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970: The Top 12 Presentation Mistakes to Avoid with Terri Sjodin

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Terri Sjodin discusses how to avoid the common pitfalls that diminish your persuasiveness.

You’ll Learn

  1. What your audience really wants to know 
  2. Three reasons why your presentation is boring—and how to fix it 
  3. The key mistake people won’t tell you you’re making

About Terri

Terri L. Sjodin is an international leading expert on persuasive presentations. With more than 25 years of experience, she has built an impressive client list that includes Fortune 500 companies, small businesses, national sales teams, industry associations, and even members of Congress. Terri has appeared as an expert on sales presentations on the Today Show, Bloomberg News, CNN, CNBC, and Fox Business, as well as many industry podcasts.

Resources Mentioned

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Terri Sjodin Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis

Terri, welcome.

Terri Sjodin

Thank you, Pete. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’m excited to be talking about being presentation ready, and you’ve been researching and teaching on persuasiveness and communications and presentations for decades. Tell us, any particularly surprising, fascinating, striking discoveries you’ve made about us humans and communication, and how we’re persuaded that really stick with you?

Terri Sjodin

Yeah, so as you know, my background is in speech and debate. I was highly competitive in high school and in college on the speech and debate teams, and so I’ve always had this awareness of the power and the impact of public speaking and persuasive presentation skills. And so, so fast-forward 20 years plus later, when we launched into this research study that did a deeper dive on the topic of persuasive messaging, we asked people, “Look, do you think that making a presentation mistake matters? Does it impact you getting a win or a deal or an opportunity?”

And 94% of our participants in the research study said yes, and that’s statistically a very high number, which I think is quite surprising. Secondarily, over 55% of the participants in the survey said that they had little to no presentation skills training over the course of their career, which means over half of the professionals in the market today are really doing the best they can with what they know through trial and error.

So, the goal behind the book and the research study was to help people build and deliver more effective presentations, whether they’re one-on-one, small group, or large group, whether they’re in-person, virtual, or hybrid, and then, what we know is that on some level, most people want to improve their presentations, but they just don’t know where to start, and that can be costly. So, in the book, and in the research, we identified the 12 most common mistakes, and help people course-correct faster so that they can get where they want to go.

Pete Mockaitis

Now, what’s really cool is your book is in the context of sales presentations, but the wisdom is applicable to all sorts of persuasive communications presentations. But what I love about sales is we’ve got numbers, we’ve got results, money dollars associated with them.

Terri Sjodin

Me, too.

Pete Mockaitis

So, can you share with us maybe a story of just what kind of a transformation is possible? If you maybe walk us through a situation where someone was doing some things wrong, they corrected it, how they did it, and then what they saw on the other end of it.

Terri Sjodin

Yeah, so I think one of my favorite stories is a confession of my own. I personally have made all 12 of the mistakes that we’ve identified in the book, and I try to take the reader or the listeners back to the beginning. As I mentioned, I kind of cut my teeth in this subject area when I was on the debate team. And what you learn early on when you go to a tournament is that it’s a pretty level playing field.

There are no matching uniforms if you compete in speech and debate. Everybody’s just given a number. And then six or seven competitors will go into a room, they deliver their presentation, and at the end of three preliminary rounds, the individual with the best overall scores prevails. They move on to semifinals and finals.

It’s pretty cut and dry, for better or for worse, you know if your talk was decent. But here’s the rub. I would stay, even if I didn’t win, and I didn’t always win, I wanted to, but I would stick around. I would go to the semifinals, I would go to the finals, and I would watch to see what was landing, what was working for that specific presenter, what made the judges or the audience lean in, and then I would go home and I would kind of tweak it and fix it and make my best guess at what I needed to do to make it better.

And the takeaway here is really very simple. You just don’t go back to the next tournament with the speech that didn’t win, but business people do it all the time. They go back out into the field over and over and over again. And I love that you made the reference to the fact that everybody sells something because I believe that to be true.

Even though we don’t always love the S-word, sales, whether you’re selling a product, a service, a philosophy, an idea, when you’re selling yourself even in a job interview or for a promotion, everybody sells something. And so, I hope that by helping people to understand what the most common mistakes are, then they can avoid them and again accomplish whatever their outcome is that they’re shooting for.

Pete Mockaitis

Terri, I love this so much. You’re bringing back fond memories for me of high school speech team. But what was interesting was I love that lesson right there in terms of learning, observing, turning everything into a source of wisdom there, because those who did not break, they did not get to the finals, they usually chose to go to the room where they were doing the original comedy finals.

They always rent the largest spaces for the original comedy, or OC, as they said in the biz, because that’s just funny, that’s entertaining. Like, “Let’s watch the funny guys since we’re stuck here until the bus leaves after the award ceremony.” And you’re saying, “No, I’m going to go see what are winners doing, and see what I can learn from them.”

Terri Sjodin

And isn’t that the takeaway for all of us? When we learn from the people who beat us out at whatever it is that we’re trying to achieve, then we can course-correct. But most people are moving so fast, Pete. They’re just, “I’m super busy. I don’t have time.” But what is it costing you if you don’t take the time to reflect and make those changes?

Pete Mockaitis

I hear you. Well, so you’ve got 12 mistakes. We’re not going to cruise through all 12, but maybe give us the overview of the three categories here.

Terri Sjodin

So, there are three main categories. The category of case development, “Did you build a persuasive and compelling case?” And then the second category is creativity, “Did you create a thought-provoking message, something that makes people lean in and go, ‘Oh, you know, I’ve heard this before, but the way you’re saying it, it’s landing in my mind in a different way’?” And then the third category is delivery. That includes your eye contact, your body language, but also everything from verbal missteps to the way that you deliver using visual aids. And in each of those three categories, there are four mistakes that live underneath each one of those main categories.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’d like to jump into the ones I found most intriguing.

Terri Sjodin

Okay.

Pete Mockaitis

And one of them, in terms of case development is, you say, being overly informative versus persuasive. Aren’t facts good, Terri? How is that a mistake to be overly informative? What’s the scoop here?

Terri Sjodin

So, in the overall study, there were over 5,000 participants, and this was based on individuals whose livelihood is dependent on their ability to build and deliver a persuasive message. And so, we said, “Looking back over the last six to 12 months, is there anything that you think cost you that win?” And data dumping or being overly informative really came up over and over and over again. It was in the top three. So let me kind of give you the top three and then we’ll kind of circle back to being overly informative versus persuasive.

So, the top three biggest mistakes that most people self-identified included being overly informative versus persuasive, winging it, and failing to close the sale. And you might think, “Well, do those kind of overlap?” And in a way that they do. However, being overly informative sounds like this, “We do this, and we do this, and we have this, and we’re number one, and we really care,” and it sounds like this very long laundry list, if you will, of attributes. But it doesn’t pass the “so what” test. It doesn’t feel compelling to me.

And so, you might feel very well-intended, like, “It’s my responsibility to go out and give a presentation that is incredibly informative, and then the individual will be able to make a decision.” But in today’s compelling market, what would help you and serve you better is if you can craft a clear, concise, and compelling message that answers the questions, “Why do I need this? How are you going to save me time? How are you going to save me money? How are you going to save me mental sanity?” The list goes on and on.

And so, when I’m helping someone, it’s because I’m helping them to understand, “Do you hear how you’re giving me more of a list of attributes versus compelling arguments that want to make me move towards action?” And when they have that aha moment, again, they can tweak their presentations and really focus in the brief amount of time they’re given into a place where they can go, “Oh, shoot, I can be more compelling.”

Pete Mockaitis

That’s good. As we’re talking a little bit in the context of sales presentations and demos, I’ve been on the receiving end of many, because it’s very easy for people to get email addresses of podcasters. So, it’s right in the RSS feed, and so I get a lot of them. And then a fair number of them are cool software startup-y things in the podcast world. And that is, I would say, something I do see again and again and again. It’s, like, we hear about, like, “Oh, this is the history and the founder’s story.”

Terri Sjodin

“When you really care, and we have a lot of choices.”

Pete Mockaitis

Yeah, the background of something like the technical architecture, yadda, yadda. And so, what I really want to hear is, “This thing is awesome at delivering this benefit to you,” in terms of like, “Hey, these nine podcasters quadrupled their audience size once they started rocking and rolling with our platform for a few months.” Like, “Oh, yeah. That’ll do it.” As opposed to, “Look at these cool graphics.” Like, “Okay, those graphics are cool, but I’m not seeing how this helps me accomplish the things I want to accomplish.”

Terri Sjodin

And brevity is your friend. So, again, that kind of moves us into the creativity section, but we have such a finite amount of time, and so you have to ask yourself, “How can I creatively share my most compelling talking points so that I’m creating a rock-solid case?” and pairing that with an interesting story or anecdote that makes people go, “Oh, that was good, good nugget.”

And then when you pair those with speaking in your own authentic voice and delivery, that’s when people go, “Oh, that was good. I enjoyed that. You seem authentic. I feel like you did your homework. Your arguments make sense to me.” And in that course, people feel better about making a yes decision or a moving-forward decision or, “Yes, let’s make our next appointment time decision.”

And so, in the context of your entire presentation, I mean, the intention of this podcast is to help people to get where they want to go faster. And, allegedly, if we understand and respect the fact that people buy people, then how else do we communicate our people skills, if not through our verbal communication skills?

Pete Mockaitis

That’s well said. And I liked how you conveyed, when we’ve got a compelling case delivered creatively with a strong, authentic delivery, it just feels delightful, so we’re more likely to offer a yes. And even if you don’t, I’ve had this happen before. I’m on the receiving end, and I get something that hits all those boxes, like, “You know, my takeaway is, like, this is really cool, and I like you, but it’s not for me. But I am really pretty stoked to be able to start providing referrals in terms of, like, because I feel like I’m going to look good.”

It’s like, “You got to check out this. I think you’re going to love it.” It’s like, “It doesn’t work for me, but I think it’ll work for you, and Terri’s just the best.” And so, I think it’s beautiful that, even if you don’t get the immediate yes you were seeking, when you check those boxes to deliver a delightful experience, you’re developing goodwill and an asset of a stream of good things coming to you.

Terri Sjodin

I liked your use of delightful experiences. Let’s pivot on that for a moment. I thought you might find it interesting that when we were working with our survey respondents, and we asked them, of course, “What are the most common self-confessions?” but on the opposite side, we said, “Who better to judge business and sales professionals and other business and sales professionals? So, when somebody comes in to present to you and you’re the listener, is there anything you’ve observed that cost them the winner the deal or the opportunity?”

And the number one answer was none of the three that I just mentioned that were self-identified. The number one answer that people noticed in others is that their talks were boring, boring, boring. So, don’t you think it’s interesting that most people self-identify as overly-informative, but other people are boring? And so, we call that the third person effect because, even when we’re presenting, we don’t always see ourselves in the same lens that we see others.

And so, having that dual perspective of, “How do I see myself as a presenter? But also, what do I expect when I’m in the role of the listener?” That gives us a different way of constructing our message because we’ve looked at it from both perspectives, and that can be a winning combination.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s great, and I did want to talk about boring, boring, boring. Terri, tell us, what makes something boring? And how can we be not boring?

Terri Sjodin

So, all three elements can be tied up in a boring presentation. You can have a really flat boring case where you’re like, “Oh, I’ve heard this all before. There is nothing new here. I’m bored, bored, bored, bored.” It can also come from your creativity like, “Wow, you know, you made some really great arguments, but your stories, your illustrations, your evidence, boring, boring, boring. Old, flat, too much text on the screen. It just doesn’t work in the creativity standpoint.”

And then in delivery, it could be a flat, boring, monotone voice. It could be word redundancy. It could be the fact that you just don’t seem very enthusiastic about your own content. And then, even worse, one of the new things that’s come up is, if you’re in a hybrid environment, meaning you might have two or three people that are in front of you on a presentation, but maybe you have six or seven people that are offsite and they’re participating via Zoom or Teams, and so it’s hybrid.

And oftentimes, the presenter will forget the people that are online or offsite. They forget that they’re even there. So, they’re only presenting to the people that are in person in front of them, and so it’s super boring for the people that are offsite. So boring can be impacting all three elements of building your message.

Pete Mockaitis

I hear you. There’s a lot going on there. It could be a number of culprits to get after. Is it possible, Terri, that we can zoom in on a major offender in terms of, “This is a frequent and pervasive and intense cause of boredom that needs to be rectified”?

Terri Sjodin

The easy go-tos are when somebody uses way too many PowerPoint slides in their presentation and they’re text-driven, and they’re ultimately reading you their slides. That’s just horrifying, and it happens all the time. And when we ask people, “Why do you do that?” And they’ll say, “Well, Terri, I have to get through the material.” And my question is, “What’s the point of getting through the material if nobody’s really listening to what the heck it is that you’re saying anyway?”

Or, they’ll say, “It’s not my fault. I have to read these slides because legal requires us to be compliant.” There are all kinds of lovely excuses for it, but, unfortunately, it doesn’t serve the listener. And our job, our responsibility as presenters is to always put ourselves in the seat of the listener, “Do I want to hear this? Do I think it was interesting?” all of those things.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s true, yeah. It’s funny, I recently had to read a legal disclaimer as part of a podcast ad, which doesn’t happen that often, but it was a financial service-y thing, it’s like, “Okay, this is required, so I get it.” And I think, I got a kick out of it, it even said, and you’ve probably heard this before, maybe on the radio or somewhere, in the talking points, it said, “Double speed recommended if possible.” I was like, “All right, at least you know, at least you know people don’t want to hear it.”

And I even flagged it, like, “Oh, we got a little legal disclaimer here.” And so, you’re right, I think those excuses are maybe technically true, but there is often a creative way around it, it’s like, “Oh, and we’ve got a legal disclosure. You’ll note that investment results can vary, and this is risky, and those sorts of things. Feel free to read it afterwards as well.” And there you go. You handled it in five seconds and onward to the fun stuff.

Terri Sjodin

And to your point, I know it really does come down to the individual presenter. It’s our responsibility And no one illustrates that better than the Southwest Airlines flight attendants that give you the safety announcements in their own authentic voice, or in some sort of clever and fun way, because they know that most people aren’t paying attention. But if they put a little creative spin on it, then, all of a sudden, people are like, “Oh, I wonder where they’re going to go with this.” And they can take even the most boring and mundane and make it lively and entertaining.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s good. Well, now in the zone of delivery, can you tell us what are some of the top verbal missteps people make? And how should we fix them?

Terri Sjodin

So, the surprising thing about verbal missteps was that it was an area that most people did not self-identify, but it was highly recognized in others. And the other frightening thing about that particular issue is that it is rarely something that another individual will communicate to you. So, for example, if you’re saying “um” or “like” or “you know” every other word, it will be highly irritating to the listener, but nobody will tell you.

Another issue that comes up is when somebody mispronounces a word, we just let them go. But in the back of their mind, they’re thinking, “That person has no idea how to correctly use that word,” and it undermines your credibility.

Or, if they use just too simple or basic of wording, again, that’s not something that people will tell you. If you swear in a presentation, you might think, “Oh, well, I’m just being, you know, familiar. Like, it’s cool if I swear. It’s not a big deal. They could see that I’m really down to earth.” But we found in the research that people find it off-putting, and they’re just not going to tell you.

So, all of these little things, or if you’re a close talker, and you’re just talking, it reminds, brings memories back of a Seinfeld episode where people are speaking, and you’re like, “You’re impacting my spatial relationships.” All of these things, kind of fall under that category of verbal missteps. If you’re speaking too quickly, you’re speaking too slowly, the list kind of goes on and on.

But, again, if you think about it, when was the last time somebody really spent an hour thinking about the way that they speak, the way that they articulate a word, to focus on vocabulary variance, to think about pausing instead of using a filler word, all of those graceful, beautiful elements to take your presentation to another level? You can still be in your own authentic voice. We’re just dialing it in so that your own authentic voice lands with the greatest amount of efficiency and effectiveness.

Pete Mockaitis

Oh, Terri, that’s so much fun. So, it’s perfect because, you’re right, you’re not going to learn about those without asking. And even if you ask, you still might not get it. Like, you’ll need to videotape it and have like a trusted person really review that with you in order to get it, and you won’t know. And it’s so funny the assumptions that we just make, which is, “Of course, people like the swearing.”

And maybe some people do but, I mean, it sounds like, generally, we’re better off not doing that. Maybe that didn’t need to be said but we’re, generally, better off not doing that. And maybe, I don’t know if you know, if our counterpart is swearing, are we well suited to match them, or are we still better off not swearing?

Terri Sjodin

Yeah, it’s better to not. It’s, when in doubt, leave it out. The other issue is… kind of bleeds into strange body language and gesturing where you might have your hands in your pockets, or you’re fiddling with a pen. There are all kinds of little weird, strange, and incredible things. So, the takeaway here is people say, “What can I do?” You have a couple of choices.

So, one is just do a scrimmage. If you have a big meeting coming up, you have a presentation opportunity, sit with a friend, a colleague, a spouse, somebody in your industry, and say, “Look, will you just kind of do a run-through with me, and take out your cell phone, and just hit the video button, and leave it on a stand.” And then later on, kind of talk it through, and then watch the playback so that you can see and hear yourself as the listener will. And that will give you some of the insights that you need to be able to course-correct.

Now, try not to be too hard on yourself. We all flip out when we hear our own voice. We don’t sound the same to ourselves as we do in a recorded scenario. Just to give you an example, did you feel comfortable the first time you heard your playback on your outgoing voicemail message or recording? You probably are fine because you have such a beautiful voice, Pete.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’m honored, but I’m not. Well, part of it is microphones. Don’t get me started because I won’t stop. But part of it is microphone quality and voicemails are horrific, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve Googled this before, Terri. But then even beyond that, it’s just sort of surprising. It’s like, “Oh, is that what I sound like?”

Terri Sjodin

Right. Or, “Oh, I didn’t like the way that I sounded.” And most people re-record their outgoing voicemail message over and over and over again until they feel like they get it right. And what does that tell us? It tells us, once we become aware of the way that we speak and present, what do we want to do? We want to perfect it. We want to improve upon it. We want to make it better, and we don’t want someone to have a negative impression of who we are, even based on our outgoing voicemail message, so much so that many people don’t even have an outgoing message on their voicemail.

But we know that when people hear your voice, when they hear you speak, that they connect with you, and so avoidance is not helping. What will help is to embrace it, lean into it, let’s fix it, let’s have fun with it, figure out how to make your own style and personality and authenticity really come to life. And remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect to work.

I’m not perfect. I’ve made all mistakes. I make mistakes all the time, but I’m consistently trying. That’s all. I’m trying to level up. I’m trying to make it better. And in the course of that, look, we’re all going to have wins and losses, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to work, but you do have to try. That’s really the takeaway.

Pete Mockaitis

Understood. I want to get your take on visual aids. You say one mistake is just way too much text and reading it, bad news. Any other top do’s and don’ts there?

Terri Sjodin

I’ll give you some do’s. One of the things that really works beautifully is if we just step away from your PowerPoint deck. So, think of all of the other beautiful ways that you can augment a presentation that don’t require a PowerPoint. Maybe you just use the actual physical item and hold it up, or maybe you use other sensory modalities: sound, sight, smell, that feeling, a texture of something. Things where you’re asking yourself, “Well, how can I allow the listener to engage in my presentation with other sensory modalities that don’t require a PowerPoint slide?”

And that, in and of itself, will set you head and shoulders above your competition. They’ll say, “Well, that was clever,” and you’re like, “Really? Because I moved away from a PowerPoint slide, and I used the real thing?” But it’s just those nuances make a difference and show people you care enough to make a unique kind of presentation rather than doing the same old, same old.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s super. And when it comes to really forming a connection with listeners, any top tips there?

Terri Sjodin

I think it starts with really genuinely caring about the outcome of that conversation. Even when you and I were having our pre-call before we jumped on the interview, I just like to take a couple of minutes and say, “Hey, what would make this a great experience for you? What would make it great for your listeners?” And you said, “Well, that’s a great question. Most people don’t ask me that.”

I think it’s just showing people that you show up caring, and that really helps to build connection from the get-go. Now, different people will lean into different aspects of your talk. Some people will lean into the evidence. They want to know that you can provide ROI, and they want to see the numbers. Other people are looking at your pathos, your heart, your storytelling. Others will want to know that you have the credibility, the street cred, the experience, that you’ve got your degree, or that you’ve got 30 years of experience.

So, there are a lot of nuances that speak to credibility or driving connection, and it really will depend on who you’re speaking to. But I think, from a nice general perspective, opening with a real clear intention to make a connection, not just for the sake of doing it to get the job done, but because you want to have a good personal experience with those people, that will come through, I think. And I don’t know that you have to try so hard. It doesn’t have to be that hard. I think we probably overcomplicate that part of the process.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. Well, Terri, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Terri Sjodin

I appreciate the time today. And I say this to people all the time, people ask me, “Gosh, Terri, what’s the hardest product or service to sell?” And the answer is, “The one you don’t believe in.” So, I can give you the greatest tips in the world for crafting a persuasive and compelling message but the first requirement is that you sell and represent something that you believe in at your core. And then after that, try to have fun with it.

I think, on some level, everybody wants to improve their presentations, and so I hope that this book, Presentation Ready, will help you to do that just a little easier. And if you’d like, maybe books aren’t your thing, that’s okay, you can watch the course. I have a course on LinkedIn Learning, so it’s free if you’re a LinkedIn Premium member, and that also covers the 12 mistakes. But my intention is to just get people to think about the gift of using your voice to make things happen.

There’s a beautiful quote that we often think that it’s comfort and luxury that are the chief requirements for happiness in life, when all we truly need to be happy is something to be enthusiastic about. And I’m hoping that I help people get just a little bit more enthusiastic about their next presentation opportunity, because the more fun you have delivering it, the more fun the listeners have receiving it, and that’s how you create a win-win, presentation-ready opportunity.

Pete Mockaitis

Lovely. Well, now could you share with us a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Terri Sjodin

Well, of course, the State of Sales Presentations Research Study I did in cooperation with my alma mater, San Diego State University, and if you would like, your listeners can access all three of the reports, the pre-pandemic, mid-virtual, and then the post-pandemic study, if they go to my site at TerriSjodin.com, they can download the studies for free. There’s no cost. They can get the research study reports.

Pete Mockaitis

Lovely. And a favorite book?

Terri Sjodin

My go-to would be Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I’m an entrepreneur at heart, and so I really believe in the gift of entrepreneurial freedom and being able to contribute. I think we all have our own unique ways that we want to contribute on the planet. And so, I honor everyone’s right to use their voice, create, and to monetize that.

Pete Mockaitis

Alrighty. And a favorite habit?

Terri Sjodin

So I have this weird thing that I do. My friends tease me about it all the time. But when I have a dinner party or a lunch gathering, and everyone sits down, I say, “Okay, everyone, let’s do two-minute updates.” And I go around the table, and I ask everyone to give a two-minute update of what they’re doing personally and professionally so that everyone only has to share that nugget once with all of the people that are at the table, and then it stimulates really lovely dialogue. It gets people talking about things that are near and dear to our hearts, which is what’s going on with my friends and family.

Pete Mockaitis

And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks that they quote back to you often?

Terri Sjodin

There are so many little isms, I suppose, that I say, but I say, “It doesn’t have to be perfect to work but you still have to try.”

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. And if folks want a little more to get in touch, where would you point them?

Terri Sjodin

If people would like to learn more about my speaking opportunities or about Presentation Ready, please visit our website at SjodinCommunications.com, or the easiest way is to just go to T-E-R-R-I, Sjodin, and that’s spelled S-J-O-D-I-N.com, and you can access all kinds of information, including the research study, information about Presentation Ready, and much, much more.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Terri Sjodin

There’s a beautiful adaptation to a Shakespearean quotation, which reads, “All the world is a stage, and business and sales professionals play to the most discriminating audiences of all, their clients and prospects.” So, I encourage you to just take a little extra time to craft an engaging and persuasive message, and go make your dreams happen. That’s, really, it’s all up to you. I don’t know anybody who has a magic wand, so we have to kind of put our boots to the street, craft our messages, and go make it happen.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. Thank you, Terri. This is fun. I wish you all the best.

Terri Sjodin

Thank you, Pete, for having me. I appreciate your time.

969: How to Make Better Decisions by Wisely Evaluating Claims with Alex Edmans

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Alex Edmans shows you how to think smarter, sharper, and more critically so you can make better decisions.

You’ll Learn:

  1. How our biases are holding us back 
  2. The ladder of misinference that mucks up our thinking 
  3. Why we end up mistaking statements for facts 

About Alex

Alex Edmans is Professor of Finance at London Business School. Alex has a PhD from MIT as a Fulbright Scholar, and was previously a tenured professor at Wharton and an investment banker at Morgan Stanley. Alex has spoken at the World Economic Forum in Davos, testified in the UK Parliament, and given TED/TEDx talks with a combined 2.8 million views. He was named Professor of the Year by Poets & Quants in 2021.

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Alex Edmans Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis

Alex, welcome.

Alex Edmans

Thanks, Pete, for having me on.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, I’m so excited to dig into your book, fantastic title, May Contain Lies. Could you please open us up, perhaps, with a wild tale about a story, a study, or a statistic that exploited our biases and the mayhem that erupted from that?

Alex Edmans

Certainly. So, one example is the link between breastfeeding and child development. So, everybody tells you that breast is best. They even give the impression that you are not a good mother if you’re not breastfeeding your kids, if you’re taking the easy option of using the bottle. And so, this is based on some evidence which is cast iron, pretty clear that breastfed kids do better than bottle-fed kids across a range of outcomes. This might be physical development, it might be child IQ, it might even be a maternal-kid bonding.

However, the concern here is that whether you breastfeed or not is not random. It’s driven by other factors. So maybe mothers with a more supportive home environment, they are able to breastfeed because breastfeeding is tough, and it could be their supportive home environment is what’s causing the improvement in child IQ or child health.

So, when you control for that, when you strip out the effect on IQ, of parental background, you actually find no effect of breastfeeding on child development. And so, this is striking. Why? Because everybody tells you that breastfeeding is pretty much the only way to go, but once you have a more careful look at the data, you rule out alternative explanations, you find that the evidence there is much weaker.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay, Alex, so right from the get-go, busting myths. Okay. I was fed with a bottle, and I turned out pretty well, I think, and so I’m intrigued. Some studies, it seems, take the care to carefully explore potentially confounding variables and rule them out, and zero in on what’s really driving the variation, or the impact, and others don’t. And most of us are not, in fact, digging into the details of every scientific study that’s referenced in a news article. So, I guess if we don’t get into that level of depth, we may very well find ourselves with some misinformed views of the world.

Alex Edmans

That’s correct. And sometimes we don’t want to get into that level of depth. Why? Because if we see a study whose conclusions we like, then we accept it uncritically and don’t even bother to ask whether there’s alternative explanations. So, it’s a bit like if you are a police officer and you think that a person is guilty, then you might interpret every piece of evidence as being consistent with his or her guilt, even if it’s also consistent with some other suspects going on.

So, this is something known as confirmation bias. We have a view of the world and we will latch on to anything that supports that view of the world, even if the evidence is actually pretty weak. And so, what might this be in the breastfeeding study? We believe that something natural is better than something artificial, that’s why natural flavorings are better than artificial flavorings, and that’s why the idea that breastfeeding is better than bottle-feeding, it just sounds good. It seems to accord with our view of the world, and so we don’t think, “Is this a correlation but no causation?”

Pete Mockaitis

Like, “Processed food is bad. It’s, oh, so beautiful to see a picture of a mother and baby in that intimate moment.” So, there are a number of things that point us in one direction, so we’ve got the confirmation bias in action. We’re going to dig into some real detail about cognitive biases. I’d love it if, first, you could share anything that really surprised you as you were putting this together. Like, you’re pretty well-versed in this stuff, did you make any new discoveries that made you go, “Whoa”?

Alex Edmans

Well, I think that one thing that surprised me is how much I fell for this myself, because my day job is as a finance professor to think carefully about data and evidence. And then when I went to parenting courses myself, before my son was born, I believed all of this. It wasn’t until I looked into the data much more carefully that I found it was something quite different, but despite me being somebody who should do this for a living, I fell for that.

There are also other cases where I described in the book of things that I taught to my students without, again, looking deeply at the data. So, one thing is Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours rule, which people argue claims that you can be an expert in anything if you just put in the hours. And that’s something professors like to give that message because we like to say, “Yes, you might not like finance but if you just, yeah, put a lot of effort in, you can really change the direction of your life,” and again without looking at the evidence really closely, which is what I did for this book. I was duped into this myself.

And in my defense, it’s not just me. What the evidence tends to suggest is that more intelligent people, or more sophisticated people, will fall for misinformation more. Well, that’s surprising. You might think, “Well, isn’t it the case that the smarter you are, the more you’re likely to defend against misinformation?” But the answer is no, because the smarter you are, you deploy your intelligence selectively.

So, if there’s a study you don’t like the findings of, you’re able to come up with reasons to dismiss it, to knock it down, but then when there’s a study whose findings you like, you selectively choose not to use your discernment and to accept it. So, given you use your intelligence selectively and in a one-sided manner, this might actually lead to you becoming more misinformed rather than less.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s intriguing, and it makes sense when you put it in that context there. So, I’m curious, what’s the big idea then behind this book? And how is it helpful and relevant for professionals looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Alex Edmans

Well, the big idea is that the solution to misinformation is to look within you. So, we often think misinformation is somebody else’s problem, that the government should prosecute people for producing misinformation. But that’s a problem for a couple of reasons. So, number one is that misinformation is produced far faster than the government can regulate, and, number two is that many forms of misinformation are subtle.

So, they are not the case of somebody flagrantly lying or coming up with a deepfake. So, the statement that breastfed kids have higher IQ than bottle-fed kids, that is a correct statement. You can’t be prosecuted for making that statement, but the implication that this means that breastfeeding caused the high IQ, that’s where the problem is. And so, given that often statements aren’t incorrect, they can’t be prosecuted, the costs of misinformation might be ourselves making incorrect inferences from correct facts.

So, what I’m doing in the book is to highlight our own biases that lead us to make incorrect interpretations, and then come up with a simple set of questions we can ask ourselves to make sure that we’re not being misinformed.

Pete Mockaitis

Lovely. Do you have any cool stories about a professional up-leveling their game in this domain and making superior decisions with superior outcomes as a result?

Alex Edmans

Well, unfortunately, you don’t hear the cases in which situations were avoided. You hear about situations where bad decisions are made because those are the things that make the news. So, if somebody did something which avoided a disaster, that’s not going to make the news because if there’s no disaster, there’s nothing newsworthy. But you do know of cases in which people did not heed this and there were disasters.

So, one big disaster was Deepwater Horizon. So, that was a case in which the oil rig; they ran some tests to see whether it was safe to remove the rig. All these tests failed, but because the people were so smart, they came up with an excuse. They were able to fabricate a reason for why the tests failed. They called this the bladder effect. And because of this bladder effect, they gave themselves an excuse to run a quite different test. That different test passed, and so they thought the well was safe, and this led to the disaster.

Now, in the inquiry afterwards, the government found that this bladder effect was completely made up, that it was a fiction, but it was because the engineers were so desperate to finish this job, and because they had a strong bias, because Deepwater Horizon was the best performing rig, then they went ahead and made up this reason, and then they thought the well was safe.

So, there’s certainly cases in which we have these disasters which are a result of these biases. The cases in which acknowledging the biases led you to not make mistakes, they’re much harder to come by. Why? Because if a mistake was not made, then this is not something as newsworthy.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay, fair enough. That’s so meta, really, Alex, in terms of even there’s a selection bias at work in terms of the cases we hear about on bias.

Alex Edmans

Unfortunately, yes, because what makes the news, what do we hear about? We hear about when things go wrong. So, if, indeed, correct application, correct inference leads to things going right, we would not be hearing about that because of the selection.

Pete Mockaitis

Sure thing. Well, I mean, there’s a huge career benefit in an extra dose of disaster avoidance, both for the poor creatures of the ocean and our own careers and colleagues and customers and products, etc. So, break it down for us, you mentioned we got two big old biases that are largely to blame for us getting snookered, fooled by misinformation. Can you unpack these for us?

Alex Edmans

Certainly. So, one that I’ve alluded to is confirmation bias. So that applies when we have a pre-existing view of the world, and then we interpret evidence as always supporting that view. And notice here that this pre-existing view need not be deeply ideological. So, one might think, “Okay, maybe confirmation bias applies to things like gun control or abortion or immigration,” but it applied to something more subtle like breastfeeding.

And even though I don’t have a particular ideology about breastfeeding, something as subtle as me thinking that something natural is better than something man-made that led me to fall for that trap. So, that’s confirmation bias and that kicks in when we have a pre-existing view of the world, even a subtle one.

But what happens when we don’t have a pre-existing view of the world, if we think we’re open-minded? So that’s when a second bias comes in, and this bias is called black-and-white thinking. So, what is that bias? So even if we have no preconceived view, if we view the world in black and white terms, we think something could be either always good or always bad, then we will be swayed by misinformation which is extreme.

So, let’s give a practical example. So, the Atkins Diet was about carbs. Now, that’s something where people don’t really have strong views. So, protein, people think protein is good. You learn that protein repairs muscles, that’s why you’ve got all these protein supplements that you can want to buy. Fat, we think it’s bad, it’s called fat because it makes you fat. But carbs, they’re not so clear-cut, so many people might not have had strong opinions on carbs until the Atkins Diet, which demonized carbs. It said try to have as few carbs as possible.

That played into black-and-white thinking. There were no shades of gray there, and that made the diet really easy to follow. Well, you didn’t need to count your calories and figure out are carbs within 30 to 40 percent. You just looked at the carbs label on nutritional information and if it was high, you avoided it. But notice, if Atkins had had the opposite diet, saying try to eat as many carbs as possible, he might have also gone viral because that suggests, also plays into black-and-white thinking, it’s easy to implement.

So, what this means is that to be famous, to have an impact, you don’t necessarily need to be right. You need to be extreme, and, indeed what we typically see here are lots of extreme statements, “No bottle feeding at all. Exclusive breastfeeding,” “Don’t eat any carbs. Maybe eat as many superfoods as possible.” These things leave no potential for nuance but they become successful because of this black-and-white idea.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, Alex, that is well said. You don’t need to be right. You need to be extreme, and that’ll do it.

Alex Edmans

Yeah, and if you could put it in 280 characters then that’s something which will be really easily shared, and people want to share things which sound simple. And why people share misinformation is they’re not bad people. They want to share useful practical tips. And so, if the tip is, “Just avoid X or eat as much as Y,” that’s something that people share because they think it’s useful information that people can implement. It’s much easier than saying, “Make sure that X is between 30 and 35 percent of your daily calories.”

Pete Mockaitis

While we’re talking about biases, I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to overconfidence. It seems like that can just sort of make everything a little bit worse. People are fooled, and then they seem quite certain about their point of view being correct, or true, or “This is the way. This is the only way.” Any thoughts on overconfidence?

Alex Edmans

Absolutely. I think it’s tied to my early comment about how more sophisticated people, or more intelligent people, suffer more from misinformation. Why? Because their biases are stronger, and potentially overconfidence plays into this. How can it play into this? Is that overconfidence can make the confirmation bias stronger? How?

So, one of my fields is sustainable finance. That’s the idea of companies that do good for the world, perform better in the long term. And I might think, “Well, why did I go into this field? I could have looked at many, many areas of finance.” The reason that I’ve chosen to go into sustainable finance is the evidence on this must be really rock solid. There must be rock solid proof that sustainability improves performance.

And so, if, indeed, there’s a new study which comes out, saying, “Well, actually, the evidence for sustainable investing or ESG is less strong than people believe,” I might be even more stringent in rejecting that. Why? Because I know that my field is sustainable investing, and the fact that I’ve chosen to be in this field means that I know more than anybody else, and it must mean that I chose to be in this field because the evidence is strong, and so that’s why I might choose to ignore people on the other side.

Pete Mockaitis

Yes, understood. Okay. Well, you’ve got a really cool tool, your ladder of mis-inference, and a few steps along that ladder. Could you walk us through these and give us some examples?

Alex Edmans

Absolutely. So, why did I come up with this ladder of mis-inference to begin with? It’s to provide a practical solution to the reader to try to figure out how to be awesome at their job by spotting misinformation. Now, you might think spotting misinformation is hard because, “There’s like thousands and thousands of types of misinformation out there, how can I remember all of them and put them into practice?”

So, I wanted to categorize them into just four. And so, I illustrate this into what I call the ladder of mis-inference. Why do I use the ladder as the graphic? It’s that when we start from some facts and then we draw some conclusions, it’s like we’re climbing up the ladder. And why I call it the ladder of mis-inference is that we actually make missteps up the ladder. We are drawing conclusions that are not valid.

So, the first misstep is a statement is not fact, it may not be accurate. So let me unpack that, and, again, with an example as you suggested. So, one big piece of evidence which supported the over-prescription of opioids in the US, which led to the opioid epidemic, was an article in the New England Journal of Medicine entitled “Addiction Rare in Patients Treated with Narcotics.” That has been cited over 1,650 times.

Now, that is a statement and there’s no misinformation there. The article was truly called “Addiction Rare in Patients Treated with Narcotics.” It was truly in the New England Journal of Medicine. But if you click on the article, you find it’s just a letter to the editor. So, there was no study behind it, there was no science, just somebody wrote in to the editor, and so people just cited this article without reading it, without seeing the context, which was this was a letter to the editor rather than a scientific study. And this was seen to be one of the reasons why opioids were so readily prescribed, obviously with then fatal consequences.

And even if you think the letter was completely accurate, and it wasn’t made up, the letter considered patients in hospital. And maybe if you’re in hospital, you won’t get addicted because you’re given narcotics on a prescribed basis. That’s quite different from giving it to an outpatient who might take it whenever he or she wants to. So, again, a statement could be not flawed, it could be not made up, but it’s still inaccurate if you don’t see the context. This was a letter, not a study, it only looked at hospitalized patients.

So, you might think, “Well, the solution is just to check the facts. Let’s go to the original source, read the full context, and that’s enough.” But that’s not enough because of the second step up the ladder. This is the idea that a fact is not data, it may not be representative. So, again, let me give an example. So, one of the most famous TED Talks of all time led to a book called Start with Why by Simon Sinek. This argues that if you have a why, a passion, a purpose, you’ll be successful. Again, those are things that we want to be true. We believe in the power of passion.

And he gives the examples of Apple, clearly successful, that’s a fact. Wikipedia, clearly successful, this is the world’s founding for knowledge. The Wright Brothers, clearly successful, they got the record for the first test-powered flight. But those are just cherry-picked examples. There could be hundreds of other companies that started with a “why” and then they failed, but Simon Sinek will never tell you about them because they don’t support his theory.

So, even if the facts are correct, they might only be a small part of the picture. They’re not giving you the full picture and, therefore, they’re misleading. They’re not data.

Pete Mockaitis
Intriguing.

Alex Edmans

So, you might think the solution is to get the full picture. It’s not data, it may not be representative.

Pete Mockaitis

So, when you say a fact is not data, I mean, I suppose, not to mince words here, a fact could technically be data, but it’s incomplete, non-representative data. So, I guess an isolated fact is not the whole relevant universe dataset. That’s not as pithy though, Alex.

Alex Edmans

Correct, yeah. No, but you’re absolutely right. You could say it, technically, counts as data, but it’s selected data, so what you want is a full representative sample, a representative data sample, rather than just something cherry-picked and selected.

Pete Mockaitis

Well, Alex, is starting with “why” not a good move? Is that not a research-backed approach to success?

Alex Edmans

It doesn’t seem to be research-backed. So, there were a couple of companies which have been successful, but actually Apple never even started with “why.” So, if you look at Simon Sinek’s book, it says Apple had this “why” which was “Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo” but Apple never said that. And, again, this is something that I wanted to look at in the research for my book, as I thought that was a fact but it was never said, it was never in any of Apple’s documentation.

And also, Simon Sinek says, ‘Well, people don’t buy what Apple does. They buy why they do it. They buy the iPhone because they believe in Apple’s wanting to change the status quo.” Really? Don’t we buy Apple because of its functionality, its apps, its usability, the fact that it’s got great after-sales service? Do people really think about the higher purpose of Apple when they buy the products? No. What they will go for is how useful it is. But the idea that a “why” is what leads to success, that’s empowering. Why? Because anybody can come up with a “why.” If you have enough brainstorming sessions or market bends or flip charts, that is a nicer message to give than you need to produce an awesome product.

Not everybody can produce an awesome product or be really innovative, and so that’s why that book and that message has been so successful is it’s empowering. It tells us that the secret to success is in our own hands, and it’s something easy to do rather than something much more difficult, hard work in designing a really good product with great functionality.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s intriguing. And then as we’re thinking critically about these assertions, it seems like a lot of times the conclusions are more nuanced. Like, “Having a clear ‘why’ can result in increased motivation that boosts results. However, having a great ‘why’ is by no means a proven success principle that we can hang our hat on, as this will undoubtedly massively increase our odds of victory.”

Alex Edmans

You’re absolutely right, Pete. So, what causes success? There’s lots and lots of factors which contribute to the success of a person, a company, and there’s also luck which comes into it. But a book is never going to lay out all the different things that a company or a person needs to do to become successful. Books, typically, have one idea. And I know this through having tried to publish books, is that whenever you have a pitch, they say, “What is the big idea? Not the 10 ideas, what is the one idea in the book?”

And so, this is why a lot of books try to highlight this one thing which is the secret to success. So, this could be starting with “why” or it could be grit, to take Angela Duckworth’s book, or it could be ten thousand hours to take Malcolm Gladwell, so they focus on one particular thing, and say that’s the one thing that drives success, when it might not drive success. There might be lots of other factors which are driving success. And even if your one factor works, it might not work in every circumstance. It might work when combined with a lot of other stuff.

So, maybe a “why” does matter, and indeed some of my work is on the benefit of purpose, but it also needs to be combined with flawless execution, also discipline, and knowing what “why projects” to turn down, no matter how purposeful they are, maybe they’re pie in the sky, but those messages are much more nuanced. Instead, the simple black-and-white message, which plays into black-and-white thinking, that why will always lead to success in every situation, that’s something which sells, and this is why a lot of books with that message have been very successful.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. So, we got a statement is not a fact, a fact is not data or the whole dataset. And next, we got data is not evidence.

Alex Edmans

Correct. And so, when you get the whole dataset, so you might think, “Ah, this is the solution. Let’s get the whole dataset. Companies that started with ‘why’ and failed, and companies that succeeded even though they didn’t start with ‘why,’ and we have the whole dataset, can we not then just claim a conclusion from that?” And, the answer is not, but why? Because of the third misstep, because data is not evidence, it may not be conclusive.

So, what do I mean by evidence? Because people use the terms data and evidence interchangeably, but the word evidence, let’s think about a criminal trial, that’s where we often hear that word. And evidence is only evidence if it points to one particular suspect. So, if the evidence suggests that Tom or Dick or Harry could have killed Emma, that is not evidence because it’s with multiple suspects. And the problem with lots of datasets is, even though they look at the full picture, they could point to multiple conclusions.

So, if I go back full circle to the breastfeeding example at the start, “Breastfed kids have better outcomes than bottle-fed kids,” is it breastfeeding causes the higher IQ, or is it parental background leads to some parents to breastfeed, and that parental background also leads to the higher IQ, so that could be a correlation without causation? And, yeah, everybody knows, in the cold light of day, that correlation is not causation, but often we forget this if we like the story being paraded. Due to our confirmation bias, we switch off our discernment and just don’t ask that question if we like the conclusion.

Pete Mockaitis

Intriguing. So, data is not evidence. In the incidence of a crime, we might have data in terms of “The window was shattered.” It’s like, “Okay.” “The window was shattered with a hammer.” “Okay, so that’s some information that we know, yep, that window was shattered with a hammer.” But it’s not evidence because any number of people could have done that window-shattering with a hammer. So, these are just kind of facts that we’ve collected as opposed to things that are really strongly pointing in a particular direction.

Alex Edmans

That’s entirely correct. But if you’re a police officer and you already have a particular suspect in mind, you might interpret all of these facts as consistent with your suspect, even if there were alternative suspects going on. So, then what’s the practical tip to the listener or the reader? Is, “How do we know that we have the correct interpretation of data and are not being blind to alternative explanations?” It’s to consider and assume the data has the opposite result.

So, let’s assume that the data have the result that we don’t like. So, let’s say the data found that breastfed kids perform worse. Now, that goes against our biases because we think that something natural should have a good outcome. So, then we would try to appeal to alternative explanations, or alternative suspects. We might say, “Well, maybe the women who can afford formula are wealthier. They can afford to buy it, and maybe it’s their wealth which leads to the better outcomes of bottle-fed kids.”

So, now that we’ve pointed to the fact that there’s an alternative suspect, which is parental wealth, we have to ask ourselves, “Does that alternative suspect still apply even though the result is in our direction?” And the answer is, yes, it could well be that the parents who are wealthier are able to afford to breastfeed because it’s so exhausting, they might be able to afford home help as well, and maybe it is that income which is also behind the high IQ and other outcomes.

And so, what is the idea of imagine the opposite so powerful? It’s because it unlocks the discernment which is already naturally within us. So, when we hear about misinformation, we might think, “Oh, this is so difficult for me to tackle. I’m a time-pressed, busy person. I don’t have time to dig into the weeds of a study, and I don’t have a PhD in statistics.” But what I’m trying to highlight is we already have discernment.

Whenever I see a study posted on LinkedIn that people don’t like the findings of, there’s no shortage of reasons as to why this is correlation but not causation, why the dataset is not the full complete dataset. So, what the idea of imagine the opposite is, is to try to trigger and activate the same discernment when you find a study you do like and are just tempted to lap up.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s good. Okay. And then the fourth and final step, evidence is not proof. Lay it on us.

Alex Edmans

Yeah, absolutely. So, let’s say you found a perfect study which has perfect causation, that is evidence, but it’s not proof. So, what’s the difference? A proof is universal. So, when Archimedes proved that the area of a circle is pi times the square of the radius, that was not only true in the 3rd century BC in ancient Greece, it’s true in 2024 around the world. But evidence is only evidence in the setting in which it was gathered. So, if the evidence pointed to Tom killing Emma, and Tom was the husband, this doesn’t mean that in every case when a woman dies, it’s always the husband that did it. So, evidence has a particular setting.

So, I go to the 10,000 hours rule. Malcolm Gladwell claims that in any setting, from chess playing to neurosurgery, you need to put in 10,000 hours to be successful. But the evidence he cited was just on violin playing, and what leads to success in violin playing might be quite different to what leads to success in neurosurgery. Violin playing, this is a very predictable environment. You play the sheet music. You can practice that same sheet music 10,000 times.

Whereas, with neurosurgery, one surgery might be very different from another, there’s lots of other factors going on. So, what works in one setting might not work in others. But if you want to sell a bestselling book, you want to say that you’ve identified the secret to success in every situation. Had Malcolm Gladwell claimed the 10,000 hours rule for success in violin playing, he would have not had the same impact that he did.

Pete Mockaitis

That’s right, much smaller audience, the violin. Yes, those who are ambitious violin virtuosos in training is a much smaller market size than the broader sales group of customers for that book.

Alex Edmans

Absolutely. So, we want to claim a theory of everything, a secret to success in all situations, and so the broader we make the claim, the more impact we’ll have, but often these claims are over-extrapolating from evidence gathered in one specific targeted setting.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. Well, so then, to recap, we got a statement is not a fact, a fact is not data, or the whole dataset, data is not evidence, and evidence is not proof. Well, Alex, it would seem to follow then we have not a lot of proof, not a lot of things are proven then, based on all the ways that this could fall apart. Is that fair to say?

Alex Edmans

That’s absolutely fair to say. And what this means is that while we think, well, this is really shocking because we don’t know anything, it actually means that we can live our lives in a more relaxed way, because often things are said to us as if they’re definitive proof, “You are a bad mother if you ever breastfeed your kid,” “If you want to lose weight, you should never eat any carbs,” “If you want to train for a marathon, you should never drink any alcohol.” Often the reality is much less black and white than these prescriptive statements say.

So, by be discerning with evidence, rather than this being exhausting, because we need to question everything, actually it’s less exhausting because if we question stuff, we realize that some of these dictums and rules we’re given are not as well-founded as people claim, and this allows us to live a freer and more relaxed life.

Pete Mockaitis

Now, Alex, I’m loving the way your mind is working and processing, and sometimes I go here in terms of, you know, being curious and skeptical and exploring, “Well, hey, could it be this or could it be that, and maybe it’s not fair to interpret this or that way?” Alex, do you find that when you do this in practice with teammates, colleagues, collaborators, they just get annoyed with you? Like, “Oh, my gosh, Alex, you’re slowing us down. You’re making this much harder and longer than it needs to be.” How do we deal with some of these interpersonal dynamics when we’re vigorously pursuing truth?

Alex Edmans

Yeah, thanks for the question, Pete. And I think people can sometimes get annoyed if you’re doing it in the wrong way. So, what do I mean by the wrong way? So, sometimes if you oppose an idea based on the evidence, they think you have different goal from them when, in fact, your approach might be different. So, let’s give an example.

So, some of my work is in diversity, equity and inclusion, and I would love the evidence to be overwhelming, that diversity pays off. I’m an ethnic minority myself but I point out that actually some of the research on this claiming that DEI improves financial performance is much flimsier than often claimed. So, people can get annoyed and say, “Oh, you must be racist or sexist if you’re anti-DEI.”

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, wow, that’s hardcore.

Alex Edmans

But what I’m claiming, well, that is pretty hardcore, and these are the reasons why sometimes, on these issues, where there’s strong confirmation bias, it is hard to speak out. But what I’m saying here is I absolutely am pro-DEI, but my concern is the evidence, and the evidence here on DEI might not be as strong. Why? Because all they look at is gender and ethnicity. So, they whittle down the complexity, the totality of a person, to just their gender and ethnicity.

That gives the impression that if you’re a white male, you can never add to diversity even if you’re the first in your family ever to go to university, even if your background is humanities rather than sciences, which is what everybody else is doing in your company. So, what I’m saying is that the problem with these diversity studies does not mean that diversity is not a bad thing, but if we are to put in a DEI policy, it needs to go beyond gender and ethnicity, and look at socio-economic diversity. It needs to look at diversity of thinking, also not just diversity but also equity and inclusion.

So, by trying to say, “Hey, I’m not going to try to debunk the whole DEI movement,” but to say that if we want to implement DEI, it has to be broader than these rather reductive measures analyzed by these studies, then that’s the way hopefully the message is more positive message rather than being seen to nitpick and to get in the way of people.

Pete Mockaitis

Oh, that’s helpful, Alex. You’re sort of sharing where you’re coming from, the context, your goals, and what’s going on there. And, well, while we’re here, a brief detour. Alex, my understanding of the DEI research is that in jobs that require creativity and kind of novel thinking and approaches, that the DEI research is pretty robust in terms of having diversity in these contexts, sure enough, does result in more better ideas and good outcomes. Since you know, and I don’t, is that an accurate snapshot of the state of the support of DEI research?

Alex Edmans

That is the claim, but even that claim is not particularly backed up by data. So, let’s take one famous datapoint or one famous study. This is the TED Talk which initially was called “Want to be more innovative? Hire more women.” So, what this argued is that in an innovative setting, the more women we have, the better the performance is.

But why was the evidence incorrect? Well, number one, the measure of diversity looked at six different measures of diversity, not just gender diversity, but age diversity, lots of other forms of diversity. So, even if the results were correct, it could have been any of those diversity metrics, but they just honed in on the gender diversity because that’s the one which gets a lot of popular support.

Pete Mockaitis

It’s a good title, Alex.

Alex Edmans

Well, it was, and it was actually a good title but a misleading title. So, there were so many complaints to TED about that title that they were forced to change the title. So, the title of that talk is now “How diversity makes teams more innovative.” Now, but even that title isn’t accurate because how did they measure innovation? What they looked at was the percentage of revenues which were generated by products which were invented in the last three years. And so, that’s not necessarily a measure of innovation. That could be just a measure of obsolescence of your prior products, so maybe you’re just doing a bad job of maintaining your prior products.

Pete Mockaitis

Yeah, your old products sucked.

Alex Edmans

It might be, yeah, they all just suck. You’re just not able to maintain them, and it could be that the new products that you’re developing in the last three years, they’re just incremental changes over what you had previously. There’s nothing there which captures the magnitude of innovation. And, also, number three, it could be correlation but not causation. It could be that a great CEO, both hire as more diverse workers, and that same great CEO is also more innovative, so it’s not necessary that diversity causes innovation, something else causes both.

So, those are really basic errors. You measure diversity incorrectly, you measure innovation incorrectly, and also there could be no clear link between the two, but because that’s a nice message that people want to hear, this is something which has been well paraded. So, again, if I go back to, “How do I then approach this?”

Well, my goal is shared as the same as everybody else, I want high functioning organizations, and I’m a supporter of diversity. So, the reason why I’m raising objections is not I’m anti-DEI, but my approach to this is to look beyond just gender and ethnicity, and look at these other forms of diversity. And when you look at more careful research, then you’re right, Pete, in innovative settings, then these broader measures of diversity, such as socio-economic and cognitive diversity, they do lead to better outcomes.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, Alex, what you’re showing here is proof, and even evidence, is hard to come by. But, lay it on us, some of your favorite tactics and strategies for smarter thinking. I love that notion of that suspect. Let’s pretend the data came out the opposite way. What would we conclude? Or where would we be pointed to in terms of suspects? Well, now, how does that inform how it did come out? So that’s a lovely approach. Can you lay on us a few more tools like that?

Alex Edmans

Absolutely. And what I’m going to do to do this is to go beyond just analyzing specific studies because how we want to be smarter-thinking is you want to get just different information more generally not just from studies. So, in an organization, where will these different viewpoints come from? From our colleagues. But often, we have an environment in which people might be just unwilling to speak out. So, what can we do to actively encourage dissenting viewpoints?

So, there was a time when Alfred Sloan was running GM, and he concluded a meeting by saying, “Does everybody agree with this course of action?” And everybody nodded, and then Sloan said, “Well, then we’re going to postpone the decision until the next meeting to give you the opportunity to disagree with me.” So, he recognized that no decision, no course of action that he came up with was going to be 100% perfect. So, if there were no objections, it was not because his proposal was flawless, but simply because people didn’t have time to come up with objections.

And, more generally, what can we do within an organization to encourage dissent, to encourage people to speak up. Again, going back to diversity, people think a lot about just demographic diversity, but it’s not sufficient to bring in a mix of people. We need to make sure that they feel safe to speak up. And one example could be in a meeting where you propose a strategy, and most people agree, and then one person, let’s call him David, comes up, and says “Hey, I actually have some concerns with this strategy ABC.”

Now, despite David raising the concerns, you still go ahead. Then if the chair of the meeting at the end goes to David privately, and says “You know, I really appreciate you speaking up. Even though we ended up going with the strategy, we will take all of your concerns into account.” So why is that useful? Because in the absence of that, then David might have felt, just like the question you asked me earlier, Pete, “It’s costly for me to raise a dissenting opinion. People might have seen me as being annoying, and maybe the next time I have some concerns, I’m not going to speak up and say anything because it made no difference anyway, and I just annoyed a lot of people.”

But here, if the chair just takes five minutes to say, “No, we really value in this organization people who come up with dissenting opinions,” then maybe next time, the equivalent of the Deepwater Horizon disaster would have been avoided, because then somebody like David would have said, “Hey, we have failed this negative pressure test three times. We need to take seriously the possibility that this rig is unsafe to be removed.”

Pete Mockaitis

Beautiful. Any other top strategies?

Alex Edmans

Yeah, so, in addition to this, one thing that you can do is try to assign a devil’s advocate in particular situations, which is somebody to critique a particular course of action. So, this happens in academia, my field. So, whenever a paper is presented at a conference, after the presentation, a discussant comes and comments on this. And the discussant is somebody who’s assigned to read the paper in advance and to come up with critiques, particular blind spots that the author might have.

And so, the analogy of this in a situation might be if there’s an investment management firm where some team is proposing a particular deal, is there’s somebody who might be assigned to poke holes and to scrutinize the deal and highlight all the things that can go wrong. Now, ideally, you might have a devil’s advocate emerging anyway, the culture might be such that people are willing to share their concerns, but if you’re not at that stage, if the culture is still developing, maybe just assigning somebody to find some flaws in this, this is a way of getting different viewpoints.

So, this is something that John F. Kennedy came up with when faced with the Cuban missile crisis. The immediate response to seeing these missiles being installed in Cuba was to bomb the missile sites and have a full-scale invasion, but he created this executive committee of the National Security Council, where he had two teams, one proposing the invasion, another proposing the blockade, and each team was critiquing each other’s proposed course of action so that he was able to see both sides of this difficult situation.

Pete Mockaitis

Lovely. Well, tell me, Alex, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we shift gears and hear about some of your favorite things?

Alex Edmans

It’s just to highlight that this misinformation is really important. So, you might think, “Why do I need to listen to an academic who goes through life reading and scrutinizing academic papers?” In my job, I never read a single academic paper. But what I’m trying to highlight is that whenever we make decisions, they are based ultimately on research. So, if we choose to breastfeed or bottle-feed our child, we are doing this on the basis of research.

When we’re trying to invest in a sustainable way or implement particular DEI policies, those are ultimately based on research, and so it really matters whether we use the best research, and to discern whether the research is best, we don’t need to be a scientist. We don’t need to scrutinize every footnote in a paper. We just need to ask simple, common-sense questions.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. Well, now could you see our favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Alex Edmans

Yeah, so it’s from a Columbia finance professor, called Laurie Hodrick, where she was asked in the Financial Times, “What is your greatest lesson learned?” And she said, “You can do everything you want to and be everything you want to be, but not all at once.” So why do I like this? It’s that way because there’s loads of things that we want to do in our life, and lots of people just like to be spread really thinly and just do so many things that they just get burnt out. Instead, we have like different chapters to our career.

Pete Mockaitis

Okay. And could you share with us a favorite book?

Alex Edmans

Yeah, so The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey was something that I was given as a teenager. I didn’t read it because, as a teenager, I was busy doing other stuff. But then I read it about ten years later, and I wished that I had read it back then. There are some new books which are trying to play theme and variations on this. Books like Atomic Habits or Deep Work, and they’re not bad books, but I think the original authority on questions such as time management and discipline and focus were in the Stephen Covey book.

Pete Mockaitis

And do you have a favorite habit? Perhaps one of the seven or something homegrown?

Alex Edmans

Yeah, so it’s to try to just immerse myself without any distraction, to engage in deep work. So, there will be certain days where I will have zero meetings the whole day. So, that was yesterday, I had no meetings yesterday, no meetings all tomorrow, so that I can get really immersed in something. I’ll try to work without my phone near me. I’ll try to have my internet blocker on, which is not distracting me with email, so that when I am doing some writing, which I’m going to do tomorrow, I can do this and be in full flow.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks; they quote it back to you often?

Alex Edmans

I think it might be from my first book, which was on purposeful business, and actually the TEDx talk that that book was linked to, it’s to reach the land of profit, follow the road of purpose. And so, why is that sometimes a quoted phrase? It’s that often when people think about purpose, people claim it’s about being woke and saving the dolphins and saving the coral reefs, but a serious business person should not care about this.

I’m going to highlight that a purposeful business is not just one that is good for wider society, it’s good for the ultimate long-term success of the company as well. And so, this idea that there’s a business case for purpose, a commercial and financial case, not just a moral and ethical case, is something that resonates with people, particularly those who would otherwise be skeptical of purpose.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Alex Edmans

So, my website, AlexEdmans.com, where Edmans is E-D-M-A-N-S. I’m on social media, LinkedIn and X as @aemans. And my new book May Contain Lies, there is a website attached to that book, MayContainLies.com, where, if there were instances of misinformation that I learned about after I finished the book, I do simple blog posts on that.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Alex Edmans

I’ll say, just question stuff. So, if you want something to be true, just to apply this idea of imagine the opposite and think about how you would shoot this down, I think it’s just really important to try to be discerning and try to overcome our biases, these are so strong, these are things that I myself suffered from, and I think if we can overcome these biases, we will significantly improve our performance at our job.

Pete Mockaitis

All right. Alex, thank you. This has been a lot of fun and I wish you much truth in your future.

Alex Edmans

Thanks so much, Pete. Really enjoyed the interview. Thank you so much for having me on.

883: How to Thrive in Uncertainty and Chaos with Dan Thurmon

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Dan Thurmon shares powerful tools to make chaos your ally.

You’ll Learn:

  1. How to reframe the stresses of uncertainty
  2. How to break the patterns of negative self-talk
  3. The tiny language shifts that make a huge difference

About Dan

Dan Thurmon is the founder and President of Motivation Works, Inc, a company that helps leaders and their organizations move confidently through change and transformation, so they become, achieve, and contribute MORE. His clients include Bank of America, Coca-Cola, Delta Airlines, Honeywell, Johnson & Johnson, Kraft, Marriott, Microsoft, Procter & Gamble, Prudential, State Farm, and Walmart.

He’s delivered thousands of presentations across six continents for audiences including world leaders, Fortune 500 companies, entrepreneurs, educators, and even troops on the front lines of battle in Iraq and Afghanistan.

In 2011, he was inducted into the prestigious Speaker Hall of Fame — and is one of fewer than 200 living speakers to have received this honor.

Dan is also a writer and content producer. He’s authored three books: Success in Action, Off Balance On Purpose, and most recently, Positive Chaos.

Along with his speeches and books, Dan produces an ongoing, weekly video-coaching series and podcast in which he shares leadership principles and life-enhancement strategies in under three minutes.

Resources Mentioned

Dan Thurmon Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Dan, welcome to How to be Awesome at Your Job.

Dan Thurmon
I am delighted to be here. Thanks, Pete, and great to be with your awesome audience.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, thank you. Well, I’m excited to be chatting. And I think we first need to hear about some of your amazing physical feats that you do when you’re speaking, handstands, etc. What’s the story here?

Dan Thurmon
Well, I was a hyperactive kid who was getting in trouble constantly in school and at home. And, fortunately, I found a channel for that energy that was very positive in my life. I learned to juggle. I learned acrobatics when I was 11, 12 years old. And someone I always admired told me, “Never let this out of your life. Like, I see what this means to you. And as long as you do it, you’ll always be able to do it.”

So, I’ll be 55 this year, and, yeah, I’m still tumbling across stages and doing handstand pushups on the lecterns at my speeches, but not just because I can, but really to illustrate principles about balance and taking action in big bold ways, and the fact that balance is not what you get ever, it’s what you do, and we need to become better balancers, and learn to adapt to the uncertainty and actually use it to our advantage.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, you said you started early, and you said if you kept doing it, you’d never lose it. So, if I am approaching 40, and I haven’t done handstand pushups before, is it still possible for me to learn?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, I think so. It all kind of comes into that whole, “What is your level of willingness? How much does it matter to you?” And then you can map the course to the ability, which handstand pushups is really about strength, it’s about flexibility and confidence, and it’s a road to get there. But if you’ve had some kind of measure in your past of physical activity, your body knows how to respond to exercise then you can likely get there, I would say, with the right coach. But how much time do you have? And how serious are you about the goal?

Pete Mockaitis
I hear you.

Dan Thurmon
That’s kind of the deal.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I was randomly on YouTube and I encountered this fellow Chris Heria who’s doing these just fantastic feats, and he did something I’ve never seen before, and it blew my mind, and I was just like, “I want to do that.” It was a, I hadn’t even heard of it, a full planche pushup.

Dan Thurmon
Nice.

Pete Mockaitis
You probably know what that is, whereas, I didn’t. And for those listening, this is a pushup but your feet are not on the ground. They are hovering in the air. You’re basically flying by using your arms. I thought it was so cool and I just wanted to do that. But it sounds like it’s going to be a long road, Dan. Is that fair to say?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, you gotta start somewhere, right?

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that’s cool. Well, we’re talking about Positive Chaos. Tell us, what is the scoop here with your latest book?

Dan Thurmon
Well, I was really excited about this book because the idea is that chaos is ever increasing, it’s all around us, it’s the word we hear coming up constantly, generally used to disrupt people, to make them dispirited or to feel like they have no control over their life, when, in fact, it’s true in some sense. There is greater uncertainty and greater opportunities.

And the divergent possibilities of how the future will unfold are exponentially increasing as a result of the openness of our systems and our technology, but you can use that to your advantage. It could be a great thing and it really is a chance, not only for you to be more awesome at your job, but also to help others because, let me tell you, we did some research about how chaos is hitting people right now, and it’s not good.

People are really struggling in many ways, and one out of four American workers think about quitting at least once a day. And that’s just their job. That doesn’t even get into anxiety and depression, and concern for loved ones, and even suicidal ideation. So, people need a tool to change their mindset and their skills around uncertainty, and that’s what this book is all about.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, go ahead, paint a picture. We can hear the darkness, Dan. What is the state of play here in terms of chaos and how we are dealing?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah. So, anxiety is off the charts, depression. You could sense this all around you, and disengagement, perhaps not with this audience who understands self-improvement and motivation and determination, but in the people around you perhaps, that comes down to the economy, fear. Financial concern is the number one type of chaos people are thinking about. And concern for others, concern for the people they really care about. Six percent of working Americans think about suicide at least once every day, which is just crazy when you think for every 100 people in the workforce, six of them are having these thoughts.

And so, I think the opportunity and the obligation for all of us is to recognize we need to be better encouragers of one another and help each other through this time because you never exactly know who those people may be. And so, don’t underestimate your own influence and the impact that you can make on those around you.

Because chaos is nothing more than that determined effort where it intersects uncertainty and randomness. But if you look at the future not as uncertain, but as unfolding in just new and interesting ways, you can be really curious about that and very much in control. And so, what I do in the book is also go into what chaos really is, chaos theory.

I don’t know if you know, but in 1962, Edward Norton Lorenz was trying to predict the weather, and he realized he couldn’t because little variable that he could not measure would amplify over time in enormous ways, and that’s mathematical chaos. He called it the Butterfly Effect, the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings could, theoretically, start a hurricane hundreds of miles away. And this became a very catchy phenomenon, this idea that little things change everything in big ways.

And so, the idea of going on offense and with positive chaos is that your inputs, your words, your actions, your intentional efforts, your interactions with others, will also amplify in enormous ways that you can’t even predict. So, we have an intention and a determination but the ripple effects of what you do and say is going to amplify probably more than it ever has before. So, owning that is a big, big part of this book, and I think of what’s really critical right now.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so then we’ve seen the dark side of our relationship with uncertainty and the positive pictures that it’s unfolding. That’s sort of interesting and we’re curious about that, okay. Well, tell us, how can we get there?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, so when you think about chaos and the word itself, I break it into an acronym that people can kind of think about. A couple more quick statistics for you. Seventy-six percent of working Americans think chaos shortens people’s lives, 79% think it leads to mental health challenges, 81% of working Americans believe that being able to handle chaos well should be a requirement for all their leaders, and they really value that.

Even though money is such a big concern for everyone in their financial picture, especially in this economy, it’s like they would rather make less. Seventy percent of working Americans would rather make 10% less but work for someone who could handle chaos well. And so, how do you do that? In the book, I break it into three sections.

The first is to recognize things in a different way to be able to see the patterns that are at work in your life, in your business, in the world around you a little bit differently. And then you can learn to respond in a new way. And then you can realize different results over time in huge ways. But the response is critical, and it goes to that acronym for the word chaos. The negative aspect is challenging, hectic, anxious, overwhelming, stress.

Now, this is where most people are living right now, things are hard, things are moving too fast, they feel hecticness, an anxiety, which is the negative projection about the future. They’re fearful about what’s happening and they feel overwhelmed because it’s just too much, and it’s all on them, and they’re pulled apart by this stress that they live with, makes it hard to sleep, makes it hard to work, and hard to be awesome.

But when we take control over those, over our response system, and we can see things in new ways, and recognize patterns, then we could change that. And so, the acronym, or the five transformations that I suggest and teach in the center section of the book take you to a different version, which is challenging, healthy, aspiring, ongoing, synergy.

So, it is hard, it’s going to be hard, but we self-prescribe intentional challenges. We ask for a course of learning. We learn things that are more difficult, and recognize, even though we can’t understand how everything will play out, we can create more certainty by determining we’re going to get better in specific ways.

And so, that intentional challenge is the first part. The second part is we move from hectic, which is just racing against life and pace and trying to fill every second, to a more healthy way to look at things, which is to understand we, first of all, need to prioritize health – mental health, physical health, and also find the space between the throws and catches.

I’m a juggler, okay? And so, just like Michael Gelb, who’s one of your recent guests, I learned to juggle and I found a huge amazing resource in my life for channeling my energy, for starting a business, paying my way through college, getting a business degree, and, ultimately, personal improvement, self-help, and really how do you develop a skill, what is learning, what is practice, all these things.

And, for me, juggling was also a great way to understand this concept of patterns, of how everything fits together, different challenges require new patterns, and complexity when you add something new, you really create an exponential version of something more difficult. But what you learn is, like, even if there’s five or seven objects in the air at once, there’s space between the throws and catches.

And part of moving from hectic to healthy is understanding you can’t race life, you can’t ever outrun the pace of change because it will always accelerate, but what we can do is create that space between what you were doing, what you’re doing next, what you hear and how you choose to respond. And it’s in that space that you become a greater instrument for self-intended direction and responsiveness. So, that’s hectic to healthy.

Aspiring is really a positive version of the future. So, rather than anxiety and being fixated on the potential negative aspects, which may or may not play out, we look at what’s getting better, what we want to improve in our life, the things, again, not just you’re choosing to develop in terms of skills, but what you stand for and what you value.

And when you focus on that, you’ll see it all around you in new ways, and it becomes an intentional focus. And the key is both things can be true at the same time. It’s like when I teach my whole audience how to balance peacock feathers. This is an exercise I do in my keynotes. I first have them do it while trying to look at their hand, which is nearly impossible. You can try this at home right now or in your car if you’re stopped. I know you don’t have a peacock feather but any long large object will do.

If you’re looking down, you can’t have any sense of prediction or control, but if you look at the top, immediately you know what’s going on. And so, it’s that change of perspective, both things can be true, we choose to see what’s aspiring. And then overwhelming to ongoing, it’s really important, Pete, because it recognizes that life is a series of repetitive patterns.

What you’re dealing with now, even though we may think of it as an unprecedented challenge, or a new role at work, or a new job task, it’s probably just another version of something you’ve dealt with in the past in some way. Finding those commonalities and those connections will help you to leverage into a measure of competence, like before you even try it.

And, also, this has to do with negative patterns or the things that we postpone learning or addressing in our own lives, relative to behaviors, or situations, relationship conflict, etc. If you just hit the snooze button on those things, they’ll just keep coming back in bigger and bigger ways. And so, we need to change that by moving into an ongoing approach to improvement.

And then you begin to see how it all fits together, and that’s where stress becomes synergy, and you see the connectedness of how, really, kind of everything affects everything all the time.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s cool in that, yes, indeed, the same uncertainty we can internalize and experience completely differently. And I’ve been doing some of my own reflection in terms of when it comes to fear and excitement, physiologically it can be quite similar in terms of how like you’re breathing, what your palms are doing, like going up for a speech. It’s like, “Ooh,” some people say, “Oh, I’m so excited.” Some people say, “I’m so scared,” even though, physiologically, what’s going on in their bodies can be pretty darn similar but they’ve interpreted it differently.

Or, some folks would say, “Oh, I’m so bored. There’s nothing to do,” versus others might say, “Oh, I’m so content and peaceful here. I don’t have to do anything. It’s awesome.” So, what fascinates me is that sometimes the same stimulus on a different day, I will experience totally differently. Like, “Oh, I’m going to be interviewing four people today. That’s so awesome. I’m going to do so much learning and discovery and adventure,” versus, like, “Oh, my gosh, I’ve got too much work. I’ve got all this stuff back-to-back, and now I’ve got four people I’m interviewing today.”

So, it’s just fascinating that we humans are such enigmatic creatures that this could be the case. What’s up with this, Dan? Solve it for us.

Dan Thurmon
Well, we can always find something to complain about, and it’s really one of the prerequisites for this positive mindset. It seems like passé these days to say, “I’m a positive person,” or, “I default toward looking on the bright side of things.” That almost seems cliché in, like, an embarrassing way because sarcasm and negativity has become such a part of acceptable culture, and it’s almost like when people get together, that’s how they relate, is we talk about what we can both agree is crappy.

And to say what’s wonderful in the world, you come off as kind of like a freak of nature sometimes. But this whole idea of being a victim is one of those aspects you need to let go. Talk about the price of positive, like if you really want to engage this mindset and change life and change others for the better, you have to let go of negative people, you have to choose not to take the bait when people try to pull you into those negative conversations.

And sometimes that means, like, relationships, you need to kind of distance yourself and be the model for a different way, and that means sometimes others will draw away from you. And then this whole notion of victimhood because, yeah, things can be horribly awful and tragic, and yet in the middle of that, you can find amazing joy and discovery and knowledge and growth. And you might not see it right away, but if you open yourself to that possibility, you’ll get through it so much more quickly. So, yeah, that is our nature, is to look down.

It’s also part of our physiology. It’s part of that protective instinct to guard against potential threats in our world, which could cause us physical harm, or take away our source of food, or our source of intimacy and relationships. So, we do have that natural tendency. That’s part of our physiology, not just our personalities.

Pete Mockaitis
And I’d also love to get your take in terms of just day-to-day, what are the practices, either immediately in the heat of the moment, or just sort of ongoing each day that we can conduct so that we are more frequently engaging the chaos in a pleasant positive way as oppose to, “Ugh, I’m freaking out” kind of a way?

Dan Thurmon
Freaking out, right? Well, what you should be thinking about is complexity and stability. And so, a more stable system will be able to endure some change and some threats and some flexibility. So, wherever you get stability in your life, double down on that. So, that could be physical health, it could be a spiritual practice, great relationships with family and friends, the people you surround yourself with. Really lock down your source of, like, the go-to place to get centered and stable and connected in your life.

Then you also need to look at the complexities of life in a few different ways. Simplify where you can. Like, wherever you can remove unnecessary complexity, like that’s probably a good thing. So, if there are some commitments you can let go of, now is probably a good time and create some space in your life to say no to some things that, as a default, you typically would accept. Do it in a loving way, do it in a kind way, etc. but create some space and some simplicity, and find better ways.

Always look at your systems of how you operate or the things that we do, and say, “Is there an easier way? Is there an easier way to make this happen?” With technology, there typically is. There’s a lot of ways we can remove complexity. But then some of the complexity is necessary because our lives are complex, problems are complex, and so necessary complexity is really important because you can create more chaos by trying to oversimplify something that’s not that simple.

And so, if you’re going into a business venture, or you’re starting a new job, or you’re trying to solve a really complex problem, but your only options are this or that, and you think it’s going to be simple, yeah, you’re going to learn really quickly that that’s not the right answer. And that’s what people do with really big issues.

In the book, I have a case study, for example, about violence in schools, gun violence, school shootings, which people will typically, in conversation, just break it down to one issue or another issue, and the reality is it’s incredibly complex. And one of my clients, Navigate360, the CEO is actually really addressing this problem and making incredible strides, but it’s very complex because it involves, like, how do you approach, yes, a smart conversation around gun policy.

But also, like, early intervention and identifying the possibility of people in your school that might be at risk in de-stigmatizing mental illness and creating a sense of stability through acceptance and a sense of what’s important in kids’ lives, and really going after this in a holistic way. It’s a big deal, right? But there’s a lot of unnecessary complexity that we might choose.

So, complexity we choose are things, like, we say, “I could go this easy way through this process, but I want to make it better, or I want to make it uniquely my own, and so I’m intentionally adding some complexity, and I’m choosing that.” And we choose complexity when we have kids, and when we get married.

I dedicated the book to my wife, I said, “To Shay, my wife, my stability in chaos, and the complexity I choose,” because, hey, marriage is a very complex way to go through life. It creates stability in some sense, but other ways that things are just going to always be more interesting because you involve someone else.

And then the third piece of complexity is the malevolence that really is out there. People who are intentionally trying to disrupt you, to either compete with you in a business sense or in a job sense, but also there are malevolent forces at work who are hacking into our computer systems and destabilizing governments, and trying to steal your money. That’s all out there, too. And so, there’s just a lot to think through but it’s helpful to compartmentalize that complexity.

And then, also, look for the patterns because you might not realize you’ve been going through the same thing over and over in your life, whether it’s a relationship issue, or a job challenge, or professional challenge, or money, how you handle money. And those things will come back bigger each time if you don’t address them the right way, or if you don’t address them a new way.

And so, interrupting those patterns is really, really important. If something happens once in your life, it may be an anomaly. If it happens twice, it should get your attention. And if it happens three times, it’s definitely a pattern. And so, it’s either going to keep happening in bigger ways or you have to change it up. You’ve got to say or do something different.

But the key is really to recognize, again, you don’t have to make big, bold, enormous shifts to create a huge difference. Just like with the Butterfly Effect, little things change everything. So, the big question to ask yourself is, “What is the one thing that could possibly change everything?” Relative to your job, if there was one skill you could learn that would change everything about how you contribute, or how you respond, or how you show up, what would that one thing be?

Because we have a tendency to, like, say, “I want to take in everything, the totality of the big picture,” but when we drill it down to the one thing, then we can find something we can really start to do. And for most of us, it’s language, it’s how we use our words, how we talk in our thoughts to ourselves, how we speak to others. Begin to change those little things and you’ll see some big results.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Wow, there’s so much to follow up here. Okay. So, stability and simplification, I’m thinking one piece of resistance folks might have to some of these pursuits is just simply, “Dan, those things are boring. It doesn’t sound fun or entertaining to do that.” How do you respond?

Dan Thurmon
I think you can make it incredibly interesting. So, stability is not predictability, right? It’s not trying to keep change at bay. Again, we’re inviting the chaos, we’re creating positive chaos, but we’re finding a sense of self. And you could find stability just by knowing yourself to a greater degree. What do you love? What do you value? What are your principles, your life mission?” That’s a part of the process of the book is leading you to really get clear on your intentions because those are the things, once you know what that is, those become your inputs, and they amplify in huge ways, and you begin to get so much more opportunity in your life.

So, stability is not, again, it’s not predictability. It is a sense of grounded-ness. Like, physical health, yeah, you’re going to have a more stable life if you can show up to any situation with a bit more energy and with a bit more mental wellbeing, and you’ll also be able to be there for others. So, your stability becomes the tool you can use to help the people around you.

Pete Mockaitis
When you talk about simplifying, can you share some examples of some specific areas of life or work and/or interventions that are just fantastic for simplifying and a lot of us would get a lot of bang for our buck by just going ahead and doing that simplification process?

Dan Thurmon
Sure. So, the idea is less is more, right? And I think we were all kind of forced through a simplification process during COVID, during the pandemic, where our lives were stripped down to the basics. And a lot of what we did, just by default because we’d accumulated all of these habits and routines and extraneous activity in our life, was sort of stripped away to the basics.

And many of us were able to recognize in that moment, if you go back to it, what really worked well and what wasn’t working. And for some of us, that was really painful. It’s like relationships were broken, things were in trouble, and we couldn’t do some of the things we really loved to do. And so, if you think about that, you had a sense of clarity of what really mattered in your life.

And I think a lot of this is happening naturally, Pete, like, people have simplified their lives, and said, “I don’t need to reengage with everything I was doing before. Less is more. And maybe I’m just going to keep it a little bit more basic.” I would also say that when we think about, like, how we work and how we contribute, getting back to the theme of the podcast and how to be awesome, it’s about really showing up and doing your job.

It’s wonderful to understand the synergy and the complexity of what’s all around you, but there’s something, there’s one thing probably you’re really responsible for. And if you take care of that and just nail it, like your value to the entire organization, company, team, to the world maybe, who knows, it just escalates. So, just think about that.

Simplifying is really about prioritizing. And so, if it’s everything, “I want a little bit of everything,” you’re going to always be spread too thin. But if you had to prioritize, what would you put at the top of the list?

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And then when it comes to, you said many of us can get a big return on checking our language, including what we say to ourselves, can you provide some perspective there in terms of what are some problematic self-talk patterns that you’ve encountered? And what are some ways to approach them?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, it really bothers me when people say things like, “I’m so stupid,” or, “I could never handle this,” “I’m always this way. I always make this mistake.” It’s like, in a way, you’re doubling down and reinforcing that pattern as opposed to interrupting it by creating some possibility, like, “I’m still learning this,” or, “I’m working on this,” or, “I’m getting better in this regard.”

If you were to find a way to frame your process and even your struggles as a journey that’s moving forward, then you create that sense of trajectory. Improvement, goals are really important. I’m a big fan and believer in goals, but, really, it’s about momentum. We got to have a sense of forward motion, a trajectory, which is a feeling that things are getting better over time, not every day, but over time my trajectory is going upwards.

And then alignment, that I feel like I’m more and more in alignment with the set of values and principles that, if you’re serious about personal growth and lifelong learning, will continue to come into greater clarity over the course of your life. So, you’re never really done with this. We’re just working toward that goal.

So, I would just be very careful about your language. The other things, just very simply, is people say, “I have to. I have the sense of obligation. I would love to do that but I have to do this.” It seems very innocuous. But saying you have to is a sense of obligation that deprives you from the value of intentionally getting it done.

If you were to say, “I need to,” just that one change from “have to” to “need to,” “Yeah, I need to do this first.” Well, now you’ve recognized “This is important, this is really important. Yes, maybe it’s an obligation of my job but my job is important to me.” “It’s an obligation of my relationship. I have to see my parents.” But, no, “I need to see my parents because I value them and I love them.” So, you get credit for doing the right thing as opposed to an obligation, “I have to” where you’re just kind of like at the mercy of your life, and at the mercy of your calendar.

And then the next level even above that is “get to.” So, if you were to say “I get to go to work today,” even higher than “I have to…” “I need to…” Hey, a lot of people don’t have a job, a lot of people don’t have a sense of purpose, a lot of people don’t have loved ones they get to visit, or people they get to provide for, or sacrifices they get to make to demonstrate what’s important to them in their life.

And so, these are small subtle ways that you can change your language and your internal thoughts and also change your perspective of your external world which changes everything.

Pete Mockaitis
I like that a lot. And I think “need to” is a nice little bridge because sometimes “get to,” I’ve tried that and sometimes it’s like, “Pete, I’m just not buying it. I know what you’re trying to do here, brain, but I’m still not looking forward to that thing.” But “need to” is like, “Okay, yeah, we acknowledge this a value, this is important, and, thus, need to feels fair.”

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, and also it might be a commitment, “So, I need to do this because I said I would. And I’m the type of person that follows through on commitments.” And so, all of that just builds reinforcement of your values, your principles, and helps you to move through life in that way.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And so then, if you do catch yourself in a thought, just like, “Oh, this is such bull crap. I can’t believe they’re doing this to me. They should appreciate my efforts, blah, blah, blah,” or, “Oh, man, I’ve screwed it up again. I’m never going to be able to…” so, whatever. You’re in the stuff, you’re thinking it. What’s the best approach? Do you want to play police officer to your brain, like, “Halt! No, no, no”? Or, how do you talk yourself through those moments?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, that would be a great example of where you recognize a pattern. So, is that something that happens frequently or is it an occasional thing? And if you see yourself going down that road, you’re probably not in a good state of mind to make a decision. So, you have to interrupt the pattern, and you could do that in a number of different ways. You can’t just disengage from the situation. Go for a walk. You can find things that will uplift you.

And the best way to know what will help you become more resourceful through those moments is to not find them when you’re frustrated or when you’re struggling, but to basically acknowledge them when you’re doing well. So, when you’re not in that state, when things are rocking, and you’re feeling strong and life seems easy to you, that’s when you go, “Okay, what am I doing here? Like, what am I thinking? Who am I around at this moment? What did I just do to prepare for this physically, mentally, whatever?”

And then those become your go-to’s when you’re back in that unresourceful state, and you’re like, “Okay, crap. This is not good. This is stinking thinking. I need to get out of this.” Or, you can indulge it because that feels good for a while, if that serves you, but just recognize, like, the longer you stay there, the longer you’re preventing yourself from getting out of it, and that you’re also reinforcing that pattern.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, Dan, tell me, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, so in this whole world of how you can become a better influencer and the little things that really can change things in big ways, one of those I really wanted to mention is how you can activate the people around you. When you see others, again, understand a lot of people are really struggling right now, and we can help them only by naming their strengths, by basically telling them what we admire about them, or what they’ve done well.

And just think about that as almost like a superpower that you have to flip a switch inside someone that makes them want to do that more. I remember all the great mentors in my life, all the great leadership opportunities in my life, from my earliest days when I started performing to leadership positions within the National Speakers Association, or bigger opportunities with new clients, etc. Other people generally saw those things in me before I saw them in myself, and they named them. They were like, “Dan, I could see you in this role.” I was like, “Really? You think I could do that?”

And so, right now you might be thinking about people who did that for you. Understand this is a power that you have. So, just by going through your day with a little bit more awareness of the people around you, in saying, “Pete, you’re an awesome listener. You’re a great podcast host. I really have enjoyed listening to the episodes. Amazing.”

Or, Stephanie, who’s in the studio with us, “Stephanie is an incredible teammate of mine. She keeps me on schedule. Incredibly focused.” Like, those little things activate those qualities at a much higher level, and you help people kind of spiral up and get to the next level.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, now could you share with us a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Dan Thurmon
Sure. Okay, I’m sticking with the theme here. From Mother Teresa, she said, “We cannot all do great things but we can all do small things with great love.” That’s one of my wife’s favorites. So, in her honor, I thought I’d share that one.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Dan Thurmon
Well, the research, if you’ll indulge me, I would mention the impact of chaos study on the American workforce, which is DanThurmon.com/research. And that is something I’m going to quote quite a bit because it’s not just about the things that are wrong, but it’s, like, 10 insights that we can use both as individuals and as leaders, and here’s how to help make that work for you. So, go to that study.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite book?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, I have so many favorite books but the one that I decided to share is Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. This is something I keep going back to and listening to. It has an audiobook in his own voice. And one of my favorite things to do is ride my mountain unicycle through the woods, listening to Eckhart Tolle.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay.

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, that’s my own weirdness but it’s one of those skills I’ve kept alive. And so, unicycling for me is like the ultimate meditation, especially when you’re in the woods.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite tool?

Dan Thurmon
Right here, man, the Thera Cane. Do you know the Thera Cane?

Pete Mockaitis
I’ve seen one before but I didn’t know what it’s for.

Dan Thurmon
So, if you’re listening to the podcast, it’s a big hook. It’s a cane with handles on it at the bottom and knobs on the top, and it’s for self-massage. So, as an aging acrobat and gymnast who’s always getting ready for shows, what it helps you do is to really get into those deep cracks and the tensed muscles in your neck and back and hips, and loosen them up without a lot of extra effort. I have one of these in every one of my cases, in my office, at my house, in my car. I love it.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, I feel like I can talk 20 minutes about the Thera Cane alone. Maybe I need them to send me a product, as a podcast. So, the idea is you sort of like put pressure on a stiff tight sore point on your shoulder or body, and then it makes it better?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, exactly. If you’ve ever had, like, a stiff shoulder, and you try to work it out but you’re working it out with your other hand, so you’re rubbing on it, it takes a lot of effort and energy.

Pete Mockaitis
It’s a little hard to reach.

Dan Thurmon
You’re working on the other one, this gives you leverage. So, it’s like a crowbar for your back and it flexes a little bit.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, you could use it with two hands instead of one.

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, exactly. And you just kind of work it into that muscle. You could do the hips. You use these knobs on the side for the legs. Yeah, it’s amazing.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, I love it.

Dan Thurmon
I make no money on this, by the way, the Thera Cane.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I appreciate. Well, sometimes I ask a favorite tool, folks would be like, “Oh, my iPhone,” or, “Google Sheets.” I was like, “Okay, yeah, those are pretty good tools.” Like, Thera Cane, first time ever, Dan. I appreciate it.

Dan Thurmon
I had to be different.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite habit?

Dan Thurmon
Sure. So, for me, exercise and practice is every day. I do a thousand catches with juggling every single day, which sounds like a lot but it takes like five minutes with five balls if I don’t drop. But if I do drop, I have to start over. I also do hot yoga, other things for exercise, but I would say the biggest habit for me that’s been very productive is every week I do a weekly coaching video.

They’re short, they’re like two and a half minutes, really well-written and produced from wherever I am in the world, and I just give it away for free on my blog and my LinkedIn channel and everywhere else we do social media. But it’s like this creative commitment to keep me on the hook to creating new content.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget that you share, maybe in one of these publications, that really connects and resonates with folks?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, sure. So, I try to get something of a nugget in every week that’s meaningful but the biggest ones from my keynote, I’ll give you two. One is, “If you limit yourself to what’s comfortable, you deny yourself what’s possible.” And the second one is, “If you think what you’re doing now is difficult, it’s time to try something harder.”

And that goes back to a story of learning to juggle, going to four, learning a whole new pattern with four, and then struggling with four. As I was doing that, struggling with four balls, my three-ball juggling was getting really easy, and I never got the hang of four until I tried five. So, if you think what you’re doing now is difficult, try something harder.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Dan Thurmon
DanThurmon.com, Thurmon with an O, so it’s T-H-U-R-M-O-N.com.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Dan Thurmon
Yeah, I think I’ll go back to kind of where we started, is don’t ever assume that someone else is okay, or that they understand their own strength or what makes them unique. Go out of your way and tell them and acknowledge that, and you’re going to change their life in a big way.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Dan, this has been a treat. Thanks, and keep on rocking.

820: How to Embrace Tensions for Better Decision-Making with Marianne Lewis

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Marianne Lewis shows how to turn tensions into opportunities for growth.

You’ll Learn:

  1. Why to never ask yourself “Should I…?” 
  2. How to find and benefit from the yin and yang of everything
  3. The three steps for better decision-making 

About Marianne

Marianne W. Lewis is dean and professor of management at the Lindner College of Business, University of Cincinnati. She previously served as dean of Cass (recently renamed Bayes) Business School at City, University of London, and as a Fulbright scholar. A thought leader in organizational paradoxes, she explores tensions and competing demands surrounding leadership and innovation.

Lewis has been recognized among the world’s most-cited researchers in her field (Web of Science) and received the Paper of the Year award (2000) and Decade Award (2021) from the Academy of Management Review. She enjoys her three children and two grandchildren from her home base in Cincinnati. 

Resources Mentioned

Marianne Lewis Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Marianne, welcome to How to be Awesome at Your Job.

Marianne Lewis
Oh, thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m excited to dig into your wisdom. We’re talking about Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems. I like so much those words. So, can you kick us off with maybe a particularly surprising or counterintuitive discovery you’ve made about problem-solving from all of your research and teaching here?

Marianne Lewis
Pete, I’ve been studying tensions, competing demands, that tug-of-war we feel in our hearts, whether it’s dealing with strategy, dealing with our lives, dealing with teams, for about 25 years. And I think the big aha and the reason I spent two-plus decades doing this was early in my career when I realized that our default is to this either/or thinking, that we get into this challenge, and we say, “Geez, do I spend my energy on work or life? Do I think about my performing and hitting my current targets or do I need to step back and learn and look around?”

And in this either/or approach, we weigh the pros and cons of these two sides and we make a choice and we think we can move on. Sometimes that can work if these are really simplistic issues but most times, either/or thinking is really limiting. It’s, “Are we really limited to only two?” Or, worse, when you start to kind of play that out, you go down this rabbit hole of saying, “Well, wait a minute, if I put all my energy into hitting my current targets, that would be great. I would excel, I would have lots to show on my resume, I would’ve proven my worth. But then life could change around me and I wouldn’t be ready. I’d be flatfooted.”

“But if all I did was…” So, let’s go to the other one, “If I really focus on learning, and I’m in higher-ed and I love learning, but if that was all I did, would I really make an impact? Would I make sure I’m applying what I’m learning in process?” And so, you get into this, you get stuck because what you really need is you need both. And so, what my work originally kind of focused on and the aha was we’re limited in our thinking, in our default. The good news is there’s a better way.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, that is good news. And so, if that is our default, I imagine it’d be quite possible that we’re doing it and we don’t even notice that we’re doing it. That’s what often happens with defaults.

Marianne Lewis
That it’s really automatic.

Pete Mockaitis
So, could you maybe give us a few rapid-fire examples to shake us out of it a little bit? It’s like, “Here’s what I mean by both/and versus either/or, and just notice that there might be more to things than first meets the eye.”

Marianne Lewis
Yeah, I’ll give you a classic example. We talked to people who’ll say, “Boy, I’m not crazy about the work I’m doing right now. So, do I stay or do I go?” And you’re kind of seeing a little clash as you’re thinking about that. But, again, you don’t really have to decide black and white, “Do I stay or do I leave this job?” You could also say, the both/and approach is, “Well, what do I like about what I do? What do I not like about what I do? Are there ways that I could either, personally and/or with my supervisor, talk about I need more of this and less of this? And how do I have those kinds of conversations?”

Or, vice versa, if I say, “Boy, what I don’t have this in job is what I’m starting to realize is what I truly want in life.” Well, it’s not just then going. It’s getting much sharper about what you want. If not, you’ll be in this grass-is-always-greener. You’ll get there and go, “How did I get…? Wait, this isn’t it either.”
And it’s kind of a constant flipping.

So, to us, both/and is about really diving into both sides of the equation, and saying, “At its best, what does each side bring? And at its worst, if that was all I did, what’s the problem there?” Because it’s through that kind of thinking you realize, “Okay, I could get more creative here.” And now it’s not a stay or go. It’s, “Let’s really dig into what do I want in my work.”

So, I use that example, Pete, because I think we’ve had, in some ways, kind of a global existential crisis during the pandemic. We’ve got a lot of people thinking, “Is this really what I want to be doing?” and questioning, and sometimes questioning in two simplified a way of, “Do I just leave?” you know, the Great Resignation. And then you find, I mean, we’re seeing this already in research that the Great Resignation has a lot of people not any happier in their second one because they haven’t thought through that fully what they want and what they don’t.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, thank you, that’s powerful, Marianne. And I was just about to challenge a little bit in terms of, “Well, ultimately, aren’t you either staying or going?” I mean, you could, of course, optimize, and finetune, and change, and have some good conversations about how to improve where you are, although that’s sort of a subset, I would say, if we’re going to nitpick about definitions of staying. But I guess what you’re putting forward here is, just by framing it that way, you’re missing out.

Marianne Lewis
Yeah, I think framing, that’s what…Wendy Smith is my co-author in the book and long-time research colleague. We think framing is hugely important, and it starts with really both/and thinking, starts with changing the kinds of questions we ask. That classic either/or question starts with, typically, a word like “do,” “Do I…?” “Do I stay or go?” versus a more typical both/and question that starts with “how,” “How would I make the most of what I like and where I am? And what am I missing? And how would I find a new combination?” because there are lots of combinations possible.

And you’re right, it still could sound like stay or go, but let me give you a couple of examples because Wendy and I worked with a variety of people who have gone through this one. It could also decide, “Well, maybe what I’m going to do is I’m going to stay for now, and I’m going to build a three- to six-month plan so that leaving means a much better view of what do I really need. And how do I leave in a way that doesn’t leave my team in a lurch or feel like I’ve been disloyal?”

If you unpack that stay-or-go challenge, you find that there are lots of other challenges within it that are going to make us lean towards one side or the other, and we’re going to have to deal with those if we’re going to really make a decision that has some lasting power and some creativity to it, for that matter.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s really powerful because I think we could really feel the urgency and the, well, tension associated with, “Oh, well, I need to reach a decision, and, ultimately, these are the only categories that we could fall into.” And, yet, by taking that pathway of either/or, we miss out on surfacing what’s really most important, what are some cool options beyond that, and then how do we get there.

So, I really like that notion of just check yourself if you’re asking a question “Do I…?” as opposed to “How…” that puts you down some different pathway. So, can you expand upon those in terms of what are some either/or-style questions or things to be on the lookout for and their both/and counterparts?

Marianne Lewis
Well, I’ll give you an interesting version of this. Sometimes people can ask, “Do I focus on the financial benefits of my job or the work that I’m doing, like grow the money, grow the profit, grow the margins, or do I focus on the social responsibility, my impact, how do I better the world?” Do you have a business school? I can’t stand that question because they should be synergistic and we’ve seen amazing leaders learn how to do both. But they changed that question to, “How can I grow my profits through social responsibility?”

That was a question posed by Paul Polman when he was turning around Unilever, and his goals were to double the profits while having their environmental footprint, and people said, “You’re crazy. That’s not how it works. The bigger you are the more damage you do.” And he said, “No, we touch two billion consumers a day at Unilever. We can’t afford that.”

And I actually just had an executive in my office who ran Gerber clothing, for children’s clothes, and he said, “Clothing is notorious for being unsustainable. We throw away billions of pounds, let alone tons of wasted clothing.” Unilever and Paul, who’s such a both/and thinker we study and write about him in the book, but this leader was talking about at Gerber, too, is you start to realize, actually, by being sustainable, you reduce wastes, you’re more efficient. By the way, that means you reduce costs which increases profit.

And, by being socially responsible, you have a whole host of customers who say, “I have choices,” and you will have customers say, “I’m going to choose, I would rather choose a firm that’s sustainable.” And, by the way, as we’ve seen from lots of these same firms, we actually have investors who will eventually, and this is happening increasingly, say, “I actually want to invest in more sustainable firms.”

And so, here are these questions of, “Do I focus on the financial and my social responsibilities?” and maybe not as quickly as we like, but it is becoming a moot point. The leaders of Toyota were saying this with quality and costs. In the ‘80s, they practically put the American auto manufacturers out of business because we were sitting there, going, “Oh, no, it doesn’t work that way. The higher the quality, the higher the costs.” And they said, “No, the higher the quality, the lower the rework, the more efficient,” right? And then you see Toyota and Honda take off.

I just gave you two strategic examples but we ask those similar types of questions in our lives, both in our work and our decisions about the work that we do in our own values. And I’d like us to open our minds a bit and reframe, as you said.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, when it comes to our minds, you’ve got an interesting term – the paradox mindset. What is that and how can it help us?

Marianne Lewis
Yeah, a paradox mindset. So, when we think about either/or, we think about tradeoffs. Picture, like, a scale, and you’re doing this weighing between the sides. When we think about a both/and thinking, we put those opposing decisions into a Yin-Yang, which is such a beautiful symbol of paradox. So, if you can picture the Yin-Yang, you have kind of a black-and-white sliver, and so you’ve got two sides to this. But there’s also this dynamic flow between them where you see that they actually define each other. It’s only together that you see this whole of the circle.

And if you can kind of picture the Yin-Yang in your mind, as you move higher into, say, the dark, there’s actually a pin prick of white. And the view is, as you get higher and higher into one side, you actually feel more pull in this ebb and flow into the other. This is night and day. It’s love and hate. It’s trust and distrust, self and other. I’m being more philosophical here, but those play into the way we think about challenges.

Why is a financial responsibility and social responsibility opposites on a scale versus Yin and Yang? And how could they work together more synergistically? So, that was a way of sharing. The reason we use the term paradox is to start to change our views from a tradeoff to this Yin-Yang mindset. And a paradox mindset means two things, we have two dimensions, and we’ve measured this now over thousands of people. It’s in multiple languages.

We started in three. We started in Chinese, Israeli, and then in the US, an American. I guess I did geography. This is where we did the study. But what we found is there are two dimensions. One is some people are more sensitized to see and feel tensions. Now, that could be because you’re in a particularly stressful conflict-laden time so there are a lot of tensions around you, and it can be you’re somebody like me who sees them in their sleep. I pick them out very quickly. And the more you practice paradox thinking, actually, the more sensitized you become regardless of your work.

So, there’s the, “How much do you experience and see tensions.” And then the other side is, “How much, when you see them, do you see tensions as just a problem to either ignore, work through, and move quickly? Or, do you see them as an opportunity that in that tension there is this creative friction and an opportunity to learn, innovate, grow?”

What we found is people who have this paradox mindset, they see tensions as opportunities, they think about them as this Yin-Yang, are much more likely, according to their supervisors, to be more productive and more creative, and, according to themselves, to be more happy, to be more satisfied. So, what we’re finding with the paradox mindset is, especially if you’re dealing with tensions, that ability to move into them, seeing opportunity, benefits for learning, and working toward a both/and, will pay off in really powerful ways for you as an individual and probably for your organization given those benefits.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, could you give us several examples of individuals who, they saw some tensions and then they considered them with a both/and perspective, or paradox mindset, and cool things emerged as a result?

Marianne Lewis
Yeah, I’ll give you a few of some leaders that I’ve enjoyed studying over the years. Muhtar Kent is fascinating. He was the CEO and chairman of Coca-Cola, which is an interesting example because one of the tensions we see quite a bit is global versus local. And you could think about this also as kind of centralized/decentralized is another way to think about it. But Coca-Cola is actually the best-known image in the world, even better than Mickey Mouse. People just know the red can anywhere.

So, you have this huge global reach and scale. Scale provides you incredible opportunities, really well-coordinated impact, reach, etc., and you’re talking about Coca-Cola. You’re talking about something you drink, taste, as differentiated locally as imaginable. And so, Coca-Cola, and particularly Muhtar, would always say, “Look, we have to be the best-known global brand, and leverage that scale, and have this tremendous value appreciation tapping into those local differences as possible. We have to be both if we are truly going to be a global brand.”

And if you go to the Coca-Cola museum in Atlanta, you will see they have lots of variations based on local differentiation of taste. So, even as a global brand, it also has local differences. Even that it has a global reach and scale of like the Walmarts and Amazons of the world, they also are really good at tapping into very local supply chains, retailers, because, depending on where you’re going, sometimes big boxes, let alone Amazon, they’re not there. So, that’s just a different kind of view of the global/local.

Another one I would share is a fun discussion I’ve had recently with Rocketbook. We wrote about it in Fast Company. But Rocketbook is dealing, like everybody else, with hybrid work, what do you do home versus away. And one of the reasons we started working on this with Fast Company, and we ended up going at Rocketbook, is that people might think that hybrid work is a win-win, but most often, it’s actually experienced as a lose-lose because you’ve lost the boundaries between work and home.

So, you go into work and you’re sitting on Zoom calls. That doesn’t exactly feel like a value to me. You’ve just on the commute and everything else. Or, you’re at home and you still got all of life and home, family, other things distracting and challenge around you, and you’re feeling like you’re really not at your best in either location.

So, talking with Jake and Joe, the co-founders of Rocketbook, Rocketbook does sustainable notebooks. They do reusable notebooks. It’s a really cool technology. I highly recommend it. They said, “Pre-pandemic, we were already hybrid.” And I said, “Well, why?” And they said, “Because we believe in the power of work-at-home, or work-non-office, as deep work, that work that you really need solitude, focus.” And they have a lot of designers, engineers, and they said, “We want them to have that opportunity to be at their best selves.”

And, on the other hand, we knew, and we still believe this wholly, that the best creativity will always happen around a table with a whiteboard, with all these, and that takes in the office. And so, because they had already believed in the power of hybrid work, they came out of COVID really strong because they kind of perfected why you come in, when you come in, how you come in, and when you would work at home.

And they learned this creative way to be both/and, to think about those synergies in ways that made people keep the differences, value separation, they used lots of cool ways to use technologies that we all use, like Outlook and other platforms, to respect people’s deep-work time and, while they’re at home, also have times that you say, “Now, I’m going grocery shopping.” They really got creative in how they use both.

But I think that’s a very different way than a lot of firms saying, “Is it three days or two days?” There’s a very basic approach to hybrid that isn’t how are you deeply making the most of the time together and the time apart. So, I would note those two because I love both options, and I think we’ve lived them in our lives, not just at an organization level.

Pete Mockaitis
Intriguing. So, the Rocketbook parameters then, for whether you work from home or from the office on a given day, is not just blanket two days, three days, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, but rather, “What is the nature of what you’re working on, and then, please, freely come into the office so we can do that better, or stay at home so you can do that better?”

Marianne Lewis
Yeah. And the other way I would say that, Pete, is we talk about in the book one of the key assumptions to moving to the both/and mindset is moving from thinking about your resources as scarce to abundant, and that an abundant mindset matters. And so, it was interesting talking to the folks at Rocketbook because time is a classic resource.

And so, you could say, “Well, yeah, but there are only 24 hours in the day, or eight hours in a workday,” whatever. And what Jake and Joe would say is, “Yeah, but every hour isn’t created equally.” Like, I’m a morning person, I like it super early, okay, then I’m going to work from 5:00 till 10:00. It’s going to be my deep-work time. I don’t want to be bothered from 5:00 till 10:00. But I want you to know I’m on it. And, by the way, I’m then going to take a break because I’m going to be really low, and then I’m going to come in for a few hours.

And so, they figured out ways to make that, and then, at the same time, they have people who are super late-night owls and they’ll even have office times, like at 11:00 o’clock. But my point with the abundance mindset is it’s not that they’re using more time or less time. They’re using time better, and they’re using it in a way, to your point about, yes, it’s the home versus work, but it’s also time that they’re playing with, to say, “What is the kind of work you’re trying to do? When are you at your best?” versus, “When do we get people together, whether it’s on Zoom or in the office?”

It’s a more nuanced approach than the, “Is it three days or two days? And, by the way, is it 8:00 to 5:00?” And I like that. I think that really is empowering to people.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. That’s cool. Well, tell me, Marianne, anything else you want to make sure to mention, any top do’s or don’ts about both/and thinking or embracing creative tensions we should cover before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Marianne Lewis
I think I would just, as a key takeaway, and, obviously you can do dive deeper in the book, we talk about kind of three key steps. You need to change the question you ask from this either/or to an “and,” “How do I accommodate my opposing, my competing demands?” The second piece is, instead of just weighing the pros and cons, and we say, “You need to separate and connect. You need to pull apart that Yin-Yang, think about really what you value on both sides, and then think about how you’re going to hold it together with a higher vision and some key guides.”

And then the third piece is you start to change the way you think about your solutions. Because, again, with either/or, the end result is a single choice. But with a paradox, when you’re dealing with these kinds of tensions, they don’t really go away. I might decide today between work and home, but I’ll have to decide again tomorrow, or I may have to decide between, “Am I really going to focus on current targets or learning for the future? But I’ll have to make that decision again.”

So, we think about one of the most kind of key decision-making modes that we see of people who are really good at both/and thinking, is think about it as tight-rope walking. You’re continuing to move forward but you’re making these kinds of micro decisions on an ongoing basis between challenges, between work or home, between social and financial, between learning and performing, between self and others, where your focus is.

But you don’t let yourself lean so far to one side that you fall because that’s really hard to get back up, and it takes some intention to know that you are holding them together. You need both elements and you’re moving forward. So, I do think that’s key to think about kind of three steps, in some ways.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Thank you. Well, now could you share with us a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Marianne Lewis
A quote that Wendy and I often return to was by Paul Watzlawick and his colleagues at Stanford, they’re psychologists. And the quote is, “The problem is not the problem. The problem is the way we think about the problem.” And, to me, that’s key to this decision-making. It’s actually the way we thought about the problem has limited our solutions.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And could you share a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Marianne Lewis
I think my favorite study was by Rothenberg. It was in 1979, I think, and Rothenberg was studying creative geniuses. He was studying Picasso, Mozart, Einstein, Virginia Woolf, and he was reading all their journals and different things. And what he’s finding was that the genius of these creative individuals came from valuing tensions, seeing them as opportunities; Picasso seeing light and dark; Einstein seeing things in movement and in rest; Virginia Woolf, it was life and death; Mozart was harmony and discord. He called it Janusian Thinking.

That was Rothenberg’s kind of finding. Janus was this two-faced god, looking in two directions simultaneously. But his point was that these creative geniuses found real value in the tensions. They sought conflicts for their greatest works, and I think that is a huge takeaway of instead of viewing these as problems, as in things that we want to avoid, work through as fast as possible, we should seek them out because they have potential, fodder, fuel, for really great creative opportunities.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite book?

Marianne Lewis
I think my favorite book is probably The Tao of Physics by Frank Capra. This is just a fascinating book. It goes back to Einstein. I really think Einstein and all the individuals that developed quantum physics were in this paradox mindset in a way that was really cool. But The Tao of Physics basically talked about how they turn to Taoism and insights from the Yin-Yang and ancient philosophy because they were literally thinking, “I’m going to go crazy because I don’t understand how something can be a particle and a wave. Which one is it? How can something be in motion or at rest?”

It was just one of those books. I kind of like a book that makes my head hurt sometimes because it’s really straining, and, at the same time, it’s kind of beautiful. And you realize, “Well, yeah, it was rocket science, it was quantum physics.” They went through some very simple powerful philosophy to get through it, keep themselves sane, but also get to a solution that was really remarkable with quantum physics.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And a favorite tool, something you use to be awesome at your job?

Marianne Lewis
Probably my favorite tool is the Polarity Map by Barry Johnson. It’s this really cool, simple approach to when you have a tension, a conflict, competing demands. You put it on this two-by-two grid. And on the one side, you put the highs and lows of that side, like, say, “I love a leadership. I’m a leader and I love to be innovative but I also like to be really disciplined.” Well, at your best, what does your innovative self look like? At its worst, if that’s all you did, like you’re really risky. And then, at the same time, you do, “At my disciplined best, and my disciplined worst, am I a real pain?”

And the point of Barry’s Polarity Map is, “How do you stay in the top two quadrants? How do you let the tight-rope walking? You’re probably not disciplined and innovative at the same time but you’re iterating between the two. And how do you avoid going down into the depths of the negative?” But I love the Polarity Map. It’s just a great tool.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite habit?

Marianne Lewis
I’m not always good at this but I think meditation is a really powerful habit because I think our minds can get in our way, and meditation is just a powerful practice to just kind of clear out the mess and have some calm so that we might not jump so automatically to a place that isn’t always in our best interest, and listen to the voices that might be taking us the wrong direction in our heads.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks; they quote it back to you often?

Marianne Lewis
I think a key nugget is probably just the power of a paradox mindset, to say, at our best, let’s not get stuck in these vicious cycles of either/or thinking, which we think of as rabbit holes, wrecking balls, interfere, and really look for more creative lasting solutions. And that’s what I’m hoping our work is doing, taking it out of a more academic realm and thinking more about people’s lives and how do you deal with the tensions because they are human. That is what the world we live in, and it’s natural. But I also think tensions are beneficial.

Pete Mockaitis
And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Marianne Lewis
I’d point them to BothAndThinking.net. They can find out more about the work we’ve done in media, more about the book, other places to hear and see us, but, also, there are lots of places you can buy it, and so we just try to put it at one-stop-shop over there.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Marianne Lewis
Boy, I think this is a challenging time. I think a lot of people are stepping back and kind of saying, “What do I want?” I hope people use both/and thinking to make those decisions because I know we can feel we want impact. We want meaning. We also want flexibility and finances. We want a lot of things from our jobs that can feel like they’re pulling in us in opposite directions. I think this is the time to be more creative and think differently about what we really want and need out of our jobs.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Thank you, Marianne. I wish you much luck and cool results from both/and thinking.

Marianne Lewis
Thank you. I wish you all the best, Pete. Thank you for this podcast.

817: How to Navigate Complexity and Win with Jennifer Garvey Berger

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Jennifer Garvey Berger shares how we can all tap into our natural capabilities to overcome the challenges of complexity.

You’ll Learn:

  1. How uncertainty affects your nervous system
  2. The secret to boosting your nervous system
  3. How laughter helps you be more awesome 

About Jennifer

Jennifer Garvey Berger is Chief Cultivating Officer and Founder of Cultivating Leadership, a consultancy that serves executives and executive teams in the private, non-profit, and government sectors. Her clients include Google, Microsoft, Novartis, Wikipedia, and Oxfam International. She is the author of Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps: Changing on the Job: Developing Leaders for a Complex World. 

Resources Mentioned

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Jennifer Garvey Berger Interview Transcript

Pete Mockaitis
Jennifer, welcome to How to be Awesome at Your Job.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Thank you for having me. It’s great to be here.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, it’s great to have you and I appreciate you being up and with us in France. It’s a bit of a different time zone situation. And I understand you’ve lived in New Zealand, England, and France. I’m curious if you’ve picked up any wisdom having lived in different places around the world that us, Yankees, who have not lived outside the US might appreciate.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
You know, we moved to New Zealand in 2006, and one of the first things I noticed is that when you move from a country like the US, where I was born and grew up, to a tiny country in the corner of the world, if you can imagine a world having a corner, New Zealand would be in it, it was just amazing how much New Zealanders were engaged with the whole world because New Zealand itself was a little bit too small to be just engaged with New Zealand. And I found that curiosity about the whole world is very interesting in such a small country so far from everybody else. It taught me to be a little bit more curious, I think.

Pete Mockaitis
That is good. And I’ve been surprised at how, when I talk to people from other countries, they have a knowledge and interest in some of the happenings in sort of in the United States politics, it’s like, “Boy, I don’t think I can name your president or king or prime minister. I don’t think I even know,” shamefully, “what head of state title that you use over there. Excuse me.” And so, yeah, I do feel a little bit sheepish or embarrassed at how there does seem to be an awareness and engagement in a broader circle than just a narrow view of that country itself.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
It was amazing. I used to get into taxicabs and say where I wanted to go, and they would pick my accent, and then they would start asking me detailed questions about American politics. And I’d be like, “Wow, I don’t know the answer to that question. I haven’t even had that question myself. That’s amazing.” That’s amazing. So, yes, the kind of open curiosity about how the rest of the world works is, I think, it’s easier to attain when you’re not the big guy.

Pete Mockaitis
That makes sense. Well, let’s talk about attaining some complexity genius-ness. Your book is called Unleash Your Complexity Genius: Growing Your Inner Capacity to Lead. That sounds like a handy thing to have. But before we get into the depths, could you first share, precisely what do you mean by complexity?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, so complexity is, for many of us, it’s what makes our lives so tiring right now. Complexity is that which has so many intersecting parts, so many interactions from so many places that you can’t figure out what’s going to happen next, no one person can control anything, and the outcomes that come out of it are, they call them, emergent. They can’t be predicted and they are a feature of all of those intersecting lines and relationships and conversations, and all those sorts of things.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Certainly. So, I think a lot of larger organizations seem to have that going for them, or against them, as the case may be in terms of intersecting departments, and responsibilities, and stakeholders, and decision matrices, or processes, and things to be followed. It certainly can be overwhelming, so becoming a genius in this domain sounds very handy.

Could you kick us off by sharing a particularly surprising, or counterintuitive, or extra fascinating discovery you’ve made about this stuff while researching the topic and working with folks in this zone?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
The first idea that I found amazing was that we do have the genius for it. The book I wrote before this one is called Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps, and that book, I researched all the ways we stink at complexity, to be honest, the way our bodies and our brains work against our ability to handle complexity well.

And you talk about the complexity of an office. There’s also the complexity of COVID, there’s the complexity of relationships, there’s the complexity of living in a city right now. Life is really uncertain, unpredictable, and it has lots of these intersecting pieces. And my last book was to try and figure out how are we not good at that. Like, what are the patterns of our not-goodness?

And so, the first question I took on when we were researching this book is “Are there ways we’re really good at this? Are there ways we actually do have a genius for it?” So, the first aha I had was, “Wow, we have so much in us that’s great at handling complexity.” We have so many natural human attributes that when we rely on them, when we lean into them, we can handle complexity with grace and style and creativity and awesomeness.

And the kicker is, it turns out, when we are in a complex situation, our body understands that as a threat and all the awesomeness goes away. So, we’re great at handling complexity until it gets complex, and then we’re not good at it.

Pete Mockaitis
And so, the body, is that sort of like a stress response-type situation going on there, cortisol, etc.?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
That’s exactly right.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
The classic stress response.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And just to triple check that we’re on the same page, we and us in this context just means humanity, human beings?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
That’s what I mean.

Pete Mockaitis
All right.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
All of us. As far as we can tell from the research, this is like a natural thing. My guess is it’s different across populations, but in the research that I came to, uncertainty is actually metabolized by the body as threat. And your body doesn’t know whether you’re feeling uncertain about what the stock market is going to do, or whether you feel uncertain about whether something is going to jump out and eat you. And so, what your body does is it prepares you to be narrowed, to be self-protective, and to run like crazy. None of these things are that useful in complexity.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, so could you give us an example of how, there’s some complexity that shows up, and then we have a stress response that is suboptimal that professionals could relate to?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think we kind of know this when we walk into a meeting and we think we know exactly what the agenda is and what our role is in it, and, suddenly, there are different people in the room or on the teams or Zoom, or whatever, than we expected, and it looks like our job is going to be different than we thought it was going to be in that meeting, and we don’t know what it is.

I’m guessing everybody has some experience of sweaty palms, and shallow breath, and wide eyes trying to figure out, “What am I supposed to do here? How am I supposed to show up here?” And that kind of narrow-minded focus that might actually take us out of the meeting, it might be like people are talking and we hear, “Waah, waah, waah” in the background. We don’t even know what’s going on particularly because we are so…what our body is saying is run. That’s our body’s main message.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s intriguing. Well, Jennifer, I’m encouraged by what you say there with regard to the stress response is natural for all of us when there’s a switcheroo going on, because I’m thinking about the CliftonStrengths assessment, puts adaptability for me, personally, as one of my very bottommost strengths. They don’t use the word weaknesses but I know, like bottommost strengths is adaptability.

And so, when I encounter a switcheroo, I do feel something like, “Huh? What? What’s going on? I thought we were doing this. Well, this is the time that we establish for that, but, apparently, we’re not doing that.” And so, I can get there, I can calm down. I just merely need a moment to process, reassess, like, “Okay, before we were going to do this. However, the contexts have shifted in this way, and now we’re doing that. Okay, kind reorienting, reprogramming, repositioning. All right. So, now, let’s talk about this new thing.”

And sometimes it feels like other people are just like rolling with it, and I’m a little late to the party. But it sounds reassuring that everybody has some kind of a feeling of this when there’s a shift-up going on.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Oh, I think so. I think so. And whatever the size shift is that changes our reactions, there’s research that shows that people are generally more satisfied with their life conditions if they’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness than if they’re diagnosed with something that may or may not be terminal. This is like mindblowing for me.

So, that if you know that your illness is terminal, it calms you down, “I know what’s going to happen next. I can predict this thing. I know where we’re going.” But if you don’t know, your nervous system is activated, “I don’t know where this is going. Is it going to be diagnosed as terminal? What’s going to happen to me?” Living in that uncertainty is harder than even living in the ultimate certainty of your own demise.

For me, this is like an example of the ways uncertainty is really not that friendly to our bodies. We just do not like this thing unless we go to a movie, in which case, then we like it. We like it in the movies. We don’t like it in our real lives.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Well, that’s just really striking and I’m chewing on that right now. And I guess I’m thinking, if that’s true, then it seems the natural implication to me is maybe our best strategy is to assume that it is a terminal illness, and then you have that certainty for now, and then maybe you’ll, I don’t know, have a second…well, sometimes, when people discover this tragic news, they really do live life to the full, sometimes, and that could be inspiring.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
That’s absolutely true.

Pete Mockaitis
And then you may have a pleasant surprise, “Actually, you’re going to live longer.” It’s like, “Oh, cool.” So, anyway, I might be way oversimplifying things here, Jennifer, but that’s what sort of what I’m thinking. It’s like, if that’s how we work, maybe we’re better off just assuming the worst and being delightfully surprised if our assumptions are incorrect. Is that one useful strategy?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I’m guessing, in some situations that is a useful strategy, but we’ve all been thrown by COVID, and we all know that our travel plans for a business trip or a holiday might be upended at the last minute. We can’t plan for the worst all the time, and not make plans or else we wouldn’t go anywhere. And so, we do sometimes have to throw ourselves into the game, and, in the game, we know that there are things we’re going to be able to predict, and then there’s just a ton we’re not going to be able to predict.

And getting our bodies able to handle that and you did it just a minute ago when you were talking about the great switch-up, and you became frazzled for a moment, and then you realized, I mean, you were fake-frazzled, but you realized you were fake-frazzled, and you breathed and you noticed and you calmed yourself down.

And this is the first thing for us to do is to notice, “Oh, I feel frazzled now. How do I return to my body? How do I return to my breath?” because it turns out, we can, in fact, switch on the part of the nervous system that is helpful for us in complexity and that it brings online all the things we want. We can actually switch it on on purpose.

It switches off when we face into complexity, but there are all these moves we can make, short-term and longer-term moves that mean we get to be the boss of our nervous system, to a certain extent. And that is amazing. To be able to hack into this thing that humans have just been able to just run in the background, now we need to hack into it, and there are ways to do that.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, that’s intriguing, and I’m just imagining the nervous system saying, “You’re not the boss of me.” You’re saying, “Yes, I am.” So, lay it on us, how do we become the boss of our nervous system?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
So, the first thing is we need to notice it. I think everything starts with noticing, which is why having this conversation is great because before I did the research for this book, I’m not sure how much I noticed my nervous system, to be honest. I think it just ran, right? And, now, after having done the research that we did and really thinking about it, there are all kinds of ways we can notice.

We can notice our breathing, we can notice our heart rate, we can notice the way we’re sitting or standing or moving, how fast we’re talking. We can notice all these things, and you’ll have some constellation of things that can alert you all. My sympathetic nervous system, my stress bone, my fight or flight often people call it, nervous system is running the show right now. It’s not a help in this situation. I don’t need to fight or flee from anybody right now. It’s a meeting. I need to be here.

And once we notice that we’re in this place, the next thing we can do is change our breathing, just as you did in your example. Just like your mama told you, to take three deep breaths before going any further. Actually, your mama was right, because deep breaths that push out the diaphragm, and that have a slower exhale, those actually activate this complexity-friendly nervous system. They switch our nervous systems. We have the switch at hand all the time.

And I think we could use that switch all the time. We could use it 80 times a day. And most of the folks I work with need to be reminded that they have this thing right with them.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And when it comes to deep breathing, any pro tips, do’s or don’ts to make that work for you? This has come up before, but I’ve got the Breathwork app in my phone. I think it’s fun and there are so many varieties in terms of, “And for these many times, for that, through the nose, through the mouth, through alternating nostrils.” Like, “Oh, okay, that’s fancy.” So, any pro tips on is there a deep-breathing approach that maximally helps us here?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
As far as I can tell, the deep breathing approach that helps you the most is the one you can learn to use in your meeting, where alternating nostril breathing is harder when the accounting team is looking at you.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, the people is like, “What are you doing over there?”

Jennifer Garvey Berger
So, something that you can remember. I’ve talked to many people about this. Sometimes people find that counting your breath is super helpful, and other people find, “When I count my breath, it makes me stress out.” You do you and figure out what’s the good thing. The thing that we know helps the nervous system.

Slower exhales than inhales and your diaphragm moving. Both of those things are important. If you can tick those two boxes, all the others, yes, they’re incredibly varied states that you can get into with your breath. I’m just trying to get us prepared to handle complexity, and those two boxes will do.

Pete Mockaitis
So, slower exhales than inhales means it might be like inhaling for a count of four-ish, and exhaling for a count of eight-ish, for example.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Exactly. That’s exactly right. It turns out that when you inhale, an inhale activates your fight or flight nervous system, and an exhale activates your complexity-friendly nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system. And so, if you can activate one more than the other, that’s a win.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, then how much how long would we need to do this breathing? Can I see results in 10 seconds? Or, is three minutes a super sweet spot? Or, what do you recommend?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think you can start to see results in three breaths.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay, cool.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think it’s best.

Pete Mockaitis
So, three breaths will do something. And would 30 breaths do more?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Again, if you have time and space to drop into some meditative state, maybe. The thing I like about breath work is it’s so fast. And so, dropping into a meditative state is always good. If you can do it, that’s excellent. Again, hard to do in a meeting without people thinking you’re odd or not present or whatever. Unless you all do it together, then that’s fun. But if you’re just trying to manage your own nervous system, watching your breath is helpful.

By the way, if you have a team of people and everybody in the meeting is agitated, having your breath be a little bit audible, slowing down your breath, and having it be audible just for one or two breaths will actually make others in the meeting also slow their breathing, and you’ll hear other people also kind of sigh. And then you are not just deactivating your stress response. You’re beginning to deactivate the stress responses of the people around you.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. And I’m curious if you have any nifty research or numbers which suggests, “Hey, this is just how much smarter you’re going to be simply by taking three-ish breaths.”

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I don’t have any research about breath. There’s really good research about sleep, which is another genius that’s really good.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, let’s talk about sleep.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Let’s talk about sleep. I happen to know you recently had a bay.

Pete Mockaitis
I sure did.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
And so, my guess is you know a lot more about sleep deprivation than most humans right now from the experiment you’re running in your own life. But sleep is I always have to figure out how to phrase this because it’s the least helpful thing in the world for people who aren’t getting enough sleep to find out how stress-inducing it is for them to need to get more sleep.

So, I want to say we could all do just a little bit better. By and large, the modern life we live interrupts our sleep in a way that’s not very helpful. And if we begin to work on it a little bit more and a little bit more, then we can actually take sleep as a piece of our job. How to be awesome at your job? You prioritize sleep. It turns out that the sleep you get early in the night helps you code the things that you did yesterday into your long-term memory and transfers them to long-term memory. That’s helpful.

The sleep you get later in the night, like the early morning sleep, that helps you code people’s faces as less threatening. So, if you cut off the sleep in the early part of the night and the early part of the morning, you go to bed late and you wake up early, then you’re going to go to bed not remembering quite what happened yesterday, and also thinking everybody’s out to get you, which these are not helpful. These are not helpful ways of connecting with your world.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, sleep, one key thing is to just get in bed, turn off the lights, at a reasonable hour. Do the math associated with when you got to wake up and then when you got to go to bed. Any other pro tips on sleeping that is novel for folks?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think, for me, the most novel thing is, and it sounds boring, I know it sounds boring, is that we have to think about our sleep during the day. We have to actually plan our night sleep the way we would plan our workout, or our dinner, or whatever else we do that’s good for us. And I believe that sleep is a part of our job.

And I used to treat it as like sleep was the inconvenient thing that happened when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. And I did it until I could stand to wake up. Like, this was how I treated sleep. And now I understand that treating sleep that way, as if it’s kind of an annoyance, really reduced my commitment to creating the conditions in my life to get good sleep.

And now, I prioritize, I really prioritize, “What does it mean for what hours I’ll take phone calls? What does it mean for what hours I’ll have caffeine? What does it mean for what hours I’ll have alcohol?” I really prioritize sleep because I understand that it creates the conditions for my nervous system to be smooth and happy, as well as there’s awful lot of other stuff it does, but that’s what I lean into.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And you said you have some hot numbers associated with just how much dumber sleep deprivation is making us.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Numbers are not exactly my thing. I can point you in the direction of numbers. I’m good with metaphors. If you’re looking at my StrengthsFinder, you would find me with in the strengths in the metaphors, and the numbers would be my lower strengths, or weaknesses we might even say.

The thing that they attached it to that really makes sense to me is alcohol. Every hour you don’t sleep is the equivalent of a drink or two, depending on your stature, a drink or two, and that means that if you lose three hours of sleep at a night, you’re walking around drunk, basically. You have as much of a chance as getting into a car accident as somebody who’s been drinking. You have as much of a chance as doing or saying something you’ll regret later as somebody who’s been drinking. That’s the cognitive equivalent of alcohol.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. So, there’s…

Jennifer Garvey Berger
But less fun.

Pete Mockaitis
But less fun. Okay. And then how about the moving?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
The moving really matters. We know that our bodies were meant to move, and we spend most of our time moving our mouths and maybe our fingers on the keyboard. But actually, when we get this burst of stress hormones in our bodies, really helps to move them off. They exist in order to be run off. And unless we do something, we don’t have to work out 30 minutes a day to get our nervous system in line.

There are these ideas about, like, micro bursts of, literally, ten seconds of exercise. They’re studying amounts of exercise as small as ten seconds, and getting breathless for ten seconds running up the stairs instead of walking up the stairs, for example, changes your nervous system.

Pete Mockaitis
In a good way.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
In a great way.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I guess I’m thinking, if I’m doing a sprint, if we’re talking about stress, that seems like that would make my body stress systems more stressed, like, “Whoa, this is intense,” but that’s a positive?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
It turns out you’re exactly right. During the sprint, your body experiences stress. After the sprint, your body experiences release from stress. So, if you’re having a heavy day, it’s a bad meeting, and then you have to get to the next bad meeting, and you can run up your stairs in between them, yeah, you’ll be stressed for those ten seconds that you’re running up the stairs. But, actually, the rebound, they call it the parasympathetic rebound, the rebound after that is super beneficial and it lasts a while.

So, this is another thing to do even if you’re just clicking at home from one Zoom line into a team’s meeting, if you run down the stairs and get yourself a cup of tea, and run back to your office, you’ll be in better shape for your next meeting.

Pete Mockaitis
Hopefully, if the tea is hot, you have a lid for your mug or beverage holster of choice.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Good plan. Maybe just run in one direction.

Pete Mockaitis
Just really visualizing that scene.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
This is probably a good idea. Yeah, that’s a pro tip.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And so, when do I get that rebound? Is it immediately or as soon as I catch my breath again? Like, when can I start reaping what I have sown?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think it’s right away, yeah. As soon as you start to breathe normally, your body is like, “Oh, I feel refreshed. I feel clean.” And sometimes, I just have people stand up at their desk and kind of move their bodies. There’s some research that moving your hand across the midline of your body changes your brain functioning. So, if you can kind of stand up and swing your arms around, it actually…this possibility exists that makes your brain more flexible. There you go.

Pete Mockaitis
It seems like this is something a clown does in performing for children.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
And just imagine how stressful that job is.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s the takeaway, Jennifer. How clowns get through their workday, you’ll learn that at Awesome at Your Job. Okay. Well, we’re doing some laughing, that’s also in your list. Tell us about that.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Laughing is great for our bodies, and it’s also great for our communities. The thing that surprised me in my research about laughing, I thought, maybe you think, we laugh at something that’s funny. We think that it’s the funny thing out there that causes laughter in here. But actually, it turns out that laughter isn’t that much about what’s funny out there. Laughter is a social cuing more than it is about our response to laughter.

We all actually know this because we’ve all watched something that we thought was hilarious, and then we showed that hilarious thing to somebody who’s like, “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever see in our lives.” And when we showed it to them, it wasn’t funny anymore, you’re like, “Oh, this is embarrassing that I’m showing you this right now.”

So, everybody who’s had that experience understands that laughter is more about the relationships than it is about the actual funny thing. And so, it turns out that our willingness to laugh together, it’s really important to things like team cohesion, the ability of teams to be creative together, the ability of people to feel psychologically safe together. All these things that we want, laughter opens up a door to that.

And as I read across the research, the kind of pro tip here is not that you have to be funnier, but it’s that you have to just be more frequent a laugher, more gracious with your giving of laughter. And if you think of your laughter as a gift that makes social situations easier, suddenly, it becomes easier to laugh. People laugh more around you. They feel more comfortable around you.

My co-author, Carolyn Coughlin, who’s my friend and colleague, as well as the co-author of this book, she laughs so easily, more easily than just about anybody I’ve ever known. And when people describe her, they say, “Carolyn is hilarious.” I’ve been friend with Carolyn for 20 years, she’s not hilarious.

Pete Mockaitis
Like, on the record, disagree.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
She just laughs a lot. On the record. She doesn’t very often say things that are funny, but she participates in laughing so much that everybody gets funnier when Carolyn is around. She makes you feel funnier, and she makes you feel connected to her. It’s not being funny; it’s being generous with your laughter.

Pete Mockaitis
I like that a lot, and it’s true. When I’m saying things that are even mildly amusing, and the person I’m talking to is laughing, I feel good, I like them more.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
That’s it. That’s exactly right.

Pete Mockaitis
And all sorts of good things are flowing there. So, I’ve actually tried to get myself to laugh on command, and pulled up some random YouTube videos to help facilitate that. I didn’t have the best of luck pulling that off, Jennifer. So, how can I just get better at laughing if I’m not just getting exposed to more hilarious stimuli?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, laughing, because it’s a social phenomenon, there is this whole thing, which I’ve not found research on but I’m curious about, like, the things we only laugh at when we’re alone, like, whatever stupid cat videos, or whatever it might be. But, by and large, laughter is much easier to find in social situations, which is why early sitcoms have laugh tracks because they cue us, “Oh, it’s time for me to laugh now. That must be funny.”

And it’s actually, like many complex phenomena, it’s actually hearing other people laugh that signals to you that you find it funny, which is why we have so much more laughter in groups than we do by ourselves, and it’s why, in our hybrid world when we’re alone in a room and on mute and everybody else is on mute, we just laugh a whole lot less because we hear other people’s laughter less.

So, the thing that shaped it, for me, is to be able to notice myself, again, it starts with noticing, to be able to notice myself and to begin to turn, like the idea, I think sometimes I would have had kind of like the Mona Lisa smile, like, “Oh, you said something amusing,” I will kind of smile in your direction. And now that I understand what laughter actually is for my nervous system, for your nervous system, and for our relationship, now that I know, it’s like, “Oh, I can actually laugh.”

I think there’s a way I was actually holding myself back from laughing. And the thing I’m doing now is doing that less. And by doing that less, I laugh more. And when I laugh more, the other person laughs more, and it becomes just hilarious. It becomes much, much funnier a world. And we need that. Our nervous systems need that, our relationships need that.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And you’ve got also the recommendation that we should do some more wondering.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, I love the word wonder because it let me get two geniuses in one, because wonder has both the idea of like awe. And there’s a lot of research on awe, on the sense of majesty, the sense of being connected to and part of something so much bigger than us. And we tend to find this sense of awe at the Grand Canyon, or when a choir is singing very beautifully at church, or wherever that might be for you.

And it turns out that we can go looking for that. I’ve sent hundreds of leaders out into their neighborhoods, their city neighborhoods, and said, “Go find something that fills you with awe,” and they’re like, “I’m not going to find something that fills me with awe.” And they come back, and they’re like, “Oh, my God, there’s so much there that fills me with awe.”

The intention of finding awe actually activates our capacity to find it. So, another thing you can do on your lunchbreak, if you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed, you can wander around and see whether you can find something that strikes you as awesome. Grass is awesome. Trees are unbelievably awesome. The way that we’ve been able to build buildings, make neighborhoods, there’s a lot in the world that is filled with wonder.

And then the second thing wonder leads us to is curiosity. When we are wondering, then this question about, “How can we be curious about things?” Certainty is unhelpful in complexity because it’s a narrowing emotion. What we want is curiosity. And so, again, the question is, “How do we inject more curiosity into our lives? How do we shift some of the certainty, which just arises for all kinds of reasons? How do we shift that into some kind of wondering, some kind of musing, some kind of ‘I wonder if I could connect to some new idea, new possibility’?”

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool. Well, now, tell us, Jennifer, anything else you want to make sure to mention before we shift gears and hear about some of your favorite things?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
The last thing I’ll say is the thing this book has convinced me is that we can create the conditions in our lives for complexity to be more manageable, more fun, and for us to stay connected to ourselves and to other people as we face into it. And I’ve found that knowing that I can create the conditions in my life for that has made every day better.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s cool.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
So, I’m hoping that your listeners get to connect to that idea.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. Well, now can you tell us about a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think the quote that has moved me the most is attributed to a whole bunch of different people, but I tend to attribute it to the Talbot, and it says, “We do not see the world as it is. We see it as we are.” And I find that idea magical.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
My favorite research is research on willpower and how we use willpower. And they took, scientists, diabolical scientists, gave people a really difficult task and then they had them walk down a hall to another room and past somebody who had a plate of hot chocolate chip cookies. And people were offered the hot chocolate chip cookies.

And those people who declined the chocolate chip cookies did less well on the cognitive test after declining the chocolate chip cookies. It turns out that the act of willpower actually uses up some of our cognitive possibility, and it’s depleting. And so, if you’re relying on willpower to make a change, it actually makes you stupider.

Pete Mockaitis
I see. Okay, good to know. And a favorite book?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
My favorite book in this field is called Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky. I think it is laugh-out-loud funny. You’ll learn everything, everything about stress and the body, and have fun doing it.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, cool. And a favorite tool, something that helps you be awesome at your job?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
What helps me be awesome at my job. I am very grateful for the microphone you sent me because that shows that you are awesome at your job, and you are going to help me be more awesome at my job.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, thank you. And a favorite habit?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I have all these sleep habits that are super important to me right now. Really, this idea of “Can I plan my day so that I can get more sleep? And can I shift to…?” So, here’s what I do. I shift to my favorite herbal tea at noon, so I shift away from coffee and, too, with caffeine. And I love this habit. It’s delicious.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And is there a key nugget you share that really seems to connect and resonate with folks; they quote it back to you often?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Asking the question, “How can I be wrong?” People love this question. When you are feeling certain about something, and you are feeling closed, and you are just trying to hammer your way through, asking the question of yourself, “How can I be wrong here?” actually opens you up to new possibilities.

And even though this is the simplest question in the world, I swear, and I obviously didn’t come up with it, like I didn’t make it up, if you look me up, you’ll find this quote. People quote me about this all the time, “How can I be wrong about this?” When you’re feeling too certain and dug in, it’s like punching a skylight and letting new possibilities stream through the roof.

Pete Mockaitis
And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I have a great website CultivatingLeadership.com. And there’s just a ton of we believe in sharing everything we know with anybody who cares, so papers, articles, videos, podcasts like this one. My colleagues and I are constantly trying to figure out how to make the world better, and how to help us all be awesome at our jobs and at our lives. And you’ll see lots of good stuff there.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And do you have a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think the question is, “Can you bring the fullness of you to work? Can you find a way to cultivate the you that you feel the most proud of?” We are often at work trying to be the thing that we think other people want us to be. And the work I do is to help people find what’s the greatness that’s theirs, and then how do they create the conditions, like unleashing their complexity genius and other things that help them bring that greatness to the world.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Jennifer, this has been a treat. I wish you much luck and fun in the midst of complexity.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Thank you so much. That’ll be great. I hope the complexity of you and your new growing family, I hope you get some sleep.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, thank you.