In episode 1153, Attia Qureshi shares simple techniques to build up your negotiating skills, one step at a time.
Take a relational approach to get more out of every negotiation. Most people can help you, but it’s up to them whether they want to or not. Thus, building good relationships with those around you will open up the way for your negotiation.
Reduce fear and tension by visualizing the best, fine, and worst outcomes. Thinking through possible outcomes helps you realize how unlikely the worst outcome is. You can even take it a step further and practice achieving your best and fine outcomes out loud with a partner.
Identify and vocalize the emotions you’re feeling to take their power away. MRI studies show that doing so helps diminish an emotion’s feeling. Use Attia’s interactive emotion wheel to identify the main emotion you’re feeling. Then get more specific and list all the other minor emotions so you can say them out loud too.
Use reciprocity to nudge people towards helping you. We’re all hardwired to want to return a gift or a favor, which builds stronger connections. That, in turn, can make it easier to ask for something down the line. However, Attia also stresses that you need to have both parties’ best interests in mind when using reciprocity. Otherwise, people will see it as manipulation.
Say people’s names during negotiations to connect with them on a more human level. That puts us at the top of their attention list. In addition, showing empathy makes them more sympathetic towards you. Taking time to think about the other person’s interests is one easy way to empathize with others. Doing so also expands your options since you can now work together to create a win-win solution.
Build your negotiation confidence by practicing in low-stakes situations. For example, the next time you go out for dinner, try to guess what the other person’s interests about that dinner might be. Then, show them your list and ask how close you were. That helps you get used to thinking about how to align your interests with the other party’s.
Remember that the more you ask, the more you get. Rejection is an inevitable part of negotiation and life. While we can’t make it go away, we can build our tolerance for it in the same way we build confidence. The next time you find yourself hesitating, remember what you’re potentially leaving on the table by not asking.
Start with the number that’s most favorable to you. We generally stay around the first number mentioned during a negotiation. Then, to make your case even more solid, bring data to back up your number.
Learn when to say no, because saying yes comes with its own costs. Saying yes all the time will make you seem agreeable, but it’ll lead to burnout down the line. In the same way, learn when to say no to a bad deal in a negotiation. Most of us are in a privileged position where we can still look for other, better deals after.
Read/listen to the full conversation HERE.
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