Finding Fit Archives - Page 2 of 10 - How to be Awesome at Your Job

Pete Mockaitis
Tricia, welcome to How to be Awesome at Your Job.

Tricia Sitemere
Hi, Pete. How are you? Thank you for having me.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I’m doing great. Doing great. I’m excited to talk career, strategery, and mindsets, and finding great opportunities. But, first, I need to hear about you and the oboe. What’s the story here?

Tricia Sitemere
Oh, my goodness. Okay. So, I played the oboe for six years, and, initially, I wanted to play the drums. And I’m talking to my mom about it, and the first thing that she’s really thinking of is, “I don’t want this girl banging drums in my house.” And so, she was like, “Pick a quieter instrument.” That definitely backfired on her because the oboe is not really quiet.

And I would think that it’s kind of an acquired taste just from a sound perspective. And so, I played the oboe for six years, I marched in the marching band. In high school, I played clarinet doing that, and then spent two years in color guard, so I’m a band geek, and I absolutely love music.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. I was going to say, can you march an oboe? But, yeah, all right, clarinet. I did marching band, four years saxophone, in high school. And at one time, I went to the Drum Corps International World Championships in Indianapolis just to see what that was about. It was just as cool as I thought it would be. So, I’m totally down. Totally down.

Tricia Sitemere
Nice. Nice. Yeah, I was at a parade just yesterday, and it was cool to see all of the bands assembled in their band uniforms, and I was like, “Oh, my gosh, that was my life once upon a time.”

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah, I remember we did the competitions, it felt like the most important thing is that we were going to make the state finals. I think at one point, I thoughtfully considered and said I’d be willing to trade a pinky in order to achieve that objective.

Tricia Sitemere
Oh, I don’t think I was that committed.

Pete Mockaitis
It was just funny because I didn’t practice all that hard but I’m willing to part with a finger, I was like, “I know my music, I know my spot, that’s right.” All right. Well, so that’s that story. Now, so your company, it’s called CTRL Alt Delete.

Tricia Sitemere
Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I remember back in my marching band days, I would push Ctrl-Alt-Delete a lot on a PC back in the day. Can you tell us what is this organization? What’s your work about? And what’s behind the name?

Tricia Sitemere
Yeah. So, CTRL Alt Delete is a professional development and career coaching company. CTRL Alt Delete actually stands for take control of your future, alter your mindset, and delete all doubt.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, there you go.

Tricia Sitemere
It’s kind of a…yeah, it’s a personal mantra of mine. It is the mantra that I share with my clients. It’s kind of a baseline for a lot of the things that I do. I think it’s very relevant when you think about your career that you do need to be the one that takes control. And sometimes you do need that change in mindset and how you think about things, and deleting the doubt, and being confident in who you are, your abilities, what you bring to the table, your leadership, your influence. Those are all very important to the clients that I serve.

And so, I coach folks one on one, specifically mid-career professionals around career transitions, career advancement and growth. And then I take a lot of the case studies and the things that I’m seeing, the trends that I’m seeing when I’m supporting my one-on-one clients, and I create training programs for HR teams so that they can set their managers up to success, to better support their employees, which, in turn, increases employee retention, employee engagement, those types of things. So, it’s a very rewarding work and I absolutely love it.

Pete Mockaitis
Fantastic. Well, I love those three steps there. Can you tell us a cool story about someone who did just that, they took control of their career, they altered their mindset, they deleted doubt? Like, walk us through what did they do and what were the results?

Tricia Sitemere
I will take you back to where this all started, and I would say the first person that I know that had to take control of their future, alter their mindset, and delete all doubt was me. And I bounced around from a bunch of different careers. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do. And I had a lot of interests but I was just kind of blowing in the wind. I was like, “Okay, I’m going to go back to school.” I got a Master’s.

And came back to Dallas, I went to graduate school in Boston. Shout out to Simmons University. I moved back to Dallas and was still kind of blowing in the wind. And the first thing that I did to kind of take control of my career and my future was a really deep self-assessment, like, “What do I like? What do I not like? What am I good at? What do I want to be good at? What do I want my career to look like?” And I just started putting a plan in place for myself.

In terms of altering the mindset around that, I studied communication management in graduate school, and I thought that I was going to go into, like, crisis communication, working for the Red Cross, managing communication strategy for natural disasters and terrible things. And that was not a space I wanted to spend my time in.

And for a while I thought I was stuck, I was like, “Okay, this is what I have spent the money for. My parents have already paid for this advanced degree. I have to stay in this space.” And it wasn’t until I started thinking about my situation differently and opening my mindset and being open to what my career was going to look like, and being open to having conversations, exploring different things, I continued to feel stuck.

And so, that was when I was able to alter my mindset. And then the deleting all doubt, I don’t think that this is an off-and-on switch kind of thing. I think deleting doubt is something that takes time. It’s something that grows within yourself as you continue to learn about yourself, as you continue to sharpen skills, and just kind of get to know yourself better.

And so, when I was diving further into, “What is my career going to look like?” I started in learning and development, and then I went into recruiting. It wasn’t until I had gotten used to the role, my confidence started to grow, and then I was really able to start deleting the doubt, like, “Hey, Tricia, you can do this. Hey, Tricia, you’re thinking about this in a really positive way. Hey, Tricia, you have some good leadership skills that are driving the team.”

And then, from there, I was able to have a wildly successful career in HR before transitioning into what I do with CTRL Alt Delete. And so, that’s a story that is personal to me because I lived it, and it was really something that I see in a lot of my one-on-one clients. When they come to me, they are often frustrated, whether they’re not fulfilled in their role, they’re feeling bored, there’s financial constraints.

And I help them put a plan together in place so that they can take control of their future. I always tell folks, “You need to be an active participant in your own life.” And taking control is the first step in doing that, saying, “Hey, I’m not just going to live simply off of the things that I am getting.” If there are opportunities, specific to CTRL Alt Delete, career opportunities, or growth and development opportunities that you’re interested in, you have to take control, and then the rest of the things, they kind of fall into place as you build out your action plan, but that’s an example for you.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s beautiful. Thank you. Well, can you share with us a few key actions that control alt deleters do or don’t do that many of us just kind of neglect?

Tricia Sitemere
Yeah, I would say toxic positivity and not being completely honest with yourself about different situations. Obviously, we’re talking about the career space, but I think one of the things that my clients are really good at is building that transparency and having those honest conversations with yourself, whether that is in terms of, “I thought I was really strong in X, Y, Z space. And after taking some time kind of digging into it, getting feedback, having conversations, maybe I’m not so great at this.”

That’s kind of where the confidence and that transparency internally kind of cross because sometimes you feel like you’re really good at something, and sometimes you’re not as great as maybe you think you are, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. That gives you the opportunity to stop and say, “Hey, okay, this is how I want to improve,” or, “These are some resources or tools or connections that I have access to that will help me get to the point where I want to be, thus letting me do X, Y, Z.” You know what I’m saying?

So, definitely, having those transparent conversations, I will say, is something that I coach to. And for a lot of people, it can be a blind spot that can hinder your career growth.

Pete Mockaitis
So, the blind spot is that they just quickly put a positive spin or sheen on things as oppose to taking a hard look, and saying, “Oh, I’m not so good at Excel,” or copywriting, or facilitating meetings, or whatever that thing may be, and, thus, they don’t ever really get the opportunity to open that door and then begin improving because they’re unaware of the shortcomings.

Tricia Sitemere
Right, to grow.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay.

Tricia Sitemere
To grow, yeah. Another thing that I would say is you hear a lot about having a growth mindset, having an open mindset, and being able to look at all of your opportunities that are being presented to you, and it sounds nice. You’re talking about growth with your manager, your friends, family, whatever, you’re like, “You know, I’m really in a space where I’m allowing myself to grow.”

Well, there are certain things that you have to do in order to foster growth and to actually see the traction and the changes that you want, which include commitment and consistency. And so, it’s nice to say, “Hey, I’m doing all of these things,” but actually doing them and not just saying, “Hey, I have a growth mindset. I’m open to these opportunities,” without the action piece, because that’s really what is important and what is going to drive the change.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Very cool. So, then, I’m curious, when it comes to the deleting all doubt, are there specific practices, tools, disciplines that you engage in to do the actual deleting?

Tricia Sitemere
Yes. So, I talked a little bit about having honest conversations, being open to awareness around your blind spots, maybe where you’re not as strong. On the other side of that, there are things that you absolutely excel at, that when someone says, “Oh, my goodness, I need…” you mentioned Excel so I’ll just keep on going with that example, “I need an Excel guru.” If that’s you, that’s something that you can build on so that you can start deleting some of that doubt.

And so, I think looking at both ends is definitely something that will help you delete all doubt. Getting feedback is an activity that I have a lot of my clients do when they’re struggling in that space, and they’re really struggling to decide, “Okay, what are strengths that I want to continue to grow? And what are my transferrable skills?” I work with them to do a little bit of a self-assessment. And part of that assessment, it’s asking for feedback. So, I’ll have them talk to a manager, a colleague, so, it, one, helps them get an outside view of, “Okay, this is maybe a strength I want to work on,” or, “This is maybe an area of opportunity.”

But if they are really good in those things, hearing it from someone else, and having that little bit of external validation is it can be key because it’s like, “Okay, I thought I was good at this in my head, but now I’m hearing from other people who have the opportunity to experience how I deliver X, Y, Z, and they are also very confident in my ability.” So, that’s going to help over time, those check-ins with yourself and getting feedback from others to help you grow that confidence and delete all doubt.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And I’m curious, when it comes to your clients, I imagine, often, by the time they find you, they might be pretty ready to make a change.

Tricia Sitemere
Oh, yeah. They’re like, “Tricia, we need this to happen last week,” and I’m like, “I get it. I understand 100%.” And the other part of that is sometimes career transitions, they take time. There are so many factors that are outside of your control, that we talk about this when we’re getting started, that we’ll take a little bit of patience.

And that’s not a favorite part of coaching, is having to coach to the patience piece but I see it time and time again, those that can be patient, who do the work and stay consistent, committed, there’s lots of opportunities and great things on the other side of that.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, so I’m curious, if we find ourselves in that position, where, “Okay, the job is fine. Maybe we should be thinking about making a switch,” can you walk us through kind of the step-by-step and then some of your favorite tactics or tools or tricks you use in each of them to really make a lot of progress fast?

Tricia Sitemere
Yes. The first thing I would say is not ignoring the signs. We know when there have been shifts in our mood and when we’re disgruntled or frustrated or stressed out about a situation, and people will make different excuses for why they may feel like they’re in that space. If you are starting to feel that, explore that, whether it is having a conversation with a friend or your spouse, or a conversation with a coworker as long as it’s nothing too crazy because they’re going to be able to understand some of those key players at work, some of those situations at work.

And then once you’ve kind of have gotten to a place where you’re like, “Okay, I think I know what this is. I think I know kind of where this is coming from,” almost like a root-cause analysis, I always empower people to ask for help. You don’t have to go through all of this by yourself, whether that is help from a manager, you’re like, “Hey, I’m kind of struggling with this space. What can we do in terms of support?”

Coaching. I’m not plugging coaching because I’m a coach, but I had worked with coaches, I have had coaches myself, but then I’ve also seen the impact that working with a coach can have. So, that would also be one of the things that I would recommend. And it’s almost like you have to kind of gather a bunch of information for yourself.

You go into this fact-finding after you’ve had these conversations, and now you’re asking yourself, “Okay, I know this isn’t what I want right now. What do I want?” and kind of dream it up real big, is what I tell my clients all the time. Dream it up real big and then move to, “Okay, I want to be an astronaut.” Obviously, for me, Pete, I’m not going to be an astronaut right now. What does it look like to get to that point?

And then in terms of getting that momentum going, and feeling good about the strides that you’re making, because we talked about patience being a key part of making the change, is giving yourself small digestible goals that will increase and kind of build into hitting some of those bigger goals that you have.

When you set a goal for yourself, sometimes you’re like, “Oh, my gosh, this goal is so far away. I’m never going to get there,” and that can cause some stress and it can cause some frustration. So, breaking it down into those smaller goals and celebrating the small wins, that’s going to really help you get the momentum, get the energy up, continue to keep the juices flowing, and it’ll also help you stay more consistent.

And then another thing that I would recommend in that space of doing that is share some of these things with people that champion and support you. And I’d talked about a supporting cast in my book, and it is really your supporting cast. Just like the lead in a movie, you have the supporting cast that helps make things happen. Sharing the things and the changes and the career aspirations that you have with your supporting cast, they are going to be able to lift you up when maybe you’re having a bad day.

Or, if you hit one of those smaller goals, or a bigger goal, it’s so great to be able to share and celebrate that with someone who is rooting for you. So, yeah, those would be a couple of my tips and kind of the walkthrough through the process. I love celebrating. I celebrate everything. I celebrate everything and, I tell you, it really does make a huge difference to be able to celebrate the person that you’re spending so much time working on yourself. What better project to work on and to focus on than yourself?

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. Well, let’s say we’ve gotten past the soul-searching phase and we’ve got some specific companies, roles, positions posted that we’re eyeing, and going, “Ooh, that’s enticing.” I’d love it if you could share some of your favorite job-hunting tips, whether it’s on the LinkedIn side, or the networking side, or the resume, or the cover letter, or the interview side, what are a couple things that just work like magic that you’re a huge fan of?

Tricia Sitemere
Yeah, I’m a huge fan of LinkedIn. When I was coming up through HR, I used LinkedIn a ton, both sending messages but being recruited from my engagement and participation on LinkedIn. So, I coach to LinkedIn. It’s not the only way but I particularly really like it just because it connects so many people from so many spaces that you might not even cross paths with in your everyday life.

And so, in terms of, like, if you see a role that you’re really excited about, you can search the title of the role, and you can see other folks that are in that particular space, and you can kind of do a little bit of sleuthing, see what kind of things they post about. Oftentimes, they will talk about things that are going on within the company or within the industry, where their company has been in the news.

All of that information is intel that you can, A, use if you reach out to a particular person or if you’re in an opportunity to network, it shows that you know what’s going on. And, two, all of that information can be really, really helpful in an interview. It shows that you’ve taken the time to investigate and research what’s going on within the industry, within the particular company, or if it’s even a specific team that the role that you’re interested in is on. All of that are data points that you can use in your career toolkit to help you make those connections and build those relationships to get into the role.

So, I would say those are some of the things that I’d recommend for LinkedIn. Connected to LinkedIn, people do not like sending blind invitations or messages on LinkedIn, and I get it because I do get my fair share of, “This is an interesting message in my inbox” kind of thing, but there are ways that you can grab the attention of the person that you’re reaching out, whether it is mentioning something you guys have in common, or you guys went to the same alma mater, or the same school, mentioning something that they’ve recently posted.

There are different ways that you can reach out so it’s not just this spammy message that you’re sending to probably someone who gets a lot of messages similar to that. So, here on LinkedIn, it says, “Hi, I’m a hiring manager.” Some people may reach out to you about X, Y, Z jobs, and sometimes they’re maybe not the greatest message, they don’t really share any information, so there’s no incentive, I guess, on the other end for that person to respond.

And so, doing some of this recon on the frontend is going to help you craft your messages, and type it up, take a deep breath, and send it. Sometimes people won’t respond, but sometimes they will, and those can lead to some really, really great conversations. And then the other thing that I would say, or the last thing that I would say in terms of researching job and reaching out to folks and looking for work on LinkedIn, is following up.

Following up and showing up are huge. They’re so huge. If someone that you’ve reached out to reaches back to you, don’t wait a week and a half to respond. I get things happen but it’s all about keeping that momentum going, so respond to them. If you guys have something scheduled, show up. And that sounds a little elementary but I had spent almost 10 years with hiring managers, and I am always blown away by how many people just don’t show up to interviews and don’t communicate.

And so, I always feel like that’s something worth mentioning. And so, just taking that, building those relationships, having those conversations, sometimes there’s opportunities that are available more immediately, just like with any relationship, networking including, it takes a little bit of work. And so, don’t just completely disregard a relationship because it didn’t result in a job right away.

They might have something coming down the pipeline one month, two months, six months. We don’t know what that will look like. So, continuing to cultivate those relationships is also something that’s going to be super key.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Beautiful. Well, tell me Tricia, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we shift gears and hear about some of your favorite things?

Tricia Sitemere
Feel empowered to create the life you love. I think some would say that sounds corny or that sounds cheesy but I think it’s so important. We have this one life to live. And you should be able to live it on your own terms with things and people and experiences that you want to have a part of your life. So, that’s what I would say.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Beautiful. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Tricia Sitemere
“Everything you can imagine is real,” by Pablo Picasso. And I think that ties in perfectly to what I just said about creating the life that you love. Everything you can imagine is real. And sometimes it does take that shift in mindset to start to bring some of those things to fruition or realize, “Hey, this isn’t exactly what it looked like in my mind but it’s exactly what I’m looking for.” Yeah, that’s my favorite.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Tricia Sitemere
It’s actually a case study, and it’s from one of my favorite books, Mindset actually by Carol Dweck. And it is exploring the impact of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset and a false growth mindset. And it’s a study and she’s working with children that are in elementary school. And so, it’s like she has one group who are told, like, “Hey, you can do anything. You’re great at all these different things,” and she studies how they perform versus another group of students who are kind of being coached or fed that, “This is not in your skillset,” and she monitors how each of the groups react.

And she uses this study to kind of talk through the importance of fostering a growth mindset and paying attention to the different things that we tell ourselves, and being transparent and honest with ourselves and some of the other things that I had mentioned. And I obviously work with mid-career professionals, but some of this stuff around mindset and feeling equipped starts so much earlier than when I work with them. And so, that wasn’t a study that I was thinking I would come across, and it’s really interesting. It’s in her book, Mindset.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Cool. And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Tricia Sitemere
Ooh, I’m a checklist girl, Pete. Do you like checklists?

Pete Mockaitis
I do, yes.

Tricia Sitemere
I’m a checklist girl. I’m a calendar girl. I keep a to-do list. I keep list of several different sorts actually, but in terms of being awesome at my job, at the end of every single day, I will review my list of deliverables, or tasks, or clients I need to follow up with, and just kind of put a cap on my day so that when I get started in the morning, I can hit the ground running.

Or, I can take a look at my list, and say, “Okay, this doesn’t exactly fall into place with what I thought my day would look like because there’s fires, there’s things that pop up,” but I use that as my guide. And then I’m also really big about calendaring and blocking time off to do different things, and that is so helpful. It helps me feel very organized and it’s like, “Okay, if things get crazy, at least I know I have dedicated time to focus and do my very best work on this thing because I’ve blocked out time for it.” So, those are my two biggest tips that I use, my two biggest tools.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks; people quote it back to you often?

Tricia Sitemere
CTRL Alt Delete.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, there you go, yeah.

Tricia Sitemere
Which, obviously, is a delight to me. I’ll run into folks, and they’re like, “What are you doing to take control of your future or alter your mindset?” And I’m like, “Let’s talk about it.” And they’re like, “Oh, my goodness, now I’m in a conversation with Tricia. This is going to turn into a coaching session.”

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Tricia Sitemere
Yes, you can find me on my website TriciaSitemere.com. I’m also on YouTube under the same name, also on LinkedIn, and Instagram. I post a variety of different free resources, information, and tips on all of those. And I look forward to engaging.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. This has been a treat, Tricia. Keep on rocking.

Tricia Sitemere
Thank you. Thank you so much, Pete, for having me. I appreciate you.

Pete Mockaitis
Scott, welcome back to How to be Awesome at Your Job.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Thank you very, very much. I am quite excited to be back.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to have you as well. And so now, Scott, we’ve had a lot of conversations that were not recorded, maybe for the best.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Accurate.

Pete Mockaitis
And one thing that I know about you is you are hardcore and inspiring when it comes to your goalsetting and you even have a nifty family goalsetting approach that involves your kids and a fun environment. Tell us the story here.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Well, here’s the story. My wife and I, we’ve set goals for probably approaching 15, maybe even approaching 20 years. I’m not even sure exactly when it started. I’d have to go back and do the calendar math. But all that to say we’ve been doing that for ourselves over and over again. And, actually, it originally started when we were trying to pay off about almost $400,000 worth of debt.

And so, we had this initial goal and so we started building skills around how to set and accomplish goals in order to get that nearly $400,000 paid down. And we eventually did that but then we realized, “Hey, this is actually working for us.” So, many years later after we had children and after Alyssa and I had started trying to focus on, “How do we be great parents? What do we want to instill in our children? What do we want to teach them?”

And after we started having those kinds of conversations, we realized, “Hey, we’re doing this thing over here, and, arguably, we’ve developed some skill at it, but we’ve taught our children almost nothing about that. Why is that?” And that’s where that question started. So, we eventually said, “Well, what would this look like? What would this look like if we wanted to take what we’ve learned about goalsetting and accomplishing some seemingly impossible things? And then how do we get our kids to want to do that?”

Because my kids now are teenagers, all of them are teenagers, and at the point in time we started doing any kind of goalsetting with the kids, they were, I think, nine and 11 and approaching teenage years, so they were at the ages where they don’t know necessarily want to do everything that we think is a great idea.

So, we said, “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to do it in a crazy environment that we wouldn’t normally do, something that seems so serious, and then we’re just going to try and make it as fun as possible.”

So, we said, “What would that look like?” Well, we had just ordered a new hot tub, so we said, “Okay, we’re going to take the duck, the rubber duck that we got as a gift from the hot tub company, and we are going to do hot tub goalsetting where we pass the duck around and we talk about each person who has the duck what they want to accomplish this year, and what would be fun, what would be amazing, what would be uncomfortable, and talk through those types of questions.” And that’s how it began, and now it’s turned into this regular thing where we meet each month in order to review how we’re doing against our individual goals.

And I think something that’s really wonderful and personally inspiring to me watching my kids go through and really take this and have fun with it and run with it is that they’ve done some things where they set it initially. Like, okay, here, my son, Grayson, my youngest said, “I want to break a world record.” And Alyssa and I did the thing that sometimes you do as a parent where you want to be supportive, we’re like, “Okay, Grayson, all right, that sounds amazing. All right. Fantastic.”

Where I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe we should start it with something else.” So, both Alyssa and I were able to successfully, in that case, suspend our beliefs about that, and say, “Okay. Well, how can you do that, Grayson?” He eventually, over about a two-month period, ended up researching what type of record he might want to break, decided on video games. He decided, “I want to be the first in the world to speed run this particular game.”

Pete Mockaitis
Which one?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Kirby. One of the Kirby games. It’s the most recent one, and, I, for some reason, it’s totally escaping me what’s it called.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, so speed run a Kirby game. All right.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yup. So, he did that, and two months in, after he set the goal, he literally was the first person in the world to get this time on that particular Kirby game. So, he has the screenshot to prove it. It’s like it literally said, “You’ve accomplished a world record.”

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s nice to hear.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yeah, but here’s the thing about that. We started realizing that, “Wow, this is incredibly powerful, not just for us but even more so for our children,” because both Alyssa and I, we really didn’t honestly get into things like goalsetting or really figuring out what it is that we wanted to do, wanted to accomplish, what type of life or career do we want to live, and it’s quite powerful once you decide that you want to do something, figuring out the very best way that that can actually happen in reality.

So, Grayson literally broke a world record.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s so cool. That’s so cool. And you have seen transformation with many people in your work, your organization, and podcast Happen to Your Career, and now book Happen to Your Career.

Scott Anthony Barlow
And now book, yes.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, transforming folks. And you’ve seen a lot of folks set a career-related goal and go get it. Can you maybe orient us, generally speaking, what is it you do and know that’s fresh and unique?

Scott Anthony Barlow
I think that with the book, it was very much we wanted to be able to reach people a different way because, really, what we do as an organization is we are very focused on helping people find what their own personal version of extraordinary is, what does a wonderful fit look like for them as it relates to their career, and, ultimately, their life because, first and foremost, we can’t really separate out many of the decisions that we make for our career. They have a tendency to be inseparable from the rest of our life.

So, if we keep that in mind, then that means that anything that we are defining as extraordinary for our career is absolutely going to impact all of the other areas of our life. So, we get the opportunity every single day to be able to help people all over the world with defining what they want their life and career to look like, and then going and making that happen, going and getting it, this seemingly impossible thing, making that and turning that into their reality. And that’s what we do every single day both with the book as well as when we get to serve people as clients.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s really cool. And so, I would love to get your take, when it comes to people and their careers, just what is at stake for professionals if their career is a great fit versus okay-ish fit?

Scott Anthony Barlow
We all only have so much time on the planet regardless of how you feel spiritually or what you believe. We only have so much time here, and I want to, personally, make sure that, for me, my time is spent in a way that I am able to contribute to other people in the way that I want and serve other people the way that I want, but also building the type of life and career that I want to live.

And I find that not everybody is looking at it that way necessarily. But the point that I would make is that if we’re all, or at least most of us, are going to spend arguably most of our waking hours doing some type of work, some type of service, if you will, then that means that we should probably find a way to do it in a way that is much more meaningful to both us plus the people that we get to work with, around, serve, and that’s how I look at it. I look at it as an opportunity to be able to do life completely differently.

Now, here’s the sad reality. So, although I can say that, and although I believe that, and I think a lot of people might agree with that, depending on which study, depending on which research you look at, it is someplace between half a percent and about 13% of people in the entire world that are just enamored with their work. And that’s dismal.

When I look at that and say, “Almost nobody in the entire world is really enjoying their work and finding it fulfilling in the ways that are wonderful for them, then that’s sad, and that needs to change, and that’s not okay.” And I know that you’re referencing a particular part in the book when you say, “What’s at stake?” We begin the first chapter and we tell a story of Michael. And in Michael’s case, he was working for a pretty large studio, one that most people have definitely heard of, a movie studio.

And that particular studio, he had actually had really a pretty wonderful career up until the last three years that he was there. And he found himself in a new promotion, new situation, that what was once a dream job for him was no longer that dream. It turned into a pretty terrible situation, one that was no longer a fit. And it became really bad, bad to the point in which Michael had considered self-harm, which is not a thing to joke around, but we’ve had many stories like that.

And in Michael’s case, he realized that this was bad for his mental health, it was bad for his physical health, it was ultimately just really a terrible fit for him. And by continuing to stay in that type of situation, he was possibly going to give up the opportunity to have any other type of life, let alone a life at all.

And so, this is a little bit of an extreme situation but it happens much more frequently. What I’ve learned in working with people all over the world is this is something that happens pretty frequently, where people’s health is severely impacted by what most people would look at, and say, “That’s an amazing job. That’s an amazing opportunity,” from the outside looking in.

And in Michael’s case, here’s the real thing that was at stake. If we fast forward about roughly a year to where Michael ended up making a career change, we got the opportunity to meet him and work with him. Alyssa, my wife and I, we had ended up actually meeting him in California and we met at this little diner down in Pacific Beach, and he was telling us, as we were eating banana pancakes, that it was the first time in his life where he had considered that work could potentially be fun. Like, that had never, ever even entered his mind. Like, literally, it was not a possibility for him.

So, he went from this situation where it started out as seemingly wonderful to him, he moved up the ladder really, really quickly, and arguably was good in a lot of very challenging ways. But then it became not so good, and, ultimately, he didn’t realize that was a fun possibility like that but it was something that if he stayed in that situation, it could be not a possibility. I guess that’s the word I’m looking for. I’m looking for a way to even describe that, like what he was feeling and the emotions that he was going through at that particular time. But imagine that if he had stayed. He literally never would’ve found that. So, I think that’s an example of what’s at stake.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s powerful and an eye-opener that folks who may be listening, it’s like, “Fun, huh? It’s going to work for a reason. It’s a job. It’s not play.” And so, that could be a lightbulb for many, like, “Oh, yeah,” some folks really do have fun at work. They find it meaningful, engaging, and life-giving, energizing, so some groovy stuff. And, of course, I think it’s also fair to say, with realism, that no job is 100% euphoric 100% of the time. Is that a fair statement? 

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yes, I do believe that that is a fair statement. And I’m curious with your opinion on that, because there’s been many times where you and I have had pivots and how we personally think about work.

And I remember talking to you, and even our group at one point in time, where it’s like, “Hey, I have checked the box in many of the things that I wanted to work in for a while. My role has changed and this was wonderful, and it’s no longer wonderful anymore.” So, I think I point that out because even if there is a situation that is great, and even if it is a great fit, part of the challenge, part of the reason why figuring this career thing out, figuring out what extraordinary looks like, is so challenging is because it’s actually a moving target as we go through different seasons.

Like, you have three kiddos now, right?

Pete Mockaitis
Right.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Do you want the same things that you did when it was 10 years ago with no kids?

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, I’m not quite as interested in as much travel and hustle, and it’s like, “Oh, sweet, I’ve got 11 coaching sessions today.” It’s like, “I would not find that sweet were that to happen to me tomorrow.”

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yeah, and I think that’s true for everyone, and I think that that’s normal. The really interesting thing, the thing I find fascinating is that we have a tendency to beat up on ourselves in so many different ways. When that changes, we don’t realize our wants and needs have changed and we’re still trying to shove the, I don’t know, square peg in the round hole, insert your cliché here.

We’re still trying to do the thing, we’re still trying to keep going, we’re still trying to beat our head against the wall, and I don’t really hear too many people talk about, like, it’s actually okay to change and it’s part of the game. But, simultaneously, that’s part of what makes it challenging to figure out what a great situation, what an amazing situation, what we call the unicorn opportunity situation looks like for you.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, let’s talk about figuring it out. Clarity, we all want it. How do we get it?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Has anybody ever asked you for, or has said to you, “Hey, I’m looking for clarity in this particular area or that area?”

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, sure. Absolutely.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Okay. All right. So, we get that all the time, and the really interesting thing I found about clarity is that when we’re asking for it, we’re often looking at it as a destination. We’re often looking at it as a, “If I just figure out what it is that I want, then I can go and do the thing.” However, when we look into even the origins of the word clarity, we find that it has many of the same root words as declare, the same root word which is clarare, right?

And what that means, when you start to break down the history and the evolution of that word, is that it means to act or an action is required, the action of declaring, the action of declaring something as a priority is really what leads to any kind of clarity. So, so many of us think that we need to go and figure out the thing. We need to get all our ducks in a row. We need to go away and sit in a cabin for a month, and then we will emerge, and we will have clarity, and it’ll be amazing. There’ll be rainbows and butterflies. I’ve got a unicorn back here. It’s going to be awesome. And that’s not actually how it works, as it turns out.

Instead, what we find is actually true is that clarity comes from the simple act of declaring something as a priority for you, declaring something as more important, which obviously takes courage. It takes courage to be able to say, “My wife is more important than all of these other things.” I think many of us would say that but very few of us, I find, are willing to act on that in a way that takes courage. So, I’ll give you a quick example from my past.

Like, if my wife calls me right now, I’m literally going to pick up the phone. There she is right there on the phone. Not everybody can see that but if she calls right now, I’m going to pick that up because she is the most important thing in my world. Is that weird, as in socially kind of unacceptable? I would say so. Probably.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, I’m going to light you up. Well, I wouldn’t because we’re pals.

Scott Anthony Barlow
It’s a good thing we know each other, right?

Pete Mockaitis
But, yeah, other people would say, “What the heck, dude? Seriously?”

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yeah, and that feels, honestly, when that happens, very uncomfortable for me. Also, if I’m going to behave like my wife is the most important thing in the world to me, then I should treat it as such. So, that’s a really small example but think about what goes into that. I have to think through, first of all, “What is most important to me?” And then I have to consciously make the decision that that is, in fact, the most important thing. In this case, the most important person, my wife. And then I have to be able to commit to that in a way that allows me to act as such.

And that’s part of what we’re talking about when we say, “What does it take to get to clarity?” Clarity allows you to be able to act, not action before clarity. Most of us think that we’re going to get clarity, and then we’re going to go do the thing. But, instead, it happens exactly the opposite way, “I’m going to declare what’s most important, and then that allows me to be able to make movement on whatever that most important thing is.” So, it is literally the opposite of how almost everybody in the world thinks about it.

Pete Mockaitis
And when it comes to doing that declaring and then living as such in harmony, in integrity with those declarations, might you discover through a little bit of trial and error that what you declared was actually not the most important thing to you, it’s like, “Huh, actually now that I’m in it, I’m realizing,” not this to be the case with your wife, “I’m realizing that this is not as important to me as perhaps I thought it should be, or is, or once was. Things have evolved”?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yeah. Short answer is yes. I have many examples of that. But I’m curious, have you had that experience in the past? Have you gone through and realized that, “Hey, this thing that I thought that was most important one way or another, one area of life or another, is actually less important than what I think”? What are some of your examples? What are the Pete examples?

Pete Mockaitis
Sure. I think that that has come about…well, it’s so funny, like being awesome at your job. So, we have a whole show on this. So, I think that’s pretty important but I don’t believe that’s the number one most important thing in life. And so, it’s funny, when I think about other podcasts, I think that I would say they’re sort of like a pecking order or a hierarchy that I would rather folks listen to my show than true crime or sports or news, like for their own edification, I think. We’re going to do more of that for you than those things.

But if someone is listening to a show about how to be more kind, or spiritual, or healthy, or solving like a really challenging thing that makes their life and others miserable, I would rather you spend your time listening to that because I think that is more important than being awesome at your job. And, in fact, many of our guests do have a little bit of a mental health slant because there’s a real rich carryover in terms of if you’re mentally healthy, then you’re making better decisions, and you’re energized, and you’re able to bring good effort to stuff, so it’s like Yin-Yang, like reinforcing virtuous cycle thingy going down here.

So, I don’t think it’s either/or but I would say that, for example, I used to think, I don’t know if you remember a show “Boy Meets World.”

Scott Anthony Barlow
I do. I do. 

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, I’m about to drop a spoiler here.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Oh, dear.

Pete Mockaitis
But when Topanga gives up, I think, it was Harvard, her top dream school, to go be with Cory, I thought that was so dumb, I thought that was a horrible decision, I was like, “You’re young. What do you even know about love?” And I guess I think I’m high school-college age too when this comes about, and I just thought that was bananas because, at that time in my life, career really was sort of number one. And I hadn’t been in a relationship that serious, I suppose, as to make me think that I would give up such a career opportunity for a person. So, that was me then.

And now I think, “Well, yeah, if that’s like your soulmate, or the person you’re destined to be with, or someone who’s just really clearly the one, well, absolutely, you should probably give up just about everything.” So, that happened. I remember once I was at a Subway sandwich shop, and Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent” was playing, and I started tearing up, it’s like, “What is even going on here?”

Scott Anthony Barlow
“What is happening right now?”

Pete Mockaitis
I think I was…like, if you listen to the lyrics, you hear sort of the story arc, and it’s about like that kind of a transformation. There is someone who is all about their career, independent, taking care of business, winning. And then she came to realize, “Oh, there’s something else that’s even more important.” So, yeah, I think that what you say about things being a moving target is dead-on in terms of there’s a time and a place.

And Ramit Sethi talks about this too in terms of like there’s a season where it’s like, “Growth, baby. Bring it on. More, more, more, more, more. I want the biggest stuff, the toughest challenge, and I’m just going to pour myself into work or whatever.” And then there’s a time where that season is no longer suiting you, and it might come back a little later. That’s the game.

Scott Anthony Barlow
First of all, can I just say that I love that you started that whole section of the conversation with “Boy Meets World.”

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, you may.

Scott Anthony Barlow
And, second of all, I think that there is this stigma, at least in much of North America and some areas of Europe, too, but there’s this stigma that it’s not okay to change, or that one way is the right way, or the direction that we keep going.

Pete Mockaitis
“And you’re a flip-flopper. We don’t like our politicians flip-flopping. We don’t like quitters or flip-floppers.”

Scott Anthony Barlow
No, no quitters, yes. And so, interestingly enough, the main reason that I have this company now is because I quit and went from one thing to the next thing, to the next thing, to the point where, we counted it up the other day, I’ve had, in the last 20 or so years, I’ve had 20 different roles, and all of that set of experience of being able to go through many, many different things came from quitting. And, actually, for me, personally, I felt a long time, like that was an inadequacy in so many different ways because it felt like as soon as things got really hard, or whatever, then I would get bored and then I’d run off to the next thing.

And although there was some level of truth to that, that wasn’t necessarily the full reason but that’s the story that I was saying in my head for myself. And it was furthered by the fact that that is the message that we unintentionally put out in society. 

Pete Mockaitis
So, when it comes to clarity, you said one way we get there is we declare the priorities, and then act in alignment with them. What are some your other favorite questions, practices, exploratory activities that can yield oodles of insight for the time we spend doing them?

Scott Anthony Barlow
So, first of all, let me give you a high-level overview of the process we often use with our clients, and the reason that we do this is, I mentioned earlier that it’s really difficult to be able to separate out your career from other things. When you plug yourself in, if you think about plugging yourself into a particular career choice, whether that’s the people that you work with, whether that’s the organization that you’ve said yes to for a job opportunity, whether that is whatever you’re getting paid, all of those things impact other areas of your life from your schedule to the pressures that you feel or don’t feel, to everything else.

So, it becomes really important that we’re looking at all of these things as a whole. So, I wanted to be able to say that first, and that’ll give you some insight as to why we often are approaching activities that appear to be more holistic or addressing other areas of your life even though we often focus on career. So, one of those things is, initially, we try to help people create what we call an ideal career profile. And really just think about that as literally what it sounds like. It’s a profile of what makes up your ideal career.

Now, when I say that, often people are thinking about occupation, and I’m not talking about occupation. I’m talking about the things like, “How you are utilizing your strengths within your work opportunities? What amount of money do you need to make in order to satisfy your other goals that maybe aren’t even financially related? Who are the types of people that you want to spend your time around knowing that the choice that you make and plug into is going to impact who you spend your time with?”

So, starting out, we put together that ideal career profile, and I’ll give you a few questions here momentarily, but then what we’re going to do with it is we’re going to take that profile, which is an educated guess, and then we’re going to test it out. The reason we test it out is, generally, we find that when people come to us and they’re wanting to make some kind of career change, and they’re wanting to move to a better situation, a more ideal situation, then they also are simultaneously not wanting to take significant risks, because a lot of times they are not fresh out of college, if you will, necessarily. A lot of times, they may have already determined that, “The career that I’ve pursued is no longer a fit in one way or another,” so there’s an aversion to risk.

And one of the ways that we can avoid risks while still getting wonderful input is by creating a small series of experiments in order to determine, “Is that hypothesis, that ideal career profile, actually the right direction? Am I giving some road signs indicating that I am, in fact, headed in the right direction for me?” versus just making another career change, or going back to school, or putting all the time and effort in only to realize that the names and the faces have changed, but it’s the exact same situation. So, that’s no good for anybody.

So, here is a couple things that we use specifically. Number one, if we’re evaluating strengths, let’s say, let’s take that as scenario, one question that is my favorite, and maybe you can answer this, too, or we can answer it together, “What do you find yourself gravitating to that isn’t actually a part of your job but shows up over and over again? Now, is that I’m supposed to be doing these spreadsheets and these financial projections but I find myself wandering the halls and going and asking my neighbor what they were barbecuing the other day because I’m fascinated about what do people eat?”

Whatever it is, what do you find yourself doing over and over again? That’ll give clues or indications, especially if it’s not a part of your paid role. And what I find is that, as you dig into that type of question, often you start to observe some patterns. So, let me ask you that really quick. When you think about your past opportunities, roles, paid, unpaid, whatever else, what do you keep gravitating towards, Pete, that really didn’t have much to do with what you’re supposed to be doing at the time?

Pete Mockaitis
Well, what’s funny is I’m think about consulting back in the day, I really loved recruiting, which was part of…all of us was supposed to have a part of recruiting, but I really loved being able to go to a career fair to being able to do case interviews or help people prepare for their case interviews.

Scott Anthony Barlow
I see where this is going.

Pete Mockaitis
Or more people-y stuff, like, where there’s an intern, I got to play manager just a little bit with a fresh intern. I thought that was really cool in terms of helping them learn stuff. And so, I was having fun with that for sure. And I think I also learned this isn’t just about skills or strengths, but just the environment. I remember, once I was so excited to be able to take a trip by myself to Kansas City where some very hallowed terminals where I could access some data that was, I guess, air-gapped from the cloud to go there and get the data.

And I was really stoked by this trip, I thought, “That’s kind of weird. I’m traveling somewhere alone to do a fairly manual repetitive task, and I’m stoked about it.” And what I was stoked about was the autonomy in terms of, “You know what, I can eat what I want when I want when I don’t have to check in with the whole team.” Like, “Hey, so you’re going to do lunch. Oh, okay, we’re going to wait. Okay, we’re going to wait for the senior people because they want to eat with us but they’re not ready to eat yet, so we’re just going to wait some more, but I really want to eat now but I can’t eat now. So, we don’t know how long this is going to take but it might be four minutes, it might be 40 minutes. I’m hungry now.”

It’s so funny. I don’t know, but being able to choose when and what I eat during my work day felt very exciting.

Scott Anthony Barlow
So, that’s kind of fascinating because now you have, in some ways, the ultimate set of choices.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. So, I like the autonomy and I like the people development. And go figure, here I am in a very autonomous role doing a lot of people development.

Scott Anthony Barlow
I am so shocked. So shocked. And by that, I mean not shocked at all. But I think that that is just one of many questions. And what I find is that none of these questions yield the ultimate answer. None of the questions yield the “magic bullet” or the “magic pill” or whatever. But they do all give clues, and those clues lead to a-has, those clues lead to being able to understand yourself and what you need in a different way.

And what I find is that a better way to think about uncovering the right type of career, or career fit for you, which may not be occupational, it might be about the environment, it might be about some of those other areas I mentioned earlier, is to think about it more as a CSI or detective-type of approach where you find one clue that helps you get a little further along but it leads to another clue, which leads to another clue, which leads to another clue. And, eventually, we solve some version of the case, which then leads to a new case.

And that is a much, much better analogy for how to think about your career in a healthy way where it’s going to continue to evolve, it’s going to continue to change, and just because you climbed up the mountain in one way or another doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over. It’s an ongoing, living, breathing set of decisions. And for some people, that can feel a little bit scary but I think that it can also be really, really empowering because, take your example here, like you probably, if we talked 20 years ago, would you have known all of those, “Well, I need people development or I need autonomy, and everything else”? I’m guessing probably…

Pete Mockaitis
No.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Not.

Pete Mockaitis
No, I might have some clues in terms of I really had a lot fun when I’m speaking to groups. And so, that’s true, I do, but the topic makes all the difference.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Oh, really?

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah. If I were talking about how to use a software program, that might be moderately energizing for me. But if I were talking about “Do this and you’re going to be way more productive and happy with your work,” that’s way more exciting for me to be talking about.

Scott Anthony Barlow
I agree. Me, too. I can only get so far. So, a topic for me makes a massive difference as well, but for some other people, it might just be about the act. For some other people, it might be about who they’re talking to. And for still other people, it might be about “Am I getting to speak with people one on one versus large groups, versus communities of people, versus any other way that you might slice that up?”

Pete Mockaitis
Certainly. I’m thinking about the nature of the impact, like, “Are you talking to…?” “I’m just helping rich people get richer,” and that really bothers you versus you don’t care at all. That doesn’t bother you at all, it doesn’t even occur to you, versus, “Oh, I’m really helping disadvantaged communities,” or whatever. So, the who could be, or it’s sort of like the elite students were really engaged and fired up with it and challenging, like that’s exciting.

Or, they are very much not elite students who, like, really need your help and you feel a great sense of purpose for having assisted them and really met them and made a difference that you feel more palpable. So, yeah, that who, I think, has all kinds of angles and flavors that provide cool clues right there.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Well, the important part is finding the right flavor for you because, in the book, we talk about what we call the seven keys to fulfillment, and there are areas that create more or less fulfilling careers, or feelings of fulfillment. However, if you’re talking about the who or how you work with people – is it in a one-on-one format versus large groups format – it’s a very different from a person-to-person basis. And finding that right variety, that right recipe is also very, very different from person to person.

So, I think that to go back to, say, how you contribute to others, as an example, the important part there is not just who you’re helping but, if we look at all of the data and the research, the real question is, “Are you helping people in a way that feels like you are helping people?” I know that sounds a little bit weird because, arguably, any job in the world is probably helping, like we can make a case that it’s helping people.

Whether you are at a movie theater, you are a VP of finance, you are taking out the trash, like in some way or another, it’s helping people, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it feels like, and you can see a direct connection between how you’re helping other people, and that’s the real key. So, finding out how it feels, the right type of how for you is really what we’re after here.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. Well, Scott, boy, we could talk for hours about this, but I want to hear, tell me, any top do’s or don’ts that we absolutely must hear from you before we shift gears and hear about your favorite things?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Absolutely. Absolutely. I think the number one do is run towards something. So many people are running away from something, running away from a not-great boss, running away from a situation that doesn’t feel like a great fit, but they haven’t actually taken the time to figure out what it is that they actually want. So, to be able to run to something, you really have to take the time, effort, energy to identify all of the areas and all of the pieces and parts that make up your ideal, otherwise, that’s going to be impossible. You won’t be able to run to something.

And the disadvantage, if you’re running away from something and not towards something that’s clearly defined, is you’re automatically going to be settling by default. So, run to something, that’s number one. And then, number two, experiment. We briefly mentioned that experimenting, or the idea of experimentation, however, I think that’s so critical as it relates to your career because it takes all of the risks, or at least most of the risks and perceived risks out of the equation.

So, so many people don’t career-change because they’re like, “Well, it feels so risky,” and in some ways it is. However, if you take small steps and a small amount of work to validate that you’re heading the right direction through a well-crafted experiment, that doesn’t even have to take a significant period of time, then once you get those road signs indicating that you are heading in the right direction, then it can reduce a significant amount of that risk. So, I think that’s thing number two.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. Now, well-crafted experiment, can you give us a couple quick examples of what that might look, sound, feel like?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yeah. We have helped people craft hundreds of different types of experiments but there are some that are more common than others, and I’ll give you a couple just really quick examples. One is the social Goldilocks, another is what we call the volunteer, another is the paid researcher.

So, the volunteer is what it sounds like, where you’re actually volunteering your time or energy either with another organization or even, potentially, inside your organization, and that’s where we might move into the paid researcher. Now, the benefits of doing either of those are getting to trial out the work without necessarily a full-time commitment, and understanding the feedback from that experience about whether or not you’re heading the right direction.

Now, the side benefit from that, and I think this is part of what makes a well-crafted experiment, in my opinion, is it’s not just for the feedback. But a well-crafted experiment also allows you to experience multiple benefits. Quick example, we had…personally we were working with…her name is Stephanie, and she volunteered at a marketing organization. She thought she might be interested in marketing, and volunteered with a local chapter of a marketing organization, met a lot of people and two things ended up coming from that.

One, she was able to land a copywriting gig, a small contract-based copywriting gig that didn’t take a lot of her time but allowed her to experiment in a paid way, and that’s what we call the paid researcher. A way you can do the paid researcher. And the other side benefit from that was she discovered she didn’t really like marketing by volunteering for that particular organization.

So, she eliminated an entire area that she suspected that she wanted to move into, and, instead, another area she was exploring at the same time was organizational communications. And some of the connections that she had made through that marketing organization ended up causing her to be introduced to other people that led to communications-type of experiences. So, there’s a quick couple examples.

Social Goldilocks, I mentioned that one at the beginning, that’s the idea of…well, you’re familiar with Goldilocks, of course, like, “This chair is too big. This porridge is too cold, too hot. This corner office is too large,” whatever. But the idea of the social Goldilocks, instead of doing what people call informational interviews, how can you identify either roles or organizations or other types of opportunities that might be a good fit?

And go talk to people in those roles, or in those organizations, for relatively short periods of time, even as little as 10 or 15 minutes, and learn about what makes them enjoy the role, what they think are relevant experiences to be successful in that role. Learn about what they love about their organization, what they don’t love about their organization.

And the idea here is not just the interaction itself, but that you can string together many different types of interactions with, say, 10 or 15 or 20 people in a relatively short period of time, and then you have a set of feedback where you can start making decisions from, “Should I dive further into this strategy-type role that I suspected that I love? And now I talked to three different people, and I’m getting similar feedback. And I think that it might be worth diving further in.”

So, these are all really quick examples of ways to do two things – get that feedback, and, simultaneously, build relationships at the same time, which, at this point, we don’t have very many computers hiring people. It does happen occasionally, but for the most part, it’s still people that hire people and make those hiring decisions, so relationships are critical when it comes to that. So, there’s a few different examples.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Thank you. Well, now, could you share with us a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Scott Anthony Barlow
This one gets attributed to Da Vinci a lot of the time, and I’m assuming it was not originally in English, but the English translation comes out to be something that, “I often observe that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and allowed things to happen. Instead, they went and happened to them.”

And although it gets attributed to Da Vinci, I believe it actually, as near as I can tell, comes from Da Vinci’s mentor, and Da Vinci ended up repeating it many, many times and that’s in some of his books.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Scott Anthony Barlow
There is a huge body of work around strengths, and what Martin Seligman originally called signature strengths now. And so, this is not one particular set of research but the body as a whole has really expanded over the last 30 years, and it is fascinating.

When you get to spend as little as one or two more hours a day working in your strengths and operating in your strengths, there are so many benefits from smiling more in a given day, all the way to be more productive, to having health benefits, or being able to avoid health risks.

So, that’s fascinating to me, personally, and it’s really interesting, some of the lengths that have nothing to do with what people perceive to be strengths, and, in some cases, nothing to do with what people perceive work but that impact overall quality of life when you spend very small amounts of time more, comparatively, to what you might be right now focusing on areas that fit your strengths. So, that’s my favorite body of research as a whole.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite book?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Here’s one book that changed my mind on quite a few different things. It’s called 80/20 Sales and Marketing.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah, Perry Marshall. He was on the show.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Yeah, Perry Marshall. Okay, so this was useful even if you care not about sales and marketing whatsoever. The idea behind 80/20 and something that tipped me off to a different idea that I don’t think that was said in that book but it sparked a lot of things for me, because the quick bit of 80/20, where it originally comes from, and now it’s pretty popularized, I would say, but the Pareto Principle is another thing that it’s called, where the idea of having 20% of the inputs produced 80% of the outputs.

So, Pareto saw that when he was raising peas way back when. He noticed that some of the peapods on certain pea plants had very few peas, and on 20% of the plants, they actually had roughly 80%. They produced 80% of the peas. And he started observing this all over the place in nature, this natural phenomenon.

However, what doesn’t get talked about that the book turned me onto is if you take that top 20%, it has its own top 20%, the 4% that produces 64% of the results. So, that idea is fascinating to me, and I’ve spent the last, almost seven, eight years really trying to figure out, “What is the 4% that really moves the needle so that you can just let the rest go in so many different areas of life?”

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Superhuman, which you turned me onto.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yeah. It’s all good.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Oh, my goodness, love Superhuman. We have it for almost my entire team now, yeah. Are you still using it?

Pete Mockaitis
I am.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Oh, my goodness. Thank you for that. Like, lifechanging in so many different ways. A whole different way to do email.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite habit?

Scott Anthony Barlow
I think my favorite habit recently is fasting till afternoon.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. I tried that and really didn’t like it.

Scott Anthony Barlow
Well, it’s not for everyone.

Pete Mockaitis
Glad it’s working for you.

Scott Anthony Barlow
And I really didn’t like it until maybe, I don’t know, probably after a month in. Then now it’s actually become a wonderful thing that adds energy, where the first probably two weeks, I’m like, “This is terrible. Who would do this?” So, not for everyone but that’s my current favorite habit.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks; they quote it back to you often?

Scott Anthony Barlow
The idea of identifying what you want so that you can then go and ask for what you want, and I find that people who ask for what they want are very often more frequently getting what they want.

So, that really simple concept has changed my life in so many different ways, which means that I need to have ownership and understanding around not just where I’m running to, which we mentioned earlier, but what it is that I, in fact, want and what’s great for me and my highest priority, which we mentioned clarity earlier, too, and it all ties back to that.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to connect or hear more about you, where should they go?

Scott Anthony Barlow
Well, certainly, HappenToYourCareer.com, and we have, of course, a podcast by the same name, Happen to Your Career, in all the places where podcasts are played, so certainly over there. But I think that for people that really want to get started in figuring out what could be a next amazing step, what extraordinary could look like, and utilizing much of the concepts that we just talked about, go to FigureItOut.co where you get an opportunity to sign up for an 8-day email course where we send you an email each day, and it asks you a few questions that will begin to allow you to figure out what truly is your north, what is your compass.

We’ve had almost 50,000 people at this point through that particular course. And we’ve got so many people sending emails and feedback over the years that it’s helped them get started in figuring out what they want.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Scott, this has been a treat. I wish you much luck and fun and success as you’re happening to your career.

Scott Anthony Barlow
I appreciate it.

Pete Mockaitis
Zeinab, welcome to How to be Awesome at Your Job.

Zeinab Kahera
Hello, Pete. How are you?

Pete Mockaitis
I’m doing well. I’m doing well.

Zeinab Kahera
Very good. Thank you for having me. I’m excited to speak to your audience and to speak to you and, hopefully, drop some gems this afternoon.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, we love gems.

Zeinab Kahera
Or this morning or whenever they’re listening, the evening.

Pete Mockaitis
We love gems. Well, first, I was curious to hear about you’ve lived in four different countries. Whoa! What are they and what have you learned from that?

Zeinab Kahera
Yes, I have. So, I started off in Saudi Arabia. My parents actually started off in Sudan. That was their first country but I was born in…or I moved to Saudi Arabia as an infant. And then, after that, came back to the States, did Egypt, lived in Egypt for a couple of years. I was older then so I remember that. I don’t remember Saudi too much. And then, obviously, the US, is one of the countries because I’m from the States. Now, I live in Canada.

So, what I will say in terms of what it taught me was I have such an appreciation for just the human experience and that I’ve seen so many levels. I’ve seen an excess of wealth, I’ve seen an excess of poverty, but the thing that kind of stayed the same was that people just really wanted to have a good life and do right things. So, I appreciate that perspective from living in those different countries.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, very cool. Yes. And I also want to get your perspective on, so you’ve been on both sides of the hiring table: hiring, being hired, negotiating, being negotiated. And in so doing, I want to hear any interesting or surprising things that you’ve picked up along the way that you just found really striking, like, “Huh, never would’ve guessed, but now that I know, that’s super powerful.”

Zeinab Kahera
Yes. So, what’s interesting is that I recently went through an interview process again, and this time was so different for me because, in the past when I had been looking for jobs, I was unemployed either through layoffs, the last time was COVID, this time I was working now.

I think if I could pinpoint, the biggest lesson that I share with people a lot is that there is a space for you to feel empowered in your job search. I think a lot of times people feel like we have to cater to or at the beckoning call of the hiring manager. And at the end of the day, or a colleague said to me that managers really just want to hire nice people who are knowledgeable and skilled. But that nice people part is really important.

And so, leaning into for myself and embracing, “Hey, I am a nice person. Let me show it more,” and not be caught up in my fear and my anxiety of the interview process really helped me to feel empowered in my job search. So, yeah, that’s, I think, a perspective that I recently garnered.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, I do buy that in terms of just like showing you’re a normal real human being as opposed to sometimes it feels like we enter into this, like, professional mode. Like, I remember being at career fairs when I was recruiting, and folks will say things like, “Hello, I’m looking to combine my interest in finance and accounting, and find a rewarding career in which I can dah, dah, dah synergy,” I don’t know. And it’s like, “Really, is that what you’re looking for?” I mean, it feels a little too, I don’t know, PR’d. It just doesn’t feel real and authentic.

And that might be true, like, “Yeah, I like accounting, I like finance, and I want to put them together and do some things,” and yet the presentation just felt a little bit like, “Oh, I’m not quite talking to a person so much as I am talking to talking points.”

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah. What came up when you were sharing was it lacks authenticity, and I think that’s a thing that sacrifices a lot in people’s job searches is that they don’t feel like they can be their genuine selves. They have to be an image of what they feel this professional should look like. I’ve hired in various roles, and the most recent one was for a web developer bootcamp, and I was part of the hiring process for our career coaches.

And I just remembered the biggest thing for me was, one, obviously, how they articulated their skills, that they have good examples of workplace experiences. Were they reflective in their experiences? But also, were they allowing themselves to just be themselves, and maybe make a quirky joke? I had a colleague who we interviewed, and he had technical issues with Zoom, and most people would just kind of like freak out, and he just laughed. He’s like, “Did you all do this to me on purpose?” and that was like such a seller for us because he allowed himself to just be in the moment. But then what sealed the deal was that he knew his stuff, he had the experience, he showed great examples.

Pete Mockaitis
That reminds of that viral video of the judge and the lawyer and the filter, it was like, “I’m right here, judge. I’m not a cat.” “I am not a cat.”

Zeinab Kahera
Yes, exactly.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, I also want to get a take on, okay, here we are, summer 2022, there are murmurs of recession upon us, how quickly the times changed. Can you tell us, okay, given that, anything we should be doing differently, thinking about differently, staying, looking around, negotiating?

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah. So, when I hear people say the word recession, obviously, there is like an anxiety or like a discomfort that come from that word, but I remember the recession of 2008. And I just remember I actually got a job during that time. And so, there are people who are still getting jobs. I think that we don’t stop believing that we can get jobs. We just make adjustments to our strategy.

So, regardless of the times that we’re in in terms of recession, we should always be having the job search that allows you to have human contact first. So, everything is online now, we’re all applying online, so there is an influx of applications that are coming in. And companies are like, “Well, we don’t want to pay somebody to look at 350 applications,” so they’re using these softwares, these applicant-tracking systems, and so people are getting filtered out.

And so, your goal is, “How do I bypass that wall, that technical wall, and I get an opportunity to talk to people?” And in a time of a recession, that’s even more important because of the fact that you are going to have more people who potentially will be laid off. So, how do you differentiate yourself from those other 200, 300 people who are applying for the same job? So, are you sending a cold email? We also call them intro emails. Are you utilizing your personal network, not being afraid to ask for help? Those are the things that help, especially in rough times in the market.

And, yes, it’s okay to look for another job if you have a job. If there are jobs posted in your industry that could be potential growth opportunities for you, go for it. Obviously, we’ve seen some companies that have decided to freeze their hiring. But I do think that there are still jobs being created every day that are not going to be eliminated.

But I think, on a personal note, just to end on this, you have to assess where you are in your personal life. If you feel like, “You know what, I just want to just kind of ride this wave, not make any moves until things kind of quiet down,” that’s perfectly okay as well. It’s not a very black and white decision-making process. There’s a lot of gray with it. So, some people are like, “You know what, I’m not in love with my job but things seem to be okay with my company. I’m not hearing any hints of layoffs. Let me just stick this out for a little bit and see what opportunities are created in the future.”

Pete Mockaitis
And when you talk about assessing kind of your personal situation, how do you think broadly about assessing what is your next best career move?

Zeinab Kahera
So, as a career coach, I’m really big on the self-awareness piece, and I’m really big on assessing what your needs and your values are. With my clients, that’s one of the first things that I challenge them to do, is to look at, “What is it that you currently need and you value?” And so, I think that when it comes to assessing your situation, you have to have that reflection piece. You can’t be making decisions based on external factors, what everybody else is doing, because now you’re allowing other people to dictate your life journey, in a nutshell.

So, to give an example, I had a client who was doing pretty well in their job, didn’t really need to go anywhere else. They worked in nonprofit so they were in an ED role but they kept seeing these opportunities come up. And so, for them, I asked them, “Okay, so where is the challenge for you?” And they’re like, “Well, I like what I do and nothing is broken. Why fix it?” And I said, “Okay, so then why are you contemplating leaving?” And they said, “I believe in the potential of the future, and if other people want to work with me, I feel like why don’t I see what’s possible.”

And I said, “Well, what’s most important to you?” And they said, “I really like growth. I like learning more. I like not feeling stagnant. I like the risk of trying something new.” And I said, “Well, that sounds like something that you value enough that it’s worth it to you.” And so, that’s kind of the conversations that we have in terms of internally assessing where your situation is.

Now, the other external factors are your financial situation, your security. What potential debt do you have or currently have? Are you trying to position yourself with a house or a family or all of those factors involved? But it always starts with self. It always starts with fulfilling what your needs and your values are.

Pete Mockaitis
So, in needs and values, you talked about learning growth, you’ve talked about financial. What are some of the other big items that pop up frequently that we’d want to assess?

Zeinab Kahera
Yes. So, the idea of needs and values came up because I actually did an assessment by, I think her name is Carolyn Weir. W-E-I-R, is definitely her last name, and she created the needs and values assessment. And so, some of the things that are evaluated are “Do you have a need for having a sense for accomplishments, certainty?” I’m looking at my list that I have for myself. “How much do you value safety, order?”

Then also, “Are you someone that likes to teach? Are you someone who likes to be supportive, an educator, spirituality?” So, you see how it’s very specific interpersonal elements that are defining the needs and values. Those are the things that I would have my clients assess in terms of assessing where you are in your life and your decision-making process.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And then, let’s say, we’ve got some clarity on that and there is an opportunity that piques our interests, generally speaking, what are the things that make you interested in a candidate versus you just sort of pass right on by them?

Zeinab Kahera
I personally value someone who has a good career story. I think that a good career story shows growth, it shows adversity, it shows resilience, it shows courage. And those can define a holistic experience for someone. And so, when I’m interviewing candidates, I’m not just looking for check-off the box, “Can you do skill one, two, and three?” It’s like, “Okay, in your journey to get to where you are right now, what were some things that you had to overcome to get here? Or, in your last role, like where were you challenged? And what were the tools or resources or people that helped you, supported you to overcome those challenges?”

Another thing that I think is valuable, not to sound like a broken record, but it’s really important, is just someone who allows themselves to be themselves and show their genuine side and laugh and show their kindness or their character. Maybe even show a little bit of vulnerability. Why are those important? Because that’s who you’re going to be working with every day. You’re not going to be working with just the resume paper, words on the resume. Like, there’s a human being behind that, and that’s who you’re going to have to problem-solve with, maybe even manage crises with, come up with creative innovative ideas with.

And so, specifically, in the interview process, I’m looking for the best expression of your personality. And one thing, I want to mention this, because this is really important to me working in tech, I’ve had the opportunity to really have good conversations about neurodiversity, especially individuals specifically who are on the spectrum.

And so, the communication of personality may present a different way as someone who is not on the spectrum. But I’ve found, even with the clients that I’ve worked with, who self-disclosed that they were on the spectrum, it was almost like a puzzle and we just had to move some pieces around, and, boom, they were able to find themselves and their voice and be who they are and feel comfortable with who they are.

So, I’m saying that to say that the advice that I’m giving, it does exist for everyone. It’s not going to necessarily look as cookie-cutter as we want but it does exist. And then one more thing because I talked a bit about the interviews, but specifically on paper with the resumes, I’m really someone, and even LinkedIn, I’m really someone who values individuals who, you can tell, that they’ve put the work in. And not the work necessarily just in their career but just how they present themselves.

I tell the clients I work with all the time, “If your resume is mediocre, like it doesn’t show accomplishment-focused language, it’s not even showing keywords, it’s not celebrating your achievements, that, to me, is an articulation of how you feel about yourself. So, why would I want to hire someone who’s presenting that they don’t really feel that confident in themselves?”

It’s not faking it till you make it because you have to actually believe what you’re saying, but it is like challenging how your truth about yourself and your perspective of yourself, and allowing yourself to celebrate the accomplishments, how far you’ve come, the skills and the knowledge that you’ve gained, and then taking that, putting that on paper, putting that on your LinkedIn profile.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, that’s where I was going to go next, is you talked a bit about one’s unique expertise. How do you recommend we figure that out for ourselves and showcase it well?

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah. My litmus test for that is, “What can you teach other people to do really well?” And the word expertise makes people feel very uncomfortable because they feel like it has to be somebody in a suit and they look very prim and proper, Just like this sensationalized image of an expert. But it’s like, “What is the thing that people depend on you to get done? What is the thing that if someone had to be trained on it they would go to you? You are the point of contact, the subject matter expert.”

So, if you’re trying to evaluate that, I would sit down and look at the work that you do, “What is the thing that just clicks for you, it comes very naturally, you could do it with your eyes closed?” And here’s an extra thing, that there is a space for it, “What do you enjoy doing, too?” because most likely, the thing that you are really good at is the thing that you enjoy doing, so much that you’re willing to invest the time and the energy to get better at it. So, that’s a way of evaluating what your expertise is.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, there’s a beautiful sort of a feedback loop cycle going on there, like work-fun-good. It’s like, “Ooh, I’m working on this thing and it’s fun, so I’m going to keep doing it. And then, hey, I’ve done it for a while, so now I’m good.” And then it just kind of snowballs in a good way.

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah, there are sometimes debates about like, “Does this dream job or this ultimate career exist?” and I’m the person who believes that it does. And one of the books that I read is called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, and he talks about this idea of your zone of genius. So, below your zone of genius is your zone of excellence. So, your zone of excellence, you do it really well but it doesn’t really bring you any fulfillment. Your zone of genius, you do it really well, it brings you fulfillment so much that if you do it for free, meaning like you didn’t have to worry about other things, you would just do it.

So, to give an example. For me, I discovered that coaching is in my zone of genius, like I am a very empathetic person, I communicate well, I can really leverage and maximize one-on-one conversations with people, and I get such a sense of fulfillment from being able to help people, specifically with their careers, and help them navigate an aspect of their lives that can be overwhelming. And I did it for free before I even started getting paid. I just started helping people for free. So, in terms of making that connection back to your expertise, it can also be something that that’s in your zone of genius, that you’re a genius at.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And you mentioned a mediocre resume. Can you dig in a little bit and tell us what makes the difference between mediocre and exceptional? Or, what are the key mistakes that show up again and again that we should put the kibosh on?

Zeinab Kahera
So, I’m not going to reinvent the wheel because there is definitely very good advice about resumes that I think people should listen to, but the first thing is just language. How are you speaking about yourself? I’m very much someone who believes in being bold and almost audacious in some aspects in terms of how you talk about yourself, “So, I’m qualified to do this.” Like, we’re talking about their profile. “I’m qualified to do this. I have a proven record of doing this. I’m an expert at this.” You’d be surprised so many people feel uncomfortable using that language.

Then when you start getting into your actual work experience, task list. If you’re writing a task list, that’s not demonstrating the impact that you’ve made. The language that you use has to demonstrate impact. So, for an example, as a career coach, if I’m writing a task list, I could say, “Meet with clients one on one for 30 minutes.” Or, “Provide feedback upon request,” or, “Schedule appointments on a weekly basis.”

You see how it just falls flat. So, if I want to be impactful though, I’ll use language like, “Responsible for supporting the career development and growth of web developers and data analysts by providing one-on-one coaching, interview prep, as well as,” “feedback that is attainable,” or something like that. It’s always rough when I try to get it off the head, but my point is to say, I told you what I did and how I did it.

If there’s a basic thing that you want to demonstrate in your resume bullet, “What did you do and what was the impact that you made? How did you make that impact that you said you did?” So, if you were like number five out of ten in sales for your division, what were a couple of things that you did to help you get to that point? And that language also tells a story. So, it’s not just, “I did A, B, C, and D.” It’s like, “A, B, C, and D helped this company do this,” because companies that are looking to hire you, they want to know, “How are you going to make a change? How are you going to solve a problem that they have?” and they can’t do that if you just tell them what your to-do list was.

Pete Mockaitis
Absolutely. And I heard some great advice associated with put the achievement or impact results number at the first part of your bullet, and then the “by coaching, developing, mentoring,” and how you did it at the second part because…and it’s so funny because, in my own resume, I said, “Oh, okay, I guess I can give that a try. Does it really matter? I’m just changing a little bit of the…” and it really did it because, as a reader of that resume, it’s very easy, like, “Okay, you did a bunch of stuff. All right,” versus, “Oh, you achieved that? Like, I’m intrigued. How did you pull that off?” “Oh, well, let me tell you.”

It’s sort of like this sequence follows my attention, like, “Ooh, that’s awesome. How did you do that?” “Oh, now I know,” versus, “Okay, you did a bunch of things.” It’s like, “Oh, and, by the way, that resulted in $3 million of savings.” It’s like, “I might miss it because it’s at the end of the bullet.” And do you have the stats on like how long a human looks at a resume?

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah. If you’re lucky, you’ll get them for 60 seconds but it’s really like less and they skim. So, you mentioned creating interest. So, a good resume from the beginning, creates curiosity, which entices the reader to keep going and going and going. So, I’m a big fan of profile, sometimes the word is a summary, but I like to use the language profile. So, that’s a small paragraph, two to three sentences, introducing yourself to the reader.

And then you go in and you’re like, “Here are my skills that are very industry-specific.” Don’t go really strong with the, soft skills where I tell people, “A soft skill is like, if you told me what it was, I can’t tell you what job you did.” So, like, “I’m a good communicator. I have a strong attention to detail,” okay, but what job are you doing? It’s not to say that soft skills aren’t important, it’s just that the reader is looking for, “Are you checking off the list in terms of industry-relevant skills that I need you to do?”

So just with those two you’re already telling the reader, “Here’s my synopsis of what you’re going to see as you read my experience from the profile. Here are the skills that I can do, which you’re also going to read when you read my experience.” So, when they go to the experience, now you’re just reinforcing what you’ve already told them, and that’s what captivates their interest is the story.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. the profile is handy in terms of orienting, it’s like, “Okay, how do you see yourself and sort of, generally, how might you fit in here? What are the high points?” I think, for me, when I hear someone say they’re a good communicator, it’s like I guess I’m just a skeptic.

Zeinab Kahera
No, I feel you.

Pete Mockaitis
I’m just like, “Prove it. Prove it.” It’s like, “I received the highest evaluations out of 20 speakers at this conference.” It’s like, “Okay.” that’s sort of unfudgeable in terms of, “You’ve got to be like a straight up con artist who’s lying to me, or that really happened and you’re good at communication. Well, I have some context. Like, oh, okay, to groups which is very different than one on one, and so maybe we’ve got something else there in terms of your coaching clients have scored X percent, increased, I don’t know, salary, or interview rate, or placement percent,” I don’t know, whatever the most relevant metrics.

Zeinab Kahera
Or hired within 180 days or something like that of working with me.

Pete Mockaitis
There you go.

Zeinab Kahera
Right, exactly. Exactly.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. All right. And then, cover letters, do they matter?

Zeinab Kahera
I hate them.

Pete Mockaitis
All right.

Zeinab Kahera
I hate cover letters. I do not feel any shame about saying it. And I will say, as someone who follows a lot of people in the career coaching industry, I’m not alone, but I think that the cover letter is important because, so your resume demonstrates your qualifications and your accomplishments. Your cover letter tells the reader why they should hire you.

And I think the thing that people miss out a lot on is you get the opportunity to make a personal connection between you and the company, especially in that first paragraph. People kind of skim through it, “I’m really interested in working in this role. I’m qualified to do this, this, and this,” and they ignore the company. They don’t mention anything that they admire about the company or any research that they’ve done. If you’re interested, it’s okay to tell them, like, “I researched you all, and this is what I found, and I love it, and this is how I feel. Like, I connect with the thing that I love about your company.” And your cover letter really genuinely allows you to do that.

And then when you get into your more industry-specific or your relevant skills, then you can kind of talk more about your accomplishments and so on and so forth but don’t miss out on the opportunity to make that personal connection with you and the company.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And then when it comes to interviews, any top do’s and don’ts there?

Zeinab Kahera
My biggest thing is you have leverage in the interview. A lot of times, people think that…I think I said that you’re beckoning call of the interviewer, and obviously you want to make a good impression, but it’s not about being someone that you’re not. It’s being the best expression of your best self. The best expression of yourself.

So, the best way to help you with that is to practice, honestly. You can hire a coach or you can grab a friend, say, “Hey, ask me these questions. I want you to look for this, this, and this. I want you to look for the quality of my answer, the timing of my answer. Do I give a good example? And do I sound confident? Look for those four things.” And then you practice with that person. Or, I did this before multiple times, I recorded myself on my computer, and I went back and listened to my answers, “Okay, I need to trim that down a little bit. Oh, that’s not necessary. I don’t need to mention that as much.”

Also, do your homework. Research the company. Research the people you’re interviewing with. When I would coach my students at my previous job, I can’t tell you the amount of time people would come to the mock interview and not research a company at all, and I’m like, “You are trying to convince these people to hire you, and you don’t even know anything about…like, go to LinkedIn and see if the person that is interviewing has a LinkedIn profile, and look up some things about it, and bring it up in the interview. It shows that you care. It shows that you’re willing to put the effort forward.”

So, to recap, practice, practice, practice, do your research, practice the timing of your answers, the quality. Make sure you have good examples of your work experience. Make sure you research the job description again so that your examples are aligning with what they’re looking for. And, also, research and look up the people who you’re going to be having these conversations with.

Pete Mockaitis
And what do you think about the STAR framework or is there an approach you recommend to interview stories?

Zeinab Kahera
Yes, the STAR method is very, very helpful. The other one that I like is CAR, which is context, action, result. I find that the extra letter can be a little bit…the S and the T can get a little bit intertwined. But, yes, when I was coming up through TARGET, we would use a model of what you did, how you did it, and the impact that it made. Or, who was involved, what you did, and what was the impact that was made.

So, this is something that I love sharing, you have to have a point system. The STAR method is a point system, there’s four points. Situation is point one, task is point two, action is point three, result is point four. Let’s say that you’re asked like an open-ended question that’s not really behavioral in structure or competency-based, how do you answer those, like, “Why do you want to work here?”

So, you can still follow the point system, “I’m going to give three reasons why I want to work here,” or, “I’m going to give two reasons why I want to work here.” Two to three is usually my sweet spot. Why does that help? Because it allows your answer to be more memorable from the interviewer’s perspective. It also keeps you from rambling and it also keeps you from under-answering.

That’s a great technique that I like to recommend to individuals who may be ADHD because they sometimes struggle with the organization of their thoughts or they lose their place. So, I say, “When they ask you a question, obviously, give yourself a few seconds to think about it. It’s okay to think about it. And then while you’re thinking about it, figure out your number, what’s your number going to be? ‘Okay, my number is going to be three and I’m going to give three reasons why I want to work here’ and then you start answering.”

Pete Mockaitis
And talking about ADHD and whether it’s clinically diagnosed or just that we’re all distracted, is the interviewer themselves is also a human being whose attention is subject to wander, and it’s just magical. I’ve noticed this in my keynotes, it’s like when you say, “There are three key things,” it just sort of like the pens click, “Oh, one, two, three,” it’s like they’re just primed. And so, why not galvanize attention that way?

Zeinab Kahera
That’s right. And when you say it through points and then you summarize really quickly, again, it makes it more easier for them to remember because you’ve organized it in a way where they don’t have to go through and search for what you said.

Pete Mockaitis
All right.

Zeinab Kahera
Very true.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah, I was thinking about what are some things that I have found to be really helpful in a successful job search, and I identified like five things that I wanted to share. The first one was that you have to have a plan that is manageable but flexible. And you can use the SMART goal setup if you want to for your plan but the reason why the plan is important is because it allows you to track and measure your progress. So, that’s number one.

Another one, though, is that, in your measurements of success, there has to be an existence of grace because I find that people are very hard on themselves or they set these expectations that can be somewhat unrealistic. So, is your measurement of success graceful? Then you have to also be willing to be uncomfortable because we live in a time that we get things instantly a lot or we have a perception that we’re getting it instantly because time is still time.

I think that we feel like when we start applying, we should instantly start hearing something, there’s not going to be any waiting time, and that’s just a lie. It’s going to be very uncomfortable and you’re going to sometimes question your decision-making process, but if that’s coming up for you, the discomfort, that’s a normal thing, so embrace it.

I mentioned before about connecting with the best parts of yourself. You have to trust that person. I think sometimes we default to the worst parts of ourselves, and that’s what causes us to question our decisions a lot more. But you did something to get you to where you are right now. You didn’t just show up. So, what were those things that you did? What were those things the best parts of you that helps you to get to where you are right now? And lean into those, channel those.

And the very last one is you got to allow other people to help you. and this really comes up, especially in that networking piece because I think that people feel like, “Well, I don’t have a big network.” If you even just found four names, three names, and you write an email, and you say, “Hey, I’m making a career change, I’m getting into this industry, I’m just looking for some potential opportunities. I’ve attached my resume. I’d love for you to look at it. If you know anyone who may be interested in hiring me, please send them my way.” Done.

And it’s okay. Why? Because if you were challenged with the opportunity to help someone, most likely you’re going to do it. You’re not going to say no. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Pete Mockaitis
And I think what’s fun about that one is because when it comes to helping, that’s one of the easiest things you can do. It’s like, “Oh, I can send an email that might take three minutes. Like, hey, you people know each other now,” and it could very well result in they get a job there, and then both people are grateful. You’ve scored brownie points with both people, the hirer and the hiree. And it took you only a few minutes, and it’s almost like you get a sliver of the credit. So, just in terms of like impact per minute, I think it’s just huge and a fun to help that way.

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah, best investment in time you can put in for yourself. And I mentioned just recently coming out of a job search, and one of the things that I did differently was I was like, “I’m going to use my network this time because in the past I didn’t do that.” That’s how I got a job literally. A friend had a friend that worked at the company that I’m going to, and I set up a coffee chat because I was like, “Okay, well, I want this person to actually know that I’m qualified to do it, and I want to…” so, we did an informational interview, is another way you can call it.

And when I spoke to her, there wasn’t a job available but the conversation that we had was so impactful for her that when a job became available that I applied to, she went from just a reference to an advocate, emailing the hiring manager, having a chat with the recruiter. And so, for me, I was like, “Wow, this is so much rewarding,” and it felt weird asking for help but I’m glad that I did it because my job search went so much more smoother and quicker than I had anticipated.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s good. All right. Well, now can you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Zeinab Kahera
Yeah. I’m not a Christian but I love this quote from the Bible, it says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” And I love that because it talks about being able to be yourself and evolve through educating and learning and transforming yourself, not necessarily just falling into place and doing what everybody else is doing.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite book?

Zeinab Kahera
The Four Agreements. I love that book. I love that book.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Zeinab Kahera
I have two, and these are big because I give them my money two use them. One is Grammarly. I love Grammarly. And then the other one is Calendly. And what took hold of Calendly is just a story behind it because I remember using it before the CEO started really getting a lot of funding, and just to see it evolve. I love Calendly.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, me too. Did you schedule this meeting with Calendly?

Zeinab Kahera
I surely did.

Pete Mockaitis
And is there a key nugget you share that seems to connect and resonate with folks; they quote it back to you often?

Zeinab Kahera
Be kind to yourself and show yourself grace. People tell me that when I tell them that it helps them a lot.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Zeinab Kahera
Yes. So, once again, thank you so much for having me here. This is a great conversation. I love talking about this stuff, so much that I turned a career into it, so I appreciate it. My website is ZeinabKahera.com. So, that is Z, E as in elephant, I, N as in Nancy, A as in apple, B as in boy. Kahera, K-A-H-E-R-A.com. Email is zeinab@zeinabkahera.com. And you can hit me up at LinkedIn. LinkedIn is like that is my boo. I love me some LinkedIn. I’m on there all the time, so definitely reach out to me there. Let’s make a connection. If you ever want to practice an informational or an interview or a coffee chat, holler at me. Yeah, that’s it.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, Zeinab, this has been a treat. I wish you much luck and fun in your career adventures.

Zeinab Kahera
Thank you so much, Pete. I appreciate you having me today.