then the capabilities, doing a balance sheet exercise, a career balance sheet exercise, step three.

Step four, then, identify your quest. It doesn’t have to be exactly right, but at least getting an initial sense of what your quest might be. You can always go back and revisit these later. Step five, then you develop those prototypes, those three to five prototypes, because it’s a much easier answer than what do you want to do, to say what are the three to five things you might consider doing.

Step six, to pick the prototype. Here’s where we look at those priorities that you’ve made, the decisions you’ve made in the past, what you prioritize in your energy drivers and drains, what capabilities you might want to focus on and see if that can inform us to go towards at least one prototype, maybe two. Then check those prototypes against real jobs out there to ensure that these prototypes are not just dream jobs, they’re trade-offs, they’re ways of deciding on things that actually exist and matching them to those real opportunities.

So, now you’ve been through seven steps. At some point, someone is going to ask you to describe those seven steps so that they can have a compelling reason to hire you, and that’s step eight, to create your story spine. We’re not talking about an elevator pitch. Part of what we’re trying to do is encourage people not to sell themselves into a job that’s trying to sell them something about the organization, but instead go for match, go for fit.

So, instead of an elevator pitch, which is typically a sales pitch, we’re asking people to use the Pixar Story Spine to come up with the progression, the narrative, of how you ended up deciding that this is what you needed to do next and be able to do that quickly in short order. And only then, step nine, is to apply for jobs.

You only actually apply for those jobs once you have all those pieces because, especially in a talent environment like today, if you’re one of a hundred, you might have trouble finding the job. If you’re one of three, and you’re really compelling about the reasons why you’re one of three, and it’s a great fit, you’re much more likely to be successful in making that move.

And if we are, indeed, in a world, which we seem to be in, in which people will move jobs, that could be internal or external, once every four years on average, more frequently for certain generations, people make progress by moving. And if you’re going to do that, you want to make as much progress as you can within a single move.

Pete Mockaitis
And can you   a picture for what a one in a hundred candidate sounds like versus a one in three candidate?

Ethan Bernstein
So, I am the person around here who spends a lot of time thinking about HR. So, here you get to hear my pet peeve first.

Pete Mockaitis
All right.

Ethan Bernstein
Job descriptions. Job descriptions these days have everything packed into them, and there’s a good reason for that. You mentioned lawyers earlier, Pete. Lawyers want us to be able to hire anyone so they put everything they can into the job description. And what it ends up sounding like, you’ve seen some of these, right, “Entry-level job. Five years of working experience required.” It’s just, no one can fit into a job description these days because it looks like they’re asking for unicorns.

So, what do we do as individuals in the workplace who want that job? We take our resume, we put it all in there, we pack everything we can into it so that we can be the superheroes who will fill that role. So, we’ve got a matching process between superheroes and job descriptions. It’s not doing anyone any good to find fit. It’s just two people trying to sell each other on a fit. Sales is not fit.

So, that’s what the one in a hundred looks like. You’re trying to convince somebody that you’re better than the other 99 on the dimensions you’ve read about in the job description using the lines of your resume. The one in the three? That’s the person who doesn’t just have the resume with all the stuff in the words, but actually can explain the spaces in between the roles, can talk about the trajectory.

It doesn’t have to be a line. It can be a zigzag. Most of us zigzag all the time. That’s how we make progress. If it looked like a straight line, then it’s just progression, which is fine, but most of us don’t look like that, and we haven’t written a book for people who are on a progression because they know where they’re going next. That’s the one in three, though.

The one in three is the person who actually has an explanation, a story spine that makes sense for the zig and the zag, that makes the person who you’re talking to convinced that actually this is the right role for you because you will grow in the role and the role will grow with you, and the organization and the individual will both benefit.

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. So, we’ve got the story, the context, the whole picture, it fits together, and there seems to be a real deep congruence or rightness about it. That’s cool. I want to follow up on what you said about the lawyers. The lawyers want the job descriptions to sound like anyone could do them. Could you expand on that? What’s this behind the scenes for us that we should be aware of?

Ethan Bernstein
Oh, so for years, organizations have structured job descriptions to allow the hiring manager as much flexibility as she or he wants to hire the person they ultimately find for the role.

Pete Mockaitis
In order to protect them in the event of a liability situation, lawsuit.

Ethan Bernstein
Right. Exactly. Well, I don’t know if it’s just to protect them, to ensure that they can say “This person fits within the job description that we ultimately found.” I’m not an employment lawyer so I’m not going as far as pretending to be one. My law degree did not take me that far. But there is a degree to which it permits them flexibility as a hiring manager, because there’s just enough in there that anyone could fit the job description.

That’s kind of the problem, isn’t it? Anyone can fit the job description. We actually suggest shadow job descriptions that the manager can share so that people understand what the role actually does require as opposed to what could potentially be the shape and form of the job.

Pete Mockaitis
Understood. Well, it’s funny, this actually never occurred to me that the job descriptions are formulated with an intention other than clearly describing the job and who might flourish within it. Call me naive, Ethan.

Ethan Bernstein
Well, I’ll tell you, I, oftentimes, when I’m talking with people about this, will ask a poll question about how much jobs descriptions describe the work that people are ultimately doing in their roles. Some people come out in the 80 to 100 percent, but it’s a small number. Most of the time, most of what we’re actually doing, we don’t remember being in our job description, or we don’t think our job description really prepared us for.

And that’s because, if you track the history of job descriptions, where they came from and how they’ve developed, they really weren’t necessarily designed to do that over time. They’re designed to do something else. They’re designed to provide the hiring manager with the flexibility she needs in order to hire the people that she wants to hire.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, inside scoop, behind the scenes. Thank you. Well, let’s say that we’ve gone through a lot of these steps and it’s like, “Okay, wow. This is really clear. I need to make a change, and this is sort of what it looks like, and, boy, we’ve got an opportunity that looks appealing, and maybe we’re going to apply,” but there’s some just emotional stuff in terms of there’s some fears, some anxieties, there’s the devil you know. How do you advise folks when their head says, “Yeah, we got to get out of here and go in a direction like this,” but internally they’re feeling fear, anxiety, and really not sure about taking the steps, making the leap?

Ethan Bernstein
Development is a social process, we know that. So, therefore, is moving. If you’re not actively talking to people about your development goals, ideally people at work, then you’re going to end up in a situation just like you described, “I’ve gotten eight steps in and now I’m feeling very anxious because what I have in my mind and what the world around me thinks of me, we’re on two different wavelengths at this point.”

So, every step, of that nine steps, for us, is social. The pushes and pulls, we actually have a chapter in the book for mentors to be able to train up on how to do that job, that interview. What Bob Moesta, our co-author, developed with Clay in terms of the protocols for conducting an interview on Jobs to be Done, and then they do it together.

Each step, actually, involves other people. That should have a huge impact on reducing the fear and anxiety you’re talking about before it becomes overwhelming, before it becomes such a block that people simply don’t move forward. It is counterintuitive because most of the time, we don’t want to, don’t feel comfortable talking about this at work, but maybe that’s because we haven’t had a common language, we haven’t had a common framework, we haven’t had, Pete, the two-by-two.

But, more importantly, we haven’t had a process that we could bring to the table, that individuals could bring to the table, to make use of the assets, the people around them, because my field has been saying for decades. “Lead your self-development, this is great. It gives you all the flexibility in the world.” We were talking about this, to create your own journey, and we just haven’t given people the advice and the means for doing it. If we do, maybe they’d be more comfortable making this a social process.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, Ethan, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention, top do’s and/or don’ts, before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Ethan Bernstein
Don’t talk about what you’re going to be. Talk about what you’re going to do. Don’t focus on strengths and weaknesses. Think about your assets and liabilities instead. Don’t do this alone. Be social in the process. I know it sounds very counterintuitive, doesn’t it, based on how people typically do this.

But I guess I would conclude with don’t keep expecting more from each other. So, this is a conversation, ultimately, in most organizations between the individual, the manager, and HR. Each of those parties has had a bit of a history for pointing the finger somewhere else. HR says, “Managers don’t have time.” Managers say, “I don’t know what the employee wants.” Employee says, “No one wants to listen to me.” This has to be a joint endeavor.

And so, top do? Don’t keep this a secret. People are very open, typically, to understanding what you’re trying to achieve. And the less you say as an individual, the more people think that what you’re needing in terms of progress is big rather than small. Whereas most people, when you really dive down, are just looking for little bits of progress over periods of time.

As a manager, don’t ignore the fact that we’ve given you 30 pushes and pulls. We’ve given you the reasons why employees quit. Many employees quit. So why not use those to have a conversation about which might be operating or not operating with the people that you’re working with, and see if you can’t start a conversation which people leaders are aware of how their individuals are feeling on those dimensions that matter for making them potentially move?

And then HR? Track it all. Because quests do change over time, but they don’t change over days. So, if you have a sense for what people are trying to achieve, you’re much more likely to both make them productive, as opposed to quiet quitters, and you’re much more likely to retain them than using the tools that we’ve been using forever, which include things like, frankly, money. Money’s great. Everybody would like more money. Everybody would like a better work life.

Everyone would like all these things, except when you give it to people, we, it affects us for a little while, and not so much after that, because in the end, we each have our own definition of progress. And if you’re not aware of what that is, either as the individual, the manager, or the HR person, you’re not actually customizing the employee experience to the person who you’re trying to keep.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Ethan Bernstein
I’m going to go to a Mark Twain quote, given where I am in the world. “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” And every time I hear that quote, I’d love to ask him a question, “What on earth am I supposed to do in between?” The answer is, make progress. And, hopefully, some of this advice helps everyone out there not just be awesome at their job but make progress in it as well.

Pete Mockaitis
A favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Ethan Bernstein
Chalk. Believe it or not, at the Harvard Business School, we still have chalkboards. You know why?

Pete Mockaitis
Tell me.

Ethan Bernstein
As opposed to whiteboards, this is at least my understanding of it, at least as opposed to whiteboards, when you write with chalk on the board, people hear it. You’re actually working with the students to make progress together in the classroom. And that’s why I love chalk because the sound, and the work together, putting their comments on the board, because I’m not writing my own thoughts, I’m writing theirs, goes from blank slate at minute zero to full board at minute 80, structured in a way that we actually understand how we’ve all contributed actively to the conversation and the progress we’ve made together.

Pete Mockaitis
Beautiful. That’s poetic. Yeah. And a favorite habit?

Ethan Bernstein
I have a six-year-old and a 12-year-old. My favorite habit is reading to them every night.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks; they quote back to you often?

Ethan Bernstein
Maybe I can answer that question and anticipate your question about my favorite book at the same time. I, oftentimes, will end my course with a children’s book that I then rewrite for the lessons of the course. It does turn out, though, you don’t need to rewrite that much. Yes, pull out the red pen, cross out some lines here and there, make it more focus to the course, but you can learn a lot from a book like Pooh’s Instruction Book.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Ethan Bernstein
I’m at e@hbs.edu, just the letter E.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s really cool. That’s one of the shortest email addresses I’ve ever encountered. Beautiful.

Ethan Bernstein

Seven characters without the period and the @ sign, yep.

Pete Mockaitis

And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Ethan Bernstein

Think about the next one now.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. Ethan, this is fun. I wish you much lovely progress.

Ethan Bernstein

Thank you, Pete. This has been fun. I really appreciate the questions.