Marco Bartolome

Pete Mockaitis
Matt, welcome back!

Matt Abrahams
I am thrilled to be back with you. We had such fun last time. Thank you.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, yes. Well, thank you, and kudos on all your success in terms of the book and your podcast. It is just blowing up and you’re appearing in big arenas digitally, and so I just think that’s so cool. So kudos, the good word is getting out and you’re getting out some more good word with an updated edition of your book.

Matt Abrahams
Thank you. Yeah, it’s all exciting. The goal is to help people feel more comfortable and confident communicating and it’s always great to have conversations on the topic.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, so Think Faster, Talk Smarter. We’re coming out with a fresh edition and, apparently, this AI business is fairly consequential when it comes to communication.

Matt Abrahams
I’ve heard. I’ve heard. Do you find you use AI to help you in your communication?

Pete Mockaitis
Selectively. I use it a ton for research and I love that. I cannot tell how many times I’ve said, “Show me human randomized control trials on the impact of X on Y,” because I was like, “Get right to the real science of the stuff,” as opposed to, you know, what random influencers are saying. And then follow up questions.

So I think that I’ve been having too much fun using AI for research. And with communication, I do it pretty sparingly. It’s usually, like, I’m really kind of stuck, “I want to make this email. I don’t want to be rude, but I want to be kind of assertive.”

But the blunt answer is like, “Hey, this is our agreement. Read it,” you know? But, “What’s the nicer way to say that?” So I find it helps when I have some emotional hang-ups with my language to just be like, “Oh, yeah, that’s just the easy words to use. Yeah, go ahead and do that,” you know?

Matt Abrahams
And I think that’s a wise way to use it. Use it as a check on tone, as a check on vocabulary, again as a partner, not necessarily as the drafter and originator of the information.

Pete Mockaitis
Yes, I’ve heard that said very well. And we had Jeremy Utley, understandably.

Matt Abrahams
Ah, Jeremy is a good friend and a colleague. He’s awesome.

Pete Mockaitis
You know, he really nailed it. I don’t remember if this is his words, or if this is from Brendan at The Leverage Class. We’ll put links to all of this stuff, to think of AI as a sparring partner instead of an oracle, or a teammate instead of an oracle. And that’s been very helpful.

Matt Abrahams
Yes, that’s exactly right. That is Jeremy’s language for sure. Yes.

Pete Mockaitis
So that’s handy. So that was one of the reasons you thought, “Hmm, a fresh edition of this book is warranted already,” because it’s not that old. But lay it on us, in terms of your view of AI and how it’s impacting communication and professionals.

Matt Abrahams
Right. So AI gives us an opportunity for all of us to be perfect and polished in our communication, and that’s a problem. That’s a problem because it brings to us what I’m calling an authenticity crisis, where we never truly know if what somebody says is their own thought process, is the result of that, or if it’s something AI created.

If you think about it, communication is the end stop of a whole bunch of thinking that happens. Critical thinking is important and critical in our communication. And if we can never truly know if what somebody is saying is theirs, then we’ve got an issue of authenticity.

So much so that companies are requiring in-person interviews again because we want to make sure no Cyrano de Bergerac is going on, people looking at the screen or getting advice in their ears. Universities like where I teach are bringing back blue books. You and I both remember putting pen in the blue books to answer questions because we’re just not sure.

So we need to, I believe, in a world of AI where polish and perfection are just a few keystrokes away, being able to demonstrate that we’re human and we have thought through our information is critical. And I believe, while AI can be incredibly helpful in being a sparring partner, in helping us think through our audiences, in testing our reflexes around certain types of communication, we want to make sure that we avoid just relying on it for all of our communication.

And there are things we can do to signal that we are actually human in our communication. And that’s really what this chapter, the new chapter about AI is all about.

Pete Mockaitis
And this signaling, I’m imagining, is more sophisticated than removing em dashes.

Matt Abrahams
It is a little bit more sophisticated. If you think about it, I believe that in a world of AI, the ability to speak in the moment, on your feet, and be responsive in an agile, appropriate way is the thing that will set those who are expert apart from those who aren’t.

And so there are things that we can do to signal that. So, for example, we can connect what we’re saying to our life experience. So I could say, “You know, when I think about the answer to your question, it reminds me of a time when…” and then we tell that story.

Or we could, in our communication, tell how we are feeling in the moment, like, “That question really makes me ponder or question this approach.” And it is through those little tells and reveals that we actually show that we are thinking in the moment, that this is us live processing.

And that makes a difference because it allows us not only to demonstrate proof of human and proof of thought, but it’s endearing and connective instead of just rote recitation that many people are relying on.

Pete Mockaitis
You’re right. And I like that so much because that’s very simple, clear, and direct and the AI doesn’t tend to share with us its emotional reaction because it doesn’t have emotions, nor does it share its personal background history stories because it doesn’t have those either. And so that’s very simple right there.

And I think you really nailed it with regard to our live conversational exchanges, quite an impact in how folks judge us because if we look at any number of artifacts, whether that’s documents, reports, spreadsheets, whatever, it’s like before, I mean, we even see this in our business with the hiring for podcast production services.

Before we say, “Okay, well, we’ll ask all these questions, and if they can answer them, then they must be pretty smart.” And then now it’s like, “Well, we can’t do that anymore. It’s because they can just get those answers readily.” And not because the test has been published somewhere, but because ChatGPT can handle it, no problem.

And so you’re right, if the artifacts aren’t telling the story that I’m highly competent, then one of the few things we really have left is the live conversation in which we’re showing off how we think and what we can do.

Matt Abrahams
Absolutely. Communication is about connection and is demonstrating thought and empathy. And those are things that are difficult to do with AI. Again, AI has a place in our communication. I truly believe it can help us be better.

I talk about the empathy paradox. If I need to have a conversation with you, Pete, where I really want to make sure that my messaging aligns with your way of being in the world, I can work with AI in advance and have it help me think through ways of approaching you that might be different than I would normally approach other people. That’s great and that’s a useful tool.

However, if I just outsource all the most difficult communication I have to have, a bad performance review, or a breakup, or something of that nature, you know, empathy is a muscle. You need to train it. And if I just outsource it, I can have empathy atrophy. And that concerns me greatly, especially for younger generations who haven’t had to have those difficult conversations in the first place.

So we do need to take the time to really think through our communication, leverage AI appropriately, and then make sure we demonstrate that this is our own work. You and I grew up going to school where you had to show your work, and this is part of how we do it.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, could you give us some stories that illustrate what you’re seeing with regard to empathy atrophy, or the landscape of us human thinkers, empathizers, communicators, and how we’ve already been influenced or altered by AI?

Matt Abrahams
So let me start with a story that I actually start the new chapter in the book with. And this happened to a friend of mine, a dear friend of mine. Like me, he teaches communication at the university level.

And he was applying for a new job. And he had a bunch of stuff going on in his life that was difficult for him, and so he prepared with AI. So he created answers through AI for questions he knew he was going to get asked. He memorized them. He had them up on the screen when he did the the Zoom interview.

And in the midst, you know, he gave good answers to questions that were prepared. And then the follow-up or the surprising questions he completely floundered on. And it was because he hadn’t done the necessary thinking through process to help himself be who he really was. I mean, he was eminently qualified for that job. Absolutely. He just had not prepared properly.

And this is happening all over the place. An investor I talked to, worked for a VC firm, I coached for a while. And he was promoted because of how good he was as an analyst. He was an amazing analyst. He relied on AI almost extensively to help him with the communication, the slides he presented, the documents he created.

And he was promoted to an investing position where he actually had to engage in conversation, give difficult feedback. And he was woefully inadequate because those communication skills that his leaders, bosses saw in him were not truly his. And he was in a position that he did not do well.

And it took a long time for him to get to a place where he could deliver at the level both his bosses and he expected of himself. So these are the ways that we’re seeing this over-reliance on AI manifest itself. Not to mention the times where people just jump to it whenever there’s a slightly difficult conversation.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Okay. Well, so, Matt, give us some step-by-step goodies that you recommend in such a world.

Matt Abrahams
Yeah, so a few things I’d recommend that people do. One is, as you are crafting communication to leverage the skills that AI can bring to you, the help, use it, as you mentioned, as Jeremy likes to talk about, a sparring partner.

So, for example, if I know I’m going into a job interview, I can have it present to me questions that I try to answer. Not like the person I talked about, to memorize the answers, but just to get through the pattern recognition of answering questions and, “How do I start?” It’s an agility drill. Athletes do a tremendous number of agility drills. AI is a great tool for that.

If you’re going into a meeting with a bunch of different people, assign AI different personalities, the skeptic, the supporter, and talk through with the AI what you would do and how you would respond. Again, helping you with pattern recognition, helping you expand your repertoire of communication in the moment. These are ways to leverage the tool to help.

And then when you’re actually delivering the communication, lean into the things that make you human. Share your in-the-moment feelings. Stop worrying about saying “um” or “ah” too much. These are things that we do in our normal everyday communication that help us connect.

Pete Mockaitis
Very good. Okay. Well, so as we’re implementing these pieces, do you have any pro tips, do’s and don’ts along the path?

Matt Abrahams
So it takes time and it takes practice. I mean, the only way you get good at communication is three things: repetition, reflection, and feedback. So you need to get the reps. So if you want to figure out how do you incorporate AI into your communication or improve any communication, practice. Try it.

Do different things. Explore. AI can actually help you. You can say, “How can I use you to best help me in this circumstance?” Or, “How have others used you to help?” So you have to get the reps in. You then have to reflect.

One of the big challenges I have with my students is they’ll get information out from AI and they don’t take that extra step to reflect on the quality, the sourcing, or even, you know, “Is this helpful to me and what can I learn?”

There are ways, and I actually use AI in my classes, have my students use AI to help them. So they might, in preparing for a big presentation in my class, put in an outline and ask AI to make certain parts more concise or make parts more engaging. And then I force them to think about and talk about what the suggestions were.

Not that the suggestions the LLM created are correct, but, “What is it doing in this moment? And can you make a choice to lean into it or perhaps do something else?” So it is repetition, it is reflection, and then feedback. And you can use AI to help you give feedback. You can record things, upload it, and have it give you feedback.

But ask other people, as a result of whatever preparation you’ve used with AI to give you feedback, are you starting to sound like AI? A fascinating research recently released shows that our language choice, the words we’re choosing, is beginning to sound more and more like that that comes from AI. So we have to be careful.

If we all start using AI so much, we’re going to start to sound like AI and lose our way of expressing ourselves. The words we use reflect the thoughts we have and the way that we connect. So, to me, the answer to your question is repetition, reflection, and feedback.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I’m intrigued by when you said, upload the recording and have AI provide feedback. As far as I know, I hope you’re about to blow my mind with something new, no pressure, as far as I know, they can transcribe that and then give you feedback on the words. But are we also getting feedback on the vocal pitch, intonation, the pacing, like the pausing?

Matt Abrahams
Yeah, there are tools out there that leverage AI that do that. And some of the LLMs generally available have features as well. So, yes, it can talk about intonation, filler words, words of hesitation. And, again, this is all information that can be helpful to you, not to say that what the AI says is correct or perfect, but it’s information for you to reflect on and try and experiment.

A lot of successful communication is about A-B testing, trying different things out, getting feedback. I think real human feedback is essential, but also leveraging tools to help can be a good thing.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. Well, no, I’m right with you with regard to the sparring partner idea and then the reps, and just as a tool for reflection as well. I remember I was working with someone who’s trying to improve on sales, and she was sending the whole transcript of the sales conversation, you know, through the AI and say, “Hey, I’d love your input on, like, what went well, what could have gone differently.”

And, again, none of us viewing it as the oracle of the almighty sales guru who has all sales knowledge, but rather by saying stuff back, you then have the opportunity to respond. And sometimes the response is, “No, you’re totally off base. That was exactly the right move.”

And then, ideally, you talk to an expert as well who will give you feedback in terms of it’s like, “Well, no, actually, the AI was on the money,” or, “No, it’s more nuanced than that,” you know, whatever. But just having something come back at you, just like hitting a ball against the wall, enables you to reflect on that and send the ball back to the wall. And in so doing, you’re getting better at hitting the ball with a bracket.

Matt Abrahams
Yeah, in all the work that I do, I get to travel all over the place, helping people and working on communication skills with people. You know, people define success of communication is survival, “I got through it. I’m done.” And they leave and they don’t think about, “How can I do it better? What did I learn?”

So this colleague who’s, you know, feeding things into a system, that’s a great way to start that process. But you then have to take it to the next step, and say, “Well, what could difference look like? How could I do this in a different way?” And that’s how we improve, and that’s how we all can get better. So that reflection step is really important.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, absolutely. And tell us, what are the tools that will also give us feedback on our pitch and pacing in a presentation?

Matt Abrahams
Well, there are many of them that exist, and everybody has to find their own that works best for them. I mean, I don’t want this to be a sales pitch for my stuff, but one of my students, upon graduation, created an AI coach version of me.

So I tried to get ChatMatt as a URL, but you can actually talk to it and feed in vocal cues and clues, and it’ll give you feedback on things like pitch and rate, etc. So there are tools out there that do it that can help you. But, again, communication is not all just that. It’s the constellation of everything that you do, and the rehearsal, the practice, the thought process, that’s all what’s critical.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I mean, that’s kind of you to not want to turn this into a pitch session, but feel free. So ChatMatt…

Matt Abrahams
Yeah, it’s a thing. Yeah, yeah.

Pete Mockaitis
…will provide feedback on my pitch and my pacing in addition to my words.

Matt Abrahams
Absolutely. And it’ll give you feedback on lots of other things. If you’re struggling asking your boss for a raise or you have to raise an issue in a meeting that might be sensitive. My wife actually prefers to talk to my chat bot than to me. She said it actually listens better than I do.

When it was first coming out, we tested it with my two 20-something kids. Believe me, they put it to the test because we didn’t want it teaching bad things or inappropriate things. And with my younger son, the tool actually made him feel guilty.

He asked some silly question and it said, “I am a tool for serious communication development. When you’re ready to work on something serious, come back.” I thought that was lovely. We encoded guilt into it.

So it’s a tool that it’s been trained on my teachings, my work, and again, leveraging AI, I hope, for a good purpose. Literally, the way it’s designed, and again, this sounds too sales pitchy, but there’s a phone number you can call, like you’re calling a friend, and when you call, it will connect to the AI coach once you’ve signed up and everything.

And you can literally just have that, you say, “I’m about to walk into the room. I didn’t expect my boss’s boss to be in there. What’s something I can say that…?” you know? And it’ll respond in my voice. And so trying to use AI to help bring communication to the moment where people need that communication coaching.

Pete Mockaitis
That’s so good. Well, now you’ve got a fun term, you say old-school AI, which is authenticity and influence. You shared with us a couple quick tips in terms of making something all the more authentic and you. Anything else you’d add about influence in the age of AI?

Matt Abrahams
Yeah, absolutely. So in a world of AI, what becomes really important is the emotional connection. When we go to persuade people, it is really important that we not only persuade on facts and figures, which are important, but we also think about the emotional connection and component of our communication.

And that is something that is uniquely human. And we have to think about, “What is that emotional connection? How can I address and make that move forward?” And so we have to be thinking about that aspect as well.

So when it comes to persuasion, you know, some of these key elements we’ve known for millennia. It’s facts and figures, logos, it’s emotion, pathos, and it’s your credibility, how you show up in the background that you have.

I like to distinguish when I teach credibility to my MBA students, there’s what I call career and college credibility and Costco credibility. And career and college credibility is what most of us think about. It’s what’s on our LinkedIn profiles, on our resumes, on our vitaes.

But Costco credibility sometimes is more important. When you go to Costco, they give you free samples of food. Why would they do that? It’s not a great business model unless, when you try the food, you like it and then you buy it. They’re showing you the value.

So career and college credibility, really important. And AI can help you perfect that. But your lived experience, the showing of your credibility, that’s where you can really lean into this emotional connection.

You know, it’s one thing to say, “I won the Sales Person of the Year Award five times in a row.” It’s another thing to say, “Here’s how my sales methodology worked in this particular session, and this is what helped me close the deal.” Very different way of communicating your credibility.

So it’s thinking about the emotion, it’s leaning into the lived experience of your credibility, that’s the old-school influence piece that really makes a difference. And when you partner that with some of the things AI can bring to you, can make a really powerful combination.

Pete Mockaitis
I love that a lot. The ‘show me’ instead of ‘telling me’ of it, and the Costco sample concept. As we speak, I’m looking at my sound absorbing panels in the studio. And I ordered them from Music City Acoustics. And the way they got me was I was just looking up some YouTube video, like, “Okay, so how do I think about echo in this room? And what do we really need to do with that?”

And they showed me this detailed use of a software program and a microphone to calibrate it, to figure out the decay rate of different frequencies, and I was like, “Okay, this guy is a super expert on room echo maybe more than anyone that I’ve ever encountered, and he’s, you know, less than an hour away in Nashville. We’re just going to go ahead and hire them.” And that was that.

Because you get sound panels from a lot of places, but these folks are going to optimally size and place these bad boys better than I could possibly understand.

Matt Abrahams
Absolutely. And that experience you had influenced you, and that makes a big difference. Showing, it really does help.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, Matt, tell me, anything else we really should make sure to mention before we hear about some of your favorite things?

Matt Abrahams
The one thing that I heard the most when I was traveling all over the world is people said, “How do I deal with conflict that sparks in the moment, you know, all of a sudden, you’re having a conversation, and somebody gets upset?”

So I added a whole chapter in the applied section of the book, talking about this, how to manage conflict in the moment. And it really boils down to just some very straightforward, simple practices. First, you have to acknowledge what’s happening, right? You don’t have to agree, but you have to acknowledge, “I hear, Pete, that you’re bothered or upset or passionate about that issue.” Name it.

And then give somebody room to actually state their position. We often go into defense mode and we assume that anybody’s position is equal in valence and significance to ours. And so we have to really listen and understand, and maybe even explicitly say, “How important is this to you?”

I’ll give you an example. My wife and I learned from some friends of ours a long time ago to do this. If we have a potential disagreement, the very first thing we’ll do is we’ll say, “How important is this to you on a scale of one to ten?”

And if you have a partner that you can trust, this is a wonderful way to diffuse conflict. So let’s say my wife, we agree we’re going out to dinner, but she says she wants Mexican food and I would like Chinese food. Potential conflict.

But if she says, “Hey, Mexican food is a three,” and for me it’s a seven, then there’s no conflict. We make this assumption that our partner or partners that we’re struggling with see the world and have the same level of import to whatever it is we’re discussing that we do.

So you have to acknowledge, you have to listen, you have to ascertain priority, “How important is this?” And then you have to do the hard work of figuring out, “What are the ways that we can work together to consider this, knowing that it’s about collaboration and not about competition?”

And so if we can do these things, all of a sudden, in the moment, spontaneous conflict and challenge can be managed much more directly. And then you can rely on some of the tools and tips that I’ve shared with you and others that are earlier in the book around, “How do you structure your information?” You don’t just ramble and list things.

You might use a structure like, “What?” “So what?” “Now what?” “What?” “Here’s my position or my suggestion. So what? Why it’s important and how I think it’ll help us. And now what are my suggested next steps?”

So in any spontaneous speaking situation, you have to deal with mindset and you have to deal with messaging. So the mindset is acknowledging, listening, understanding the prioritization. And then the messaging is taking whatever solution collaboratively that you come up with and packaging it in a way so somebody else can say it.

So, sorry for the long-winded answer, but that’s also another important part of this update and, really, a significant part of how we get better at communicating.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, I think that’s very helpful and needed, and that’s a nice move in terms of, “How important is this to you?” And, indeed, you would have to have some trust because, then, I guess you could win every time, like, “Nine. This is nine-level importance.”

Matt Abrahams
Well, with my kids, everything is a ten. Everything with my kids, that’s a ten. So you have to calibrate. You have to calibrate, but it makes a big difference.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, understood. And I also want your take, in terms of in the heat of the moment conflict, I think those are very great. Maybe you’d say, top down perspectives in terms of the issues, and how important they are, and thinking about them logically and rationally and not jumping to conclusions about, “Oh, they’re really mad, and they must have it this way,” you know? So very wise.

I’m curious about some of the, maybe, bottom-up perspectives of just keeping your cool in that moment. Any pro tips there?

Matt Abrahams
Right. So it can be really hard. We can be emotionally triggered very easily around something that’s really important to us. There’s a whole bunch of other factors that could go into it. If we’re tired, if we’re coming out of, you know, the fourth meeting, this is the third thing that didn’t go well today.

So the ability, and this comes from mindfulness training, the ability to acknowledge, “This is how I am feeling,” gives you a little bit of space to do something about it. So rather than being absorbed by the feeling, say, “This is me feeling frustrated.” “This is me feeling really sad by what the person just said.”

By saying those words to yourself, you give yourself a little bit of psychological distance so that you can do something. It gives you just a little bit of space. Also, if you can do something physical, ground yourself, feel the ground through your feet or your shoes, touch something. That gets you out of that emotional state so you can make a more rational decision.

Now I am not saying that emotions are bad. They are very important. Emotions signal that something needs to be done. But, at the same time, when emotionally triggered, it can hamper or actually lead to bad communication. So we need to actually give ourselves a little space.

And maybe the best thing for me to do, Pete, is to say, “You know, that comment was hurtful. And I need to take just a little bit of time before you and I can come back and talk about this more.” Taking that time out for yourself will help you tremendously. It’ll help you get your thoughts ordered. It’ll help you sort through the emotion. And it, ultimately, will help you deliver a better message.

So, you’re right, emotions loom large and we have to be prepared for those, and we have to just name them and maybe do something physical to help give us just that little bit of space.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Well, now could you share a favorite quote, something you find inspiring?

Matt Abrahams
“No matter where you go, there you are.” It really helps to remind me that the place I need to be at this moment is right here and with the person or people that I’m with, instead of the three other things that I could, should, would be doing. It makes me chuckle a little bit because it’s a little, you know, it makes a lot of intuitive sense, but it’s also very memorable.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And could you mention a favorite study or experiment or bit of research?

Matt Abrahams
I’ve been talking a lot about language and framing. And so my favorite framing research is very simple. These researchers went to a group of people and said, “Imagine you have a terrible disease. We have a potential cure. It has a 67% failure rate.”

They then went to another group of people, just like the first group, and said, “Imagine you have a terrible disease. We have a potential cure. It has a 33% success rate. Would you like to take it?” I hope you agree, a 67% failure rate, a 33% success rate is the same thing. Yet dramatically, people take the treatment, the imagined treatment, when it is framed as something positive.

And I’m not saying this means you should always frame things positive. What I’m saying is we need to think about how we use language to help us. I’ll give you an example. I work with a lot of people pitching ideas. You can frame a pitch as a problem that you are solving or an opportunity that you’re going to capture. You get a choice.

And you have to think about, “Which way will work best for my audience?” And here’s where you can test it out on people, or you can use AI to help you think through your audience, “Are these the kind of people who are more problem-focused or more opportunity-focused?”

But the way we use words to help us move people in the direction we want to, really, is something I’ve been focusing on a lot lately.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, that is intriguing, and I actually want to dig into this a little bit more.

Matt Abrahams
Sure.

Pete Mockaitis
I would imagine, you tell me, since you’ve lived it with so many clients. My hunch is “the problem we’re solving” frame works better if the investors are folks who care passionately about that specific issue, like, “Hey, you know what, my child had that problem. Wow, yes, I am touched and moved and would love to be a part of solving that,” versus if they’re just, you know, money-hungry and return-maximizing investors, “Oh, yeah, let’s talk opportunity.” That’s my guess. What’s the reality, Matt?

Matt Abrahams
I think your intuition is probably right. If people have a connection to an issue, a problem, that framing it that way works. The breakdown that I, typically, see and talk about is, when you have people who you’re communicating with, who are deeply in the depths, the belly of whatever the topic is, people who are deeply financial, people who are highly technical, people who are very scientific, they tend to like to solve problems.

When they were in school, they did problem sets. They didn’t do opportunity sets. So framing it for the way they are in the world, their background, works. But when you’re in sales, when you’re in marketing, when you’re in senior leadership, often it’s about the opportunities that lie ahead.

So I think it’s multidimensional. I think part of it is people’s backgrounds and just how they are in the world, but also, their connection to the topic also makes sense to me. I just am not aware of any research that bears out your hypothesis, although, to me, intuitively, it makes sense.

Pete Mockaitis
Okay. And a favorite book?

Matt Abrahams
The book I’ll share with you, from my dear friend Patricia Ryan Madsen. If you don’t know Patricia, you should get to know her. She wrote a book called Improv Wisdom. Very short, little book. It’s about how you can apply improvisation principles to your life.

So it’s not about getting up on a stage and trying to be funny. It’s about, “In my everyday life, how can I leverage ideas from improv to help me be more responsive and to be more connected and communicate better?”

It’s a lovely book. I mean, this is a book that I return to and I think everybody should give it a read. It is fun and helpful.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite tool?

Matt Abrahams
I’ll give you an app because I use it all the time. And, again, I’m not trying to sell it, although, I have. It’s called Superhuman.

Pete Mockaitis
Oh, I love it. I use it all the time.

Matt Abrahams
Yes, it is great. So you know the power of it. It allows me to be more efficient in my written communication. And I am at least 30-35% more effective in my emails, of which I get hundreds, and it helps me be smarter in the way I communicate. So that is probably the most useful tool that I have.

Pete Mockaitis
Well, it’s so funny, Matt, we usually have to keep the fast phase fast, but you’re just so intriguing here. So I love Superhuman because, one, it’s a blazingly fast interface. And it really kind of subtly trains you to use those shortcut keys.

Like, “Hey, these are here. Go ahead and use them. You know what? You’re right.” So it’s super responsive. The shortcuts, I’m grooving in with them. Oh, I like the split inboxes. It can identify a pitch roughly with AI so that they’re just in a separate tab of pitches. So I just go forward them to all of my team. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! But tell me, what are you finding transformational about Superhuman?

Matt Abrahams
So I, as a teacher, pretty regularly, send out very similar messages to people, and they have a feature called Snippet, and it allows you to, very quickly, send out similar emails. That’s the one that I rely on a lot as well.

And their built-in AI, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve used the built-in AI to help me find like, “Who is that person I talked to in an email three years ago?” you know? And it used to be I’d scroll through my sent folder and try, I might misspell their name. So those are the two features beyond what you have said that I use.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah, I guess that semantic piece really can come in handy. It’s like, “I don’t remember the key word we said, but it was a guy trying to sell me a thing with a video a couple years ago.”

Matt Abrahams
Thing, yeah, three years ago.

Pete Mockaitis
It’s like enough of those, you know, very vague descriptors chained together. It’s like, “Oh, I can work with that.” And then it’s like, “Oh, yeah, that’s the one. Thank you.”

Matt Abrahams
Exactly.

Pete Mockaitis
And a favorite habit?

Matt Abrahams
This is going to sound funny, but I play darts. So I have an outdoor dartboard, and every day I try to go out. I’ve done martial arts for a long, long time, and as part of that, I took up archery and I found it very calming to focus.

Unfortunately, my wife won’t let me shoot arrows in my house, or around my house, and the archery range is a little farther away. And I found that throwing darts is helpful as well. It helps me be very present, it helps me focus, and I kind of have fun doing it. So that’s a habit that I’ve been enjoying recently.

Pete Mockaitis
Yeah. And is there a key nugget you share that really connects and resonates with folks, they quote back to you often?

Matt Abrahams
The one that I think most recently and relates to the new edition of the book is, “You can prepare to be spontaneous.”

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And if folks want to learn more or get in touch, where would you point them?

Matt Abrahams
I would point them, first and foremost, to FasterSmarter.io. FasterSmarter.io is the source of all of the resources and the show, Think Fast, Talk Smart that I host. I’m a big, big user of LinkedIn. Happy to have you jump on there. And we have a newsletter you can sign up for at either FasterSmarter.io or on LinkedIn, and would love to connect with people in any way.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. And is there a final challenge or call to action for folks looking to be awesome at their jobs?

Matt Abrahams
Yeah, so I challenge everybody to take a moment to work on and reflect on your communication. I’ll tell you a practice I do. Every night before I go to bed, in my journal, I will write one thing that went well in my communication that day and one thing that didn’t go as well.

And then every Sunday, I go back and review for three or four minutes, and I make a plan for the following week of how to improve something that I was not pleased with. And that act of doing that makes a huge difference. I’m not saying I’m a great communicator, but I’m a much better communicator because of that.

So I challenge everybody listening to spend some time just reflecting on what worked and what didn’t, either in your communication or others, and think about how you could change your communication for the better.

Pete Mockaitis
All right. Matt, thank you.

Matt Abrahams
Pete, thank you. This has been a wonderful pleasure to come back and chat with you. Thanks.